29 August 2007

More on Glory holes and toilet graffiti

Traveling the country like a lunatic so many times over, I've seen a lot of cool shit. How's that for poetry? But the men's bathroom and the lonely gay trucker phenom has always blown my mind.

"A glory hole is a hole in a wall, or other partition, often between public lavatory stalls or video booths for men (and and to a lesser extent women) to engage in sexual activity or observe the person in the next cubicle while one or both parties masturbate. The partition maintains anonymity. "

The origin of the term is unknown, but may have come from the mining industry, where the opening to a mineshaft containing the "mother lode" would be considered to be the "glory hole".

Or it could perhaps be in reference to the always open mouth or "glory hole" of a kiln used in glass blowing.

There are many theories regarding the origins of the first glory hole. One common concept is that they began in ancient days as a spy or peep hole, and grew larger as men sought more contact, but only enough contact as to perform sex acts upon the genitals of another man.

The theory of use was that, although heterosexual men would seek the relief to be found on the other side of a glory hole, they did not wish to lose their anonymity, or to engage in any other physical contact with another man... therefore if you can't see who's doing what to you on the other side of the hole, hey, you're all set. I think they should be called "ignorance is bliss-holes".

Due to the fear of arrest or assault, or etiquette, few males will insert their sfogliatelle in a glory hole without invitation from the person on the other side of the partition. "A common signal by a willing participant is to insert one or more fingers in the hole, often accompanied by a beckoning motion, and an audible invitation such as a purr or whistle." That is so fucking vile. I need a shower.

I've run in horror from my share of vile glory holes but taken considerable interest in the coded graffiti on the walls of the stalls throughout America.

There's always something ironically illiterate scrawled about whomever is president at the time being dumb; theres usually something catachrestic and frighteningly racist; you'd be surprised how often you'll still see the classics like "Joe Wuz Here"; sometimes you'll see some rudimentary rhyming poetry about "taking a dump"; and then, well, then theres the gay trucker sex... and the codes for it.

I mean these dudes have more secret codes than IN-N-OUT has secret ways to prepare a burger.

I wish I'd taken photos of some of it because you'd never believe how intricate the signals can be. I've seen stuff like:

"want a BJ? walk to the video games. scratch your head twice."

"need sex. stand under the payphone sign and tap your foot three times. i'm in the parking lot".

"big dog needs a BeeJ. meet me by Subway. put your right leg against the wall and smoke a cigarette"

I was always tempted to add my own:

"big doggy needs a HeeJ. will give 2 receive. buy a 20 oz. Diet Sunkist. walk outside near Diesel pump 12. empty the entire bottle over your head and tap foot twice. i'll be watching."

"big thick hauler needs a hug. buy me a goddamn chili dog and rub your chin three times then pull your right ear for BJ"

"need someone to speak Latin to me. it turns me on. meet me by the Taco Bell express counter. order a Chalupa with extra spice. i'll be listening"

Well, that's all I've got for this one. See ya!

1 comment:

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