This is so weird because I actually had Snakes On A Plane on last night for background stimulation as I teabagged myself.
Little Nadege Brunacci, owner of Pit Stop in Brooklyn, found a goddamn python in her toilet last night... and she actually peed on the poor thing before she realised it was there!
While washing her hands, she glanced back at the toilet to find a 7-foot-long python staring back at her. "I turned on the light and screamed, 'Oh, my God!'" said the hiss-sterical restaurateur. "It still makes my heart race."
She slammed down the lid, put a heavy box on top of it and began calling city agencies.
Most didn't believe her, and the ones that did told her, "We don't do snakes," she said. Finally, the FDNY and her landlord came to the rescue. Where's Schneider when you need him?!
Brunacci sent out an email explaining the incident (in her own special French way) to her friends, saying:
"monday night after 2...3.... beers i did need to go 'pipi' did not put the light on .....i was in mi hom....got up and don't know whi look back in the toilette....this is what was in my toilette (pictured). i did 'pipi" on a python."
The slithery creature was saved from a suffocating fate when a plumber came in to cut open the bottom of the toilet -- where they found the 7 FOOT python curled up in the pipes. The snake is alive and well and adjusting to his new home on Tiffany Place in Cobble Hill.