Barbecue, Barbeque & BBQ: An Impassioned Editorial

The origins of both the activity of barbecue cooking and the word itself are somewhat obscure. Most etymologists believe that barbecue derives ultimately from the word barabicu found in the language of the Taíno people of the Caribbean. The word translates as sacred fire pit and is also spelled barbicoa. The word describes a grill for cooking meat consisting of a wooden platform resting on sticks.

OK great, now that thats out of the way...

I hate when people use "barbecue" to describe the kind of food cooked at a barbecue.

For example:

"Honey, let's just go Martha's goddamn barbecue" would be fine.

"Let's have a July 4th barbecue" is also wonderful.

However,

"I love me some barbecue" or "Help yourself, there's plenty of barbecue left." are no good. It just sounds wrong and dumb.

I like "barbecue" when its used as a verb, thats fine: to cook, or to broil yadda yadda yadda. And when its a noun, as in the apparatus you cook shit on "the barbecue" or the event itself "let's have a motherfucking barbecue" but when its used as a noun to describe the pieces of meat or whatever you're cooking, I just hate it and I wish I knew why.

It sounds like improper English when people use it that way: "My wife and I love barbecue": it sounds Neanderthalic, at best.

Another BBQ pet peeve of mine are these electric and gas grills; it usurps the entire purpose of BBQing! BBQ = charcoal, lighter fluid and matches. Using a gas grill is like cooking on your kitchen stove, outside. Oh, big fun!

Y'all don't know how to BBQ.