Yo, D.J., pump this party!

Hammer of the Gods... THUNDERCLAP ! ... Republican White House blowhards met for their second debate last night. During the debate, Rudy Giuliani was asked about abortion; when he began to respond, a lightning strike briefly interfered with the debate hall sound system. Ha!

MTA says worse case scenario... $3 bus and subway fare by 2010. Weren't we supposed to have flying cars by 2010 ?

Dude drank one of those energy drinks and got a hard on that wouldn't quit; now he's trying sue. If he was smart, he'd cash in and be their spokesperson. After having a can of "Boost Plus" Chris Woods of Manhattan said he woke up the next morning "with an erection that would not subside''. Here's the full story.

After 14 years and 2 daughters, Larry David and his wife Laurie split up. She said he wouldn't stop complaining about stuff.

A German man tried to jump into Pope Eggs Benedict's uncovered popemobile and held onto it for a few seconds before being wrestled to the ground by security officers and former members of Rammstein. Here's a video of the leap. I love the beatdown which ensues, Pope doesn't even notice. Classic. Hey, God Bless.

A D.C. area judge who was seeking $67 million from a dry cleaners that lost his pants has loosened the belt on his lawsuit. Now he only wants $54 million. Dude, where you shopping at?! Holla at your boy.

Motorist Injured When Car Strikes Moose on Merritt Parkway. Haha, thats what you get, bitch!

Thousands of people fled their homes in panic on the Indonesian coast after hoax text messages spread warning them that a tsunami will hit the region. Ironically, I also received a hoax text message to meet my friend for dinner but when I got there, I was attacked by a baby shark.

A woman is facing jail time for "staring" at a police dog in Vermont. Good. Cops said this drunk beeotch was taunting and harassing the pup.

Vidjeo Larry King bitching about Anderson Cooper getting more air time than him.

Woah Oh Woah Oh Sister Havana! A healthier looking 80 year old Fidel Castro appeared on Cuban television yesterday, wearing a goddamn track suit?!, speaking slowly and focusing on past memories rather than his recovery and future in his first lengthy appearance since he fell ill and gave up power to his brother last summer. Castro candidly admitted the only cool thing about Cuba are the cigars and the 4 pocket shirts.

By years end "Mohammed" will be the most popular name for newborn boys in Britain. Ok, I really need to get over there and start having babies because that's just f*cked.

Daydreaming might feel like the ultimate waste of time, but it's just the opposite. Recent research from Dartmouth College suggests that during daydreaming, your brain may actually be processing important issues that aren't relevant at that immediate moment — So forgive yourself for spacing out; though you may not even be aware of it, you've got other things on your mind. Things such as gin and juice and my shorty.

My boy Glen Friedman is putting out a book about Fugazi. Good, I could use a new picture book. Me hate words.

Ok, thats enough for you to chew on for now. More, later.