20 December 2007

Last Chance For Skunk Weed

That's right, folks. Washington Square Park and the arch, one of our city's better known landmarks, is getting a nose job.

City officials said a Dec 3rd decision by a justice in State Supreme Court in Manhattan has cleared the way for the renovation of Washington Square Park to finally begin.

The work, including moving the park’s fountain and decreasing the size of the plaza, had been challenged by neighbourhood and environmental groups since the start.

But Supreme Court Justice Joan A. Madden found that the city had taken steps to ensure that the work would not significantly "damage the environment."

Uh, have these 'neighbourhood and environmental groups' walked through Washington Square in the past, oh, 25 years or so?

Anyway, the renovation is expected to begin by year’s end. The removal of the fountain alone will cost about a half million.

A maudlin open letter sent out by the "Open Washington Square Park Coalition" reads:

“It is with frustration and remorse that I write to inform you of a memorial service for the spirit of Washington Square Park.

I join with other members of our community who have expressed great concern that our beloved Park's unique central plaza, at the heart of the Greenwich Village Community, is about to be demolished and transformed.

this guy has a tattoo on his ass that says "Why live without an audience?"

Thanks to these elected officials, we will have two to four years of construction fences for redesign, instead of repairs. The fountain will be moved and reborn as an inaccessible, ornamental fountain, the central plaza will be brought to street level grade, and the gathering space at the park's center will be shrunken by more than 20%. ”

Oh no! What will happen to all those wonderful street entertainers the tourists seem to love so? The homeless guy who dances on one leg in the middle of the fountain in the summer? Or the guy with the ghetto blaster? Or the Hare Krsna hackysack festival? Or the guy with the snake? And all the skunk weed dealers!!! What of them, then?

Dysentery, much?

I think we should erect a giant statue of Laurence Alan Tisch and Izzy Young in the middle of the park that pigeons can shit on and EDP's can talk to.

Hang in there, bro

** Fun Fact: Before becoming a park Washington Square was a burial ground for a synagogue, an African Methodist church, Revolutionary War and War of 1812 Veterans, not to mention poor people from the state prison on Gansevoort Peninsula and the Alms House by City Hall. Over 20,000 bodies are buried anywhere from 8-13 feet below the surface of the park. **

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am RILLY gagging by that picture of the girl sipping. However, it has to be better than Bret Michael's hot tub. holy hot swirling pool of STD's, Batman. I sincerely hope you plan on liveblogging the Jan.13th premier of Rock of Love 2, though. I'm just sayin's all.