29 May 2007

File under: Shameless

Peter Max Lawrence throws grammar to the wind with his highly acclaimed piece "The Convetional War"

So I'm on Ebay perusing Peter Max prints and theres some dude on there going by the name "Peter Max Lawrence" and all his horrible $8 watercolour paintings are mixed in with the real Peter Max stuff. How annoying.

Its sort of like searching MySpace Music for Dylan songs and coming across these herbs also named Dylan playing acoustic guitars. Its like, bro, pick a new name. Your parents might've been cool enough at the time to name you Dylan but if you're gonna play music now, you've gotta lose the name. It's just silly, and if you're not doing it to be cocky, you're just naïve and always being both must be a drag.

I know record labels who think they're so fucking clever; strategically marketing their bands' albums to be filed under other stuff it sounds like instead of alphabetically where you would expect to find it. How lame and fake. If my bands' name starts with a goddamn "B" I want our CD to be filed under "B" not under "P" because our stupid record label think its clever and wants to exploit Pantera fans or whatever.

Ugh, I swear there is a very special place in hell for advertisers and marketing exces like that. The same ones who'd rather release a sequel than an original movie.

1 comment:

PML said...

I'd like to take a minute of your time to share some of my thoughts about Gotham City Insider with you. Let me cut to the chase: When people say that bigotry and hate are alive and well, they're right. And Gotham City Insider is to blame. An organization that wants to get ahead should try to understand the long-range consequences of its actions. Gotham City Insider has never had that faculty. It always does what it wants to do at the moment and figures it'll be able to lie itself out of any problems that arise. Gotham City Insider doesn't care about freedom, as it can neither sell it nor put it in the bank. It's just a word to it.

While we may all pray for a perfect utopian world in which everyone is holding hands and singing "We Are the World" in perfect harmony, the reality is that Gotham City Insider is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, it has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people it desires to lead. While I don't know Gotham City Insider's secret plans, I do know that if my own experience has taught me anything, it's that Gotham City Insider's cock-and-bull stories are a house of mirrors. How are we to find the opening that leads to freedom? I've excogitated one theory that almost completely answers that question. Unfortunately, it fails to take into account that Gotham City Insider will use cheap, intemperate propaganda to arouse the passions of imperious nutcases within a short period of time. When that event happens, a darkness and evil exceeding anything seen in history will descend over the world. I can hope only that before it does, people will build a new understanding that can transport us to tomorrow. Only then can we lay out some ideas and interpretations that hold the potential for insight.

Gotham City Insider refuses to come to terms with reality. It prefers instead to live in a fantasy world of rationalization and hallucination. No matter how close it's come to making me feel disconnected from reality, it won't be satisfied until it finds a way to implement a confused parody of justice called "Gotham City Insider-ism". Gotham City Insider's janissaries say, "Gotham City Insider never engages in inaniloquent, jackbooted, or unenlightened politics." Yes, I'm afraid they really do talk like that. It's the only way for them to conceal that you may be worried that Gotham City Insider will lead us into an age of shoddiness -- shoddy goods, shoddy services, shoddy morals, and shoddy people -- in the coming days. If so, then I share your misgivings. But let's not worry about that now. Instead, let's discuss my observation that we were put on this planet to be active, to struggle, and to stand up and fight for our heritage, traditions, and values. We were not put here to mold the mind of virtually every citizen -- young or old, rich or poor, simple or sophisticated -- as Gotham City Insider might feel.

I have always assumed that Gotham City Insider's sycophants have discounted their brain as a useless organ, but the fact of the matter is that Gotham City Insider can't possibly believe that pharisaical, raucous soi-disant do-gooders are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. It's craven but it's not that craven. I imagine that Gotham City Insider's a pretty good liar most of the time. However, it tells so many lies, it's bound to trip itself up someday. Gotham City Insider would have us believe that this is the best of all possible worlds and that it is the best of all possible organizations. Not surprisingly, its evidence for that utterly heartless claim is top-heavy with anonymous sources and, to put it mildly, it has a checkered track record for accuracy. I insist it would be more accurate for Gotham City Insider to say that if it weren't for sanctimonious madmen, it would have no friends.

Given the amount of misinformation that Gotham City Insider is circulating, I must undeniably point out that it has been known to say that it has answers to everything. That notion is so offensive, I hardly know where to begin refuting it. I am truly at a loss for words when Gotham City Insider asserts that a knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity. It can't possibly be serious. I suspect that the real story here is that whenever there's an argument about Gotham City Insider's devotion to principles and to freedom, all one has to do is point out that Gotham City Insider's commentaries blend hypersensitive cronyism (manifested in a self-deceiving stance) with a purported support for environmentalism, trade unionism, and the dignity of labor. That should settle the argument pretty quickly. If everyone does his own, small part, together we can convert retreat into advance.

Gotham City Insider fervently believes that it would sooner give up money, fame, power, and happiness than perform a rapacious act. This shows that it is not merely mistaken about one little fact among millions of facts but that Gotham City Insider should start developing the parts of its brain that have been impaired by totalitarianism. At least then it'll stop trying to compose paeans to gangsterism. I've never bothered Gotham City Insider. Yet Gotham City Insider wants to confuse the catastrophic power of state fascism with the repression of an authoritarian government in our minds. Whatever happened to "live and let live"? Currently, Gotham City Insider lacks the clout to stifle the voices of those who are simply seeking to be heard. But before the year is over, it will have enough adulators to leave us in the lurch.

Gotham City Insider has a knack for convincing the most wrongheaded four-flushers you'll ever see (also known as Gotham City Insider's factotums) that it has a duty to conceal the facts and lie to the rest of us, under oath if necessary, perjuring itself to help disseminate the True Faith of feudalism. That's called marketing. The underlying trick is to use sesquipedalian terms like "physiologicoanatomic" and "internationalization" to keep its sales pitch from sounding self-centered. That's why you really have to look hard to see that Gotham City Insider has been trying to conceal its plans to bury our heritage, our traditions, and our culture. Fortunately, the truth about its deplorable homilies is spreading like a jungle fire. Soon, everyone will know that Gotham City Insider has, on a number of occasions, expressed a desire to produce precisely the alienation and conflict needed to deny citizens the ability to draw their own conclusions about the potential for violence that it may be generating. On all of these occasions, I submitted to the advice of my friends, who assured me that we must comment on its practices in such a way that there is nothing it can do about it except learn to live with the fait accompli. Or, to express that sentiment without all of the emotionally charged lingo, someone has been giving its brain a very thorough washing and now Gotham City Insider is trying to do the same to us.

The reason I'm writing this letter is that Gotham City Insider confuses entertainment with learning, by which I mean that you don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: Gotham City Insider is the embodiment of everything petty in our lives. Every grievance, every envy, every obstinate ideology finds expression in Gotham City Insider. Can you really blame me for suggesting that Gotham City Insider uses propagandism as a subtle poison to dry up the sound serum of morality on which this country used to thrive? This will become even more obvious in the years just ahead, which is another way of saying that honor means nothing to Gotham City Insider. Principles mean nothing to Gotham City Insider. All it cares about is how to kill the goose bearing the golden egg.

Gotham City Insider's underlings claim to have no choice but to undermine the intellectual purpose of higher education. I wish there were some way to help these miserable, noisome, wanton leeches. They are outcasts, lost in a world they didn't make and don't understand. A central point of Gotham City Insider's belief systems is the notion that an open party with unlimited access to alcohol can't possibly outgrow the host's ability to manage the crowd. Perhaps it should take some new data into account and revisit that notion. I think it'd find that it uses highfalutin terms like "counterrevolutionist" and "ultraphotomicrograph" to conceal its plans to make it virtually impossible to fire incompetent workers. In this scheme of its, a mass of grandiloquent words falls upon the facts like soft snow, blurring the outlines and covering up all the details. We become unable to see that Gotham City Insider has never been a big fan of freedom of speech. It supports pogroms on speech, thought, academic license, scientific perspective, journalistic integrity, and any other form of expression that gives people the freedom to state that Gotham City Insider would have us believe that it is a refined organization with the soundest ethics and morals you can imagine. Yeah, right. And I also suppose that the rules don't apply to Gotham City Insider? The fact of the matter is that it operates on an international scale to teach the next generation how to hate -- and whom to hate. It's only fitting, therefore, that we, too, work on an international scale, but to keep our priorities in check.

Yes, Virginia, Gotham City Insider decries or dismisses capitalism, technology, industrialization, and systems of government borne of Enlightenment ideas about the dignity and freedom of human beings. These are the things that it fears because they are wedded to individual initiative and responsibility. Not to belabor the point, but the ultimate aim of Gotham City Insider's vaporings is to restructure society as a pyramid with Gotham City Insider at the top, Gotham City Insider's secret police directly underneath, contentious, morally crippled galoots beneath them, and the rest of at the bottom. This new societal structure will enable Gotham City Insider to clear forests, strip the topsoil, and turn a natural paradise into a dust bowl through a self-induced drought, which makes me realize that it thinks that human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements. However, all of its ideas contain distasteful elements. The devil not only finds too much mischief for idle hands to do but increasingly in our contemporary world he causes humorless dissemblers to trample over the very freedoms and rights that Gotham City Insider claims to support. Is it just me, or do other people also think that we have our work cut out for us? I ask because I have frequently criticized Gotham City Insider's unspoken plan to present a false image to the world by hiding unpleasant but vitally important realities about its deeds. It usually addresses my criticisms by accusing me of clericalism, expansionism, child molestation, and halitosis. Gotham City Insider hopes that by delegitimizing me this way, no one will listen to me when I say that Gotham City Insider wants to subject human beings to indignities. What does it think it is? I mean, idle hands are the devil's tools. That's why Gotham City Insider spends its leisure time devising ever more scummy ways to renege on an incredibly large number of promises. At this point, our task is to bring strength to our families, power to our nation, and health to our cities. Your support can help greatly with this task, this crucial task, at which we must not fail.