09 July 2007

voy·eur(voi-yûr) - noun : One who voys

with portions from Gothamist:

Whether you're a fan of the reality genre or not, voyeurism has injected itself into every form of entertainment since shows like The Real World gave anyone with cable a chance to see the day-to-day lives of total strangers.

The Times now reports on performance artist Lián Amaris Sifuentes and her “Fashionably Late for the Relationship” piece which recently lasted 72-hours and will soon be compressed in to a 72-minute film which shows her preparing for a date.

At the the southeast corner of Union Square, Sifuentes' goal was to garner "attention to the private feminine ritual not only by performing it in full view of the Manhattan public, but also by performing it deliberately."

In her preparation she looked in the mirror, took a disco nap, tried on dresses, drank some wine...all slowed down to a pace that would make the average woman seem to get ready in a flash.

While the live performance prolonged each step (drinking the glass of wine took seven hours), the film will show her getting ready at a normal speed (with passerby going so fast they'll seem like a blur).

Since the performance was being filmed in such a high traffic area, there are sure to be plenty of those blurry extras:

Generally people stayed clear, whether out of courtesy or affected indifference. It didn’t help that in Union Square on Saturday
“Fashionably” was competing for attention with the usual drum circles, art vendors, “Free Palestine” people, “Free Hugs” people, skateboarders and the farmers’ market.

Mr. DuBois, who had not anticipated such a big, intimidating production, was a little frustrated, knowing that spectators lingering in front of the camera both would make a more interesting effect in the film and be good for the performance. Production assistants encouraged people to walk through.

Of course, many asked questions as they passed through, such as "when is she going to strip?" while others just had some directorial advice. Maybe they should have left a tip jar, because if you've ever wondered how much something like this would cost to do, the final budget was around $45K, which they narrowed down from $100K with a little help from friends and volunteers.

This reminds me of a "What if / Would you?" scenario I often ponder and pose to others:

What if all your bills and rent all that garbage were paid; you were given a furnished apartment to live in with all the fancy furniture and whatever accoutrements your little heart desired... except you had to live on Broadway in Manhattan, street-level with sidewalk to ceiling glass windows, like a fishbowl. No privacy whatsoever, save for when you had to use the lavatory. Otherwise your every move would be on display; sleeping, cooking, watching TV, lounging, on the computer, late at night, all hours... Would you do it? Could you?

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Dude robs bank dressed as a tree

Woops! I heard about this early this morning but I totally forgot to post it...

Some dude robbed a New Hampshire bank dressed as a tree. As you can imagine the effete media is having an orgasm with this and the puns are flowing like the canals of Venice.

"Leaf it to New Hampshire, where a bank branch was held up by a man disguised as a tree." RIM-SHOT! Try the veal! Tip your bartenders!

Just as the Citizen Bank branch opened Saturday morning, a man walked in with green leaves duct-taped to his head and torso, and robbed the place.

Although the branches and leaves obscured much of the man's face, someone who saw images from the bank's security camera recognized the robber and called police.

Cops said James Coldwell, 49, was arrested early Sunday at his Manchester home and charged with robbery. Arraignment was not expected until Monday.

Amazing.

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Mariah the Sasquatch?

Found this pic on TMZ...

Mariah Carey playing the fool on Roberto Cavalli's yacht in Salerno this Friday with a friend.

And how Fing tall is Mariah? 6'5''? Goddamn! She's taller than Regina Spektor!

But yo, who's Mimi's friend?! HOLLA AT YOUR BOY

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  • Bomb Threat Made Against Staten Island Ferry

  • Intense Manhunt after 2 NYC Policemen Shot

  • A man was struck by the R train at the Times Square Station today at around noon

  • Five Shot at Englewood Wedding Party... Englewood always up to no good...

  • Congressional analysts say the boost in troop levels in Iraq and Afghanistan has increased the cost of war to $12 billion a month, and the total for Iraq alone is nearing a half-trillion dollars.

  • The annual trampling of the total fucking morons in Pamplona

    Hahahaha! You suck!



    Hahaha! Get fucked!


    Kill all humans!!!

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Random Drug Spotlight: Amitriptyline

I think we need more bells and whistles on this here blog; like those corny morning zoo radio shows have Phony Phone Call Mondays, Tell Off Your Boss Tuesdays and Wacky Wednesdays and ish like that. We need some more recurring fixtures.

In a former life I was a chemist. I had a bevvy of round-bottom flasks and ran a small-town apothecary just outside of Dundee, Scotland. My trusty scientist smock was always pristine snow white and impeccably starched by my wife, Heidi Gloomandsun.

In addition to pharmacy we also offered general medical advice and a range of other services such as surgery and midwifery. We also sold tobacco and patent medicines or over-the-counter remedies.

So, a new fixture of this blog is doing to be the Random Drug Spotlight. I'll pick a random drug from the hurricane that is my mind and I'll tell you about it; what it does; what it helps cure; the side effects and so on; I'll even provide you with the IUPAC nomenclature whenever possible.

Today we're going to take a look at:

Amitriptyline (or Amitryptyline) hydrochloride!!!

Sold as: Elavil, Tryptanol, Endep, Elatrol, Tryptizol, Trepiline or Laroxyl

Amitriptyline is tricyclic antidepressant drug {tricyclic refers to the drugs' molecular structure, which contains three rings of atoms}. It is a white, odorless but tastes like licorice - GROSS! It's a crystalline compound which is freely soluble in water; it is usually dispensed in tasteless tablet form.

Amitriptyline inhibits serotonin {i} and noradrenaline {ii} reuptake almost equally.


Amitriptyline is approved for the treatment of endogenous depression and involutional melancholia (depression of late life, which is no longer seen as a disease in its own right). It may also be used to treat nocturnal enuresis a/k/a bed wetting. It is mainly prescribed to the elderly and adolescents.

Many drugs have unapproved/Off-Label and other investigational uses; especially antidepressants as many are prescribed for their unapproved side effects.

Amitriptyline may be prescribed for other conditions such as insomnia, migraines, chronic pain, irritable bowel syndrome, neurological pain, and painful paresthesias related to multiple sclerosis and as a preventative (prophylaxis) for patients with frequent migraines.

It is also used in small doses to act as a painkiller and ease the effects of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Typically lower dosages are required for pain modification of 10 to 50 mg daily.

Common side effects of using amitriptyline are weight loss or gain, drowsiness, nervousness, and dizziness insomnia. Some rare side effects include tinnitus, hypotension, mania, psychosis, anticholinergic effects, heart block, arrhythmias, extrapyramidal symptoms, more depression, and hepatic toxicity.


So next time you're at the pub with your mates and the topic of amitriptyline comes up, you'll be frighteningly well versed.

****
{i}Serotonin is believed to play an important role in the regulation of anger, aggression, body temperature, mood, sleep, sexuality and appetite.

{ii}Noradrenaline is naturally released in the central nervous system where it helps control alertness and arousal. It is released when a host of physiological changes are activated by a stressful event. This is caused in part by activation of an area of the brain stem called the locus ceruleus. As a stress hormone, noradrenaline affects parts of the human brain where attention and responding actions are controlled. It underlies the fight-or-flight response, directly increasing heart rate, triggering the release of glucose from energy stores, and increasing skeletal muscle readiness. Got it ?

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After 18 years Dan Patrick is leaving ESPN.
That's all we know right now so F off.

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Sly Stone on NPR!? Well, not quite but close enough...

Vanity Fair writer David Kamp recently interviewed Stone breaking 25 years of Sly silence.

Kamp talks John Schaefer about Stone’s comeback and legacy. It's like a game of telephone.

Listen Live, Tmrw on Soundcheck @ 2pm, 93.9 FM

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Another awesome site. I love ish like this. Thanks to Double R for the tip! www.moviemistakes.com/

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Just in time for the heatwave... a new hipster hoodie company! Remind me in the fall, fellas. I'll take a Dean Martin.

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Sui generis, mofos!

"Well, I wake in the morning, fold my hands and pray for rain. I got a head full of ideas that are drivin' me insane."

Once and awhile I'll come up with an idea for an invention. I actually met with a patent lawyer about a few of these but I figured let me log them all down so you can steal them from me if you wish but also so that I can prove I thought of it first. Why not. Chances are I'll never get around to actually seeing these things to fruition anyway.

Those invention "hotlines" crack me up. I always envision some rube calling up with a brilliant idea and the operator going "Ok, thank you" and hanging up on them and stealing their idea. At least that's what I would do with an "idea hotline".

  1. The Knock-On Wood Key chain©: We could sell this item at places like Spencer's Gifts. This caters to the obsessive compulsive, the superstitious and those interested in becoming obsessive, compulsive and superstitious. So the next time someone at a party laughs heartily and carelessly exalts "Who me? I've never been sick" you can give them a "tsk tsk" and hand them your key chain. You'll be the life of the party and the envy of your friends. This one is a sure bet. Will make a great stocking stuffer.

  2. The Mastication Diet©: We'll definitely have to fluff it up a bit and rename it the Water Mill Fast or the Wainscott Way or something Hamptons related and maybe find a C-list celeb to get behind it. It's basically a diet where you eat whatever the F you want but you just never swallow. All the joy of food is in the taste, the chewing, etc. The act of swallowing your food is not pleasurable, its simply a function and the forward process of mastication. Once you swallow your food, the experience is over, the taste is gone, SO just spit it out and keep eating. Now, this isn't going to be a pretty diet but theres a tie-in for we can market fancy designer feed-bags. Get Gucci and D&G in on it. So when you chew up that steak or salmon or whatever, you can spit it out into a handy, fancy and expensive designer tote. This diet makes 1000000% sense, its just ugly and involves chewing and then spitting out your food, something we learned was gross when we were like 3 years old. So we need to unlearn that ish. A good celeb endorsement can make people unlearn and rethink anything. I'm telling you, this idea is a hit. Get a doctor to write a book about it, it'll be a best-seller guaranteed and it'll go paperback in like two months, tops. Trust me. If people bought the whole Atkins thing, they'll buy this fad for sure.

  3. Adjustable Baby Shoes©: You know how little babies feet be growing mad quick, right? So I'm designing a shoe that you buy once that will last you until the kid is 2 or 3 years old. It will involve a rubber sole and some Velcro and as the kid grows out of the shoes, you just put a new cover on the sole instead of buying new pairs of shoes every 2 weeks. Sort of like a Barbie doll with all her outfits you can change around and adjust. I'm still drawing out the schematics, but this idea is gonna blow the roof off the baby industry. You just watch.

  4. Wireless power©: Yes, I realise we've got batteries but not everything takes batteries. Say you've got a big floor lamp that you wanna put on one side of a room but you don't wanna have extension cords all over the place. BAM! You need wireless power! Plug the lamp's power cord into a tiny radio receiver which sends a signal to a main wireless sender box which is plugged into a wall outlet. It's basically like WiFi for your appliances or whatever. You wanna move your 600'' plasma TV to the other side of the room but theres no outlet there? Fear not. Extension chords are for the 90's. Wireless power is the future!!!!!!!!!!!!! God, I am good.

  5. Trunk Refrigerator©: I actually stole this idea from my best friend but she doesn't mind. This idea is actually brilliant and Dodge sort of stole it for their 2007 Dodge Caliber with its glove compartment cooler system. But her idea was for the trunk. Say you bought some ice cream or something perishable but you don't feel like running home to throw it in your freezer... fear not! The trunk refrigerator is here. I envision the trunk to be lined with that silver stuff in those padded lunch bag things. There's a switch on the dashboard. Load your groceries in the trunk and drive around for 8 hours if you want, it'll all stay cool in the back with your Trusty Trunk Refrigerator. We can use the same AC lines that cool the car, just send a pipe to the trunk. This idea is brilliant and perfect for soccer moms on the run!

So, yeah. If anyone out there is a patent agent or attorney get in touch and we'll do lunch. I actually have patents pending on a few of these ideas so in reality, you can't steal them from me without retaliation from my battalion of starving lawyers with overdue car payments but I thought I'd be nice and share with the class today.

Sui generis, mofos!

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Dogs

Did you know the band Three Dog Night took its name from the supposed Aboriginal practice of judging the coldness of an evening by the number of dogs required to keep warm? Seems people have been sleeping with their pets in bed for a million years.

I always wonder what my dog does when she's home alone. I assume, and I'm pretty certain, she just sleeps the day away; but still I wonder. I wonder if she wonders what I do, too.

It's like when you were a kid and you closed the door of the fridge; you always wondered if that light went out. What happened when that door closed? You really had no idea. And then all the cartoons put it into your head that when you closed the door your ketchup had a party with the pickles and the mustard hung out with the soda and the waffles. My favourite Tom & Jerry episode is when the floor is flooded and it freezes and their ice skating and playing with all the Thanksgiving trimmins.

So anyway, a recent Washington Post interview with a dog trainer stated that a dog in bed is "a sign the dog is completely in charge. Get the dog off your bed. It can make a bigger difference than anyone can imagine." Oh, baloney! Life is too short for that crap. I love my dog, so she sleeps in my bed. I'm not worried about my dog taking over my house and moving my paintings and furniture to her liking.

How To Be Your Dog's Best Friend, the dog obedience manual by the Monks of New Skete
(Monks? with dogs? on a plane?!), advises letting your dog sleep on the floor in your bedroom, but never in your bed. A dog trying to get too intimate should receive "slapped paws and a shove off"—not wholly surprising advice from celibate trainers. I hope one of those dogs smacks a monk back one day.

Dr. Marsha Reich (now thats a hard name), who has a private animal-behaviour practice in Maryland (she must be rich), says she disagrees with the notion that your dog will try to dominate you if allowed in bed. "It is just fine to sleep with them. Pets are not going to get any uppity ideas just because you're all snoring together." HOLLA, MARSHA!

"Your dog will not try to dominate you if allowed in bed. It has nothing to do with social status," she says. "The dog, like the owner, just likes being cozy and having a soft place to sleep."

"Unless a dog growls when you roll over, I don't have a problem with a dog in the bed." Mine does this and I happen to think its adorable and one of the best parts of having a dog in my bed.

Dr. Nicholas Dodman, author of If Only They Could Speak (nawww) and director of the Animal Behavior Clinic at Tufts University School of Veterinary Medicine, celebrates the "warm and fuzzy feeling" of all species curling up in bed together as well.

I didn't intend on this entry being about sleeping with dogs, it just sorta happened. I wanted to warmly identify with the reader and talk about how tired I was and how I'm on my 700th cup of Flavia Italian Roast Strength #5 labouring my way through this Monday.

That's all for now

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Oh, Amy



Miss Amy Winehouse was spotted at the Grand Union Bar in London's Camden Town on Saturday night. That’s the same night she canceled her most recent performance. HAHAHA!

Oh and here's a wonderful pic of wonderful Amy having a wonderful breakfast.

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Oh, Katie

Katie is having second thoughts about leaving the Today Show for the CBS Evening News gig. I think her second thoughts are coming a bit late.

Couric admitted to New York Magazine that there are days when she wishes she hadn't made the move to CBS.

"I have days when I'm like, Oh my God, what did I do? People are very unforgiving and very resistant to change and the biggest mistake we made is we tried new things."
Katie says the move to CBS would have been less appealing if she had known she'd be doing the more traditional "CBS Evening News" broadcast that she anchors now. Under new executive producer Rick Kaplan, the "CBS Evening News" is a more traditional hard-news evening newscast in the mold of its predecessors and competitors.

Poor Katie's evening newscast's ratings are deep in third place, and CBS has rolled back some of the changes it made last fall to shake up the format. Couric conducts fewer interviews, an outside opinion segment was scrapped and the anchor admits she's even dressing down a little to give her critics less ammunition. Oh, Katie.

She says if she had known all this would happen, the job "would have been less appealing to me. It would have required a lot more thought."

A thriftier corporate culture at CBS and colleagues who backbite anonymously in the media surprised her, she said. She also said she underestimated the feeling people would not consider her a credible news person because of her work on NBC's "Today" show, even though she thinks it's "patently unfair."

I feel you, sister. But I love me some Brian Williams.

Meanwhile, back at the base...

Katie is now being accused of slapping an editor -- after he injected a word she detested into a script!

"During the tuberculosis story in June, Couric got angry with news editor Jerry Cipriano for using a word she detested— 'sputum' —and the staff grew tense when she began slapping him 'over and over and over again' on the arm, according to a source familiar with the scene. It had seemed like a joke at first, but it quickly became clear that she wasn’t kidding."

"The stress has caused her to blow up at her staff for small infractions on the set," charges NEW YORK magazine reporter Joe Hagan, in a story set for publication on Monday.

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James Hetfield Held at Airport for 'Taliban' Beard

Metallica's James Hetfield was investigated by UK airport officials who believed he was a terrorist.

The star was barred entry to Luton airport last week and questioned by staff who were concerned about his appearance and the snare sound on "St.Anger". Fears that Hetfield might be involved in terrorism were apparently founded on his "Taliban-like beard", according to The Times.

He was allowed to leave the airport after a brief interrogation, when he persuaded officials that he was a "rock star". I would've loved to have heard that brilliant exchange.

Metallica played Live Earth at Wembley Stadium in London Saturday, before headlining the venue for their own show the following evening.

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Tonz 'o' Gunz

  1. Two cops shot in Crown Heights... The incident occurred at 2:30 AM when the two officers pulled over a black BMW SUV that had license plates belonging to another car. As the cops approached the SUV, someone inside it started shooting wildly. 23-year old Officer Russell Timoshenko was shot in the face and neck and is in extremely critical condition and 26-year old Officer Herman Yan was shot in the chest and left forearm. Yan is in stable condition and expected to live thanx to his bullet-proof vest. A security video near the scene captured the shooting; another video showed three men, believed to be the suspects, ducking into a driveway after seeing a patrol car approach. Police found the SUV abandoned near the shooting scene. Inside it were .45-caliber shell casings. The SUV had been stolen from a Long Island dealership. As you can imagine, an intense manhunt is underway for the 3 assholes.

  2. The 39-year-old owner of a Bronx moving company was found shot to death at his office. Police say Angel Ortega's wife found him yesterday at his Jiffy Moving Company on Light Street. They say he had been shot once in the leg and once in the chest. He was pronounced dead at the scene. Cops are having trouble finding witnesses because that area is primarily industrial and deserted.

  3. Manhattan... A 13-year-old girl was shot in the thigh Sunday morning while bending over on the street to tie her shoelaces. Police assume it was a stray bullet and are looking for witnesses.

  4. Two people shot to death at 8011 Avenue K in Brooklyn around 9:30 PM last night... The first victim, a 35-year-old female was shot three times, and was pronounced dead at the scene. The second, a male who's age has not been determined, was also shot three times. He was taken to Brookdale Hospital where he later was pronounced dead. Cops wanna talk to the woman's ex-boyfriend about the incident.

Maybe the proposed London-style "surveillance web" isn't such a bad idea... Instead of hoping to be able to piece together footage of ish like this from randomly placed security cameras...

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You're my boy, Blue!

A pit bull named Blue was a hero Saturday, as his barking alerted a neighbour to the cries of a young girl who was being molested between two houses on 171st street in Flushing, Queens.

The Daily News writes that a young man had been sitting on the steps of a house, across the street from where the attack would take place, watching a seven-year-old girl and her friend ride their scooters. Around 7:45 p.m., he approached the young girl and asked her if she wanted to see some worms in a backyard. Creep.

NY1 reports that the man just ripped the girl off her scooter and carried her to a backyard. Once between two neighbouring garages, the man pulled down the girl's pants and attempted to molest her as she started screaming for her parents.

Bleu heard the girl's cries and began barking wildly, which brought his owner to the window, where she saw the attack in progress. She ran outside and yelled at the pervert, who escaped by breaking through a fence––presumably not the one with the barking pit bull on the other side of it––while holding up his pants. What a dirty bastard.

Police are looking for a man in his teens or early 20s, with sandy-brown spiky hair. He was wearing blue jeans and a blue t-shirt Friday evening.

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WNYC turns 83

So I went to bed early and now its 2:40 am and I'm blogging. Lame.

WNYC began broadcasting 83 years ago yesterday. Das Gothamist has a little blurb about it with some interesting photos. Interesting if you're a nerd, like me.

I wish there was a printable dartboard with the face of the girl who does those awful overenunciated commercials.

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08 July 2007

Beyoncé is a swagger jacker

Check out Beyoncé ripping off MY GIRL Kylie's stage show.


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This book looks pretty cool.

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Levon Helm has a posse pit bull



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Janet Reno: Hitmaker?

Former U.S. Attorney General and the often lampooned Janet Reno has Parkinsons Disease now and its quite sad. I heard her on NPR and it was an uplifting bum out. Best way I can describe it.

Oddly enough Reno is the mastermind behind an upcoming CD compilation which maps out centuries of American history through the reinterpretation of beloved songs such as "Yankee Doodle Dandy", "Home on the Range" and "Rosie the Riveter"


New versions of 50 American classics — performed by artists ranging from the Blind Boys of Alabama to Devendra Banhart and Martha Wainwright to Harper Simon (Paul's son) — will be featured on "Song of America", a 3-CD set to be released in September.

Reno even made a special trip to the Grammy Awards in '05 to drum up interest in the project, which began as a casual conversation between Reno and her niece's husband, alt-country artist and producer Ed Pettersen — who also contributes a song to the CD set.

Head over to NPR for the full monty avec sound clips...

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Meanwhile...

  • A Queens inventor is selling a eucalyptus-scented trash bags that he's found repel rats and raccoons. They're so effective that most of the 2,000 residential buildings his company sells janitorial supplies to have made the switch, and they are being used in Central Park.


  • Man on Brooklyn Carjacking Spree Killed by the Po-Po... A man who carjacked two vehicles at gunpoint then crashed both of them and threatened EMS people trying to help him was fatally shot by police last night after he pointed and fired his weapon at them. No lucky 7-7-7 for him.

  • A helicopter on a sightseeing tour of Manhattan made an emergency landing in the Hudson River yesterday afternoon, leaving all eight people aboard drenched but not seriously harmed. Lucky 7-7-7 for them. AP has a crappy video of the crash that looks more like a flipbook. Sorry, guys.

  • Former NFL player and Fox Sports broadcaster Bill Maas was charged with drug possession and weapons charges following a roadside safety check. The 45-year-old Maas and a passenger in his Hummer, Sarah J. Murphy, 27, were arrested late Friday by Illinois State Police. During the stop, police indicated Maas seemed nervous, and he agreed to a search of his vehicle. Police found a .22-caliber revolver, 5 grams of cheeba, 6 grams of snow and 28 Ecstasy tabs. Maas and Murphy were charged with possession of a controlled substance and possession of marijuana. Maas was also booked on a charge of unlawful use of a weapon. Holla!

  • I told you... from 1010 WINS: "Everything oldies is new again. WCBS-FM, the nation's No. 1 oldies station for more than three decades until a 2005 switch, is ready to shift from its current "Jack" format and re-embrace the classic sounds of its past, according to online reports." I hope by online reports they don't mean this blog.

  • Police are investigating claims that a pregnant Hasidic woman was attacked with a knife after she accepted a ride from a man who also appeared to be a Hasidic Jew. That is f*cked. I didn't know people still hitchhiked.

  • That tennis match I somehow found myself watching yesterday, Venus Williams won. I guess its her 4th Wimbledon title. I wrote "I guess" to make it sound like I didn't know this and preserve my impeccable street cred.

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New albums from Bad Religion and Interpol hit stores Tuesday.

Do people even go to record stores anymore? I don't know. I plan to, though.

That last Bad Religion record was amazing. You can hear the new one on their MySpace.

And I loved "Antics" so, yeah. Tuesday it is.



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'We would have to plant 100,000 trees to offset the effect of Live Earth'

In a 24-hour music marathon spanning seven continents, everyone from aboriginal elders to famous scientists to country singers called on the world to turn interest in the Live Earth events into environmental activism.

With other shows in London, Sydney, Tokyo, Kyoto, Shanghai, Hamburg, Johannesburg, Rio de Janeiro - and even a performance by a band of scientists at a research station in Antarctica - organizers called Live Earth the biggest musical event ever staged, dwarfing the Live Aid and Live 8 concerts.

Organizers promised that the huge shows were made green by using recycled goods, shuttling some concertgoers from distant parking lots in biodiesel buses and using biofuels for generators.

Critics have faulted the Live Earth concerts for lacking clear-cut, achievable goals, and for lauding rock stars whose jet-setting, high-consumption lifestyles can often send a different, less environmentally friendly message.

  • BBC panics and cuts back to the studio after a bombing Chris Rock curses on stage

  • In a TV interview earlier this week, Matt Bellamy of Muse mocked the event as "private jets for climate change" That's my boy.

  • John Buckley of Carbon Footprint, an organisation that helps companies reduce their carbon dioxide emissions, said Saturday that Live Earth will produce about 74,500 tons of the gas. "We would have to plant 100,000 trees to offset the effect of Live Earth," he said, speaking by telephone. But, he added, "if you can reach 2 billion people and raise awareness, that's pretty fantastic." Indeed.

  • Will the event make a difference after the last burger in biodegradable packaging is eaten and the stage made of recycled oil drums and used tires is packed away? Naturally, Steve Howard, CEO of the Climate Group, a partner in Live Earth, said that it would.

  • 48-yr-old Madonna looked and sounded great writhing around on stage like the good old days. And a little black spandex cameltoe never hurt anyone, right? Certainly, on the way into the show, some of the 65,000 people who'd spent $110 on a ticket appeared unaware of the seven-point pledge that Al Gore, the event's chief impresario, had asked all spectators to make. Asked about it, they offered blank looks and said they were there for Madonna (whose annual carbon footprint is 1,018 tons -- about 92 times the 11 tons an average person uses per year) I simply love this "carbon footprint" term. I'm gonna run with it.

  • Dave Matthews was awful and played some tune where he screams like a frat-banshee.

  • Carson Daly gushed backstage over Keith Urban's opening rendition of "Gimme Shelter" with Alicia Keys. Carson lobbed a softball at Urban with the prompt: "Hey Keith, aren't all your tour buses running biodiesel?" and Keith sort of paused and looked at Carson and said "uh...yeah...yeah they are...but you know its hard touring..." Real smooth, Keith.

  • The beginning montage showed close-ups of all these cute freckle faced kids talking about what they can do to help global yawning but then one of them starts crying talking about how she hopes "her children" will be able to see a "blue sky" someday. Surrrrrre, ok, child actor. No six-year old is worrying about the next generation. They ARE the next generation. Dolts.

  • Lining up at the merch booths selling $40 organic cotton T-shirts proclaiming "Green Is the New Black," Andrea Covic, 26, was also optimistic. "I've come because I'm sympathetic to the message," she said. "Of course I want to see the Beastie Boys." No, totally Andrea, I hear you.

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07 July 2007

Help! I'm watching tennis!

Wimbledon... I've never seen this before. They're being handed mammoth bouquets and walking through this labyrinth that looks like a hospital. This is their "locker room"? Its like Spinal Tap looking for the stage. Now they're putting their bags in a little cubby in the hall like they're boarding a plane. This must be some tradition. Oh, this is very rich, like a fine mousse or maybe a fudge tort. OK, now they're walking out to the court. This is bizarre. Ooh, one of them is Italian I think. Now they're taking pictures at center court. This is so civilised. I need to finish watching Match Point someday. I turned it off when they were making love in the field in the rain.

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I love grapes and my bathroom is haunted

Produce Pete was just on talking about grapes. Mmmmmm I love grapes.

So I've decided the bathroom of my new flat is haunted, but not in the spooky, creepy way, well I guess that all depends on what you consider creepy.

My bathroom seems to be haunted by a fan of glam metal. For every time I'm in there random songs pop into my head. Songs I was never really into even when I was into Poison. These songs seem to come from the tiles and permeate my spongey cerebrum.

Yesterday, you may or may not recall, I had White Lion's "Wait" in my head all day.

This morning I was sitting on the throne, reading about demi-sec's and the Goulburn Valley when suddenly Ugly Kid Joe's "(I Hate) Everything About You" entered my head. "And I, hate the beach and mountains too..." seconds later I was inundated with another tune... the super-passionate and hopeful "Don't Close Your Eyes" by Kix!?! I never even liked Kix or knew a single song by them, so how the F is this song in my head?! I had to Google the lyrics just to figure out who sang the tune! Therefore someone else must have placed this song in my skull.

So, I've decided my bathroom is inhabited by a glam metal ghost. He must've done his hair in there before he went to L'Amour years ago; maybe a few bumps off the sink, who knows.

Come over and tell me what songs you pick up.

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06 July 2007

Art by Corinne Dolle




Showing at the Mary Ryan Gallery 527 West 26th Street through August 3rd. Admission is free. Daily 10a-6p.
212 397 0669................... www.corinnedolle.com

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Beatallica Mania!

This is actually mildly amusing. These guys are like 2007's Mojo Nixon or Dread Zeppelin. A Beatles/Metallica cover band from Wisconsin. Lars actually backs these guys, too.

So get into it this now, fast, before it gets really old, really quick. They're actually playing tmrw night at BB Kings at the Tribute Band Wars XVIII.

Their rendition of Sgt. Hetfields' Motorbreath Pub Band is actually hysterical. Go, listen.

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Holy Batmobile, Batman! The new Koenigsegg CCXR

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MAMMOTH NY RADIO NEWS !!!

There is a wonderful amazing best rumour ever that 101.1 CBS-FM may return to oldies as early as next week. I want to stess that this is not confirmed but I have heard from two reliable sources that there is at least one trade magazine running this story so...

Stay tuned...

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Knut is all grown knup

Buttermere four months ago a cuddle from Knut the baby polar bear was a fluffy nuzzle; these days he's a little more boisterous. And so are his bear hugs. ERF.

The cub that became Berlin Zoo's star attraction after being rejected by his mother is growing up fast.

Keeper Thomas Doerflein, who has been hand-rearing Knut, believes the carefree days of tumbling around with him in his den could soon be over.

"He now sometimes has temper tantrums when he's hungry or when he wants something and doesn't get it," Mr Doerflein said.

"Then he gives me a really good bite. He is, after all, a predator."

Oh, that Knut.

Here he is eating Thomas Doerflein's skull.

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Spitzer vs. Bruno: The Thriller in Manilla

What's with Spitzers psychotic witch hunt on State Senate Majority Leader Joseph Bruno?! He must be bored. The feud has gotten so bad that while Bruno says he will meet with Spitzer any time, he will only do it in public. Personally, I
think Bruno would take Spitzer down. Why are we investigating and spying on each other and trying to pass legislations on mandatory mentions of New Jersey at a time like this? Where are our priorities?!
So yeah, like we wuz saying before why is it that things are hotter in Albany with the Legislative session over? The BEEF betwixt Senate Majority Leader Joseph Bruno and Governor Eliot Spitzer has, as the Sun put it, "reached a new low."

Bruno had a press conference yesterday, saying Spitzer's alleged State Police surveillance on Bruno's activities was "espionage." From the Times Union:

"I've been in government 31 years and I've never experienced anything like this," said Bruno. "I was stunned to learn Governor Spitzer is using the fine men and women of the New York State Police to conduct surveillance on me," Bruno said. "This should send shivers up the spine of every New Yorker."
I'm sorry but I got Bruno's back on this one. Why is Spitzer attacking his own? Did he watch Serpico over the weekend?

Bruno also compared Spitzer to a "Third World dictator." The allegations that Spitzer was asking the State Police to keep records of Bruno's activities stems from yesterday's Post article that had quotes from Spitzer spokesman Darren Dopp saying that Spitzer was doing as much. But then Dopp called the Post story "grossly inaccurate and false," which then led to the Post detailing its exchanges with Dopp.

The state inspector general will now investigate Bruno's claims about Spitzer's spying, which joins these other investigations: The one into whether Bruno used state aircraft for non-state business (not to mention state police escorts) and the one into whether the Times Union extorted Bruno.

Baruch College political science professor Douglas Muzzio told the Daily News, "This is beyond politics. This is war. If you believe Bruno, Spitzer is Nixonian. The governor using the state police to spy on the leader of the opposition? That begins to approach the danger zone." Ooh, and the highway to it !

A Daily News editorial, though, says:
"Clear away the smoke being blown by Senate Majority Leader Joe Bruno over his blatant abuse of taxpayer-funded transportation, and it all boils down to this: He wants to act like a jerk, live like a king - and not be held accountable for any of it."
A Post editorial, though, begs, "A thorough investigation is in order; the sooner it is complete, the sooner Albany can return to its normal state of dysfunction. Indeed, it is with some irony that we note that Spitzer's pledge to 'change Albany' upon becoming governor seems to have been redeemed. It's more bizarre than ever."

BEEF !!!

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Let's Get Critical



Let's be critical and pretend we're perfect. It shouldn't be hard to do. OK? Cool.

Now, lets start from the left. Turquoise shirt, is that a young Zack de la from Hard Response looming in the shadows?

Front row, girl in white tank top with shabby-chic 25lb. Polaroid camera around her neck, is she singing into her cellphone? God, who could she be calling? And may god have mercy on their soul. Wait, is she also giving the devil horns, too?! Wow. This is too much for even me. Let's move on before I lose it.

Now we've got young Ally Sheedy circa The Breakfast Club who'll probably move to France, become a model, find heroin and that'll be that... Heroin Sheedy is followed by wacky Urban Outfitters pink shirt / red stars guy who doesn't look an hour over 16, but uh oh look out! its wacky "I Hate McDonalds" guy with the wacky Burger King crown brim and cat lady glasses leading the charge...

Yeah, what the F are they staring at?! And is that dude with a Goofy nose?

Are they all stomping their principal? Woooooooo teenage riot !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's actually a pic I stumbled upon on Brooklyn Vegan of a furious crowd @ a "Kalamazoo Matt & Kim show" and I'm so happy that I have no idea what that even means. This guy took the photo, u can ask him.

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"This Old House: The heart is a lonely menagerie" an essay by David Sedaris in the New Yorker

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Al Gore behind ferocious heatwave?!


On Thursday, the Californian town of Baker sweltered under temperatures of 125°

Arriving tourists to Las Vegas were greeted by furnace-like temperatures of 117°

Phoenix is roasting nuts in 115° heat.

And as the National Weather Service warned that temperatures in San Diego would reach up to 117° informed sources have told us that Al Gore allegedly employed a guerrilla marketing firm to "make it hot" just in time for his Live Earth concert on Saturday; a 24-hour, 7-continent succession of performances to draw attention to the threat global warming poses to the planet.

Story is developing...

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11:11: The Revenge

I am selectively superstitious. I'll walk under a ladder, almost purposely in cocky quasi-defiance, but I'd rather not have a black cat cross in front of me. Hat on a bed or shoes on a table are two mandatory no-no's in my life, 24-7, never, ever, ever. Also, knocking on wood. Always. There have been times where I'll be having a conversation when something worthy of knocking on wood came up and I've dropped the convo immediately leaving the room to search for something wooden or paper, I swear. It's bordering on hysteria. There are a few other superstitions I have but I won't get into them all now.

When I was younger I thought something awful was going to happen I turned 21. I decided I might die when I turned 21. Reason being that every time I'd count something, it would be 21. I'd count how many steps from here to there: 21. Count in my head silently until a red light turned green: 21, and so on and so on. Suffice to say I've made it past 21 swimmingly, although I did get very sick when I was 22 but that doesn't count because I don't feel like making the case that it does.

So numbers have always been a thing with me. Counting this or that. Words, too. Whenever I see a word I read it backwards almost immediately. I'm not dyslexic, its just an odd thing my mind does on autopilot. If I see a sign and I recognise it says "loot" my brain will instantly tell me "tool" or whatever. It's completely involuntary, it just happens. Maybe my mind is telling me I'm a tool ? Could be.

So, yeah, I'm weird.

Anyway, a few years ago I started seeing 11:11 twice a day, almost everyday. Everything was eleven. It got to a point where I felt like I was looking for it; not to try and will it to be, but just because I knew if I looked, there it would be. It was scary.

I'd dealt with 11:11 before. When I was younger I used to see it a lot, too. In fact, I remember sitting at my Brother word processor clicking away in my journal that I had wanted to stay home with my mom on November 11th because she was off from school and I was secretly worried that something bad was going to befall her. I didn't stay home and she was fine.

But 11:11 and I have quite a history. I've even looked at active but slow/fast clocks and caught them at 11:11. It might actually be 5:30 in the afternoon, I get in someones car, they don't have their radio clock set right but my eyes will catch it when it turns 11:11. That used to freak me out. A few times I'd be in a rest stop, those big trucker ones in the mid-west, and they'd have alarm clocks for sale and the sticker on the package to demonstrate the fake LCD display was 11:11.

11:11 went away for a while, I hadn't been seeing it but the last few days, I've been seeing it again, usually twice a day, morning and night. I wonder why the F that is.

I did some research on it and there's all these lunatics who believe its some sort of symmetrical sign from the gods or whatever. They dress up in white scrubs and dance in circles over it. I guess I'm not much better than them really.

Just type "11:11" into Google and see what I mean.

I wrote up a real long essay on 11:11 a few years ago; I'll try and drudge that up for y'all in case you can't sleep and need something that'll make you drowsy.

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2 Random Thoughts for that azz

  1. Whenever Lou Dobbs says we must "secure our ports" (and he says about once every 3 minutes) it makes me think of Mrs. Paul's fishsticks and molluscs and other nergles of the deep sea. Something about the crunchiness and cadence of his voice coupled with the somewhat archaic sound of someone talking about "securing ports" makes me think of tiny snails and clams and big thick tan twine fishing nets on angry gray seas and those wood carved fisherman figurines in bright yellow raincoats, smoking corn cob pipes behind white beards. Seriously, if Lou Dobbs came on the radio and started talking about scallops and tartar sauce and sh*t, I'd be sold. Instantly.

  2. Is that Jack Handey of Deep Thoughts fame on that new iPhone commercial? Because it sounds exactly like him and I have a startling voice memory index.

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7-7-07 Weddings BARF

7/7/07 occurs only once a century and it happens to fall on a Saturday, um, tomorrow, during a popular month for weddings.

Therefore, as you can imagine, it has created the perfect 'storm of love', according to "wedding professionals".... uhm, is that a PC way to say "people who've been married a lot"?

Thousands of couples around the world will share the day. 38,000+ brides have listed July 7 as their wedding date on TheKnot.com, a clearing house for wedding information. A what?

The Ritz-Carlton in Central Park has the Lucky No. 7 wedding package. For a group of 77, it's offering a seven-bottle champagne toast, a seven-tier wedding cake and seven Tiffany & Co. diamonds for the bride. Room 2007 will be available for the bridal party to get ready in, and afterward, the couple gets a seven-night honeymoon at any Ritz-Carlton hotel - all for $77,777. A seven-day advance payment is required. Too late. And rumour has it no one took them up on this wackariffic package. Oh well.

While many picked the date for superstitious reasons, Kathleen Murray of TheKnot.com said some women also saw a practical reason to get married July 7.

"We've had brides write that their guys have a hard enough time remembering their birthday, much less an anniversary," Murray said. "7/7/07 is easy to remember."

ERF. I hate stereotypical domestic humour almost as much as I hate political humour.

Well, happy wedding everybody! I hope your luvre is more important than an easy to remember date on the calendar.

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You are all beneath me

Check out this awesome site!

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What do you get when you breed a femme tiger with a male lion? You get a 900 pound Liger!



Monkeybear!


Hello puppy!

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Yo, they got the Zebra-Horse there? What up, Zorse?

A zebra-horse (zorse) hybrid foal is pictured in a Safari park near the western German city of Bielefeld.

One-year-old Eclyse was accidentally produced when her mother a zebra, was taken from her German safari park home to a ranch in Italy for a brief time. Ecylse who was born in Italy, has stripes on her head and rear, while the body and her legs are white.

Awwwwwwwwwwww! Mommy, F*ck Unicorns, I want a Zorse!!

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10 Politically Incorrect Truths About Human Nature

No, this isn't from MAD Magazine but from Psychology Today.com

Human nature is one of those things that everybody talks about but no one can define precisely. Every time we fall in love, fight with our spouse, get upset about the influx of immigrants into our country, or go to church, we are, in part, behaving as a human animal with our own unique evolved nature—human nature.

This means two things. First, our thoughts, feelings, and behavior are produced not only by our individual experiences and environment in our own lifetime but also by what happened to our ancestors millions of years ago. Second, our thoughts, feelings, and behaviour are shared, to a large extent, by all men or women, despite seemingly large cultural differences.

Human behaviour is a product both of our innate human nature and of our individual experience and environment. In this article, however, we emphasise biological influences on human behaviour, because most social scientists explain human behaviour as if evolution stops at the neck and as if our behaviour is a product almost entirely of environment and socialisation. In contrast, evolutionary psychologists see human nature as a collection of psychological adaptations that often operate beneath conscious thinking to solve problems of survival and reproduction by predisposing us to think or feel in certain ways. Our preference for sweets and fats is an evolved psychological mechanism. We do not consciously choose to like sweets and fats; they just taste good to us.

The implications of some of the ideas in this article may seem immoral, contrary to our ideals, or offensive. We state them because they are true, supported by documented scientific evidence. Like it or not, human nature is simply not politically correct.

Excerpted from Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters, by Alan S. Miller and Satoshi Kanazawa, to be published by Perigree in September 2007.

1. Men like blond bombshells (and women want to look like them)
Long before TV—in 15th- and 16th- century Italy, and possibly two millennia ago—women were dying their hair blond. A recent study shows that......... in Iran, where exposure to Western media and culture is limited, women are actually more concerned with their body image, and want to lose more weight, than their American counterparts. It is difficult to ascribe the preferences and desires of women in 15th-century Italy and 21st-century Iran to socialization by media.

Women's desire to look like Barbie—young with small waist, large breasts, long blond hair, and blue eyes—is a direct, realistic, and sensible response to the desire of men to mate with women who look like her. There is evolutionary logic behind each of these features.

Men prefer young women in part because they tend to be healthier than older women. One accurate indicator of health is physical attractiveness; another is hair. Healthy women have lustrous, shiny hair, whereas the hair of sickly people loses its luster. Because hair grows slowly, shoulder-length hair reveals several years of a woman's health status.

Men also have a universal preference for women with a low waist-to-hip ratio. They are healthier and more fertile than other women; they have an easier time conceiving a child and do so at earlier ages because they have larger amounts of essential reproductive hormones. Thus men are unconsciously seeking healthier and more fertile women when they seek women with small waists.

Until very recently, it was a mystery to evolutionary psychology why men prefer women with large breasts, since the size of a woman's breasts has no relationship to her ability to lactate. But Harvard anthropologist Frank Marlowe contends that larger, and hence heavier, breasts sag more conspicuously with age than do smaller breasts. Thus they make it easier for men to judge a woman's age (and her reproductive value) by sight—suggesting why men find women with large breasts more attractive.

Alternatively, men may prefer women with large breasts for the same reason they prefer women with small waists. A new study of Polish women shows that women with large breasts and tight waists have the greatest fecundity, indicated by their levels of two reproductive hormones (estradiol and progesterone).

Blond hair is unique in that it changes dramatically with age. Typically, young girls with light blond hair become women with brown hair. Thus, men who prefer to mate with blond women are unconsciously attempting to mate with younger (and hence, on average, healthier and more fecund) women. It is no coincidence that blond hair evolved in Scandinavia and northern Europe, probably as an alternative means for women to advertise their youth, as their bodies were concealed under heavy clothing.

Women with blue eyes should not be any different from those with green or brown eyes. Yet preference for blue eyes seems both universal and undeniable—in males as well as females. One explanation is that the human pupil dilates when an individual is exposed to something that she likes. For instance, the pupils of women and infants (but not men) spontaneously dilate when they see babies. Pupil dilation is an honest indicator of interest and attraction. And the size of the pupil is easiest to determine in blue eyes. Blue-eyed people are considered attractive as potential mates because it is easiest to determine whether they are interested in us or not.

The irony is that none of the above is true any longer. Through face-lifts, wigs, liposuction, surgical breast augmentation, hair dye, and color contact lenses, any woman, regardless of age, can have many of the key features that define ideal female beauty. And men fall for them. Men can cognitively understand that many blond women with firm, large breasts are not actually 15 years old, but they still find them attractive because their evolved psychological mechanisms are fooled by modern inventions that did not exist in the ancestral environment.

2. Humans are naturally polygamous
The history of western civilization aside, humans are naturally polygamous. Polyandry (a marriage of one woman to many men) is very rare, but polygyny (the marriage of one man to many women) is widely practiced in human societies, even though Judeo-Christian traditions hold that monogamy is the only natural form of marriage. We know that humans have been polygynous throughout most of history because men are taller than women.

Among primate and nonprimate species, the degree of polygyny highly correlates with the degree to which males of a species are larger than females. The more polygynous the species, the greater the size disparity between the sexes. Typically, human males are 10 percent taller and 20 percent heavier than females. This suggests that, throughout history, humans have been mildly polygynous.

Relative to monogamy, polygyny creates greater fitness variance (the distance between the "winners" and the "losers" in the reproductive game) among males than among females because it allows a few males to monopolize all the females in the group. The greater fitness variance among males creates greater pressure for men to compete with each other for mates. Only big and tall males can win mating opportunities. Among pair-bonding species like humans, in which males and females stay together to raise their children, females also prefer to mate with big and tall males because they can provide better physical protection against predators and other males.

In societies where rich men are much richer than poor men, women (and their children) are better off sharing the few wealthy men; one-half, one-quarter, or even one-tenth of a wealthy man is still better than an entire poor man. As George Bernard Shaw puts it, "The maternal instinct leads a woman to prefer a tenth share in a first-rate man to the exclusive possession of a third-rate one." Despite the fact that humans are naturally polygynous, most industrial societies are monogamous because men tend to be more or less equal in their resources compared with their ancestors in medieval times. (Inequality tends to increase as society advances in complexity from hunter-gatherer to advanced agrarian societies. Industrialization tends to decrease the level of inequality.)

3. Most women benefit from polygyny, while most men benefit from monogamy.
When there is resource inequality among men—the case in every human society—most women benefit from polygyny: women can share a wealthy man. Under monogamy, they are stuck with marrying a poorer man.

The only exceptions are extremely desirable women. Under monogamy, they can monopolize the wealthiest men; under polygyny, they must share the men with other, less desirable women. However, the situation is exactly opposite for men. Monogamy guarantees that every man can find a wife. True, less desirable men can marry only less desirable women, but that's much better than not marrying anyone at all.

Men in monogamous societies imagine they would be better off under polygyny. What they don't realize is that, for most men who are not extremely desirable, polygyny means no wife at all, or, if they are lucky, a wife who is much less desirable than one they could get under monogamy.

4. Most suicide bombers are Muslim
Suicide missions are not always religiously motivated, but according to Oxford University sociologist Diego Gambetta, editor of Making Sense of Suicide Missions, when religion is involved, the attackers are always Muslim. Why? The surprising answer is that Muslim suicide bombing has nothing to do with Islam or the Quran (except for two lines). It has a lot to do with sex, or, in this case, the absence of sex.

What distinguishes Islam from other major religions is that it tolerates polygyny. By allowing some men to monopolize all women and altogether excluding many men from reproductive opportunities, polygyny creates shortages of available women. If 50 percent of men have two wives each, then the other 50 percent don't get any wives at all.

So polygyny increases competitive pressure on men, especially young men of low status. It therefore increases the likelihood that young men resort to violent means to gain access to mates. By doing so, they have little to lose and much to gain compared with men who already have wives. Across all societies, polygyny makes men violent, increasing crimes such as murder and rape, even after controlling for such obvious factors as economic development, economic inequality, population density, the level of democracy, and political factors in the region.

However, polygyny itself is not a sufficient cause of suicide bombing. Societies in sub-Saharan Africa and the Caribbean are much more polygynous than the Muslim nations in the Middle East and North Africa. And they do have very high levels of violence. Sub-Saharan Africa suffers from a long history of continuous civil wars—but not suicide bombings.

The other key ingredient is the promise of 72 virgins waiting in heaven for any martyr in Islam. The prospect of exclusive access to virgins may not be so appealing to anyone who has even one mate on earth, which strict monogamy virtually guarantees. However, the prospect is quite appealing to anyone who faces the bleak reality on earth of being a complete reproductive loser.

It is the combination of polygyny and the promise of a large harem of virgins in heaven that motivates many young Muslim men to commit suicide bombings. Consistent with this explanation, all studies of suicide bombers indicate that they are significantly younger than not only the Muslim population in general but other (nonsuicidal) members of their own extreme political organizations like Hamas and Hezbollah. And nearly all suicide bombers are single.

5. Having sons reduces the likelihood of divorce
Sociologists and demographers have discovered that couples who have at least one son face significantly less risk of divorce than couples who have only daughters. Why is this?

Since a man's mate value is largely determined by his wealth, status, and power—whereas a woman's is largely determined by her youth and physical attractiveness—the father has to make sure that his son will inherit his wealth, status, and power, regardless of how much or how little of these resources he has. In contrast, there is relatively little that a father (or mother) can do to keep a daughter youthful or make her more physically attractive.

The continued presence of (and investment by) the father is therefore important for the son, but not as crucial for the daughter. The presence of sons thus deters divorce and departure of the father from the family more than the presence of daughters, and this effect tends to be stronger among wealthy families.

6. Beautiful people have more daughters
It is commonly believed that whether parents conceive a boy or a girl is up to random chance. Close, but not quite; it is largely up to chance. The normal sex ratio at birth is 105 boys for every 100 girls. But the sex ratio varies slightly in different circumstances and for different families. There are factors that subtly influence the sex of an offspring.

One of the most celebrated principles in evolutionary biology, the Trivers-Willard hypothesis, states that wealthy parents of high status have more sons, while poor parents of low status have more daughters. This is because children generally inherit the wealth and social status of their parents. Throughout history, sons from wealthy families who would themselves become wealthy could expect to have a large number of wives, mistresses and concubines, and produce dozens or hundreds of children, whereas their equally wealthy sisters can have only so many children. So natural selection designs parents to have biased sex ratio at birth depending upon their economic circumstances—more boys if they are wealthy, more girls if they are poor. (The biological mechanism by which this occurs is not yet understood.)

This hypothesis has been documented around the globe. American presidents, vice presidents, and cabinet secretaries have more sons than daughters. Poor Mukogodo herders in East Africa have more daughters than sons. Church parish records from the 17th and 18th centuries show that wealthy landowners in Leezen, Germany, had more sons than daughters, while farm laborers and tradesmen without property had more daughters than sons. In a survey of respondents from 46 nations, wealthy individuals are more likely to indicate a preference for sons if they could only have one child, whereas less wealthy individuals are more likely to indicate a preference for daughters.

The generalized Trivers-Willard hypothesis goes beyond a family's wealth and status: If parents have any traits that they can pass on to their children and that are better for sons than for daughters, then they will have more boys. Conversely, if parents have any traits that they can pass on to their children and that are better for daughters, they will have more girls.

Physical attractiveness, while a universally positive quality, contributes even more to women's reproductive success than to men's. The generalized hypothesis would therefore predict that physically attractive parents should have more daughters than sons. Once again, this is the case. Americans who are rated "very attractive" have a 56 percent chance of having a daughter for their first child, compared with 48 percent for everyone else.

7. What Bill Gates and Paul McCartney have in common with criminals
For nearly a quarter of a century, criminologists have known about the "age-crime curve." In every society at all historical times, the tendency to commit crimes and other risk-taking behavior rapidly increases in early adolescence, peaks in late adolescence and early adulthood, rapidly decreases throughout the 20s and 30s, and levels off in middle age.

This curve is not limited to crime. The same age profile characterizes every quantifiable human behavior that is public (i.e., perceived by many potential mates) and costly (i.e., not affordable by all sexual competitors). The relationship between age and productivity among male jazz musicians, male painters, male writers, and male scientists—which might be called the "age-genius curve"—is essentially the same as the age-crime curve. Their productivity—the expressions of their genius—quickly peaks in early adulthood, and then equally quickly declines throughout adulthood. The age-genius curve among their female counterparts is much less pronounced; it does not peak or vary as much as a function of age.

Paul McCartney has not written a hit song in years, and now spends much of his time painting. Bill Gates is now a respectable businessman and philanthropist, and is no longer a computer whiz kid. J.D. Salinger now lives as a total recluse and has not published anything in more than three decades. Orson Welles was a mere 26 when he wrote, produced, directed, and starred in Citizen Kane.

A single theory can explain the productivity of both creative geniuses and criminals over the life course: Both crime and genius are expressions of young men's competitive desires, whose ultimate function in the ancestral environment would have been to increase reproductive success.

In the physical competition for mates, those who are competitive may act violently toward their male rivals. Men who are less inclined toward crime and violence may express their competitiveness through their creative activities.

The cost of competition, however, rises dramatically when a man has children, when his energies and resources are put to better use protecting and investing in them. The birth of the first child usually occurs several years after puberty because men need some time to accumulate sufficient resources and attain sufficient status to attract their first mate. There is therefore a gap of several years between the rapid rise in the benefits of competition and similarly rapid rise in its costs. Productivity rapidly declines in late adulthood as the costs of competition rise and cancel its benefits.

These calculations have been performed by natural and sexual selection, so to speak, which then equips male brains with a psychological mechanism to incline them to be increasingly competitive immediately after puberty and make them less competitive right after the birth of their first child. Men simply do not feel like acting violently, stealing, or conducting additional scientific experiments, or they just want to settle down after the birth of their child but they do not know exactly why.

The similarity between Bill Gates, Paul McCartney, and criminals—in fact, among all men throughout evolutionary history—points to an important concept in evolutionary biology: female choice.

Women often say no to men. Men have had to conquer foreign lands, win battles and wars, compose symphonies, author books, write sonnets, paint cathedral ceilings, make scientific discoveries, play in rock bands, and write new computer software in order to impress women so that they will agree to have sex with them. Men have built (and destroyed) civilization in order to impress women, so that they might say yes.

8. The midlife crisis is a myth—sort of
Many believe that men go through a midlife crisis when they are in middle age. Not quite. Many middle-aged men do go through midlife crises, but it's not because they are middle-aged. It's because their wives are. From the evolutionary psychological perspective, a man's midlife crisis is precipitated by his wife's imminent menopause and end of her reproductive career, and thus his renewed need to attract younger women. Accordingly, a 50-year-old man married to a 25-year-old woman would not go through a midlife crisis, while a 25-year-old man married to a 50-year-old woman would, just like a more typical 50-year-old man married to a 50-year-old woman. It's not his midlife that matters; it's hers. When he buys a shiny-red sports car, he's not trying to regain his youth; he's trying to attract young women to replace his menopausal wife by trumpeting his flash and cash.

9. It's natural for politicians to risk everything for an affair (but only if they're male)
On the morning of January 21, 1998, as Americans woke up to the stunning allegation that President Bill Clinton had had an affair with a 24-year-old White House intern, Darwinian historian Laura L. Betzig thought, "I told you so." Betzig points out that while powerful men throughout Western history have married monogamously (only one legal wife at a time), they have always mated polygynously (they had lovers, concubines, and female slaves). With their wives, they produced legitimate heirs; with the others, they produced bastards. Genes make no distinction between the two categories of children.

As a result, powerful men of high status throughout human history attained very high reproductive success, leaving a large number of offspring (legitimate and otherwise), while countless poor men died mateless and childless. Moulay Ismail the Bloodthirsty, the last Sharifian emperor of Morocco, stands out quantitatively, having left more offspring—1,042—than anyone else on record, but he was by no means qualitatively different from other powerful men, like Bill Clinton.

The question many asked in 1998—"Why on earth would the most powerful man in the world jeopardize his job for an affair with a young woman?"—is, from a Darwinian perspective, a silly one. Betzig's answer would be: "Why not?" Men strive to attain political power, consciously or unconsciously, in order to have reproductive access to a larger number of women. Reproductive access to women is the goal, political office but one means. To ask why the President of the United States would have a sexual encounter with a young woman is like asking why someone who worked very hard to earn a large sum of money would then spend it.

What distinguishes Bill Clinton is not that he had extramarital affairs while in office—others have, more will; it would be a Darwinian puzzle if they did not—what distinguishes him is the fact that he got caught.

10. Men sexually harass women because they are not sexist
An unfortunate consequence of the ever-growing number of women joining the labor force and working side by side with men is the increasing number of sexual harassment cases. Why must sexual harassment be a necessary consequence of the sexual integration of the workplace?

Psychologist Kingsley R. Browne identifies two types of sexual harassment cases: the quid pro quo ("You must sleep with me if you want to keep your job or be promoted") and the "hostile environment" (the workplace is deemed too sexualized for workers to feel safe and comfortable). While feminists and social scientists tend to explain sexual harassment in terms of "patriarchy" and other ideologies, Browne locates the ultimate cause of both types of sexual harassment in sex differences in mating strategies.

Studies demonstrate unequivocally that men are far more interested in short-term casual sex than women. In one now-classic study, 75% of undergraduate men approached by an attractive female stranger agreed to have sex with her; none of the women approached by an attractive male stranger did. Many men who would not date the stranger nonetheless agreed to have sex with her.

The quid pro quo types of harassment are manifestations of men's greater desire for short-term casual sex and their willingness to use any available means to achieve that goal. Feminists often claim that sexual harassment is "not about sex but about power;" Browne contends it is both—men using power to get sex. "To say that it is only about power makes no more sense than saying that bank robbery is only about guns, not about money."

Sexual harassment cases of the hostile-environment variety result from sex differences in what men and women perceive as "overly sexual" or "hostile" behavior. Many women legitimately complain that they have been subjected to abusive, intimidating, and degrading treatment by their male coworkers. Browne points out that long before women entered the labor force, men subjected each other to such abusive, intimidating, and degrading treatment.

Abuse, intimidation, and degradation are all part of men's repertoire of tactics employed in competitive situations. In other words, men are not treating women differently from men—the definition of discrimination, under which sexual harassment legally falls—but the opposite: Men harass women precisely because they are not discriminating between men and women.

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Good Riddance "Punk Planet"

That is all.

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Flavia Coffee - Italian Roast, #5 on the strength-o-meter. Goes down smooth. Holla at your boy. The little packets are so unGore friendly though AND I'm drinking from a styrofoam cup! Oh, the decadence of finance.

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Garden State / Staten Island insider.com

It's Friday! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo!!!

  • Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!! New Jersey is pissed. New Jersey senator Paul Sarlo says he's sick and tired of NYC getting all the credit for NJ's hosting skills. I guess when Saturday's Live Earth concerts bring focus to global warming yawning, millions around the world will hear about Live Earth New York even though it will be beaming from East Rutherford at the Meadowlands. Hahaha! I guess NJ peoples are tired of seeing the Empire State steal the Garden State's thunder. New Jersey is home to the NY Giants and the NY Jets and Major League Soccer's The New York Red Bulls. "American Idol'' taped an episode at the Meadowlands that was billed as being from New York. So now Sarlo is researching legislation to require Meadowlands events be billed as being from New Jersey. I'm glad to see we're focusing on the important things.

  • Man Opens Fire in Las Vegas Casino, Wounding 4... A man on a walkway over the New York-New York casino floor opened fire on the gamblers below early this morning, wounding 4 people before he was tackled by officers and patrons. Ya think this might have something to do with the historic heatwave Vegas is having right now? Vegas clocked in at 116°F yesterday. Hey, I might start shootin' too if it got that hot.

  • The FBI is investigating anonymous threats against Goldman Sachs contained in handwritten letters warning that "hundreds will die.'' Sent to newspapers across the country, the letters threaten the investment titan, warning, "We are inside. You cannot stop us.'' The Star Ledger of Newark reported the letters were all mailed from Queens, and signed "A.Q., U.S.A.'' (Yeah, OK) One of the letters, postmarked June 27, was received recently by the newspaper. Goldman Sachs is based in New York, and has offices in London, Frankfurt, Tokyo, Hong Kong and other cities. About 3,000 people work in its 44-story Jersey City tower.

  • What are we the f*ckin' Garden State Insider today?! Amy Polumbo a.k.a. Miss New Jersey says someone is threatening to make some personal photographs of her public if she does not give up her crown. Polumbo, a 22-year-old Howell resident and a senior at Wagner College on Staten Island, won the Miss New Jersey competition last month, giving her the right to compete in the next Miss America competition -- wherever and whenever it may be held. I guess someone has pics from her stupid Facebook account and is threatening to make them public. It's probably her drinking or making out with the football team or somesh&t. If Polumbo did step down for some reason, first runner-up Ronica Licciardello would become Miss New Jersey. Reached by phone at her Mount Laurel home Thursday, Licciardello said she had not heard of the scandal. "I hope this situation is resolved in the best way possible,'' she said. Surrrrrrrrrrrre. Like she isn't behind this. Catty little bitch. So I caught a clip of Miss New Jersey's "press conference" about this "scandal" this morning and somehow she managed to mispronounce "ironically". It was great; she made it 5 syllables like she'd never, ever read or said the word before. Perfect. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Miss New Jersey 2008.

  • Rumour has it Rupert Murdoch has succeeded with his $5 billion bid for Dow Jones, owners of the Wall Street Journal. Negotiations have been completed and the board is confident the terms of the deal will be accepted by the Bancroft family, which controls a majority of voting shares in Dow Jones, over the next few days. A formal announcement is expected next week.


  • Marine biologists are puzzled by an unidentified sea creature, termed an "octosquid," that was found last week off Keahole Point on Hawaii. Octosquids! On A Plane?!


  • USA: So thorough, we'll kill you twice! The U.S. command in Baghdad ballyhooed the killing of a key al Qaeda leader this week but later admitted that the military had declared him dead a year ago. A military spokesman acknowledged the mistake after it was called to his attention by The Examiner. He said public affairs officers will be more careful in announcing significant kills. The incident shows the eagerness of the command to show progress in dismantling al Qaeda at a time when many are pressing President Bush to withdraw troops from Iraq. What do they have dead people stored and they thaw them out when moral is low? That's awesome!

  • What's with Spitzers psychotic witch hunt on State Senate Majority Leader Joseph Bruno?! He must be bored. The feud has gotten so bad that while Bruno says he will meet with Spitzer any time, he will only do it in public. Personally, I think Bruno would take Spitzer down. Why are we investigating and spying on each other and trying to pass legislations on mandatory mentions of New Jersey at a time like this? Where are our priorities?!

  • Harry Potter has his first kiss and will die in the final book/movie/
    calendar/lunchbox

  • Bush is hemorrhaging Republic war supporters... In Albuquerque today, Senator Pete Domenici a six-term incumbent who faces reelection next year, said he was "unwilling to continue our current strategy" in Iraq. His announcement follows the split of two other high-profile Republicans with the president over his handling of the war. Last week, Senator Richard Lugar of Indiana and Senator George Voinovich of Ohio called on Bush to start withdrawing troops. Cue Glen Frey's "The Heat Is On".

  • Can someone change the station in my head? I've had 2 of the worst songs stuck up in there all morning. Earlier I had the chorus to White Lion's "Wait" and now I'm trying to shake Smash Mouth's "Allstar". Whoever is programming my brain needs to be fired.

  • What is up with those new Smashing Pumpkins jams?! Yeah, exactly.

  • So starting this weekend, drivers who get onto the West Side Highway will lose an option to get off the road. The northbound exit at 72nd Street will close permanently on Sunday. I've always wanted to have 9 lives and in one of the lives I'd drive off a road that said "road closed" and the highway would just end and my car would careen and fly off the road. Look, if you've got the dough to live on 72nd and the West Side, you can afford to drive the extra exit and double back so shut the F up and go to donate some money to a French museum.

  • Staten Island Brouhaha... Police say officers saw a man lighting off fireworks shortly before 11 p.m. Wednesday on Fillmore Place, in the Arrochar neighborhood. Police went to arrest him and found themselves in a confrontation with several other people. 17 men -- including homeowner Gabriel Scianna, 50 and one woman were charged with assault, inciting a riot, unlawful assembly, obstructing governmental administration, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. More than a dozen officers were treated for injuries, including bruised hands and feet, swollen faces and cuts to the arms. Naturally, residents are now complaining that the police were too aggressive. And naturally the cops, many of whom were injured, say they were doing their job. The police do admit "an all-out brawl" occurred after 50-some people tried to block them from going in and started to assault them. From the Staten Island Advance:
    Inspector Richard Bruno, the commanding officer of the North Shore's 120th Precinct, tried to approach the alleged ringleader of the fracas, 50-year-old Gabriel Scianna, who lives at 23 Fillmore, cops said.

    But Scianna slammed his front door on Bruno's leg, cutting his knee, and a few seconds later, according to police, several partygoers held up their fists and assumed fighting stances.

    "Mr. Scianna had turned his block into a circa-1980s Howard Beach-type of environment. (HOLLA!) And our message is that, on the Fourth of July, that type of conduct will not be tolerated," Bruno said. He also suffered glass cuts of his elbow.

    "Howard Beach" was a pointed reference to the fireworks spectaculars that Godfather John Gotti staged most years in Queens.


    In 1991, Das Feds arrested Scianna, who lived in Brooklyn at the time, accusing him of being a member of a Colombo crime family death squad, ("Death Squad"?!) Advance records show. Scianna pleaded guilty to a gun charge in 1992.
    One woman with Down Syndome who admitted to Newsday that she jumped a cop, said she was maced, handcuffed, and bruised by a cop, "They threw me on the floor and handcuffed me from behind -- and I was really upset." A police officer, though, said, "It was a donnybrook. They were all drunk." Who uses the term donnybrook? What is this Slapshot 2?!

  • Are we the only blog who hasn't picked up on this stupid pickle story? Curbed, Gothamist, Gawker... Well I guess now we have. Allllll abooooaaard! Bandwagoneers!
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