18 May 2007

The best lines to wait on?! Fuck that noise

Time Out NY basically wrote a listicle on the best spots to wait in line for some cheap summer thrills. Fuck. That. Nothing turns me OFF more than waiting on a fucking line, I don't care if 400 thicker Valeria Golino's were standing naked in front of me (well, ok maybe then, but ONLY then and it would have to be exactly 400). I will give Time Out NY props though because they gave a shout-out to my girl Jessica Ettinger-Gottesman from 1010 WINS...

Jessica is the automated voice on the 4, 5 and 6 trains.

"Those soothing yet authoritative announcements are like aural sex. The voice behind the sweet entreaties belongs to radio anchor Jessica Ettinger Gottesman of 1010 WINS. Thanks to her, swaying East Siders can get their rocks off nightly to the dominatrixy sound of “The next stop is…59th Street.” “It doesn’t creep me out that people are into my voice,” says Gottesman. “I don’t have to actually stand next to them.” Whatever, Jessica—we’d still like to put our train in your tunnel."

A few years ago when I discovered the magical wordplay behind a homophone phrase like "aural sex" I thought I was such a fucking genius. Sort of like the first time you realise "serial" and "cereal".


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