07 December 2007

Amy Winehouse: Complete and Utter Mezz

In architecture, a mezzanine is an intermediate floor between main floors of a building, and therefore typically not counted among the overall floors. Often, a mezzanine has low ceilings and projects in the form of a balcony. The term is also used for the lowest balcony in a theatre, or for the first few rows of seats in that balcony.

In stadiums, the "mezzanine" level is a term often used for premium or "club level" seating, typically just a few rows deep and hanging from the upper tier, affording an unobstructed view of the playing field.

In the Urban Dictionary, a "mezz" is a person whose life has fallen into disrepair. Or one who is suffering the effects of intoxicating substances, perhaps on a prolonged basis. A mezz can also be an overly clumsy person who seems to have no control over his/her body.

So the other day as I was perusing the secret portals I peruse to keep this blog up to snuff, I stumbled upon a bunch of pics of Amy Winehouse. And soon I realised they were all from the same day.

The paparazzi in London managed to document her entire night. From her leaving her house, to her coming home. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I just think Amy has become a true mezz.

Here we see Amy leaving her flat through that famous black gate. She's carrying a J. Lindeberg bag, a Swedish clothing company, and she must have her boobs taped up or something. Amy was never this busty, baby. Feelin' those cheap plastic baby blue Rosarys though. HOLLA.

OK, then later we see Mezz taking her pants off in the back of a limo and doing lines. But the lines look fake; no way she walked out with her nose like that, but, whatever. She looks Diamanda here so, we'll give her a pass. Dunno what ever happened to that J. Lindeberg tote. Perhaps it was filled with bad coke?

And finally, Sweet Amy returns to her flat but it seems she's forgotten her keys (probably left them in the loo). Thankfully Amy's on crack and skinny enough to slither underneath the gate like a rat. Gross. C'mon, Amy.

Dlisted.com has pics of Mezz Amy on the hunt for candy, wine and crisps at a rest stop on her way to visit her stupid husband at the greybar hotel.

Meanwhile, Amy was nominated for six Grammy Awards. Are we just about done with "The Grammys"? Could they be any more irrelevant?

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