01 June 2007

Dude with contagious airborne disease reprimanded for boarding transatlantic flight and quarantined; immediately embarks on world apology tour

  • Andrew Speaker is a 31 year old lawyer from Atlanta.

  • Andrew has an extremely rare strain of tuberculosis that is drug-resistant.

  • Andrew spends a few weeks globetrotting on commercial flights from Paris to Prague to Canada coughing up a storm.

  • Andrew is happily waved back into the country even though a border guards computer flashes "DO NOT LET THIS MAN IN!!!!!!!"

  • Eventually Andrew is found and he is immediately quarantined.

  • We learn Andrew's father-in-law is a microbiologist at the CDC (Center for Disease Control).

  • Hmmm.

  • We learn Andrew's father-in-law specializes in the spread of tuberculosis and other bacteria.

  • Um...

  • Andrew poses for a photo with Paris Hilton wearing a Howard The Duck costume.

  • Still contagious with the very rare airborne disease, Andrew embarks on a world apology tour.

  • Andrew probably stands to make some cash out of this whole ordeal.

  • God Bless America.

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