26 November 2007

Early Morning Dish

So I guess Janeane Garofalo lives on the same block as Barbara Bush, one of George W.'s daughters. So while on the Bill Maher show, Garofalo announced "Barbara lives on my street" and now there are uniformed & undercover Secret Service agents all over the place. I'm hearing Garofalo did in fact thank the newly stationed agents for stopping drunk NYU students from fighting outside her window all night. Oh, Janeane.

Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely... Will anyone have the stones to publish a tell-all about Oprah? A disgruntled former Harpo employee is vigorously shopping a tell-all exposé which I'm betting no publisher in their right mind will go anywhere near thanks to Oprah's stupid book club cult. God, publishers are such pussies. Maybe it's time this country dethroned the mighty Oprah? I mean should anyone have this much power?! Last time someone had this much power over peoples minds, the FBI and the ATF burned the compound to the ground. Tell me Oprah is not the carte blanche leader of some ethereal cult; it reminds me of the christian right. I wish some upstart publisher would muster the gumption and publish this story under the guise of "full disclosure" and "free speech" and all that good shit. A disgruntled Harpo employee wants to tell his story, why shouldn't he? Why shouldn't we hear the evil that Oprah does behind closed doors? I think we as Americans can handle it, no? The guy shopping the book, Keifer Bonvillain (Keith the Good Villain, how fitting) touts himself as a Louisiana-born "civil-rights activist," has launched a website in a bid to get a publisher for his exposé, titled "Ruthless". Keith the Good Villain vows to disclose that Harpo may have been involved in "blatant discrimination . . . This CEO not only knows about these practices . . . she condones them . . . Hours of taped conversations . . . reveal what they don't want the public to know about Oprah's private life, and a business that prides itself on its diversity." Where's Stedman?! Bonvillain pitch reads:

"An office manager at Harpo broke his silence and his confidentiality agreement when he spoke freely about Oprah Winfrey's private life and business affairs. Keifer Bonvillain underestimated one of the world's most powerful women when he, armed with clandestinely recorded tapes, decided to write a 'tell-all' book unmasking the famed celebrity. Within days of Harpo learning about the book, two men were attempting to break into Keifer's home - presumably to get the tapes (O.J. much?). Oprah was desperate to keep the truth from being revealed . . . The fallout was Keifer's highly publicized arrest."
Page Six has a little more on topic but it's a kiss-ass / don't fuck with Oprah / The Post loves you / besmirch Bonvillain piece. God, what absolute pussies!!! It's unbelievable. This is stupid fuckin' Oprah, the billionaire Queen of daytime kvetch-shows, not John Gotti and The Gambino Crime Family!

In other news, Seinfeld even went to Israel to promote his damn cartoon movie. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Enough is enough, Jer.

And lastly, The Jesus & Mary Chain is working on a new album.

No comments: