Four-Legged Creatures And Clementines

The other day I'd bought a box of clementines. You know the ones that come in that rustic little crate they sell at the supermarché? Yeah, those. I ate them all in about 24 hours because they were delicious, easy to peel and I was feeling ill. Like, you know, a cold.

Well, I must've been out back behind my house walking my dog through the rusty waterlogged leaves and eating a clementine at the same time when I accidentally dropped a partially peeled clementine onto the ground by a tree. No big deal. I figured it was a nice freebie for some furry Brooklyn fauna.

This was about a week ago and the darling clementine is still there. Orange as ever, still partially peeled, laying on its side like Humpty Dumpty of the citrus world.

Thing is, I know back behind my house there are feral cats, raccoons, squirrels, skunks and birds and none of these critters has touched said clementine!

So, where's the beef? If us humans savour a sweet and tart, easy to peel clementine surely the four-legged critters would too, right?

Well, I guess not.

I recall offering my dog a wedge from an orange before and she usually just nudges it with her paw, or gums it like an old lady with no teeth and then drops it on the kitchen floor like a salty slug for me to clean up. Thanks, babe.

But what self-respecting omnivorous mammal would resist a goddamn fresh clementine? I'd already started peeling it for them, too!

Our cute little backyard scavengers are becoming actual snobs! Maybe I need to start accidentally dropping truffles and lobster back there.