13 September 2007

In the year 2000... Cemusa's New York

2007. Didn't you think we'd be living like the Jetsons by now? Imagine your boy Orwell writing about the mysterious unborn millennia of 1984 in 1949. Not much has changed. Since '84 or '49 for that matter.

OK so we don't have flying cars just yet but we do have new space-aged... bus shelters! All right! Finally! The world has listened!

This may've been the fastest thing to ever happen in this city. These neue intergalactic bus shelters went from prototype to reality in about 6 months. And you wanna know why? Because we didn't pay a goddamn dime for them, thats why. Oh, you thought the city decided it was time for some refurbishing? No no no. The company that built these things paid for it all, a Spanish company named Cemusa.

The 20-year contract (will New York even be here in 20 years?) with Cemusa, Inc. will also furnish 20 new public toilets, replace 330 newsstands and generate roughly $1.4 billion in new revenue for New York over its lifetime.

"For years, New Yorkers have been waiting for new street furniture (we have?), and today, they will finally begin to see the results of this agreement," said Mayor Bloomberg. "Not only will our partnership with Cemusa create 3,300 new bus shelters, 20 new public toilets, and 330 newsstands, it will generate more than $1 billion in revenue for the City."
Who has been complaining about the bus shelters, the homeless?!

The agreement calls for Cemusa to provide New York City with $999 million in cash and $398 million worth of in-kind services, including advertising space on street furniture elements around the world, which will help promote New York City as a tourism destination. Cemusa has assumed responsibility for maintaining the existing bus shelters and has already painted and repaired more than 600 of them. It is also replacing broken and graffiti-covered glass.

How long until New York is called Cemusa's New York? Bloomberg will sell the city like a baseball field, I love it!

Cemusa will continue to add bus shelters, begin to replace City newsstands, and start to build the new public toilets. The majority of the replaced street furniture's components will be recycled. God, this Cemusa can do no wrong. I'm gonna name my fucking first born Cemusa.

sleek new-newsstands! u guys sell astronaut ice cream in there?


Anonymous said...

I run a newsstand that was changed over to a Cemusa structure. I have a cell number of some guy, (no office phone) and he refuses to give me a duplicate key for my nighttime shift. I can't have the key copied in any locksmith in the city because it's a restricted key that is property of Cemusa. The newsstand leaks, to boot, which is bad news since most of my stock is made out of paper. Cemusa is the worst thing to happen to this industry.

Anonymous said...

You need to go public with this shit, man.

I don't understand the key part though. What do you do a baton hand off of the key or something? Maybe he just doesn't trust you with a key you can take home?

Have you complained to Cemusa about the leak? A big conglom like that oughta be able to remedy that, no?

Sucks man. Keep the faith.

Anonymous said...

Screw Cemusa idiots and get your own lock.