The World Needs A Stronger Blog...: September 2007

05 October 2007

The Perils of Social Networking

After a few solid years of sordid social networking, I decided to commit social networking suicide and a few months ago I deleted my MySpace profile. I felt like I'd just lost 500 lbs. Then today I saw this on Gawker:

"I ran into a couple I know but haven't seen for a while last night. "Oh my god, you guys, congratulations!" I gushed.
"Thanks but... how did you know we got ngaged?" the male half of the couple, who is the one I'm better friends with, asked. And I realized that I had read it in his Facebook profile. Also, that I was going to have to admit that."

And it reminded me of something I'd been thinking about for a while; the surreptitious stalking and vicarious information gleaning on these "social networking" sites. How do you explain it to someone?

When you run into so-and-so whom you haven't seen in person in months, but you stalked their profile a bunch of times, you know so-and-so isn't with Chad anymore, she's with Glen now and Glen is still leaving comments for Monique but so-and-so doesn't know that because Monique isn't in her extended network; what do you do?! Do you tell so-and-so? How do explain that you know she's with Glen now if she's never told you herself? Do you let on that you stalk her profile? Everyone does it; EV-ERY-ONE.

I mean, who doesn't love surreptitiously watching relationships develop and get demolished on these sites?

First theres some cute pawing at each other, flirty picture comments and the like, then it gets serious, its intense, lots of romantic pablum and "I'm so lucky" posts, then it starts to deteriorate, no comments for a few days, weeks, so-and-so drops down a few slots in the "Top 8" or "Top 24" or whatever, before you know it Harry is number #2 in her tops and Glen is all the way down in the last row with the bands! Then one day Glen is gone altogether and so-and-so status now says "single".

And this is how we "socially network" in 2007; in lieu of speaking or mingling, we electronically stalk each other and spy on each other. How gross!

We glean like dirty voyeurs, even discussing it with others who also "know" but then when we finally run into these people we feel like we're privy to info that they don't know we're privy to; and its not our fault; they've put it on display. Some people obviously love to have their lives like open books on these sites. It's a very, very odd phenomenon.

When is right to play dumb? Would you let someone tell you an entire story that you feel you already know because you've watched it unfold on their MySpace page?

I've been thinking of writing a book about relationships in the new era of social networking sites; the pro's and con's, the downfalls and the advantages. I know some people, guys and girls, who use it as their pimp hand, and some who blame it for destroying that very same flow. When Tonya sees what Tamika said on your page, your cover is blown. You've gotta go underground. I'm sure there must be so many tales out there of relationships and heartbreak all thanks to these sites and the fresh and foreign situations they inspire.

MySpace may be done with its BETA version, but we as humans are still figuring out how to handle their invention.

That's why I've decided to deal in reality only from now on; if not face to face than letters with stamps and that's it.

Ugh. It's Friday. I'm going home. I've gotta go check my AOL like its '95.

Have a good weekend everybody! HOLLA!

The Karlton Hines Story

"Beginning at the age of 12, Karlton Hines was destined for the basketball court, tearing up the pavement at the street pickup games he would invariably win. But Karlton was pulled in another direction as well, called to the life of the street; reaching college age he attracted attention from every top Division I college in the country, but he was reluctant to abandon his roots. While coaches ventured to the projects from their suburban enclaves, Karlton got more and more involved with the underground world of the street, and at 18 he was a major player in the drug industry. Karlton's fate, however, was not one he would ultimately choose, as he met his tragic end at the wrong end of a gun barrel."

Seagull Thief - Watch more free videos

Yo everybody chill; MF Doom is doing aiight, I think

Lots of rumours out there about my boy MF Doom. And I doubt he'd want it any other way.

After Doom allegedly sent in an impostor to play his show in San Fran in August and subsequently canceled the rest of his tour he was scheduled to play the New York-Tokyo Music Festival on 22 September.

The masked sadist never showed, of course, and it was announced that Doom canceled “because he’s in the hospital fighting or his life.”

Rakim played a short set in his place and even apparently offered a “moment of silence” for Doom.

But one of Doom’s labels, Stones Throw, issued a statement denying those rumors last week. It read, in part:

"Every day for the past month we’ve been hit up by people wanting explanations, statements, clarifications, and declarations about MF DOOM. Is he lip syncing? (No. Listen to the videos on Youtube.) Is he an impostor? (No, but he did lose some pounds.) Is he in the hospital? (No, he’s in his studio… or if not there, you can find him in the pub with the grub stain.)"

Reached at his home in Georgia, an alive and well MF DOOM issued this statement: “What up? I’m dead.”

Devin Horwitz, a close friend of Doom’s and president of Nature Sounds, another of the rapper’s labels, says “Doom was sick but it was nothing life threatening. He wasn’t feeling well before, but he’s fine now, and fans don’t need to be concerned.”

Horwitz says he hasn’t spoken with him specifically regarding the New York-Tokyo Music Festival or the San Fran show, but adds that he seriously doubts Doom ever used an impostor or lip-synced.

The Stones Throw link is now dead, which is perhaps not surprising, as it raises more questions that it answers. First of all, YouTube videos like this one (check out the 1:20 mark) are more incriminating than exonerating.

Second, why deny the existence of an impostor, without explaining what happened at the gig?

And third, if Doom’s so healthy he’s cavorting at pubs, why does he keep missing shows?

Maybe this is the craziest publicity stunt Doom has pulled. Maybe he’s actually been dead for six weeks. Fuck, Doom, what up?

Single mother from Minnesota ordered to pay $220,000 for sharing 24 songs online

In the first U.S. trial to challenge the illegal downloading of music on the net, a single mother from Minnesota was ordered Thursday to pay $220,000 for sharing 24 songs online!

Jammie Thomas, 30, was the first among more than 26,000 people sued by the world's most powerful recording companies to refuse a settlement after being slapped with a lawsuit by the Recording Industry of America and six major music labels.

She turned down an offer to pay a few thousands dollars in fines and instead took the case to court, and lost.

Unlike some who insist on the right to share files over the net, Thomas says she was wrongfully targeted by SafeNet, a contractor employed by the recording industry to patrol the internet for copyrighted material. Rats!

Her lawyer said earlier this week that she had racked up some $60,000 in legal fees because she refused to be bullied.

And while Thomas insisted on the courthouse steps that she had never downloaded or uploaded music, her lawyer tried to convince jurors there was no way to prove who had uploaded songs on the Kazaa file sharing network.

A jury took just 5 hours to decide that evidence provided by the music labels showed otherwise and found Thomas guilty of copyright infringement!

Thomas, an employee of the Mille Lacs Band of Ojibwe, an Indian tribe, was ordered to pay a $9,250-fine for each of 24 shared songs cited in the case.

Some of the songs she shared were Godsmack's "Spiral," Destiny's Child's "Bills, Bills, Bills" and Sara McLachlan's "Building a Mystery." I think she should walk free for the file sharing but be fined $4M for distributing such shit music.

The fine could have reached $150,000 PER SONG if the jury had found "willful" copyright infringement. Had the record companies sued her for all 1,702 songs found in the online folder the fine could have run in the millions.

Fuck this shit. CD's are dead. Record companies are dead. Someday music stores & music sections in electronic stores will be dusty catacombs. It's done. It's SO done; they're just trying to make some cash wherever they can now. If they can't sell records, they'll just sue everyone with a computer.

Blackwater got bitchslapped

If you follow mon blog, you know I've been following this bizarre Blackwater phenom.

Well, today the House of Reps passed a bill basically saying private soldiers are no longer above the law! It came only two days after the founder of Blackwater, Erik Prince, gave evidence to Congress denying his cowboy guards had ever killed innocent Iraqi civilians.

From the Guardian:

"The House of Representatives today passed a bill to end the immunity of private security companies such as Blackwater in war zones.

Blackwater, at the centre of a controversy over the killing of at least 11 civilians in Baghdad last month, is, like the other 170 private security companies operating in the country, subject to neither US nor Iraqi law.

The House bill closes this loophole. It secured the support of both Democrats and Republicans and was passed with an overwhelming majority, 389 to 30.

Blackwater provides security for the US ambassador in Iraq, Ryan Crocker, and other US diplomats.

Although US soldiers have faced court martials and other military hearings, not a single private guard has been charged in relation to killings in Iraq. Democrats portrayed the vote as an indictment of the Baghdad shootings.

Although some Republican senators described the wording of the House bill as sloppy, Democratic leaders in the senate said they intend to push forward with a similar bill. They said they wanted the legislation to go to the president as quickly as possible. "

ABC will eat itself

The 27-year old ABC No Rio, ye olde non-profit art and activism community center at 156 Rivinton, has decided to raze the building and construct a new one. So after all that "Save ABC" hoopla, the inmates have decided to tear down the asylum themselves? To that I say touché!

From their site...

New Construction at ABC No Rio...

It has been an exciting year since ABC No Rio acquired the property at 156 Rivington Street. Our collective, our board, our community has met to discuss the future of this place.

Local architect Paul Castrucci has been working with No Rio towards the design of a new facility. The building at 156 Rivington Street is distressed and in disrepair. We've determined that existing conditions are such that responsible repair and renovation would be difficult and not significantly less costly than new construction.

Through new construction we will build dramatically improved facilities and resources for our cultural, community and educational activities.

Over the course of the past several months, we met many times, assessed our current and future needs, and now have plans for a new building on the site.

New construction will expand our first floor gallery and performance space; install new building-wide systems (electrical, plumbing, heating); provide disabled access to areas used for public events; and create more useful and efficient workshop facilities. Our approach will be towards green and sustainable design: energy efficiency and conservation, use of local and recycled materials, and the installation of a green roof.

mind if i grab a quick shower?

Through this project we will augment and enhance ABC No Rio's use of the site for all our projects and programs. It will cost almost $2 million...

Muahahhaha I'm Steve Englander, the director of ABC No Rio.

Gothamist interviews Ira Glass; the brains, heart and larynx behind the wildly popular program This American Life.

Canis lupus dingo

The dingo (plural dingoes or dingos) or warrigal, Canis lupus dingo, is a type of wild dog, probably descended from the Indian Wolf, canis Indica. It is commonly described as an Australian wild dog, but is not restricted to Australia, and apparently it didn't even originate there. Odd.

Modern dingoes are found throughout Southeast Asia, mostly in small pockets of remaining natural forest, and in mainland Australia, particularly in the north. They have features in common with both wolves and modern dogs, and are regarded as more or less unchanged descendants of an early ancestor of modern dogs.

The name dingo comes from the language of the Eora Aboriginal people, who were the original inhabitants of the Sydney area.

The Australian animals may be descendants of Asian dingoes that were introduced to the continent some 2,000 to 3,000 years ago.

These golden-orange lovebirds may live alone, especially the young males - like bachelors; they can also live in packs of up to 15 animals. They roam great distances and communicate with wolf-like howls.

Dingo hunting is opportunistic; they hunt alone or in cooperative packs. They pursue small game such as rabbits, rodents, birds, and lizards in addition to larger prey such as kangaroos, sheep and deer. These dogs will eat fruits and plants as well. They also scavenge from humans, particularly in their Asian range.

Dingoes breed only once a year. Femme Dingoes typically give birth to about five pups, which are not independent until six to eight months of age. In packs, a dominant breeding female will kill the offspring of other females. Bitchy Dingoes!

Australia is home to so many of these animals that they are generally considered cute, but pests!

A famous "dingo fence" has been erected to protect grazing lands for the continent's herds of sheep. It is likely that more dingoes live in Australia today than when Europeans first arrived.

Though dingoes are numerous, their pure genetic strain is gradually being compromised. They can and do interbreed with domestic dogs to produce hybrid animals. Studies suggest that more than a third of southeastern Australia's dingoes are hybrids. I think my dog is part Dingo actually.

Dingoes are a little smaller than wolves. Dingoes have a lean, athletic build. Male dingoes are larger than females. Males weigh 26 to 43 pounds and females weigh 21 to 35 pounds.

Dingoes have unique wrists in the canine world, capable of rotatation. This enables dingoes to use their paws like hands and turn door knobs! Their ability to go where other dogs can't means dingoes can cause more problems for humans than other wild members of the dog family can.

Dingo colour varies but is usually ginger: some have a reddish tinge, others are more sandy yellow, and some are even black; the underside is lighter.

Alpine dingoes are found in high elevation areas of the Australian Alps, and grow a second thicker coat during late autumn for warmth which usually sheds by mid to late spring.

Most dingoes have white markings on the chest, feet, and the tip of the tail; some have a blackish muzzle. They can live for up to 15 years in captivity, but have a more usual lifespan of 3-7 years :(

The earliest known dingo skulls have been found in Vietnam and are about 5,500 years old. Dingo remains from 5,000 to 2,500 years old have been found in other parts of South-east Asia, and the earliest fossil record of dingoes in Australia is 3,500 years old. Dingo-like bones have also been found in Israel and the West Bank dating 14,000 years old! Dinosaur Dingoes!

Dingoes have a more independent temperament than domestic dogs. They are extremely agile and are known to climb trees. Like my dog!

Modern dogs are believed to be the result of artificial selection of various traits from a single domestication of the grey wolf about 15,000 years ago: the modern dingo appears to be a relatively pure-bred descendant of one of the earliest domestications!

Aboriginal people across the continent adopted the dingo as a companion animal, using it to assist with hunting and for warmth on cold nights. (The terms "two-dog night" and "three-dog night" are believed to come from Aboriginal idiom, describing the overnight temperature.)

The laws concerning keeping dingoes as pets are inconsistent from one state to another in Australia. It is recommended that if dingoes are to be pets, they be adopted at a young age in order to help them bond with humans. However, dingoes are wild dogs and have strong hunting instincts. They may kill birds and small animals, and get into fights with other similarly sized mammals. When hunting larger animals, dingoes hassle or annoy their prey until the prey is off balance or tired, and the dingoes can attack. They are accustomed to fighting for rank within the pack, and may do the same thing when playing or interacting with other domestic dogs, resulting in dog fights and the appearance of the dingo as the aggressive animal. Like other hunting dogs, dingoes need to be heavily worked in order to be happy and they need space to run

Remember that Seinfeld thing "The dingo ate your baby"?, well it came from a few stories.

Dingoes have received bad publicity in recent years as a result of the highly publicised Azaria Chamberlain disappearance and also because of dingo attacks on Fraser Island in Queensland.

In 2001 around 200 dingoes lived on the island, and 20 people were attacked in the preceding six years. In April 2001 a nine-year-old child was killed in one such attack near Waddy Point on Fraser Island. This led to a cull of the animals which were actually protected by law. The owners of the island, the Ngulungbara people, fought the cull through a legal injunction.

In all, 65 dingoes were eventually killed. In 2004 more legal battles began after a dingo entered a bedroom in Kingfisher Bay resort where two young children were present. More recently in September 2006 a dingo was shot dead by Parks and Wildlife rangers after it attacked a four-year-old child who had been playing in shallow water near Eurong on the island.

sleepy Dingo

New Nas joint

Nas "Surviving The Times"

We Remember: Nice & Smooth

Nice & Smooth was from NY. It was Greg Mays (a/k/a Greg Nice) and Daryl Barnes (a/k/a Smooth B). They released a ton of albums in the late 80's and early 90's to little popular appeal, but their second album, "Ain't a Damn Thing Changed", was a commercial success with the hit in "Sometimes I Rhyme Slow"... sometimes I rhyme quick..quick...quick.

But I think Nice & Smooth may best be known for their guest appearances - namely the one with Gang Starr on "DWYCK" ... remember "Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is..."

I guess Tupac was gonna sign Nice & Smooth to his Makaveli label but then he got shot.

Ah yeah, here's another Gangstarr sure shot, featuring the one and
only, uh heh heh heh handly handly boy, Nice & Smooth, hey, hey,
HEY, HEY!!!!

Ganstarr has got to be da sure shot
Nice & Smooth has got to be da sure shot
(Repeat 2X)

[Greg Nice]

Greg Nice!!! Greg N-I-C-E
Droppin dem basso, ah oui oui
Rock for a fee, not for free
Maybe I'll do it for charity
Now my employer or my employee
Is makin Greg N-I-C-E very M-A-D
Don't ever ever think of jerkin me
I work to hard for my royalty
Put lead in ya ass and drink a cup of tea
Peace to Red Alert and Kid Capri
Ooohh la la ah oui oui, I say Muhammad Ali, ya say Cassius Clay
I say butter you say Parkay
It's alright if ya wanna make a sway
I'm a way up town, took deuce to the tre
I originate, they duplicate
I praise the lord and keep the faith
It's alright keep bitin at da bait
'92, uh!!, one year later
Peace out Premier take me out wit da fader

[Premier scratches and hooks]

[Guru]

I chant eenie meenie, minie moe
I wreck da mic like a pimp pimps hoes
Here's how it goes I am a genius I mean this
I shake this you'll take this
I'm kinda fiendish
You wish that you could come into my neighborhood
Meaning my mental state
Still I'm 5 foot 8
Crazy as I wanna be
Cause I make it orderly
You could say I'm sorta da boss so get lost
The brotha dat will make you change opinions
Dominions I'm in them when it's time to kick shit from
The heart, plus I get a piece of the action
I'm feelin satisfaction from the street crowd reaction
Chumps pull guns when they feel afraid, too late
When they dip in the kick they get sprayed
Lemonade was a popular drink and in still is
I get more props den stunts den Bruce Willis
A poet like Langston Hughes and can't lose when I cruise
Out on the expressway
Leavin the Bodega I say "suave"
Premier's got more beats den barns got hay
Clips are inserted into my gun
So I can take the money, neva have ta run

[Premier scratches and hooks]

[Smooth B]

I left my Phillie at home
Do you have another?
I wanna get blunted my brother
Now may I make a mark
Then make a spark over this phat track
Or should I say dope beat
Subtract, delete
All of the wick wack that wanna be abstract
But they lack the new knack that's comin from way way back
Hey yo Premier, please pass that buddha sack
You hear we quit?
No way, bullshit
I told ya before we come back wit more hits
I provide bright flava, so you could sketch me
Do me a favor, dont try and catch me
Slightly ahead of the game, I'm not a lame
Ask him, he'll tell you the same he knows my name
Smooth, I drop jewels like, paraphernalia
I'm infallible, not into failure
Like a rhinoceros, my speed is prosperous
And pure knowledge expands from my esophagus
I write here tonite to bring truth to the light
My dialogue is my own cause Smooth B will neva bite

I took the plunge

and now I think I might be hooked...

So I did some serious appointment television last night. 8:30 I was in front of the flat screen ready for my virgin 30 Rock experience and it wasn't all bad!

In fact, I chuckled, I chortled and I even tsk tsk'd. I forgot how fast television shows were, its like 18 minutes of show the rest is commercials. Seinfeld was funny, Tracy Morgan hardly ever disappoints, Tina Fey's scar was on point, and Alec Baldwin is a genius.

I may even tune in again next week. Fuck, whats happening to me?!!

I caught the tail end of that Jason Lee show and it was not very funny at all; as subtle as a large print book I thought.

Yo son, J-Lo be all pregnant like wuuuut

HOLLA!

Can you spot Mr. White?

click pic to enlarge

What the F, Bill? Why did you bring 20 goons with you to go window shopping in London? And why the fuck didn't you stop at Harvie & Hudson?!?!! HELLO???!

This, from the Daily Mail:

"Whoever said it's lonely at the top, it wasn't Bill Clinton.

The former President is constantly surrounded by an entourage of more than 20 bodyguards.

So when he attended a book signing in London on Thursday, he brought a crowd of his own.

The one-time US leader looked like he was auditioning for a part in Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs.

The burly men in suits fanned out around 61-year-old Mr Clinton as he went window shopping in Jermyn Street before arriving at the Piccadilly branch of Waterstone's.

Fortunately for the former resident of the White House, they turned out to be heavily outnumbered by 1,000 or so fans who bought his book Giving - How Each of Us Can Change the World.

Mr Clinton stood down in 2001. Former Presidents and their spouses are entitled to be guarded by the Secret Service for ten years after they leave office.

He flew to Britain to attend a fundraising meeting at a private house in Windsor for Democrats Abroad.

His wife Hillary is a frontrunner to win the Democrats' presidential nomination."

click pic to enlarge

Red Sox Fan Attacked in Yonkers

This is like when The Exploited would tell their audience to go beat up the people letting out of the disco down the street.

A Red Sox fan was attacked outside of a Yonkers hotel in the wee hours of Thursday morning.

I guess two dudes were at the Ramada hotel bar on Tuckahoe Road Wednesday night watching the Red Sox game. After the game one of the men, who was wearing a Red Sox baseball hat and jersey, was leaving the hotel when he was approached by a man from behind.

Red Sox lovin' Carlos Ortez was attacked sustaining multiple fractures to several bones in his face. As of this morning, Ortez remained in ICU at Westchester Medical Center.

The DA said two dudes from Pennsylvania no less, Duane Somers, 32, and Edward McConaughey, 42, were arrested and charged with assault.

I dunno... I wouldn't go wearing my Yankees gear to a bar on Lansdowne, I guess you shouldn't roll up to Yonkers in your Red Sox uniform.

Corporate Vipers

Over the course of a day I'd say I probably hold 4 or 5 doors for people; throw in an elevator save here or there and I'm a pretty good dude. So I've started to realise we are now shortening the valediction "Thanks". It has been shortened to simple "nks" and it almost sounds like a snake's hiss. So when you hold the door for someone, you'll probably hear a gentle, discreet, whispered "inks" just know that means "Thanks". Just an FYI for those of you in the corporate environ.

The Food Snobs Dictionary: Oochie Wally Wally, Oochie Bang Bang

Food Snob n: reference term for the sort of food obsessive for whom the actual joy of eating and cooking is but a side dish to the accumulation of arcane knowledge about these subjects

From the author of The United States of Arugula--and coauthor of The Film Snob’s Dictionary and The Rock Snob’s Dictionary--a delectable compendium of food facts, terminology, and famous names that gives ordinary folk the wherewithal to take down the Food Snobs--or join their zealous ranks.

Open a menu and there they are, those confusing references to “grass-fed” beef, “farmstead” blue cheese, and “dry-farmed” fruits. It doesn’t help that your dinner companions have moved on to such heady topics as the future of the organic movement, or the seminal culinary contributions of Elizabeth Drew and Fernand Point. David Kamp, who demystified the worlds of rock and film for grateful readers, explains it all and more, in The Food Snobs Dictionary.

Both entertaining and authentically informative, The Food Snob’s Dictionary travels through the alphabet explaining the buzz-terms that fuel the food-obsessed, from “Affinage” to “Zest,” with stops along the way for “Cardoons,” “Fennel Pollen,” and “Sous-Vide,” all served up instructive information with a huge and welcome dollop of wit.

Gothamist has a review of the book as well

Born within earshot of the Bow Bells

They're giving away two midnight blue Maserati's and they're on display in Grand Censh; 500 raffle tickets / $1,000 a ticket and its for charity.

Today must be art school class trip to Grand Central day. I saw several aspiring artistes sitting on the floor at strategic points around the station drawing away. One guys stuff looked pretty good; all in pencil, reminded me of my French text book from high school. Language text books always had that certain sketchy sort of style for all their drawings. Monique is going to the movies with Phillip. Monique va au cinéma avec Phillip. And there'd be a little stick sketch of a guy and a girl walking to a movie theater.

Descend unto the bowels to refill mon MetroCard. Heard a guy playing along to a muzak version of "Sultans of Swing". I fucking love that song, always have. Has such a nice Southern lazy swing and crawl to it. Oh, and the lyrics are wonderful. Busker was jamming on that song though; the song is long as it is but this dude was just rocking. His back up music tape stopped and he kept on soloing. I loved it. I almost wanted to pay a fare just to go throw a few coins into busker's hat but I said fuck it.

Rode that tired soot escalator back upstairs with a girl with a ying/yang bag. Who still rocks the ying/yang? Her I guess. What else happened on my lunch break? Hmmmm.

I guess thats about it. Rode up on the elevator with a girl with her walkman blasting and it sounded like she was listening a cacophony of bells like a steam engine approaching. Imagine?

Werewolves of London

I haven't seen Monkey in so long. Hi!

To me it'll always be the Brendan Byrne Arena

Owwww, bitch!

So NJ has awarded naming rights to Continental Airlines Arena to the clothing maker Izod. The building will be called the Izod Center. Yeah well, to me, it'll always be the Brendan Byrne Arena.

Jay Z's Rocawear and The Khyms' Southpole had also entered bids to slap their names on the arena.

Continental opted to take its name off the 26-year-old building now that the New Jersey Devils are leaving for their new home in Newark.

OK, so this leads me to my next question: what is up with Izod and Lacoste? Is it the same thing? Are they interchangeable aliases for the same company? Is this some sort of textile incest?

Diehard NJ Devils fans

Secondly, can someone tell me when Izod or Lacoste or whateverthefuck it is woke up and became this high-end, expensive brand?! It's a fucking polo shirt with an alligator on it; but about 5 or 6 years ago, suddenly, they became this reborn force of fashion selling $70 polo shirts. When I was a kid I think I had about 3 dozen of these shirts covered in finger paint and jelly donut sugar so they definitely weren't $70 a pop back then. HOLLA!

no comment

Sun Sets on Decadent Maybach

Billionaires the world over are bummed. Mercedes-Benz's über-überluxury marketing disaster is slowly but methodically getting its plug pulled.

In 5 years Maybach has only sold 800 cars. Here in the United States, the world's biggest market for cars that cost more than houses, Maybach only sold 146 cars last year and they had planned on selling 600.

As a result 29 of the 71 US Maybach dealers (71 STORES?!?!! Bentley has like 30!) will be closing their diamond-encrusted doors.

Most will blame the demise of the re-birthed brand on the fact that both the 57 and 62 were essentially ugly, bloated S-Classes with $300,000 worth of options. And we won't refute that.

Next time though, think of some catchier names. Who thought telling an American buyer that their half a million dollar car is called "62" because it is "6.2 meters long" was a good idea?

Also, Maybach peoples, ya shoulda built the Exelero. Now that car is fucking insane!

The history of the brand (Maybach) didn't get nearly enough publicity for people to care about the brand as well; most people probably thought Maybach was made up but since Maybach had its last hurrah during the Third Reich, I suppose Mercedes couldn't glorify the history too much.

Maybach originally developed and manufactured diesel and gas engines for Zeppelins. It also contributed to the Wehrmacht war effort by producing the engines for the formidable Panther and Tiger tank. Yikes.

Over 70 dealers pushed just over 140 cars? I've got to assume that some of those dealers sold more than one or two, leading me to the conclusion that at least a couple dealers sold DICK last year. Wow.

I see quite a few of these around Manhattan, but I had no idea they sold so few of them. 10-20% of all the Maybachs must be in Manhattan then!

The bad thing about this car (aside from its horrible mutant S class looks) is the fact that you don't drive it, you have it driven for you. The Bentley Flying Spur? You could actually drive that. The Rolls Royce Phantom? You could drive that too. But if you drive this car you are the chauffeur, not the one that bought the damn thing, which is odd.

When customers decided to order a Maybach they could go to Sindelfingen, the marque’s headquarters, (or meet over a video conference centre at a dealer in their own country) to specify every and any detail they desire. Many customers will personalise their cars with their initials or coats of arms. Maybach executives liken the experience to ordering a custom-built yacht or a personalized jet aircraft. Also, with a hand-crafted finish quality, and over two million equipment options, it is unlikely that two identical cars will ever leave the factory.

Keep in mind, Warren Buffet, the dude who could buy the moon and have lunch money left over, drives a Nissan Altima.

Thoughts on Godiva

I'm not sure why I'm here; the cursor is blinking and I'm trying to think of where I wanna go with this...

I guess I always thought of Godiva as this intangible chocolate Jehovah. Like a chocolate so rich, you'd climb an active volcanic mountain, barefoot, for a just a few tiny shavings. But after doing some research for mon blog, I realised Godiva is actually owned by goddamn Campbell Soup! and has been since the late 60's!

For some reason (read: great marketing) I never pictured Godiva as a tentacle of a colossal conglomerate; owned by a company who not only deals in condensed soups but also makes Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, Prego pasta sauce and Swanson TV dinners!

I guess they've done a really good job making it appear as if Godiva is still this tiny little chocolate house in Brussels, Belgium where moms, pops and elves work day and night slaving over steaming cauldrons of silky smooth cocoa.

Here's some history:

Godiva traces its origins to a wholesale chocolatier founded in 1926 in Brussels by a guy named Joseph Draps. The chocolatier established its own shop in Brussels under its present name, a name chosen in honor of the legend of Lady Godiva.
Lady Godiva was a WASPy noblewoman who, according to legend, rode naked through the streets of Coventry, England in order to gain a remission of the oppressive toll imposed by her husband on his tenants. The name "peeping Tom" for comes from later versions of this legend in which a man named Tom watched her ride and was struck blind.

Anywho...

The first Godiva shop outside Belgium was opened in Paris in 1958; in 1966, the company's products reached the United States, where it was sold at luxury department stores. Also in 1966, the Yagudaev family sold a controlling interest in the company to Pepperidge Farm, part of Campbell, which later acquired the rest of the company. Two years later, Godiva began production of its chocolate in Reading, Pennsylvania.

So what you're telling us is that Godiva is basically just really expensive Hersheys? Figures!

I dunno; I just liked it better when Godiva was a bit more elusive. Now I feel like everywhere I turn someones selling me a Godiva chocolate brick. Just about every mall I've been to, theres a Godiva just like theres a Borders, a Ladies Foot Locker and an Applebee's. Godiva is no longer exclusive to the high end department stores, and I guess thats why Godiva boasts annual sales of approximately $500 million. They, not unlike Starbucks and American Apparel, sell a cult of personality wrapped in foil and disguised as chocolate.

I guess I just have this romanticised idea in my head of Lady Godiva and Godiva chocolate and its lost its fanciness for me. A friend and I were walking through Grand Central the other day and I realised Godiva is just no longer this special, verbotenly rich chocolatier; its become like Duane Reade.

"Shit, its Mothers Day, I didn't get mum anything; lemme throw my car at the hydrant and run into Godiva and pick up a box of chocolate. "

Godiva has become as ubiquitous as a Whitmans Sampler at Rite Aid. When I hear the word "Godiva" I think buying the chocolate should be this elaborate experience. A chocolatier should come out and talk to you for a few hours about your life and then decide which chocolate best fits you.

They've done an amazing job making a brand that has become synonymous with fancy chocolate; now its time they took the power back.

Buying a box of Godiva should be like buying a Patek Philipe from Tourneau. Godiva shouldn't be a last minute gift spot or a place to grab a candy bar; that's what Snickers and Timex are for.

Stevedores Holding Off Lattes on Red Hook Waterfront?

from Curbed:

The big city plan to redo the Red Hook waterfront with hotels, condos and cafes? The time may be drawing near to stick a fork in it.

The plan to dislodge the Red Hook port has been dying a slow twisting-in-the-wind kind of death with pieces like the cruise port expansion being twisted away and all kinds of political artillery being summoned to shoot holes in it.

The latest is a request by 20 elected officials to the Port Authority to extend the port operator's lease for ten years. The struggle is likely to continue, though, as the Port Authority and the city's Economic Development Corp. say they're still considering their options.

Also, those crafty stevedores are said to owe $1 million in back rent, which they deny.

Related:
· Politicians fight to save last Brooklyn working port {Daily News}
· Brooklyn: Officials Back Cargo Operator {NY Times}
· Grand Plan for Red Hook All but Dead {The Sun}