29 October 2007

When did "one size fits ALL" become
"one size fits most"?

When did "one size fits all" become "one size fits most"? I'm assuming it was 'round the same time as the dawn of 3 liter "Thirst Busters" and "Super Size" options on everything. My personal favourite was Burger King's version of super-sizing. BK coined the hysterical, albeit grammatically incorrect, "Go Large" and "Go King" commands.

Did someone sue to have that term changed to "one size fits most"? If that isn't a perfect 2007 lawsuit I dunno what it is. Some fat dude in a K-Mart tries on a "one size fits ALL" crew neck Garfield sweatshirt and it doesn't fit him, so he hooks up with an attorney and sues. Ain't that America. Was that the America my boy John Cougatz was talking about?

I'm not about to get all Morgan Spurlock or Eric Schlosser on you or anything but have any of you ever been able to fit into an article of clothing sold at Banana Republic? Because I haven't.

As a man of larger carriage, I recognise things that others may not. Such as:

What's the deal with the psychology of sizing? Is it some sort of feel-good trick to fuck with your self-esteem?

For instance: when some stores boast of a big upcoming sale the night before they'll have clerks work overtime to hike up all the price tags so in the morning you'll think you're getting 50% off an item, and you will be, however it'll be 50% off the new jacked up price which normally ends up being the same price before the sale. It's admittedly evil genius!

And so some stores do the same evil genius shit with the cuts of their cloth. In certain outlets you'll swim in their XL while in other stores you won't even be able to fit one ham hock through! So naturally, those of larger carriage, may prefer to shop in the stores where they slide into XL's when normally they'll rock XXL or XXXXXXXXL's or whathaveyou.

Ah, whatever. I really have no point here. I just felt like wondering aloud "when did "one size fits all" become "one size fits most"?

I'll end with a Minutemen quote; from a fellow man of larger carriage: D.Boon

"Let the products sell themselves
fuck advertising and commercial psychology
psychological methods to sell should be destroyed
because of their own blind involvement
in their own conditioned closed minds
the unit bonded together
let yourself be heard"

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