"Mixed emotions, buddy. Like Larry Wildman going off a cliff in my new Maserati."

Sure, Tuesday’s Trader Monthly “30 Under 30” party in New York was a hot invite, with over 800 attendees, but one shudders at the length Timothy Sykes, up-and-comer turned trading laughingstock, went to try to get in.

Sykes, who was on last year’s “30 Under 30” list, tried painfully to brand himself as a financial expert and bon vivant, while his small hedge fund began losing money with uncanny monthly regularity.

de Gawker: Tim Sykes, the the butler-having star of 'Wall Street Warriors', has fallen on some very hard times. He says that, due to investment in illiquid stocks, he is "unable to raise any money, unable to take any trading risk so all I can do is take advantage of my publicity efforts and turn that into my new career."

Sykes is now a reporter for TheStreet.com and he does some ish with MSN Money.

Behold the Timothy Sykes grovel chain: This all comes from Tim's email correspondence with Trader Monthly who banned him from their big party this week.

In return, he offered them five great reasons why he should be reinvited! You see, he's now a financial expert in the media—even though his hedge fund bit it!

Once again, alllllll abooooaaaardd the Timothy Sykes grovel train:

"1. Rachel and I talked / emailed last week about me coming and she was fine with it,so I made plans to meet up with nearly a dozen friends. Some of these people I haven't seen in a very long time and we've been talking all weekend about what we'll do after the party. For me to bail on them at the last second would be extremely rude.

2. I will have no cameras and will not be covering the party for my new jobs as reporter for TheStreet.com (I'll be starting as a writer in a few weeks) and MSN Money (I am their goto video guy). I'll be low-key, really.

3. I invited 2 female friends who went out and bought new dresses for this event. I don't know how to explain it to them that I can't attend with them.

4. While you guys seem to think 'I've made a mockery of the list' with my eccentric behavior, other media outlets now recognize me as a finance expert / personality. Sure I have an ego, but my position is backed by CNBC (7 appearances since the beginning of the year), CNN (I debated greed with the most powerful religious leaders last month), FOX (I was on Cavuto on July 4th), Oprah and Friends Radio (they loved my book and are having me on in a few weeks), Young Money (I will be their cover story for their October issue, Penthouse (I will have a feature story in their Christmas issue), and Wiley (they offered me a $35k advance for my book).

5. You guys are took a pretty good shot at me in this latest issue so even if you really believe I somehow embarrassed you last year, I consider us even. "