"Polaaand Spring, coming to you straight from Ming"

When I was a kid thats what I thought the Poland Spring theme was and thats because Maine doesn't rhyme with Spring you dolts!

Miss USA busts her ass at the Miss Universe contest; yet another reason why girls should stay out of stupid high heels. Keep it kitten, ladies. HOLLA.

Oh my God! Family goes one week without television or internet: Inside a family's harrowing survival diary.

Need a gig? Down to take a bullet for some Bush? The Secret Service is hiring.

Maybe I'm missing something with not eating fried chicken? Sounds like people are risking their lives for a seat with the Colonel... Cops are investigating what sparked a shooting last night at a Kennedy Fried Chicken on Archer Street in the Bronx, some dude walked in and shot 4 teenaged customers... Meanwhile a car smashed into the front of a Popeye's on 145th Street in Harlem on Monday. Three customers were injured when the sedan smashed through brick and windows.

I watched an amazing episode of Howard TV last night; Artie and Howard were both welling up with a burnt-out Artie on the verge of a complete nervous breakdown and laying it all out there. It was really intense, brutally candid and totally worth only getting 4 hours of sleep last night. If you have Howard TV, watch it tonight. Honestly, it was riveting.

I haven't listened to this dude in weeks but for some reason I can't get this song out of my fucking head. It's driving me insane.

Have you searched Craigslist lately? It's overflowing with people hemorrhaging Yankee tickets and that's because they suck. Following a 7-2 defeat to the goddamn Toronto Bluejays last night, the Yanks find themselves in last place in the AL East, 13 1/2 games behind Boston. Haha!