14 December 2007

Ripped From The Headlines: Dan Le Sac, Kim Deal, Mom Jeans, Ghostface Killah and more! Well, not really.

“Thou shalt not steal if there is direct victim.
Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets.
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Decker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barret in vain.
Thou shalt not think that any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a paedophile - some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME.
Thall shalt not stop liking a band just because they’ve become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by it’s cover.
Thou shalt not judge Lethal
Weapon by Danny Glover.
Thall shalt not buy Coca-Cola products.
Thou shalt not buy Nestle products.
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend’s best friend, take drugs and cheat on him.
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls’ pants - use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyoaks.
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave before it’s done just because you’ve finished your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out, just ’cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied but you’re never gonna fucking talk to.
Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.
The Beatle - were just a band.
Led Zepplin - just a band.
The Beach Boys - just a band.
The Sex Pistols - just a band.
The Clash - just a band.
Crass - just a band.
Minor Threat - just a band.
The Cure - just a band.
The Smiths - just a band.
Nirvana - just a band.
The Pixies - just a band.
Oasis - just a band.
Radiohead - just a band.
Bloc Party - just a band.
The Arctic Monkeys - just a band.
The Next Big Thing - just a band.
Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-English speaking countries as to those that occur in English speaking countries.
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music.
Thou shalt not pimp my ride.
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
When I say “Hey” thou shalt not say “Ho”.
When I say “Hip” thou shalt not say “Hop”.
When I say, he say, she say, we say, make some noise … kill me.
Thou shalt not quote me happy.
Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.
Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me.
Thou shalt spell the word “Pheonix” P-H-E-O-N-I-X not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Bradley at a club last night by saying, “Izzit”.
Thou shalt think for yourselves.
And thou shalt always …
Thou shalt always … kill!
Motherfuckin’ Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip are playing The Mercury Lounge tonight for $10. What's your excuse?

Oh, and...

Are Mom Jeans hip now? Did I miss this memo?

Here we see whats-her-face Eleanor Friedberger from Fiery Furnaces at The Music Hall of Williamsburg rocking a sweet pair of vintage Mom Jeans. She must love that 9 inch zipper! Is she smuggling surfboards?


The other night I was packing a tight bowl with Kim Deal (Pixies/Breeders) and we was talking about the new Breeders’ new album “Mountain Battles”, but she didn’t shy away from talk of a new Pixies record: She says there won’t be one (with her on bass, at least). “Helllll no,” she says. “Because I don’t want to.” HOLLA!

And lastly...

I came across a hilarious excerpt from Ghostface Killah: The World According To Pretty Toney. Here Pretty Toney discusses the hygiene crisis within the rap community.


Anonymous said...

GfK's heartfelt plea for good bathroom habits had me laughing ALL DAY LONG at work today. Thank you for digging up this jewel. You're the greatest, Justy.

Anonymous said...

did you go see Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip tonight? GOD, I ENVY YOU IF YOU FUCKING DID! I'm gonna be SO pissed if you did. I'm so pissed that I wasn't. JLB, you better let a nigga KNOW if you were there. I'm pissed. Fuck.