16 July 2007

I've got so many simply AMAZING ideas, I can afford to spare a few

The Diet Scam

  1. Take before pics. Look as fat as possible. Pig out, whatever, look real, real fat.
  2. Lose a shit load of weight. Like don't eat for a few months, just drink water and do meth.
  3. Pick a random food, lets say Campbell Soup tomato & rice for instance.
  4. Write a letter to Campbell Soup. Send before & after photos. Tell them you lost all the weight by eating only healthy and hearty Campbell Soup for 3 months.
  5. Sit back and weight wait for the checks to roll in. Get ready to do public speaking engagements and become the new spokesperson for Campbell Soup.
  6. Send me 50% of your $ and thank me publicly and profusely while spoiling me lavishly with ornaments of opal and gold.
  7. Milk it for a few years and threaten to write a book about how it was all scam. Then either take Campbell's bribe to keep quiet or ask for a lot of $ from a big publishing house.
  8. Spell my name write on the first page dedication.

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