26 June 2007

Tuesday is Newsday

  • WWF wrestler dude Chris Benoit canceled a pay-per-view appearance in Houston because of "personal reasons" a day before he, his wife and their 7-year-old son were found dead in an apparent murder-suicide. WWF said it had asked authorities to check on Benoit and his family after being alerted by friends who received "several curious text messages sent by Benoit early Sunday morning." Weird, tragic & sad. UPDATE: Authorities also said they are investigating whether steroids may have been a factor in the deaths. Benoit strangled his wife and smothered his son before hanging himself in his weight room.

  • The king of the jungle doesn't frighten the lion whisperer... Animal behaviourist Kevin Richardson has such an intimate bond with big cats that he can spend the night curled up with them without the slightest fear of attack. Richardson, 32, who is based in a wildlife conservation area near Johannesburg in South Africa, works his unusual magic on other species too. Cheetahs, leopards and even unpredictable hyenas hold no threats for him. These pics are adorable.

  • I kinda love hard-ass John McCain... the other day he told a crowd of supporters if anyone thinks he's out of the running, they must be "smoking something". I love it.

  • Shark pregnancy baffles aquarium

  • Gaggle of total Johnsons just walked by my desk, presumably on their way to a power lunch at The Four Seasons; discussing home theater equipment or whatever Johnson #1 suggested a certain brand saying:

    "Y'know if ya have the money and the space blah blah blah..."

    Johnson #2 responded quizzically, "Why, such-and-such brand is very expensive?"

    To which the all-knowing-Johnson #1 said "No... not... not exaggeratingly so".

    Now, who the F says exaggeratingly?!?!?!!

    There is simply NO WAY anyones brain could automatically access that word; thats a word you have to really look for, behind mental furniture and underneath cerebral couch cushions before it comes out of your mouth. Nobody says "exaggeratingly", nobody.

    Boys, could you do me a favour and keep those kinds of words away from my desk; I'm trying to keep this area neat, thanks!

  • I spied some pics of Paris Hilton free as a bird from prison and she actually didn't look half-bad, a lot softer and less like a fish skeleton in a Tom & Jerry cartoon. Maybe she finally got some carbs in lockdown? I mean holding Paris down and forcefeeding her bread and white rice is akin to a bloody shanking in the shower to a regular inmate. Right?

  • New Ferrell / Pearl skit is online. Sadly, it will be her last. So, enjoy!

  • 62-year-old comedian turned Law & Order SVU star Richard Belzer says he's gonna write two "mystery books". OK, fair enough. But wait, there's more. Belzer said "it is with great enthusiasm that I will bring the world of show business, celebrity worship, sly social commentary and even 'cameos' by real celebrities into my literary adventures"... Ummm... Uhhh... Errr.... "a potent mix of Dashiell Hammett, Oscar Wilde, Lenny Bruce and Robert Altman seasoned by the Belzerian vision of life, as the wry and raucous, raunchy worlds of make-believe and reality converge, this is the first 'reality novel' of the new millennium that explores a unique universe that poses the question, 'What is reality?'"Ok, Belz, bro, you just killed it. You shoulda just left it as "I'm gonna write 2 books".

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