25 September 2007

Back from Sephora

So I've just returned from Sephora where I sampled a few new men's fragrances. I can't recall them all but there was certainly a common thread throughout; The 3 M's: Mustard, Medicine and Miso. Yes, Miso!

My boy Issey has let me down. His original L'eau D'issey is untouchable; he took it a step further with the mysterious L'Eau Bleue D'Issey which is now off the shelves - like all good things. Then he started stumbling.

I was not feeling that bastardised L'Eau Bleue d'Issey Eau Fraiche at all. Issey took the wonderful L'Eau Bleue and lathered it in wintergreen medicine; it smells like a dentists office looks. I also found it lame that Issey gave in and did that "Pour Homme Summer 2005"; summer versions of fragrances are such shams; its like repackaging greatest hits albums. Anyway, so now his new L'Eau De Issey Intense smells like mustard; straight up, yellow hot dog mustard seed. Nasty.

That new CK fragrance, "Man", which everyone on the Broadway local will be wearing this winter smells like Wrigley's Doublemint gum; that's the main note. Yawn.

So Issey has his new toilet water called "Issey Intense" and now your boy Ermenegildo Zegna "ZegnaIntenso". God, everyone is so intense this year! Well, where the new Issey Intense smells like mustard, Ermenegildo Zegna's new creation smells like salty Miso soup. That's the main note on that one. And if the smell of fermenting soybeans doesn't have the ladies lining up in size order then I don't know what will.

I smelled Ushers new cologne; it smelled like Stetson basically with a hint of baby powder. Generic & boring. Last minute giftbox at Rite Aid type shit. Nice work, Ush!

I smelled a few others but I don't recall; next time I'll take notes. Overall I was very disappointed with the new men's fragrances.

I found my way over to Banana Republic because I'd been meaning to check out their "Black Walnut" and "Slate" fragrances. Slate was crap but the Black Walnut wasn't bad. It may be making an appearance on my pulse points very soon. The actual store smelled like a wet carpet though; it was quite gross. It sorta smelled like a broken air conditioner or like the first time you turn you car's A/C on after a long winter; in a word: nasty.

And I am so totally over the Body Shop and those fucking oils. Too much mandarin in the monitors! Jesus christ, guys! It smells like I've got my nose up a navel oranges asshole when I walk by. Can't we think of something else by now than hyper-cirtus?!?!

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