05 July 2007


Did everyone enjoy their day off? Good, thats grand. I didn't update yesterday for I was busy playing Bob Villa trying to finish up moving into my new flat; several death-defying trips to the basement for storage later and I'm almost totally settled. I made my mother an accessory to some illegal activity as well; I won't get into what, but good lookin Mum! Now I know you a true street soldier. One.

Having a Wednesday off is a bit puzzling and unsettling to my fragile equilibrium but I'm trying to rise above it as an artist and finish out the week. I decided to go for the hot coffee this morning, yes, yes I know, I threw you all for a loop. If you're keeping score: I went for the hot haselnuss with half&half and 3 Splenda. Which reminds me, I'm gonna have to steal some more sugar packets from the "Bistro" downstairs because I forgot my desk key at home and now all my drawers are locked. Foiled again!

So I wasn't sure which sector of the new flat I wanted to grant my dog access to this morning before I left for work. I only have one baby gate left which reminds me I need to get another for additional barricading purposes; you never when you'll have an unruly guest over that you want to bar from the kitchen. So normally I'd give my pup complete reign of the entire expanse but since its only been a week living there and she's still getting to know everything I decided to leave her in Quadrant 1A; access to Quad1A gives her full access to my bedroom, the hallway, the kitchen and the bathroom. More than enough area for her to do some serious damage but I trust her. Maybe next week we'll elevate her access permissions to QuadX, which would be full access to the entire house save for my bedroom. I like to switch it up on her and keep that little bitch guessin'. I'll let you know how it works out and report back this evening.

I'm still getting used to living on the first floor, which is something totally new to me. And even though the new spot is shrouded in trees and recessed from the street, I still feel like everyones peering in and I have to be more conscious leaving windows open. It's a learning process, folks. Baby steps.

Did anyone watch the maudlin Macy's 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular on TV last night? The theme was "In Our Children's Eyes" (BARF!) I didn't know we did pyrothemes. Former Giants running back reborn TV reporter Tiki Barber is a such a hack. Tiki and Natalie Morales hosted the "spectacular" and all that was missing was fat Al Roker, some holiday scarves and some hot cocoa. It looked like a goddamn Christmas special! I was waiting for the fake snow and the Michelle Kwan. I also wanna know what happened to the mysterious Grucci Brothers? Macy's employed some other corporate firework co. this year which is like firing D'Abruzziolio Sanitation and signing a contract with Waste Management. Lame! I caught a few minutes of the hysterical 1010 WINS fireworks on the radio? debacle though it was intriguing to hear some of the familiar anchors actually speaking candidly and showing some personality. I forget who it was but one of the dudes was absolutely gushing about Joss Stone, like he was bordering on comical.

Some three years since the finale, I hear they're making a Sex And The City movie. I'm into the TBS reruns, I just hate that TBS logo. It looks just like the old Ban deodorant logo and it drives me nuts. I always feel like I'm watching a commercial rather than a decadent show about a glorified blogger. I guess the movie got close to happening about 2 years ago, but progress halted when Kim Cattrall backed away. She wanted script controls and a salary close to that of Sarah Jessica Parker, who was more highly paid than the others because she was co-executive producer of the series. Whatever tensions existed are gone now, sources said. Cattrall has a deal she’s happy with, one the sources said gives her input on her scenes, a fat salary and a future series deal with HBO. Oooh, the Kim Cattrall show?

What else? Oh, the hot dog eating competition. One Joey Chestnut beat out six-time titlist Takeru Kobayashi. Chestnut ate 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes which averages out to one hot dog every 10.9 seconds. Gross. Kobayashi had a wisdom tooth extracted and received chiropractic treatment due to a sore jaw so Chestnut had the advantage. I'm sure Kob will reclaim his throne next year. What I think about is the dudes who didn't win and probably never had a chance to win; they all ate 30, 40 or 50 something hot dogs for naught!! This whole competitive eating thing is totally insane. Some people are really into it. I heard some creepy guy being interviewed on 1010 WINS saying how excited he was just to be "so close to some of the worlds best eaters". It sounded like he was wearing acid washed jeans with the elastic waist and white Reeboks with the Velcro. The type of guy you'd call the cops on if he was looming near your kids schoolyard. His voice alone creeped me out.

Speaking of white Reeboks... Attention Dudes: suits with sneakers is over with. Done. Dead and buried. Burnt. It isn't cool or hip or sublime or ironic to get married and wear a tux with Chuck Taylors anymore. Now I still see some of the working women of Manhattan, USA rocking the power suit and the pantyhose with the white running sneaks. OK. Fine. I understand walking to work in your pumps or your kitten heels might be rough, and somehow its become an accepted yet awful style even if its it just for your commute - which is when the rest of the world sees you looking like a fool - but fellas, ya gotta give it up. I've seen a lot of men rocking the suit with the running shoes; presumably they'll lace up their Wingtips when they get to their desk but they look like bona fide tools in the meantime. Chino Dockers, white dress shirt tucked the f*ck in, skinny tie and big, clunky white Spalding running sneakers!?!? Good. Lord. I wished I was blind. It was obscene. And I see it a lot. If you've gotta wear running sneakers then buy more comfortable shoes!! It's simple! There is no reason and no excuse for you to be rocking a suit with sneakers until you get to the office. You look like a f*cking moron!

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