25 September 2007

I'm confused


Mary Kate Ashley Olsen. I've always heard it said as if it were one person; one person, three names: Mary Kate Ashley Olsen. There were no commas, pauses or any of the tell-tale signs of a delineation.

But wait, now you're telling me one is Mary Kate and the other is Ashley? So then how come on the opening credits for Full House it shows one kid and says underneath "Mary Kate Ashley Olsen"? Do they have two heads?

I realise when they were little they were even more identical and they interchanged them like four different Mister Ed horses on Full House, never knowing the difference or being able to tell anyway.

So, Mary-Kate-Ashley-Olsen, thats how it will stay in my head. One name, two people, one person, maybe its three people: Mary, Kate and Ashely. Perhaps theres a third sister we don't know about; maybe they're a fucking hologram, who fucking knows; I couldn't separate the two now, its far too late in the game.

And does it really matter? Will one somehow break out and become more of a star than the other? I doubt it. Who could fucking tell anyway? They are homologous; completely indistinguishable from each other. It's a thesis-worthy phenom (take note college kids!)

Mary Kate Ashley Olsen it is. The human ambigram; Hollywood's retarded palindrome.

Big time Velvet Underground fan over here

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hehehehe. Apparently, they're not even identical twins. They are fraternal twins that look a LOT alike. And you know what...They are also very, very rich!