The World Needs A Stronger Blog...: 9/1/07

05 October 2007

The Perils of Social Networking

After a few solid years of sordid social networking, I decided to commit social networking suicide and a few months ago I deleted my MySpace profile. I felt like I'd just lost 500 lbs. Then today I saw this on Gawker:

"I ran into a couple I know but haven't seen for a while last night. "Oh my god, you guys, congratulations!" I gushed.
"Thanks but... how did you know we got ngaged?" the male half of the couple, who is the one I'm better friends with, asked. And I realized that I had read it in his Facebook profile. Also, that I was going to have to admit that."

And it reminded me of something I'd been thinking about for a while; the surreptitious stalking and vicarious information gleaning on these "social networking" sites. How do you explain it to someone?

When you run into so-and-so whom you haven't seen in person in months, but you stalked their profile a bunch of times, you know so-and-so isn't with Chad anymore, she's with Glen now and Glen is still leaving comments for Monique but so-and-so doesn't know that because Monique isn't in her extended network; what do you do?! Do you tell so-and-so? How do explain that you know she's with Glen now if she's never told you herself? Do you let on that you stalk her profile? Everyone does it; EV-ERY-ONE.

I mean, who doesn't love surreptitiously watching relationships develop and get demolished on these sites?

First theres some cute pawing at each other, flirty picture comments and the like, then it gets serious, its intense, lots of romantic pablum and "I'm so lucky" posts, then it starts to deteriorate, no comments for a few days, weeks, so-and-so drops down a few slots in the "Top 8" or "Top 24" or whatever, before you know it Harry is number #2 in her tops and Glen is all the way down in the last row with the bands! Then one day Glen is gone altogether and so-and-so status now says "single".

And this is how we "socially network" in 2007; in lieu of speaking or mingling, we electronically stalk each other and spy on each other. How gross!

We glean like dirty voyeurs, even discussing it with others who also "know" but then when we finally run into these people we feel like we're privy to info that they don't know we're privy to; and its not our fault; they've put it on display. Some people obviously love to have their lives like open books on these sites. It's a very, very odd phenomenon.

When is right to play dumb? Would you let someone tell you an entire story that you feel you already know because you've watched it unfold on their MySpace page?

I've been thinking of writing a book about relationships in the new era of social networking sites; the pro's and con's, the downfalls and the advantages. I know some people, guys and girls, who use it as their pimp hand, and some who blame it for destroying that very same flow. When Tonya sees what Tamika said on your page, your cover is blown. You've gotta go underground. I'm sure there must be so many tales out there of relationships and heartbreak all thanks to these sites and the fresh and foreign situations they inspire.

MySpace may be done with its BETA version, but we as humans are still figuring out how to handle their invention.

That's why I've decided to deal in reality only from now on; if not face to face than letters with stamps and that's it.

Ugh. It's Friday. I'm going home. I've gotta go check my AOL like its '95.

Have a good weekend everybody! HOLLA!

The Karlton Hines Story

"Beginning at the age of 12, Karlton Hines was destined for the basketball court, tearing up the pavement at the street pickup games he would invariably win. But Karlton was pulled in another direction as well, called to the life of the street; reaching college age he attracted attention from every top Division I college in the country, but he was reluctant to abandon his roots. While coaches ventured to the projects from their suburban enclaves, Karlton got more and more involved with the underground world of the street, and at 18 he was a major player in the drug industry. Karlton's fate, however, was not one he would ultimately choose, as he met his tragic end at the wrong end of a gun barrel."

Seagull Thief - Watch more free videos

Yo everybody chill; MF Doom is doing aiight, I think

Lots of rumours out there about my boy MF Doom. And I doubt he'd want it any other way.

After Doom allegedly sent in an impostor to play his show in San Fran in August and subsequently canceled the rest of his tour he was scheduled to play the New York-Tokyo Music Festival on 22 September.

The masked sadist never showed, of course, and it was announced that Doom canceled “because he’s in the hospital fighting or his life.”

Rakim played a short set in his place and even apparently offered a “moment of silence” for Doom.

But one of Doom’s labels, Stones Throw, issued a statement denying those rumors last week. It read, in part:

"Every day for the past month we’ve been hit up by people wanting explanations, statements, clarifications, and declarations about MF DOOM. Is he lip syncing? (No. Listen to the videos on Youtube.) Is he an impostor? (No, but he did lose some pounds.) Is he in the hospital? (No, he’s in his studio… or if not there, you can find him in the pub with the grub stain.)"

Reached at his home in Georgia, an alive and well MF DOOM issued this statement: “What up? I’m dead.”

Devin Horwitz, a close friend of Doom’s and president of Nature Sounds, another of the rapper’s labels, says “Doom was sick but it was nothing life threatening. He wasn’t feeling well before, but he’s fine now, and fans don’t need to be concerned.”

Horwitz says he hasn’t spoken with him specifically regarding the New York-Tokyo Music Festival or the San Fran show, but adds that he seriously doubts Doom ever used an impostor or lip-synced.

The Stones Throw link is now dead, which is perhaps not surprising, as it raises more questions that it answers. First of all, YouTube videos like this one (check out the 1:20 mark) are more incriminating than exonerating.

Second, why deny the existence of an impostor, without explaining what happened at the gig?

And third, if Doom’s so healthy he’s cavorting at pubs, why does he keep missing shows?

Maybe this is the craziest publicity stunt Doom has pulled. Maybe he’s actually been dead for six weeks. Fuck, Doom, what up?

Single mother from Minnesota ordered to pay $220,000 for sharing 24 songs online

In the first U.S. trial to challenge the illegal downloading of music on the net, a single mother from Minnesota was ordered Thursday to pay $220,000 for sharing 24 songs online!

Jammie Thomas, 30, was the first among more than 26,000 people sued by the world's most powerful recording companies to refuse a settlement after being slapped with a lawsuit by the Recording Industry of America and six major music labels.

She turned down an offer to pay a few thousands dollars in fines and instead took the case to court, and lost.

Unlike some who insist on the right to share files over the net, Thomas says she was wrongfully targeted by SafeNet, a contractor employed by the recording industry to patrol the internet for copyrighted material. Rats!

Her lawyer said earlier this week that she had racked up some $60,000 in legal fees because she refused to be bullied.

And while Thomas insisted on the courthouse steps that she had never downloaded or uploaded music, her lawyer tried to convince jurors there was no way to prove who had uploaded songs on the Kazaa file sharing network.

A jury took just 5 hours to decide that evidence provided by the music labels showed otherwise and found Thomas guilty of copyright infringement!

Thomas, an employee of the Mille Lacs Band of Ojibwe, an Indian tribe, was ordered to pay a $9,250-fine for each of 24 shared songs cited in the case.

Some of the songs she shared were Godsmack's "Spiral," Destiny's Child's "Bills, Bills, Bills" and Sara McLachlan's "Building a Mystery." I think she should walk free for the file sharing but be fined $4M for distributing such shit music.

The fine could have reached $150,000 PER SONG if the jury had found "willful" copyright infringement. Had the record companies sued her for all 1,702 songs found in the online folder the fine could have run in the millions.

Fuck this shit. CD's are dead. Record companies are dead. Someday music stores & music sections in electronic stores will be dusty catacombs. It's done. It's SO done; they're just trying to make some cash wherever they can now. If they can't sell records, they'll just sue everyone with a computer.

Blackwater got bitchslapped

If you follow mon blog, you know I've been following this bizarre Blackwater phenom.

Well, today the House of Reps passed a bill basically saying private soldiers are no longer above the law! It came only two days after the founder of Blackwater, Erik Prince, gave evidence to Congress denying his cowboy guards had ever killed innocent Iraqi civilians.

From the Guardian:

"The House of Representatives today passed a bill to end the immunity of private security companies such as Blackwater in war zones.

Blackwater, at the centre of a controversy over the killing of at least 11 civilians in Baghdad last month, is, like the other 170 private security companies operating in the country, subject to neither US nor Iraqi law.

The House bill closes this loophole. It secured the support of both Democrats and Republicans and was passed with an overwhelming majority, 389 to 30.

Blackwater provides security for the US ambassador in Iraq, Ryan Crocker, and other US diplomats.

Although US soldiers have faced court martials and other military hearings, not a single private guard has been charged in relation to killings in Iraq. Democrats portrayed the vote as an indictment of the Baghdad shootings.

Although some Republican senators described the wording of the House bill as sloppy, Democratic leaders in the senate said they intend to push forward with a similar bill. They said they wanted the legislation to go to the president as quickly as possible. "

ABC will eat itself

The 27-year old ABC No Rio, ye olde non-profit art and activism community center at 156 Rivinton, has decided to raze the building and construct a new one. So after all that "Save ABC" hoopla, the inmates have decided to tear down the asylum themselves? To that I say touché!

From their site...

New Construction at ABC No Rio...

It has been an exciting year since ABC No Rio acquired the property at 156 Rivington Street. Our collective, our board, our community has met to discuss the future of this place.

Local architect Paul Castrucci has been working with No Rio towards the design of a new facility. The building at 156 Rivington Street is distressed and in disrepair. We've determined that existing conditions are such that responsible repair and renovation would be difficult and not significantly less costly than new construction.

Through new construction we will build dramatically improved facilities and resources for our cultural, community and educational activities.

Over the course of the past several months, we met many times, assessed our current and future needs, and now have plans for a new building on the site.

New construction will expand our first floor gallery and performance space; install new building-wide systems (electrical, plumbing, heating); provide disabled access to areas used for public events; and create more useful and efficient workshop facilities. Our approach will be towards green and sustainable design: energy efficiency and conservation, use of local and recycled materials, and the installation of a green roof.

mind if i grab a quick shower?

Through this project we will augment and enhance ABC No Rio's use of the site for all our projects and programs. It will cost almost $2 million...

Muahahhaha I'm Steve Englander, the director of ABC No Rio.

Gothamist interviews Ira Glass; the brains, heart and larynx behind the wildly popular program This American Life.

Canis lupus dingo

The dingo (plural dingoes or dingos) or warrigal, Canis lupus dingo, is a type of wild dog, probably descended from the Indian Wolf, canis Indica. It is commonly described as an Australian wild dog, but is not restricted to Australia, and apparently it didn't even originate there. Odd.

Modern dingoes are found throughout Southeast Asia, mostly in small pockets of remaining natural forest, and in mainland Australia, particularly in the north. They have features in common with both wolves and modern dogs, and are regarded as more or less unchanged descendants of an early ancestor of modern dogs.

The name dingo comes from the language of the Eora Aboriginal people, who were the original inhabitants of the Sydney area.

The Australian animals may be descendants of Asian dingoes that were introduced to the continent some 2,000 to 3,000 years ago.

These golden-orange lovebirds may live alone, especially the young males - like bachelors; they can also live in packs of up to 15 animals. They roam great distances and communicate with wolf-like howls.

Dingo hunting is opportunistic; they hunt alone or in cooperative packs. They pursue small game such as rabbits, rodents, birds, and lizards in addition to larger prey such as kangaroos, sheep and deer. These dogs will eat fruits and plants as well. They also scavenge from humans, particularly in their Asian range.

Dingoes breed only once a year. Femme Dingoes typically give birth to about five pups, which are not independent until six to eight months of age. In packs, a dominant breeding female will kill the offspring of other females. Bitchy Dingoes!

Australia is home to so many of these animals that they are generally considered cute, but pests!

A famous "dingo fence" has been erected to protect grazing lands for the continent's herds of sheep. It is likely that more dingoes live in Australia today than when Europeans first arrived.

Though dingoes are numerous, their pure genetic strain is gradually being compromised. They can and do interbreed with domestic dogs to produce hybrid animals. Studies suggest that more than a third of southeastern Australia's dingoes are hybrids. I think my dog is part Dingo actually.

Dingoes are a little smaller than wolves. Dingoes have a lean, athletic build. Male dingoes are larger than females. Males weigh 26 to 43 pounds and females weigh 21 to 35 pounds.

Dingoes have unique wrists in the canine world, capable of rotatation. This enables dingoes to use their paws like hands and turn door knobs! Their ability to go where other dogs can't means dingoes can cause more problems for humans than other wild members of the dog family can.

Dingo colour varies but is usually ginger: some have a reddish tinge, others are more sandy yellow, and some are even black; the underside is lighter.

Alpine dingoes are found in high elevation areas of the Australian Alps, and grow a second thicker coat during late autumn for warmth which usually sheds by mid to late spring.

Most dingoes have white markings on the chest, feet, and the tip of the tail; some have a blackish muzzle. They can live for up to 15 years in captivity, but have a more usual lifespan of 3-7 years :(

The earliest known dingo skulls have been found in Vietnam and are about 5,500 years old. Dingo remains from 5,000 to 2,500 years old have been found in other parts of South-east Asia, and the earliest fossil record of dingoes in Australia is 3,500 years old. Dingo-like bones have also been found in Israel and the West Bank dating 14,000 years old! Dinosaur Dingoes!

Dingoes have a more independent temperament than domestic dogs. They are extremely agile and are known to climb trees. Like my dog!

Modern dogs are believed to be the result of artificial selection of various traits from a single domestication of the grey wolf about 15,000 years ago: the modern dingo appears to be a relatively pure-bred descendant of one of the earliest domestications!

Aboriginal people across the continent adopted the dingo as a companion animal, using it to assist with hunting and for warmth on cold nights. (The terms "two-dog night" and "three-dog night" are believed to come from Aboriginal idiom, describing the overnight temperature.)

The laws concerning keeping dingoes as pets are inconsistent from one state to another in Australia. It is recommended that if dingoes are to be pets, they be adopted at a young age in order to help them bond with humans. However, dingoes are wild dogs and have strong hunting instincts. They may kill birds and small animals, and get into fights with other similarly sized mammals. When hunting larger animals, dingoes hassle or annoy their prey until the prey is off balance or tired, and the dingoes can attack. They are accustomed to fighting for rank within the pack, and may do the same thing when playing or interacting with other domestic dogs, resulting in dog fights and the appearance of the dingo as the aggressive animal. Like other hunting dogs, dingoes need to be heavily worked in order to be happy and they need space to run

Remember that Seinfeld thing "The dingo ate your baby"?, well it came from a few stories.

Dingoes have received bad publicity in recent years as a result of the highly publicised Azaria Chamberlain disappearance and also because of dingo attacks on Fraser Island in Queensland.

In 2001 around 200 dingoes lived on the island, and 20 people were attacked in the preceding six years. In April 2001 a nine-year-old child was killed in one such attack near Waddy Point on Fraser Island. This led to a cull of the animals which were actually protected by law. The owners of the island, the Ngulungbara people, fought the cull through a legal injunction.

In all, 65 dingoes were eventually killed. In 2004 more legal battles began after a dingo entered a bedroom in Kingfisher Bay resort where two young children were present. More recently in September 2006 a dingo was shot dead by Parks and Wildlife rangers after it attacked a four-year-old child who had been playing in shallow water near Eurong on the island.

sleepy Dingo

New Nas joint

Nas "Surviving The Times"

We Remember: Nice & Smooth

Nice & Smooth was from NY. It was Greg Mays (a/k/a Greg Nice) and Daryl Barnes (a/k/a Smooth B). They released a ton of albums in the late 80's and early 90's to little popular appeal, but their second album, "Ain't a Damn Thing Changed", was a commercial success with the hit in "Sometimes I Rhyme Slow"... sometimes I rhyme quick..quick...quick.

But I think Nice & Smooth may best be known for their guest appearances - namely the one with Gang Starr on "DWYCK" ... remember "Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is..."

I guess Tupac was gonna sign Nice & Smooth to his Makaveli label but then he got shot.

Ah yeah, here's another Gangstarr sure shot, featuring the one and
only, uh heh heh heh handly handly boy, Nice & Smooth, hey, hey,
HEY, HEY!!!!

Ganstarr has got to be da sure shot
Nice & Smooth has got to be da sure shot
(Repeat 2X)

[Greg Nice]

Greg Nice!!! Greg N-I-C-E
Droppin dem basso, ah oui oui
Rock for a fee, not for free
Maybe I'll do it for charity
Now my employer or my employee
Is makin Greg N-I-C-E very M-A-D
Don't ever ever think of jerkin me
I work to hard for my royalty
Put lead in ya ass and drink a cup of tea
Peace to Red Alert and Kid Capri
Ooohh la la ah oui oui, I say Muhammad Ali, ya say Cassius Clay
I say butter you say Parkay
It's alright if ya wanna make a sway
I'm a way up town, took deuce to the tre
I originate, they duplicate
I praise the lord and keep the faith
It's alright keep bitin at da bait
'92, uh!!, one year later
Peace out Premier take me out wit da fader

[Premier scratches and hooks]

[Guru]

I chant eenie meenie, minie moe
I wreck da mic like a pimp pimps hoes
Here's how it goes I am a genius I mean this
I shake this you'll take this
I'm kinda fiendish
You wish that you could come into my neighborhood
Meaning my mental state
Still I'm 5 foot 8
Crazy as I wanna be
Cause I make it orderly
You could say I'm sorta da boss so get lost
The brotha dat will make you change opinions
Dominions I'm in them when it's time to kick shit from
The heart, plus I get a piece of the action
I'm feelin satisfaction from the street crowd reaction
Chumps pull guns when they feel afraid, too late
When they dip in the kick they get sprayed
Lemonade was a popular drink and in still is
I get more props den stunts den Bruce Willis
A poet like Langston Hughes and can't lose when I cruise
Out on the expressway
Leavin the Bodega I say "suave"
Premier's got more beats den barns got hay
Clips are inserted into my gun
So I can take the money, neva have ta run

[Premier scratches and hooks]

[Smooth B]

I left my Phillie at home
Do you have another?
I wanna get blunted my brother
Now may I make a mark
Then make a spark over this phat track
Or should I say dope beat
Subtract, delete
All of the wick wack that wanna be abstract
But they lack the new knack that's comin from way way back
Hey yo Premier, please pass that buddha sack
You hear we quit?
No way, bullshit
I told ya before we come back wit more hits
I provide bright flava, so you could sketch me
Do me a favor, dont try and catch me
Slightly ahead of the game, I'm not a lame
Ask him, he'll tell you the same he knows my name
Smooth, I drop jewels like, paraphernalia
I'm infallible, not into failure
Like a rhinoceros, my speed is prosperous
And pure knowledge expands from my esophagus
I write here tonite to bring truth to the light
My dialogue is my own cause Smooth B will neva bite

I took the plunge

and now I think I might be hooked...

So I did some serious appointment television last night. 8:30 I was in front of the flat screen ready for my virgin 30 Rock experience and it wasn't all bad!

In fact, I chuckled, I chortled and I even tsk tsk'd. I forgot how fast television shows were, its like 18 minutes of show the rest is commercials. Seinfeld was funny, Tracy Morgan hardly ever disappoints, Tina Fey's scar was on point, and Alec Baldwin is a genius.

I may even tune in again next week. Fuck, whats happening to me?!!

I caught the tail end of that Jason Lee show and it was not very funny at all; as subtle as a large print book I thought.

Yo son, J-Lo be all pregnant like wuuuut

HOLLA!

Can you spot Mr. White?

click pic to enlarge

What the F, Bill? Why did you bring 20 goons with you to go window shopping in London? And why the fuck didn't you stop at Harvie & Hudson?!?!! HELLO???!

This, from the Daily Mail:

"Whoever said it's lonely at the top, it wasn't Bill Clinton.

The former President is constantly surrounded by an entourage of more than 20 bodyguards.

So when he attended a book signing in London on Thursday, he brought a crowd of his own.

The one-time US leader looked like he was auditioning for a part in Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs.

The burly men in suits fanned out around 61-year-old Mr Clinton as he went window shopping in Jermyn Street before arriving at the Piccadilly branch of Waterstone's.

Fortunately for the former resident of the White House, they turned out to be heavily outnumbered by 1,000 or so fans who bought his book Giving - How Each of Us Can Change the World.

Mr Clinton stood down in 2001. Former Presidents and their spouses are entitled to be guarded by the Secret Service for ten years after they leave office.

He flew to Britain to attend a fundraising meeting at a private house in Windsor for Democrats Abroad.

His wife Hillary is a frontrunner to win the Democrats' presidential nomination."

click pic to enlarge

Red Sox Fan Attacked in Yonkers

This is like when The Exploited would tell their audience to go beat up the people letting out of the disco down the street.

A Red Sox fan was attacked outside of a Yonkers hotel in the wee hours of Thursday morning.

I guess two dudes were at the Ramada hotel bar on Tuckahoe Road Wednesday night watching the Red Sox game. After the game one of the men, who was wearing a Red Sox baseball hat and jersey, was leaving the hotel when he was approached by a man from behind.

Red Sox lovin' Carlos Ortez was attacked sustaining multiple fractures to several bones in his face. As of this morning, Ortez remained in ICU at Westchester Medical Center.

The DA said two dudes from Pennsylvania no less, Duane Somers, 32, and Edward McConaughey, 42, were arrested and charged with assault.

I dunno... I wouldn't go wearing my Yankees gear to a bar on Lansdowne, I guess you shouldn't roll up to Yonkers in your Red Sox uniform.

Corporate Vipers

Over the course of a day I'd say I probably hold 4 or 5 doors for people; throw in an elevator save here or there and I'm a pretty good dude. So I've started to realise we are now shortening the valediction "Thanks". It has been shortened to simple "nks" and it almost sounds like a snake's hiss. So when you hold the door for someone, you'll probably hear a gentle, discreet, whispered "inks" just know that means "Thanks". Just an FYI for those of you in the corporate environ.

The Food Snobs Dictionary: Oochie Wally Wally, Oochie Bang Bang

Food Snob n: reference term for the sort of food obsessive for whom the actual joy of eating and cooking is but a side dish to the accumulation of arcane knowledge about these subjects

From the author of The United States of Arugula--and coauthor of The Film Snob’s Dictionary and The Rock Snob’s Dictionary--a delectable compendium of food facts, terminology, and famous names that gives ordinary folk the wherewithal to take down the Food Snobs--or join their zealous ranks.

Open a menu and there they are, those confusing references to “grass-fed” beef, “farmstead” blue cheese, and “dry-farmed” fruits. It doesn’t help that your dinner companions have moved on to such heady topics as the future of the organic movement, or the seminal culinary contributions of Elizabeth Drew and Fernand Point. David Kamp, who demystified the worlds of rock and film for grateful readers, explains it all and more, in The Food Snobs Dictionary.

Both entertaining and authentically informative, The Food Snob’s Dictionary travels through the alphabet explaining the buzz-terms that fuel the food-obsessed, from “Affinage” to “Zest,” with stops along the way for “Cardoons,” “Fennel Pollen,” and “Sous-Vide,” all served up instructive information with a huge and welcome dollop of wit.

Gothamist has a review of the book as well

Born within earshot of the Bow Bells

They're giving away two midnight blue Maserati's and they're on display in Grand Censh; 500 raffle tickets / $1,000 a ticket and its for charity.

Today must be art school class trip to Grand Central day. I saw several aspiring artistes sitting on the floor at strategic points around the station drawing away. One guys stuff looked pretty good; all in pencil, reminded me of my French text book from high school. Language text books always had that certain sketchy sort of style for all their drawings. Monique is going to the movies with Phillip. Monique va au cinéma avec Phillip. And there'd be a little stick sketch of a guy and a girl walking to a movie theater.

Descend unto the bowels to refill mon MetroCard. Heard a guy playing along to a muzak version of "Sultans of Swing". I fucking love that song, always have. Has such a nice Southern lazy swing and crawl to it. Oh, and the lyrics are wonderful. Busker was jamming on that song though; the song is long as it is but this dude was just rocking. His back up music tape stopped and he kept on soloing. I loved it. I almost wanted to pay a fare just to go throw a few coins into busker's hat but I said fuck it.

Rode that tired soot escalator back upstairs with a girl with a ying/yang bag. Who still rocks the ying/yang? Her I guess. What else happened on my lunch break? Hmmmm.

I guess thats about it. Rode up on the elevator with a girl with her walkman blasting and it sounded like she was listening a cacophony of bells like a steam engine approaching. Imagine?

Werewolves of London

I haven't seen Monkey in so long. Hi!

To me it'll always be the Brendan Byrne Arena

Owwww, bitch!

So NJ has awarded naming rights to Continental Airlines Arena to the clothing maker Izod. The building will be called the Izod Center. Yeah well, to me, it'll always be the Brendan Byrne Arena.

Jay Z's Rocawear and The Khyms' Southpole had also entered bids to slap their names on the arena.

Continental opted to take its name off the 26-year-old building now that the New Jersey Devils are leaving for their new home in Newark.

OK, so this leads me to my next question: what is up with Izod and Lacoste? Is it the same thing? Are they interchangeable aliases for the same company? Is this some sort of textile incest?

Diehard NJ Devils fans

Secondly, can someone tell me when Izod or Lacoste or whateverthefuck it is woke up and became this high-end, expensive brand?! It's a fucking polo shirt with an alligator on it; but about 5 or 6 years ago, suddenly, they became this reborn force of fashion selling $70 polo shirts. When I was a kid I think I had about 3 dozen of these shirts covered in finger paint and jelly donut sugar so they definitely weren't $70 a pop back then. HOLLA!

no comment

Sun Sets on Decadent Maybach

Billionaires the world over are bummed. Mercedes-Benz's über-überluxury marketing disaster is slowly but methodically getting its plug pulled.

In 5 years Maybach has only sold 800 cars. Here in the United States, the world's biggest market for cars that cost more than houses, Maybach only sold 146 cars last year and they had planned on selling 600.

As a result 29 of the 71 US Maybach dealers (71 STORES?!?!! Bentley has like 30!) will be closing their diamond-encrusted doors.

Most will blame the demise of the re-birthed brand on the fact that both the 57 and 62 were essentially ugly, bloated S-Classes with $300,000 worth of options. And we won't refute that.

Next time though, think of some catchier names. Who thought telling an American buyer that their half a million dollar car is called "62" because it is "6.2 meters long" was a good idea?

Also, Maybach peoples, ya shoulda built the Exelero. Now that car is fucking insane!

The history of the brand (Maybach) didn't get nearly enough publicity for people to care about the brand as well; most people probably thought Maybach was made up but since Maybach had its last hurrah during the Third Reich, I suppose Mercedes couldn't glorify the history too much.

Maybach originally developed and manufactured diesel and gas engines for Zeppelins. It also contributed to the Wehrmacht war effort by producing the engines for the formidable Panther and Tiger tank. Yikes.

Over 70 dealers pushed just over 140 cars? I've got to assume that some of those dealers sold more than one or two, leading me to the conclusion that at least a couple dealers sold DICK last year. Wow.

I see quite a few of these around Manhattan, but I had no idea they sold so few of them. 10-20% of all the Maybachs must be in Manhattan then!

The bad thing about this car (aside from its horrible mutant S class looks) is the fact that you don't drive it, you have it driven for you. The Bentley Flying Spur? You could actually drive that. The Rolls Royce Phantom? You could drive that too. But if you drive this car you are the chauffeur, not the one that bought the damn thing, which is odd.

When customers decided to order a Maybach they could go to Sindelfingen, the marque’s headquarters, (or meet over a video conference centre at a dealer in their own country) to specify every and any detail they desire. Many customers will personalise their cars with their initials or coats of arms. Maybach executives liken the experience to ordering a custom-built yacht or a personalized jet aircraft. Also, with a hand-crafted finish quality, and over two million equipment options, it is unlikely that two identical cars will ever leave the factory.

Keep in mind, Warren Buffet, the dude who could buy the moon and have lunch money left over, drives a Nissan Altima.

Thoughts on Godiva

I'm not sure why I'm here; the cursor is blinking and I'm trying to think of where I wanna go with this...

I guess I always thought of Godiva as this intangible chocolate Jehovah. Like a chocolate so rich, you'd climb an active volcanic mountain, barefoot, for a just a few tiny shavings. But after doing some research for mon blog, I realised Godiva is actually owned by goddamn Campbell Soup! and has been since the late 60's!

For some reason (read: great marketing) I never pictured Godiva as a tentacle of a colossal conglomerate; owned by a company who not only deals in condensed soups but also makes Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, Prego pasta sauce and Swanson TV dinners!

I guess they've done a really good job making it appear as if Godiva is still this tiny little chocolate house in Brussels, Belgium where moms, pops and elves work day and night slaving over steaming cauldrons of silky smooth cocoa.

Here's some history:

Godiva traces its origins to a wholesale chocolatier founded in 1926 in Brussels by a guy named Joseph Draps. The chocolatier established its own shop in Brussels under its present name, a name chosen in honor of the legend of Lady Godiva.
Lady Godiva was a WASPy noblewoman who, according to legend, rode naked through the streets of Coventry, England in order to gain a remission of the oppressive toll imposed by her husband on his tenants. The name "peeping Tom" for comes from later versions of this legend in which a man named Tom watched her ride and was struck blind.

Anywho...

The first Godiva shop outside Belgium was opened in Paris in 1958; in 1966, the company's products reached the United States, where it was sold at luxury department stores. Also in 1966, the Yagudaev family sold a controlling interest in the company to Pepperidge Farm, part of Campbell, which later acquired the rest of the company. Two years later, Godiva began production of its chocolate in Reading, Pennsylvania.

So what you're telling us is that Godiva is basically just really expensive Hersheys? Figures!

I dunno; I just liked it better when Godiva was a bit more elusive. Now I feel like everywhere I turn someones selling me a Godiva chocolate brick. Just about every mall I've been to, theres a Godiva just like theres a Borders, a Ladies Foot Locker and an Applebee's. Godiva is no longer exclusive to the high end department stores, and I guess thats why Godiva boasts annual sales of approximately $500 million. They, not unlike Starbucks and American Apparel, sell a cult of personality wrapped in foil and disguised as chocolate.

I guess I just have this romanticised idea in my head of Lady Godiva and Godiva chocolate and its lost its fanciness for me. A friend and I were walking through Grand Central the other day and I realised Godiva is just no longer this special, verbotenly rich chocolatier; its become like Duane Reade.

"Shit, its Mothers Day, I didn't get mum anything; lemme throw my car at the hydrant and run into Godiva and pick up a box of chocolate. "

Godiva has become as ubiquitous as a Whitmans Sampler at Rite Aid. When I hear the word "Godiva" I think buying the chocolate should be this elaborate experience. A chocolatier should come out and talk to you for a few hours about your life and then decide which chocolate best fits you.

They've done an amazing job making a brand that has become synonymous with fancy chocolate; now its time they took the power back.

Buying a box of Godiva should be like buying a Patek Philipe from Tourneau. Godiva shouldn't be a last minute gift spot or a place to grab a candy bar; that's what Snickers and Timex are for.

Stevedores Holding Off Lattes on Red Hook Waterfront?

from Curbed:

The big city plan to redo the Red Hook waterfront with hotels, condos and cafes? The time may be drawing near to stick a fork in it.

The plan to dislodge the Red Hook port has been dying a slow twisting-in-the-wind kind of death with pieces like the cruise port expansion being twisted away and all kinds of political artillery being summoned to shoot holes in it.

The latest is a request by 20 elected officials to the Port Authority to extend the port operator's lease for ten years. The struggle is likely to continue, though, as the Port Authority and the city's Economic Development Corp. say they're still considering their options.

Also, those crafty stevedores are said to owe $1 million in back rent, which they deny.

Related:
· Politicians fight to save last Brooklyn working port {Daily News}
· Brooklyn: Officials Back Cargo Operator {NY Times}
· Grand Plan for Red Hook All but Dead {The Sun}

Diving Helmets

Q: Whats one of your favourite records of all time?

Appointment Television

I've never been down with TV, really. A little bit here or there but I'm not religious about it. Radio and documentaries have always been my preference. I will say HBO gave people like me a run for our money though; at times The Sopranos and Six Feet Under were quite hard not to follow.

Just about everyday on the elevator I'll overhear people passionately discussing this show or that show; inquisitively asking each other: "Did you see Heroes last night?"; "My wife TiVo'd Big Love, gotta get home and watch that"; "Gotta catch up on Weeds this weekend. That show is uh-mazing!"; "Did you catch Californication last weekend? Holy Fuckshit!"... For most of these shows the first time I'm hearing about them is when I overhear these crashing bores vibrantly discussing them!

Its maddening, I tell you, maddening!, this appointment television phenom!

That being said, I think tonight I'm going to try and catch the season premier of 30 Rock. Seems like a show I might dig; I've always loved dramatised behind-the-curtain movies about TV or radio. Plus I think my boy Seinfeld has a cameo tonight and you can't ever go wrong there. I'll let you know how it goes. Chances are I'll totally forget, so if you know me, send me a text and remind me, K? It's on tonight at 8:30 on NBC 4.

If I Ruled The World...

My perfect world would be hand written letters and payphones.
Old records and old cars.
Guys opening doors for girls and waiting for them to sit down before they sit down.
Waiting for them to start eating before they eat.
dudes wouldn't wear pants hanging off their ass and hats like big buckets with stickers still on them and dudes wouldn't wear Hercules sandals, either
dudes would wear suits, always.
always dressed up.
ever see old photos of basbeall games back in the day?
men had on suits, fedoras, cigars, ties and sparkling shoes
they weren't painting their chests with beer helmets
and eating nacho cheese dip off their gut like a table
women would dress very german
totalitarian, always
lots of long coats with buttons and everything very well-tailoured
think WW2 britain and germany
the world may've been a mess then but we had our fashion straight up and down.
we'd put driving gloves in our "glove comparments" not ketchup packets
There'd be no cell phones, no "social networking sites"
People would talk in person and make distant plans to meet
They'd send postcards to each other saying "meet me here in 3 weeks at 4 o'clock"
and they'd be there, 3 weeks later, at 4 o'clock waiting
Conversation and white wine would flow the same
endlessly getting better the longer it carries on
deeper and deeper like a spiral staircase
the nights would fade into days into nights
it would always be fall, cool crisp wind
There'd be dogs everywhere
under the covers, in the yard, in the house, on the porch
digging and play-fighting
We could live and love with reckless abandon
We could assume eternal supply and it would be there for us
We could live like kids forever
Carefree
unchained hearts
no tragedy
No death, no taxes, no bills, no bullshit
Just love and art and impulsiveness and spontaneity
and long drives with the windows down
and books and books and books and books and books
and music, always, constantly
silence only in our heads when we sleep
darkness only in our heads when we close our eyes
when we wake, there's music
rock, folk, soul, doo wop, garage, blues, classical, punk, dance, rap,
news on the AM radio
little kids learning to play the piano
everything
and everything would taste Mediterranean
and smell like old cobblestones just before a storm

Police Report 4 Fires in at The Capitol

U.S. Capitol Police reported four fires in Senate office buildings about an hour ago. All were extinguished by midafternoon as an investigation continued.

The fires are reported to be very suspicious.

How many times does the RA have to tell you?! NO HOT PLATES IN THE DORMS!!

Confessions of a komplete coffee hypocrite

God, I've been talking a lot of shit on Starbucks lately. I guess it has been on my mind so much that over the past week or so I've sort of automatically and mindlessly wandered into two different locations and ordered myself a goddamn venti vanilla latte!

I always feel like such an asshole just ordering it. How can you not? They've made it that way. The act of simply placing your order has this sort of air of pomposity; and don't think this is some sort of coincidence. It's all been planned out very carefully and psychologically. Ordering something that sounds fancy will mentally distract/justify the $5 you just paid for a hot cup of water. These people are the geniuses, we are the idiots, K?

So then the cashier (or whatever they're being called now - wampum collectors?) has to call it out to the stupid "barista" and I get douchechills all over again!

Its kinda like going to the supermarket for your girls tampons and they have to call it out on the loudspeaker for a price check - that old gag.

It's bad enough I'm in there, guilty as charged; now I just wanna get out.

Perhaps I'll pretend its a bank robbery and I'll write down what I want on a napkin and slide it to the cashier. "No funny business. Don't scream. Don't yell. Gimme a venti vanilla latte. Fast."

I must also admit "the holidays" are a very vulnerable time for me with The Starbucks because I am a total sucker for their eggnog, gingerbread and pumpkin latte concoctions. I fell in love with those on tour.

Now, Dunkin Donuts still makes better straight up coffee (and I'll take diner or coffee cart coffee over them all), but when you're going for those pompous latte concoctions, it is with great shame I must admit, Starbucks doesn't do a bad job.

That is why I stand before you guilty as charged: A total coffee hypocrite.

Remembering Pizza Rustica

It's a dog eat dog world out there. I realised the other day my favourite Pizza Rustica has closed its doors; lost its lease. Hidden in plain sight on Lexington between 45th & 46th, the place was a hidden portal of deelish. You could step in, out off the busy bustle of Lexington at lunch hour and step into a labyrinth world of deep crimson tomato sauce and mini chocolate cannolis. The owner was always there, small, fragile and Italian with a starched shirt and impeccable suspenders. The hole-in-the-wall storefront belied the cavernous secret seating area in the back and the seemingly endless maze of catering trays and counters.

Goodbye Pizza Rustica, we won't forget you.

Which reminds me of something I'd been meaning to mention...

What's the deal with pizza cartoons and clipart? 9 times out of 10 pizza cartoonery will ALWAYS ALWAYS have pepperoni or some sort of topping; hardly ever will you see a plain slice or -GASP - a plain pie! What gives?

Why is the quintessential "pizza clipart" ALWAYS topped with pepperoni???!?

Would we not recognise the worlds most delicious food if it was drawn naked sans toppings? I smell a conspiracy. Here are some examples: (I didn't have to search very hard to make my case)

My Life with SSD

For a dude from New York to grow up listening to SSD was sorta weird. I must've found one of their records back before I knew what any of this shit was. I saw the cover, it looked cool and I bought it. Not unlike Sick Of It All's "Blood Sweat and No Tears". Same concept.

"SS Decontrol (aka Society System Decontrol) led the charge of Boston HC bands that blew up close on the heels of the DC scene. Their take on hardcore and the new straight edge ideology was extremely aggressive, and would change the way punk was played forever. Comprised of guitarist Al Barile, vocalist David Spring("Springa"), bassist Jamie Sciarappa, and drummer Chris Foley, they were one of the first Boston hardcore bands and the core of the infamous "Boston Crew." From what I understand, Al wrote most of the music and lyrics, but the heart of SSD is the insane vocal work of Springa, whose unique growl and heavy Massachusettes
accent make for a totally distinct sound.

Influenced by Discharge and Minor Threat, SS Decontrol began their career as strict adherents to and (very strict) proponents of "the straight edge." Also advocates of the nascent DIY hardcore philosophy, the band started their own independent record label, XClaim, and did not appear on (larger label) Modern Method's seminal compilation, This is Boston Not L.A. This is also possibly due to the large divide between the Boston Crew and less "hardcore" bands like the Proletariat and the Freeze. It's also been told that SS Decontrol are the "narrow minds who think the narrow way" mentioned in the liner notes to Boston Not LA.

Along with fellow band DYS and the rest of the Boston Crew, SS Decontrol quickly gained a reputation for hardline straight edge militancy. Although their lyrics depicted "the Choice" as one of free-thinking youth dedicated to improving society, rumours spread across the country of straight edge Boston skinheads knocking beers out of people's hands and harassing and beating up non-straightedgers. Most famous was the Boston-New York rivalry (where Boston kids at a show in New York would draw X's on their foreheads, "so if you grabbed a bald head in the pit and saw no X you'd know to punch them as they were from NYC.").

In 1982, SS Decontrol recorded the classic The Kids Will Have Their Say 12". By putting out the record as a split release with Minor Threat's Dischord Records, the band hoped to use the Washington, D.C. label's already established reputation to jump start XClaim. It worked, as XClaim would later put out SS Decontrol's Get It Away 12", as well as records for fellow Boston bands DYS, the F.U.'s, and Jerry's Kids.

Somewhere along the line, the band officially changed their name to SSD, added a second guitar player, and began "evolving" away from their original hardcore sound. Similarly, most of the band members all but forgot about their previously adamant views on straight edge.

Their final two LP's are testaments to the power of the Boston punk curse - chunky metal with boring songwriting and little to none of the wild energy that made them so amazing before. 1984's How We Rock saw the band upgrading their equipment to full stack amplifiers and wireless guitars, and they were soon doing straight covers of wanky 70's rock songs. SSD never exploded into the mainstream, however, and broke up mid-way through 1985 (posthumously releasing the aptly titled Break It Up later that year).

XClaim has let all of the records go long out of print, so unless you're very rich or lucky you won't find them. Taang! reissued a random sampler called Power which may take the coveted title of shittiest Taang! reissue ever, jumbling good and bad songs into an unlistenable mess. There is a listenable bootleg CD of the first two records that is floating around, as well as a rare bootleg (allegedly done by Revelation Records) of The Kids Will Have Their Say."

Coming full circle, my old band covered "Glue" by SSD on a split we did for Revelation in 1998. To this day when we get those fat $7 royalty checks from Revelation, a percentage of it goes to Al Barile.

Who knew when I was an 11-year old kid in a goddamn Tape World buying this CD, right?

Rumour dispelled before most even hear about it

"Minor Threat/Fugazi frontman rumours untrue... Reports of Ian MacKaye's death greatly exaggerated..."

Well, that was quick! Fuckin' amateurs!

You know a rumour sucks when the first time you hear about it is when its being cleared up.

Ian MacKaye, the frontman of Minor Threat and Fugazi is alive and well, despite reports of his death??

The Baltimore Sun was reportedly given notification of MacKaye's death yesterday evening (October 2), but after phone calls to the hospital where MacKaye supposedly died, there was no record of him being admitted.

A phone call to MacKaye's home found the frontman answering his phone with the words "I am still alive".

The 45 year-old founder of Dischord Records was made aware of the rumours, which were reportedly initiated on Myspace and subsequently on Wikipedia.

After having two postings regarding his "death" removed from Wikipedia, the website disabled the section so it could not be updated with any more false rumours.

Meanwhile, the NME alerts us to the fact that there is a test press copy of Marillion's "Fugazi" LP signed by the whole band on Ebay right now and the bidding starts at £20. Thanks, boys!

Oh my Gawd!

As we reported yesterday I guess SJP marries Mr.Big in the new Sex And The City movie. And you know The Daily News is all over that shit like woah. These pics look like fucking movie stills rather than paparazzi snapshots. Hmmmm. Oh SATC, play us all like a pianos.

OH MY GAWD LINKS!
Photo Gallery: 'Sex and the City' wedding
Photo Gallery: 'Sex and the City' filming in Greenwich Village
Secrets of the 'Sex and the City' wardrobe
Photo Gallery: 'Sex and the City' through the years
Carrie of 'Sex and the City' has an Eiffel Tower purse
Charlotte pregnant as 'Sex and the 'City' films on E. Side
Photo Gallery: 'Sex and the City' filming
Filming begins on 'Sex and the City' movie
Photo Gallery: First day of of 'Sex and the City: The Movie' filming

Gibson announces new self-tuning guitar

This image shows the "Tronical" tuner system, mounted on the head of a Gibson Les Paul. The pegs' tiny motors are controlled by instructions sent from electronics in the body of the guitar; the strings themselves are used as communication wires. Watch a video demo.

Ew. I guess I've somehow become some sort of a "guitar purist" (their words in the article) by osmosis because the idea of a self-tuning guitar truly irritates me.

Yes, tuning is annoying and when you're half way through a song and realise your G is slightly out (G strings are the Achilles heel of almost all Gibsons BTW) it can be quite traumatic; especially as you anticipate how you'll artfully avoid hitting that sour G when the big rock chorus arrives which requires you to play octave chords the whole time, or as we call them "Sonic Youth chords".

Other than that, what will you do in between songs? It'll be pretty boring. After a song or a few songs are done (we normally do Ramones-esque 3-song rock blocks) I know I'll have to mute my axe and get to work fine tuning my coils for the next set of tunes. If I had one of these state-of-the-art self-tuning guitars, what ever would I do with my down time? Just stand there and throw kisses to the crowd?

If this guitar can sense that my strings are out of tune WHILE I'm playing, then I'm all for it. But just hitting a button or flipping a switch and watching as my guitar robotically tunes itself is just too far removed from Woody G. and Bobby D. for me to really appreciate.

It just seems weird; like a useless gadget that seemed amazing at the time; like the wipers on the headlights of my car; which were also designed by Germans who came up with this Tronical tuner system.

Read the article: Gibson's Self-Tuning Guitar: A new line features advanced electronics that automatically tune the instrument. By John Borland

Where in the world is Shaheen Holloway?

I always loved simply hearing this dudes name; it just sounds like a star's name. Did he ever make it to the NBA? He was Seton Hall's pride and joy point guard for a good while. I'd heard he was playing over in England or maybe coaching over there, too? Now I think he's coaching in Iona? I know he coached for a while back at Seton Hall. I guess he never made it to the NBA? Maybe because he was only 5'10'' ? Can someone please help me out here?! I'm lost and confused and begging to be scooped on the life and times of Shaheen Holloway.

From the Someone Please Shoot Me dept.

“Yeah, she got a job at Estée Lauder”
“Wow, THAT sounds fun!”

“I won a lot in BINGO one time so I really shouldn’t knock it”

“Ooooh let me see your mug. Did you make it? I’ve always wanted to take ceramics”

Gov funded cavalier cowboys: Blackwater kills with carte blanche, again.

38-year-old former Navy SEAL and Blackwater chairman Erik Prince vigorously rejected charges yesterday that guards from his private security firm acted like a bunch of cowboys immune to legal prosecution while protecting State Department personnel in Iraq and Afghanistan.

"I believe we acted appropriately at all times," he said.

His testimony came as the FBI is investigating Blackwater personnel for their role in a Sept. 16 shootout that left 11 Iraqis dead. The incident and others, including a shooting by a drunk Blackwater employee after a 2006 Christmas party, led to pointed questions by lawmakers about whether the government is relying too much on private contractors who fall outside the military courts martial system. Ya think? Read more here

Related: "Blackwater: trigger-happy and unaccountable?" Click here

"Yeeeehaw! Get some! Get some!"

Forever 21 Haters; Mad beef from designers du jour namely Diane Von Furstenberg

The Village Voice is questioning the merits of some top designers suing Forever 21 for "ripping off" their style.

Over 20 designers in all are calling the store out for their fashion faux-pas, and they're led by Diane Von Furstenberg, president of the Council of Fashion Designers of America, who has brought the case to Washington "attempting to get federal legislation passed that would make clothes-copying clothes a criminal offence."

There's no question where Forever 21 got the inspiration for their giant spot chiffon top (left). It quite obviously draws inspiration from one of the stand-out prints from the Spring / Summer 2006 Diane Von Furstenberg collection, and in particular the 'Elisabetta' top. The designer find is now difficult to find (sold out at both Nordstrom and Net-a-Porter) but the bargain alternative can be picked up now for less than $20. It'd be rude not to buy it, surely.

This isn't the first time she's taken issue with the store, and now she claims they have knocked off her famous wrap dress and more than one of her prints, one of which the Voice adds "actually looks a lot like an old Marimekko design." I heart Marimekko! Finlands pride & joy!

Anna Sui, who based an entire career on resuscitating, revamping, and rethinking the vintage fashions of the 1960's and 70's, the decades when she was young, is also livid about Forever 21 ripping off her designs, and she's suing as well. So incensed is she that for her spring 2008 show (a collection described in part as "pure Barbara Hulanicki," citing the designer of the iconic 1970's label Biba), Sui stuffed each gift bag with a T-shirt depicting the owners of Forever 21 on a Wild West–style poster with the legends "Forever Wanted" and "Thou Shalt Not Steal."

Even Anthropologie (who surely rips off styles all the time) is in on the lawsuit! Everyone involved should be taking a good look at the history of fashion, however.

Pictured are a Forever 21 dress and a Diane Von Furstenberg dress, guess which is which!

Inspiration and influences are admittedly incorporated into designers own lines all the time. The Voice also points out that "lots of designers spend Sundays at the flea market. (They are, in fact, notorious for sweeping through the Manhattan Vintage Clothing Show.)" Head there yourself later this month before the designers snag the rags, put their name on them and mark up the price!

Umm, what about H&M? If Forever 21 is catching heat, H&M shouldn't be far behind.

The chain, Forever 21 (originally known as Fashion 21) was founded in LA back in 1984 by a Korean couple, Don Chang and his wife. While the first store was only 900 feet, Fashion 21 eventually became so successful that Chang and his wife were able to open a new store every six months!

In 1989, the first Forever 21 store was placed in a mall and increased from its previous size to 5,000 square feet.

Today, the company operates about 400 mainly mall-based stores in the U.S. and Canada under the names Forever 21, Forever XXI, and For Love 21. Forever XXI stores are larger than classic Forever 21 shops and offer men's and women's fashions as well as lingerie, footwear, cosmetics and other stuff. Heritage 1981 and Gadzooks are also a part of the Forever 21 chain.

Like Wal-Mart, Forever 21 has eschewed the traditional $x.99 pricing and instead set their prices in the form $x.80. Clothing may be purchased on their website in addition to the stores.

Forever 21's trademark yellow shopping bags have the words "John 3:16" printed hidden on the bottom, a reflection of the owners' faith. Maybe God will step in and stop the lawsuits then.

Christina Milian Spotted In DVF-Forever 21 Lawsuit Dress

Heads roll at NBC 4

Well, not exactly but quite a few people have been let go due to the budget cuts.

The station's parent company, NBC Universal, said that it planned to reduce its news operations by at least 5 %, cutting 300 people nationwide.

The staff reductions are part of a bigger NBC effort - referred to as "NBC 2.0" by the company - to save some $750 million by cutting employees in many areas.

Locally the "NBC 2.0" cuts claimed Joe Avellar, Dr. Max Gomez, Jane Hanson and now Asa Aarons.

I guess NBC wants to focus more on shows which are cheaper to produce, things such as reality shows. LAME!

The Graveyard:

Dr. Max Gomez? GONE!

Jane Hanson been with NBC 4 since 1979? SEE YA!

Joe Avellar? YEAH, YOU'RE DONE PAL.

Asa Aarons? WELCOME TO THE CLUB!

Where are they now? Naturally, most of them went to CBS.

Dr. Max wasted no time signing on as a freelance medical reporter with CBS 2 News.

Jane Hanson announced she was joining HealthAnswersTV as host of the video series "The Answered Patient". Uh, OK.

Joe Avellar has moved to CBS 880 News Radio.

Asa was fired just last week and NBC will pay him through May. After that, he'll probably end up on CBS as well.

Stallone is the new Cronkite; reporting from Burma

Sylvester Stallone says he and his "Rambo" sequel movie crew recently witnessed the human toll of unspeakable atrocities while filming along the Myanmar (formerly known as Burma) border.

"I witnessed the aftermath - survivors with legs cut off and all kinds of land-mine injuries, maggot-infested wounds and ears cut off," Stallone told The Associated Press in a phone interview Monday. "We hear about Vietnam and Cambodia and this was more horrific."

The 61-year-old actor-director returned to the U.S. eight days ago from shooting "John Rambo," the fourth movie in the action series, on the Salween River separating Thailand and Myanmar, formerly known as Burma.

Stallone said he was in Thailand for six months, most of it along or on the river.

"This is a hellhole beyond your wildest dreams," Stallone said. "All the trails are mined. The only way into Burma is up the river."

He sounds like Hannibal from the A-Team here.

This was before the crackdown last week against the largest pro-democracy protests in Myanmar in two decades.

After the government increased fuel prices in August, public anger turned to mass protest against 45 years of military dictatorship. Last week, soldiers responded by opening fire with automatic weapons on unarmed demonstrators.

For decades, Myanmar's army has waged a brutal war against ethnic groups in which soldiers have razed villages, raped women and killed innocent civilians.

The "Rambo" script, written long before the present Myanmar uprising, features boatman John Rambo - the Vietnam War-era Green Beret who specialises in violent rescues and revenge - taking a group of mercenaries up the Salween River in search of missing Christian aid workers in Myanmar.

The character "realises man is just a few paces away from savagery when pushed." "I called Soldier of Fortune magazine and they said Burma was the foremost area of human abuse on the planet," Stallone said. Shots were fired over the film crew's head, he said. "We were told we could get seriously hurt if we went on." "I was being accused, once again, of using the Third World as a 'Rambo' victim. The Burmese are beautiful people. It's the military I am portraying as cruel," he said.

Stallone is now editing "John Rambo," which will be released in January.

Don't read this: Carrie and Big get married

October 2, 2007 -- "SEX and the City" spoiler alert! Mr. Big and Carrie definitely tie the knot - and it's no small-time affair. Cast and crew are shooting today from early morning until 9 p.m. at St. Patrick's Cathedral, where the wedding takes place. Carrie and her gal pals will be wearing jewels borrowed from H. Stern. Sarah Jessica Parker even gets a congrats written into the script: "Mazel Tov! I read it in Page Six," reports a woman who played a well-wisher during filming yesterday.

by popular demand... once again, from the vaults of the MPB Trustkill blog.

On this date in history: so crazy I posted exactly 1 year and 5 minutes apart!

October 2, 2004 @ 2:31 AM EST
hi from helsinki

greetings from double R's homeland. in an airport now in finland. show last night was insane!!!!! this place rules. we played at a club called stellastar. good band and a good club. nick cave and cannibal corpse were all in helsinki last night but we still managed to have an awesome, packed, sweaty, passionate show. it was really a lot of fun... i´m even smiling! after the rock show we all went back to the hotel and drank whiskey and hung with some underage chicks. actually we all went back and watched the presidential debate on bbc. total rock excess. soo thanx to everyone who helped us out here and took us to that awesome nepalese spot. good deal. ok so now we fly back to holland and then tonight we play in bochum, germany. 3 shows to go i think. see u soon basil. peace for now!! J - stage left

October 2, 2003 @ 2:36 AM EST
Joe Beningo

got up early and went to hang at the hatebreed video shoot at this little club across the street from the roseland. fun times. long day. basil came along and got in the mix. movie star pup. saw a bunch of old friends. tmrw we've gotta get up early for a sick "photo session" for alternative press. i thought i was in a band so i didn't have to deal with alarm clocks. oh well. see u in the morning.... J

Drinks on me

For the first time since July, the Dow closed at a new record high of 14,087. HOLLA!

Caninus is back?

After nearly a year in hiding it seems the worlds first band to be fronted by an animal is back!

"Sept 28, 2007. It has been quite some time. Over a year I'd imagine. But were still here. In hiding. Buying fancy foreign cars and slowly sipping talented wines. The CD repress is now done and available. Howard Stern has been showing us much love. The Village Voice is doing some thing on us now, too. They're all on board. Eating out of our hands like cockatoos. We have more songs so more recordings will come. Now we are busy bullet-proofing our van and designing mosaics for subway tunnels. We have a new member. Her name is Dolly as in Dolly Wood. She will appear on all forthcoming recordings and she will be writing lyrics, too. Shes a pit bull pup from Jersey City. We've now added some Baltimore flavour to the fold as well. Our very own Belle Molotov has moved to the DC area to study Entomological enology, which is the study of bugs in wine. Our drummer Curry Lightning lives around the corner. So Caninus is now 50% Baltimore and 100% brutal. I'd love to tell you more but I won't. Just stay tuned to our MySpace thing and you'll hear something soon. "

Media darlings and most elusive Caninus appeared on the scene about 5 years ago as the first heavy metal band to feature dogs singing! The human quotient of the band always appear behind masks leading to much speculation and mystery as to who is behind this group. Caninus have been featured everywhere from Details to GQ to Rolling Stone to Maxim and beyond.

Listen to a sample, here.

On the verge...

What is it about that sound? Why is it so gross to hear someone else cutting their nails? I'm gagging just thinking about it. I've never once trimmed my nails on the D train. Have you? The security guard on my floor right now is clip-clip-clipping away. I can't see him but I can hear it down the hall and I really wanna say something. He's been clipping for like 15 minutes! It's fucking gnarly, man. I dunno what it is about that sound but its fucking vile. Almost as vile as the time I saw a guy eating a bucket of buffalo wings on the B train. He was taking turns holding the pole and eating wings from the bucket; switching hands carelessly so that his filthy hands were touching the nasty pole, back into the bucket and so on and so forth; until his face and the pole were both completely covered in orange hot sauce which probably tasted like nickels from the brushed metal pole. People are fucking gross.

New York's worst kept secret

So they've been filming the Sex And The City movie in NYC for the past few weeks and everyday there are photos online everywhere and spoilers; its insane. I've never seen anything like it. Whats her face is pregnant, Square Pegs is still hanging out with Mr. Big (and apartment hunting with him) and they've cast Jennifer Hudson from Dreamgirls, too. She will play Sarah Jessica's assistant; a new character. Not unlike Ghostbusters 2 when they put Ernie Hudson in there as the new guy, Winston. I'm thinking, the way this is going, by the time this film hits theaters next May, there will really be no reason to go see it because we'll have seen it all already.

all that pancake make up makes Mr. Big look like Seinfeld

starring Jennifer Hudson as the fourth Ghostbuster

I never got into Radiohead...

But I seem to like a lot of bands that people love to say sound "just like Radiohead": Muse, Coldplay, Keane... Pretty much if you're from across the pond and sing in a falsetto you're a "Radiohead rip-off"

Anyway, Radiohead is making waves today because they've announced they will "give away" their new album "In Rainbows" on their website starting October 10. "In Rainbows" is Radioheads first album since 2003's "Hail to the Thief", after which the band's contract with EMI/Capitol expired.

Radiohead will accept donations and fans can pay as little or as much as they want for the new record; sorta like going to the Museum of Natural History. Fans will have to pay a minimum of 45pense (92¢) for the credit card handling fee but that's it.

This ain't the first time that a group has opted to charge nothing for its album, but the move is significant because Radiohead remains one of the biggest bands in the world.

The album is also available separately as part of a £40 ($82) box-set which includes the album on CD, two vinyl records, a CD with additional songs, photos, artwork and lyrics. Holy fucking Radiohead, Batman!

It is likely that many of its millions of die-hard fans will be unable to resist buying the box-set, available in December, while Radiohead will not be required to share its profit$ with either a record label or shops.

Radiohead could even benefit from those who ignore the box set and choose to pay nothing to download the album from Radiohead's online shop, where they will be required to register their details and therefore become targets for future marketing campaigns. Oooh, sneaky!

Free albums also drive demand for live tours, which translates $$$ later. Bands hardly ever make money off their record sales anyway; its all in the touring and the merchandising.

Radiohead has the financial welly and is sufficiently well-known to be confident enough that the move is a risk worth taking, but it might also become an answer for those lesser known bands that struggle to be signed by a record label, or are reluctant to share their profits.

Radiohead may have also done irreparable damage to the industry's traditional business model. At least thats what this guy thinks and it makes sense.

Evander Holyfield releases Real Deal Grill

"my son george, my son george and my other son george"

Move over George Foreman, Evander's got a grill now: The Real Deal Grill.

Who knew former boxing champions would have such a lucrative future ahead of them albeit in the murky and cutthroat world of electric cooking appliances!

The press release doesn't actually mention what makes the $99 Real Deal Grill any better than Foreman's grill, but that doesn't stop the former Evander from taunting "don't you think the latest grill is supposed to be the best grill?"... "you must connect with a product like you connect with a punch...it's a real knockout of a product, and I am committed to making The Real Deal Grill a true champion."

Oh snap, I smell beef !

your grill is better, baby, your grill is the best

I still back Yeovil's own

There's a listening party tonight at the Beauty Bar for PJ Harvey's new album, White Chalk. I find the concept of "listening parties" quite amusing. I dunno about you, but when I wanna really check out the subtle nuances of someones new record, the best place for that sort of thing would be in a noisy bar where it can be pumped out over some cheap, randomly placed speakers. Either way, go have a drink. Maybe PJ will even show up. Doubt it. 9pm at Beauty Bar -- 231 East 14th St. ==No cover.

click on them to enlarge.

Remembering Slimelight

47 West 20th Street at 6th Avenue. It was Communion Night every Tuesday in The Church of Thump-Thump-Thump. The H.R. Giger Room. How utterly late 80's. The Shampoo Room. Fuck Twilo and the Tunnel and the Sound Factory. Slimelight was where it was at. The balconies, and those sweeping spiral staircases, those ceilings... I saw a few great shows at this place.

Fake sugar vs. Real sugar

Whats the deal with real sugar?

How come a hot cup of black coffee devours 3 packets of a real sugar like a goldfish being dropped into a flaming pit of starving alligators, meanwhile 2 packets of fake sugar will sweeten that shit up like nobodys business?

How has fake sugar made in a lab become more gooder than real sugar; you know, tropical grass, from New Guinea?

Real sugar better step up their game. This is like Faker He-Man being better than real He-Man! What a travesty!

Bud Fox Fanclub: Day 1 of 4th Quarter

After another positive week for Wall Street, it appears investors are looking past the gloomy outlook for the the US economy and betting on sunnier times after some short-term problems. The market’s surprising performance over the past week have the main indexes showing strong gains in the traditionally weak month of September, and for the third quarter.

The record books show that the fourth quarter, which kicks off today, has been a very profitable period for stocks since the early 1990's. In the past 15 years, the broad U.S. stock market, as measured by the Standard & Poor's 500 index, has declined in value in the fourth quarter only two times. The average gain in the 13 instances where stocks have risen in the final three months of the year: 6.3%.

Wall Street shot higher today after a report on the manufacturing sector came in below analysts expectations and raised the prospects of another interest rate cut. The report, plus a big acquisition by Nokia, offset the market's concerns about a profit warning from Citigroup Inc., the nation's largest financial institution. This morning Citi warned its third-quarter earnings are likely to decline 60%, as it takes more than $3 billion in writedowns for securities backed by underperforming mortgages and loans tied to corporate buyouts.

The announcement from Citigroup came as the Swiss bank UBS AG said it will post a loss of up to $690 million in the third quarter partly due to losses linked to U.S. subprime mortgages.

Subprime mortgages -- loans given to customers with poor credit history -- have gone delinquent or defaulted at rising rates in recent months, causing banks to lower the value of the loans as investors shy away from buying them. Weakness in that business spread to other credit markets, leaving banks stuck with loans they promised during the merger and acquisition boom.

Citigroup will write down about $1.4 billion on funded and unfunded loan commitments when it announces its third-quarter results. It will record losses of about $1.3 billion on the value of securities backed by subprime loans. Citigroup will also record a loss of $600 million in fixed-income credit trading due to market volatility.

Third quarter global consumer credit costs also increased $2.6 billion from the same quarter a year ago, the company said. About 75 percent of that increase is due to rising loan-loss reserves -- money held to cover loans that default.

Bronx Tale comes back to Broadway

Chazz Palminteri's "A Bronx Tale" first appeared off-Broadway in 1989.

The play caught the attention of studios, producers, and directors — many of whom were interested in making a film based on the play, but without Palminteri.

But Chazz stood his ground, refusing a $1 million offer for the film rights, despite having $200 in the bank at the time. His luck changed when Robert De Niro caught the show one night, bringing it and its writer-star to the screen, with DeNiro making his directorial debut in the process.

So now "A Bronx Tale," will come to Broadway this fall for a limited run at The Walter Kerr Theatre.

This time it will be directed by Jerry Zaks, who won Tony awards for "House of Blue Leaves," "Lend Me a Tenor," "Six Degrees of Separation" and "Guys and Dolls."

HOLLA!

Previews begin October 4th with an opening set for October 25. The play will run through February 10.

The Mets

161 games for naught.

30 September 2007

28 September 2007

Nas On Jay-z MTV Diary
Uploaded by Bounce2dis

We're all getting old

Madonna, The Beastie Boys and John Cougar Mellencamp have been nominated for inductions into the RnR Hall of Fame in Cleveland.

The other random nominees are: Donna Summer, CHIC ("Good Times"/"Le Freak"), stupid Afrika Bambaataa, Leonard Cohen!, The Dave Clark Five and The Ventures ("Walk Don't Run"/"Hawaii 5-0")

No CHIC, no rap?

From CHIC's 1979 "Risqué" album, the lead track "Good Times" became one of the most important and influential songs ever.

The track formed the backbone of Grandmaster Flash's "Adventures on the Wheels of Steel" and the Sugarhill Gang's breakthrough hip-hop single, "Rapper's Delight", and has been endlessly sampled since by many dance and hip hop acts.

Sugarhill Gang's song inspired Blondie's 1980 hit, "Rapture" which is considered by some to be the second major hip-hop hit after "Rapper’s Delight" and also Queen's hit, "Another One Bites the Dust".

So basically: no CHIC, no hip-hop.

Fun Fact: CHIC's most famous song "Le Freak" features that famous chorus:

"Aaaaaaahh freak out!
Le Freak, c'est chic "

But it was supposed to go"Aaaaaaah FUCK OFF!".

The line was directed at Studio 54. It was New Years Eve 1977. CHIC was all dressed up and ready to party with Grace Jones. They get to the door, their names aren't on the list, doorman ain't having it and tells them to get lost. CHIC is pissed. They bought some cheap champagne from a bodega, went back to their flat and wrote "Fuck Off". It was later changed at the request of the label to "Freak out" and the song became "Le Freak".

"Le Freak" went on to become the highest selling record ever on Atlantic Records, and the highest-selling single ever for the Warner Music Group until it was displaced in 1990 by Madonna's "Vogue". And now they're both up for nomination to the Hall of Fame together.

Like how I tied that all up at the end? That's tight.

Sufjan Stevens, YO!

Sufjan Stevens is coming to BAM in November...

"THE BQE" ...COMPOSED AND PERFORMED BY SUFJAN STEVENS
NOV 1—3 AT 8PM @ BAM HOWARD GILMAN OPERA HOUSE
RUNNING TIME: APPROX 90MIN
TICKETS: $20, 25, 35, 50

"A prolific singer/songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, and composer with a penchant for storytelling, Sufjan Stevens reveals the epic in the everyday in songs infusing the vernacular of Midwestern folk with a distinctly orchestral grandeur. Stevens pairs orchestrated selections of both new and old material with the 25th Next Wave Festival commission/world premiere of The BQE—a symphonic and cinematic exploration of one of New York's least celebrated monuments: the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway.

Robert Moses' controversial 11.7-mile roadway tears through neighborhoods in Brooklyn and Queens with the brute force of modern urban planning, and in Stevens' hands becomes an evocation of the intersection of intimate experience and the American Dream. Merging a virtual road trip shot on film with a live band and orchestral ensemble, The BQE discovers abstract patterns and stories in the snaking traffic, potholed pavement, billboards, badly marked exits, and beautiful city views, revealing what happens when Manifest Destiny converges with urban blight. "

My boy Jose Gonzalez will be playing the new Music Hall of Williamsburg Saturday night. He's probably best known for his cover of that Knife song "Heartbeats" and that Sony advert, but he's got some other songs too. Anyway, thats Saturday @ 8pm @ Music Hall of Williamsburg - 66 N 6th St, Williamsburg. Tickets are $20

Oh, Gina

Gina Gershon, widely recognized and beloved for her Broadway and film acting career, will debut music from her new recording In Search Of Cleo.

Anointed an "indie movie stalwart" by the LA Times, Gershon, together with a band of five and a dancing cast of three, will introduce the audiences at The Box to the true and unique story revealed in her songs.

In Search Of Cleo recalls the true story of the search and recovery of Gershon's lost cat Cleo.

Gershon wrote or co-wrote every song on the record, except for Linda Perry's "Watch Over Me". The album is Gershon's first for which each song was written entirely for her own voice and artistic expression.

The theme, woven among the album's 10 songs, focuses on the literal and metaphoric experience of the search, not just for Cleo, but for love. With biting humor, country, blues and jazz influenced singing and a splash of sexy, the show will reveal the desperation and beauty of the search. "Drinking theater, instead of dinner theater", says Gina. Oh, you!

Although Gershon began her career as a "song and dance girl" before turning her attention seriously to acting, In Search Of Cleo is her first recording. Sam Mendes brought her back into the world of musical theater by asking her to take the role of Sally Bowles in the Tony Award-winning Cabaret. Gershon has gone on to give unforgettable performances in several indie films including Showgirls, Bound, Face/Off, The Insider and most recently, Tom DiCillo's Delirious.

Ginaface will be at The Box every Sunday and Monday night for the month of October. The Box is a gorgeous little spot on the Lower East Side on Chrystie near Rivington. 212-982-9301

When the sun shines, we’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
Ella ella a a a
Under my umbrella
Ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella a a a a a
Under my umbrella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella
Ella ella a a a a a a Ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella a a a Ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella
Under my umbrella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella a a a
Ella ella a a a a a a Under my a a a a a a a a Ella ella ella ella ella ella ella ella a a a Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella Ella A A A A A A A A A A A A A

sorry, my CD is all scratched up

The Best Things In Life Are Free...

Best Craigslist in ages:

Reply to: pers-431649184@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-09-25, 11:07AM EDT

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

But sweetheart, why would your queries stop there? I like a girl with ambition; don't you want to know the meaning of life and why the sky is blue?! and ew, why ever would you want to live on CPW?!

Also, the "Jobs I should look out for?" query, you've got it covered. No one else makes money like that, except maybe your drug dealers drug dealer.

Oh, and all the hedge fund people will be at my house tonight; eating domestic yellow American, Planters roasted peanuts and watching Howard TV. Come by; its the bottom bell. Yes, I rent.

"Caaaaaaaaan Youuuuuu Dig It ??!!"

Your boy Obama thinks he's Cyrus; yesterday at Washington Square Park.

"Caaaaaaaaan Youuuuuu Dig It ??!!"

Sold out seats to hear Barack Obama speak last night in Washington Square. Loose joints anyone?

Barack mentioned that he "used to hang out in Washington Square Park" and that he knew "a little something about Greenwich Village."

When one supporter yelled "We love you Obama", the senator from Illinois said, "I love you back." BARF.

An NYU freshman told the Washington Square News, "Barack Obama is the most gangster politician to ever come to Washington" and that "Hell yeah!" he would vote for him.

Many reports say that the crowd was around 25,000 people, but The Times said that the the number was "impossible to verify" but that the "audience was one of the largest [for Obama] of the year." The Post says the crowd was around 15,000 strong.

I was busy rummaging through panty drawers in the NYU CAS dorms at the time.

Never, ever, feed them after midnight...

Animal rights activists are pissed... Someone has been setting domestic rabbits free all over the place out on Long Island; dropping rabbits on roadways, in parks and near school grounds on the South Shore of Long Island.

Earlier this month, a man was seen dumping 20 rabbits in a box at a train station and driving away! "Promise you'll write!"

Obviously domesticated rabbits can't fend for themselves in the wild and some end up starving to death or being killed by raccoons. Awww rabbits vs. raccoons!

The Nassau County SPCA is trying to figure out who is responsible for dumping thumper, and the Rabbit Rescue Group was offering a $5,000 reward. It sounds like someone is raising rabbits and trying to get out of the business. They should have an NQA rabbit drop off at your local police precinct or firehouse.

So, speaking of rabbits...

"Coney Island" comes from The Dutch name for the island "Conyne Eylandt" or Konijn Eiland which means Rabbit Island!

This name (Konijn Eiland) is found on the New Netherland map of 1639 by Johannes Vingboon where New York State and New York City are Dutch Settlements referred to as New Netherland and New Amsterdam respectively.

As with other Long Island barrier islands at the time, Coney Island was virtually overrun with rabbits, and rabbit hunting was common until the resorts were developed and most open space eliminated.

Martin Scorsese making documentary about George Harrison

"Harrison's music and his search for spiritual meaning is a story that still resonates today and I'm looking forward to delving deeper," Scorsese said yesterday.

George Harrison's widow, Olivia, said, "It would have given George great joy to know that Martin Scorsese has agreed to tell his story."

Scorsese, who won his first Academy Award this year for directing "The Departed," has made other films focusing on music stars, including the 2005 documentary "No Direction Home: Bob Dylan" and of course 1978's classic "The Last Waltz" about The Band.

George Harrison was born in Liverpool, England, and was the youngest Beatle. He died in November of 2001 after battling lung cancer and a brain tumor. He was 58.

I Heart Germany

All Hail Technoviking! - Watch more free videos

Jihad RSVP's Rosie

Muslim jihadist leaders being interviewed for some new book were ecstatic about statements from O'Donnell regarding the war in Iraq and the global war on terror.

So ecstatic that they've extended an invite to Rosie to come hang with them in their secret lair in the West Bank, anytime!

"We welcome Rosie O'Donnell to stay among us and to get to know the truth from being here, like many American peace activists are doing," said Ala Senakreh, West Bank chief of the Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigades terrorist organisation.

Al Aqsa is a Palestinian outfit that claims to have killed hundreds of Israelis in multiple suicide bombings since 2000.

Rosie made serious waves when she told Elisabeth Hasselbeck and "The View" audience that people shouldn't "fear the terrorists" because they're "mothers and fathers," and has pushed the conspiracy theory that the collapse of WTC 7 was engineered by the government.

"When it comes from persons like Rosie... it takes a more serious significance. I guess she knows what she is saying," says Senakreh, the leader of the prolific Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigades terrorist organisation.

My new favourite band

The Broken Bottle Band
Live @ Washington Square Park

Music Nation has an interesting little article on some NYC street musicians and how much they claim to pull in per hour or per day. Some of these dudes are making more than me playing in the tube! At least, they claim they are.

The stupid Naked Cowboy says he makes about $1,000 in a 10 hour day; which is about $400,000 a year! Soloists in the NY Philharmonic only pull in about $100,000 a year!

Street Musicians {Music Nation}
Busking for the Big Bucks {Gothamist}

Saddam said Lets Make A Deal: asked Bush for $1B to go into exile

It has been found Saddam Hussein offered to step down and go into exile one month before the invasion of Iraq.

Fearing defeat, Saddam was prepared to go peacefully in return for $1 Billion.

The extraordinary offer was revealed yesterday in a transcript of talks in February 2003 between George Bush and then Spanish Prime Minister Jose Aznar at the President's Texas ranch.

The White House has refused to comment.

But, if verified, it is certain to raise questions over whether the costly 4-year war could have been averted.

Only yesterday, the Bush administration asked Congress for another $200 Billion to finance the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan.

They even drink from the same fountains!
I mean, its just wonderful!

God, Bill O'Reilly is just so fucking racist; the more he defends and sees nothing wrong with what he said, the clearer it becomes; the man is a pig-headed demagogue floating in a delusional insulated warped zone where he has lost the concept of reality.

"Bill O'Reilly continued to claim that he wasn't being racist when expressing his surprise that a dinner at Harlem soul food restaurant Sylvia's was extremely pleasant. Media watchdog group Media Matters distributed text and clips of O'Reilly's radio show where the conservative talking head explained,

"I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by blacks, primarily black patronship."

I smell a new show on FOX: "When Blacks Behave"!

"And when CNN's Rick Sanchez picked up the story, O'Reilly lashed out at both Media Matters and CNN and tried to stamp some of the fallout by having his Sylvia's dining partner, the Reverend Al Sharpton, on The O'Reilly Factor last night.

After first discussing the Jena 6 case, Sharpton said he hadn't heard the tape but "What I read was surprising and disturbing." Sharpton went onto say that his words had been distorted by the media before so "I will be as fair to you as you have been to me. I will listen to the tape, and I will give my judgment." He added that he and O'Reilly go to dinner in Harlem once a year and that O'Reilly has never said anything offensive. O'Reilly kept mentioning how he picked up the tab, but Sharpton said, "You should pick up the tab - you make more money!" O'Reilly spoke to the Washington Post about the point he was trying to make:

"Anyone who listens to the tape [of the radio show] and is fair-minded will tell you this was an intelligent conversation about race.... Aren't they supposed to be in the business of honesty over there" at CNN?

His point, he said, is that "some whites fear blacks based on irrational notions. They're afraid to go into Sylvia's, they're afraid to go to Harlem. But there's nothing different in Sylvia's than any other place in the U.S."

The NY Times says that Sylvia's president and CEO, Ken Woods, (son of restaurant founder Sylvia Woods), "seemed to take the publicity in stride": “I was surprised that after all these years in business he would have thought that he would’ve possibly seen something different. He’s welcome to come again.” But Assemblyman Keith Wright wondered, “In the year 2007, if he’s surprised that black folks can sit in a restaurant and have cordial conversations, where has he been all these years?” He's been attending klan rallies, thats where!

If Imus was forced off the air for his remarks, than O'Reilly needs to go even more. Imus is/was an out of touch windbag trying to make a joke using young, urban street slang on a slow news week; whereas O'Reilly has shown his true colours yet again.

O'Reilly is fucking Archie Bunker; a senescent, intolerant, xenophobic relic. What he said was the indicium of a narrow minded segregationist and he needs to be outed once and for all.

When words get in the way,
Bush gets phonetic on dat azz

I actually first learned of this story from the little news monitor on the elevator here; which is normally only good for the weather and the Cleveland Indians scores.

"So when Bush addressed the U.N. on Tuesday, the White House inadvertently showed exactly how -- with a phonetic pronunciation guide on the teleprompter to get him past troublesome names of countries and world leaders.

The White House was left scrambling to explain after a marked-up draft of Bush's speech popped up briefly on the U.N. web site as he delivered his remarks, giving a
rare glimpse of the special guidance POTUS gets for major addresses. "

When I saw the headline "President George W Bush's phonetic teleprompter revealed", instinctively I thought "Wow, this guy is a true buffoon" but then I read further and the things they'd sounded out for him were pretty justified.

"It included phonetic spellings for French President Nicolas Sarkozy (sar-KO-zee), and Zimbabwe leader Robert Mugabe (moo-GAH-bee), a target of U.S. human rights criticism.
Pronunciations were also provided for Kyrgyzstan (KEYR-geez-stan), Mauritania (moor-EH-tain-ee-a) and the Zimbabwe capital Harare (hah-RAR-ray)."

This is a great example of how bullshit travels and you've really gotta take everything with a grain of salt because just reading the headline "Bush's UN Speech Full of Fone-eh-tick ..." instantly evokes mental images of a teleprompter with words like "America" and "Iran" spelled out phonetically when in fact I take no issue with the words above and anyone that does is full of shit and just looking for another reason to bury Bush.

I'm not defending your boy Bush at all, at all; but sometimes I get sick of everyone burying the dude.

I believe in a united front; especially during a time of war. When it seems like an entire country hates their leader, a leader they elected into office, it just makes us look stupid to the rest of the world. This is the dude we put into office, never forget that, folks.

Amy's new shirt

Looks like Amyhead got a new polo sweater for her 24th birthday a few weeks ago; her meth jeans look nice and clean but what the fuck are those things on her feet? Heels?! AMY! I guess her ballet flats are at the cobbler. Oh, Amy.

Art imitating life imitating art:
Hedge Funds in Hollywood

Popular culture, which is created by some of the least business-savvy people on the planet, has always been slow to latch onto business and economic trends. The covers of large-circulation magazines are a good contrary indicator. And TV, movies, and books are even worse. Twelve to 15 months can elapse between the first formal pitch of a new sitcom and the debut of the pilot. With movies and books, the lead times are even longer. By the time the film hits the multiplex or the book shows up on Amazon, the business phenomenon it describes has frequently gone bust—which is why hedge-fund managers and their investment-banking cousins should be very worried about the onslaught of Wall Street-themed pop culture.

We've seen this before. Tom Wolfe's Bonfire of the Vanities timed the zeitgeist—and the market—perfectly, debuting in October 1987, the month the 1980s bull market came to a crashing end. But Oliver Stone's Wall Street didn't hit the theaters until December 1987 and tanked at the box office as a result. After a few punk years, Wall Street caught fire again in the mid-1990s. But programming executives didn't catch on to the new wave until much later. Darren Star, who had neatly captured a cultural moment with HBO's Sex and the City, rolled out The $treet on Fox in the fall of 2000. This show about the professional and personal lives of attractive employees at a New York brokerage firm arrived at a time when Wall Street was falling out of favor, and lasted just 12 episodes, one more than Bull, which was also about the professional and personal lives of attractive employees at a New York brokerage. The real-estate bubble produced the ABC sitcom Hot Properties, a bawdy sendup of the lives of four attractive real-estate brokers. It debuted in the fall of 2005, just as housing prices were about to peak, and went into foreclosure after 13 unfunny episodes.

Real estate has been replaced in the public's imagination by hedge funds, private-equity firms, and really rich people—who are enjoying record bonuses, a degree of income inequality not seen since the Gilded Age, and a popular-culture renaissance. For the last several months, analysts (and envious journalists) have been eager to call a top in the phenomenon of extreme wealth creation, pointing to phenomena like the explosion of hedge funds, or Blackstone founder Steve Schwarzman's over-the-top birthday party, or this summer's credit crunch. But the best signals of the impending fall of the ultra-rich can be found in TV Guide.

The fall slate includes Dirty Sexy Money, an ABC drama about an insanely rich and charmingly dysfunctional American family based in New York ("they put the upper in Upper East Side"). And Big Shots, an ABC drama about four insanely rich and charmingly dysfunctional corporate hot shots based in New York. And Cashmere Mafia, an ABC drama about four insanely rich and charmingly dysfunctional female corporate hot shots based in New York. (Frances O'Connor plays Zoe, a "top investment banker.") The sidekick on CBS's new vampire show, Moonlight, is "eternally young, wealthy and mischievous Josef, a hedge fund trader who relishes his uniqueness."

And there's more to come. Doug Ellin, who developed Entourage for HBO, is making an HBO series based on a hedge fund. He hired writers this summer and hopes to launch the series next summer alongside Season 5 of Entourage. Ellin and his crew better hurry, though. If this fall's TV slate isn't enough to make you think big, New York-based money is overplayed, other news coming out of Hollywood should. Fortune reports that Michael Douglas has committed to reprise his role of Gordon Gekko in a sequel to Wall Street. By rights, the new Gekko should have evolved from a corporate raider into a hedge-fund manager or a private-equity honcho. But at least one Hollywood-type has learned from history. Cognizant of the fact that movies can be extremely poor market timers, screenwriter Stephen Schiff is hedging his bets. "I don't want to date the film," Schiff told Fortune when asked about Gekko's professional life. "With what's going on right now, the question is: Where will the unassailable money end up? It might not be hedge funds."

By Daniel Gross

Wall of Sound Walks

The bizarre Phil Spector case has ended with a mistrial; the jury unable to decide whether he was guilty or innocent of murder.

"Simply put, there was rock 'n' roll before Phil Spector and then there was rock 'n' roll after Phil Spector," says Geoff Boucher, a writer for the Los Angeles Times.

Phil Spector was born into a Jewish family in the Bronx, 1939; but following his father's suicide in 1949, Spector and his mother and sister moved to Los Angeles in 1953, where he first became involved with music. Years later he'd reinvent rock 'n' roll; influencing everyone from The Beatles to Bruce Springsteen.

The originator of the famous "Wall of Sound" production technique, Spector pioneered the girl group sound of the 60's with his work with The Ronettes.

Spector produced everyone from Leonard Cohen to The Ramones to Ike and Tina to George Harrison.

Spector co-wrote "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'" for The Righteous Brothers. This song held the title for most U.S. radio airplay in the 20th century!

Spector was already known as a temperamental and quirky personality with strong, often unconventional ideas about musical and recording techniques. Despite the trend towards multi-channel recording, Spector was vehemently opposed to stereo releases, claiming that it took control of the record's sound away from the producer in favour of the listener. Spector also greatly preferred singles to albums, describing LP's as, "two hits and ten pieces of junk".

Spector's trademark, the so-called Wall of Sound, was a production technique yielding a dense, layered effect that reproduced well on AM radios and jukeboxes. To attain this signature sound, Spector gathered large groups of musicians (playing some instruments not generally used for ensemble playing, such as electric and acoustic guitars) playing orchestrated parts — often doubling and tripling many instruments playing in unison — for a fuller sound.

Stories of Phil Spector's gunplay mounted over the years, including his discharging a firearm while in the studio with John Lennon during the recording of his cover album Rock 'n' Roll, placing a loaded pistol at Leonard Cohen's head during the sessions for Death of a Ladies' Man, and forcing Dee Dee Ramone to play bass guitar to Spector's specifications at gunpoint. Cohen told "Rolling Stone" magazine in 1978 that,

"Phil couldn't resist annihilating me. I don't think he can tolerate any other shadows in his darkness."

The Ramones reportedly had to play the opening chord to the song, "Rock and Roll High School", for eight hours straight; years later, Johnny Ramone described Spector as "a little man with lifts in his shoes, the wig on top of his head and four guns". But he also described the session philosophically: "It was a positive learning experience. And that chord does sound really good." Marky Ramone said, "A lot of these things were overblown, and a lot of these things were alcohol-induced."

In 1970, Allen Klein, manager of The Beatles, brought Spector to England. While producing John Lennon's hit solo single "Instant Karma!", which went to #3, Spector was invited by Lennon and George Harrison to take on the task of turning the Beatles abandoned "Get Back" recording sessions into a usable album.

Spector went to work using many of his production techniques, making significant changes to the arrangements and sound of some songs. The resulting album, Let It Be, was a massive commercial success and yielded a #1 single, "The Long and Winding Road". Although viewed as a major creative comeback for Spector, it may also have contributed to the contentious Beatles breakup, as Spector added what some considered inappropriate choir and orchestral arrangements to Lennon's "Across the Universe", and Harrison's "I Me Mine". His overdubbing of "The Long and Winding Road", infuriated its composer, Paul McCartney, especially since the work was allegedly completed without his knowledge and without any opportunity for him to assess the results. In 2003, McCartney spearheaded the release of Let It Be... Naked, which stripped the songs of Spector's input.

Many producers have tried to emulate the Wall of Sound, and Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys—a fellow adherent of mono recording—considered Spector his main competition as a studio artist. Bruce Springsteen emulated the Wall of Sound technique in his recording of "Born to Run".

KMFBO

I fucking hate Bill O'Reilly. And if Imus got yanked off the air for his comments a few months ago then O'Reilly should go too. In fact, O'Reilly had better fucking go or there are some serious double standards going on.

Imus was fired for calling some girls on the Rutgers women's basketball team "nappy headed ho's". It was a dead slow news week; the story was contagious; Rev. Al got involved and by weeks end under pressure from every corner, CBS fired Imus after 700 years on the air.

And now O'Reilly made a comment about a recent trip to Sylvia’s, a famous soul food restaurant.
After eating dinner at the famed Harlem restaurant recently, Fox News Channel's Bill O'Reilly told a radio audience he "couldn't get over the fact" that there was no difference between the black-run Sylvia's and other restaurants. Here's the quote:

"I couldn’t get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia’s restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it’s run by blacks, primarily black patronship."

"It was like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun," he said. "And there wasn't any kind of craziness at all."

O'Reilly also noted that he went to an Anita Baker concert recently where the audience was evenly mixed between blacks and whites. I wonder if they were drinking from the same fountains and leaving through the same exits! GASP!

"The band was excellent, but they were dressed in tuxedos, and this is what white America doesn't know, particularly people who don't have a lot of interaction with black Americans," he said. "They think the culture is dominated by Twista, Ludacris and Snoop Dogg."

Rev. Al, you'd better get out their and call for your boys head right now just like you did Don Imus. This is NO different; in fact, its WORSE!

O'Reilly is way out of line, totally obtuse, being totally sincere, ignorant and racist. So racist he sees nothing wrong with what he's saying; so inherently racist he thinks what he said was fucking complimentary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello? Is this fucking thing on???!?!

"she was walking all alone / down the street in the alley
her name was sally
she never saw it / when she was hit by space junk
in new york / miami beach
heavy metal fell in cuba
angola saudi arabia
on xmas eve
said norad
a soviet sputnik hit africa
india venezuela (in texas/ kansas)
it's falling fast peru too
it keeps coming
and now i'm mad about space junk
i'm all burned out about space junk
oooh walk & talk about space junk
it smashed my baby's head
and now my sally's dead"

Space junk, comets crashing through our atmosphere, extra-terrestrial micro-organisms that survive in appalling cold or searing heat, bacteria that grow more virulent in the gravity-free vacuum of space. What happens when fate conspires to bring such creatures and creations to earth?

We've all seen the B-grade 1950's sci-fi flicks, the Roswell and X-Files conspiracies, wild Chariots of the Gods alien theories, the mysterious Peruvian meteorite illnesses. There's no shortage of speculation of what the future might hold, what with holes in the ozone admitting cosmic radiation and comets, meteorites, space junks and all the microscopic hitchhikers they might be carrying hurtling towards us at mind-boggling speeds. Agggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Now there's a new kid on the inter-planetary catastrophist's block: superbugs. Super spacebugs.
Scientists working on and with the space shuttle have found certain bugs, dangerous enough when earth-bound, will grow more powerful in space. Like salmonella, which acts differently, genetically, in space, making it stronger, more deadly.

Arizona's Centre for Infectious Diseases and Vaccinology has found space salmonella, after 12 days, killed mice more swiftly and exhibited genetic variations. Space evidently triggers a different response in the bacterium even if scientists insist it's nothing it can't do on earth given the right circumstances.

They cite an influence called "fluid shear", the effect fluids have have passing over a bacterium. In space, like in the human body's intestines, it assists the bug's virulence. It simply takes lots of movement, lots of shaking the flasks containing the bug that are sent aloft into space.

It's just salmonella, nasty enough in its own right, and hardly what you might think is going to slaughter the human race ahead of the asteroid 99942 Apophis due to arrive between earth and the moon on April 13, 2029 or perhaps climate change-driven tidal waves a non-Kyoto future holds for us. But what of the bugs that might be attached to all the space junk, the old satellites, rockets, probes, missiles constantly falling back to earth?

There's no shortage of outdated, second-hand space trash orbiting the earth while harbouring who knows what kind of mutating space bugs in the weightless environment so conducive to extraordinary growth and genetic variation. Do stories like Michael Crichton's Andromeda Strain really give us an idea of what we might face as we dabble with space discovery and scientific experiments ostensibly aimed at furthering medicine and mankind's advancement as a civilisation?

BBC reports that even here on earth we have French scientists trying to discover what secrets lie within Antarctic ice where tiny bubbles of ancient air going back 800,000 years through the ice ages are to be found up to three kilometres beneath the surface. In Spain's red-running Rio Tinto are metals dissolved by water made highly acidic by bacteria living underground. The latest results from rovers on the planet Mars suggests that planet may once have run with similar acid waters.

Does the mysterious Peru asteroid _ which made 600 people ill after crashing into the earth and leaving behind a 39-metre wide crater and some evil-smelling gasses _ hold a clue to what the future holds? And who needs super-tech military weapons or global warming to wipe us out when our headlong pursuits of curiosity can do it all by accident?

the earth with dandruff

Wine Moon

No matter where you live, the moon will look round and full tonight as it rises in the east around sunset. This is the full Harvest Moon for us in the northern hemisphere.

Every month has a full moon, and all the full moons have names.

The Harvest Moon is the name for the full moon closest to the September equinox, which came this year on September 23. This is the first full moon of autumn for us in this hemisphere. For the southern hemisphere, it’s the first full moon of spring.

Its known as the "Harvest Moon" because the moon once provided extra light for harvesting crops. The Harvest Moon is also known as the Wine Moon, the Singing Moon and the Elk Call Moon.

In myth and folklore the full moon of each month is given a name. There are many variations but the following list gives the most widely known names:
January - Wolf moon
February - Ice moon
March - Storm moon
April - Growing moon
May - Hare moon
June - Mead moon
July - Hay moon
August - Corn moon
September - Harvest moon
October - Hunter's moon
November - Snow moon
December - Winter moon

In some cultures, individuals whose birthdays fall on or near a harvest moon must provide a feast for the rest of the community.

To see the Harvest Moon, look to the east at sunset tonight.

The reason for the shorter-than-usual rising time between successive moon rises around the time of the Harvest and Hunter's Moon is that the ecliptic - or plane of Earth's orbit around the sun - makes a narrow angle with respect to the horizon in the evening in autumn.

The Harvest Moon can come before or after the autumnal equinox. It is simply the full moon closest to that equinox. About once every four years it occurs in October, depending on the cycles of the moon. Currently, the latest the Harvest Moon can occur is on October 8. Between 1900 and 2010 the Harvest Moon falls on October 7 in 1930, 1949, 1987, 2006, and on October 8 in 1911.

Many cultures celebrate with gatherings, festivals, and rituals that are intricately attuned to the Harvest Moon or Hunter's Moon.

It is claimed by some that the Harvest Moon seems to be somehow bigger or brighter or yellower in color than other full moons. This is an illusion. The yellow or golden or orange or reddish color of the moon shortly after it rises is a physical effect, which stems from the fact that, when you see the moon low in the sky, you are looking at it through a greater amount of atmosphere than when the moon is overhead. The atmosphere scatters the bluish component of white moonlight (which is really reflected sunlight) but allows the reddish component of the light to travel a straighter path to your eyes. Hence all moons (and stars and planets) look reddish when they are low in the sky.

As for the large size of a full moon when seen low in the sky, it is true that the human eye sees a low hanging moon as being larger than one that rides high in the sky. This is known as a Moon Illusion and can be seen with any full moon. It can also be seen with constellations; in other words, a constellation viewed low in the sky will appear bigger than when it is high in the sky.

222 West 23rd Street

222 West 23rd between 7th & 8th Ave

Dylan Thomas died there in 1953 and Sid killed Nancy there in 1978.

The twelve-story red-brick building that now houses the Hotel Chelsea was built in 1883 as a private apartment co-op that opened in 1884; it was the tallest building in New York until 1899.

the lobby

At the time Chelsea, and particularly the street on which the hotel was located, was the center of New York's Theater District. However, within a few years the combination of economic worries and the relocation of the theaters bankrupted the Chelsea cooperative.

In 1905, the building was purchased and opened as a hotel.

And since 1946, the hotel has been managed by the Bard family, and until recently was run by 72-year-old Stanley Bard who took over as managing director from his father in 1955.

But on June 18, 2007 the hotel's board of directors ousted Bard as the hotel's manager. Marlene Krauss, a doctor who is the chief executive of KBL Healthcare Ventures, and David Elder, one of the heirs of an original owner who lives in California, replaced Stanley Bard with management company BD Hotels NY, L.L.C.

room #603

No two rooms in the hotel are the same.

Owing to its long list of famous guests and residents, the hotel has an ornate history, both as a birth place of creative modern art and punctuated by tragedy catching the public eye.

Sir Arthur Clarke wrote 2001: A Space Odyssey while staying at the Chelsea.

The hotel has always been a center of artistic and bohemian activity and it houses artwork created by many of the artists who have visited. The hotel was the first building to be listed by New York City as a cultural preservation site and historic building of note.

People who live/have lived at the Hotel Chelsea:

During its lifetime Hotel Chelsea has provided a home to many great writers and thinkers including Mark Twain, O. Henry, Dylan Thomas lived & died there, Sir Arthur Clarke wrote 2001: A Space Odyssey while staying there, William Burroughs, Arthur Miller, Gore Vidal, Tennessee Williams, Allen Ginsberg, Jack Kerouac, Simone de Beauvoir, Jean-Paul Sartre, Thomas Wolfe, Charles Bukowski and René Ricard. Charles R. Jackson, author of The Lost Weekend, committed suicide in his room on September 21, 1968.

The hotel has been a home to actors and film directors too, such as Stanley Kubrick, Shirley Clarke, comedian Mitch Hedberg, Ethan Hawke, Dennis Hopper, Uma Thurman, Elliot Gould, Jane Fonda, and Gaby Hoffmann and her mother, the Warhol film star Viva.

Room #822

Much of Hotel Chelsea's history has been colored by the musicians who have resided there. Some of the most prominent names include Tom Waits, Patti Smith, Dee Dee Ramone, Henri Chopin, John Cale, Édith Piaf, Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Sid Vicious, Richard Hell, Ryan Adams, Rufus Wainwright, Leonard Cohen and Anthony Kiedis.

Songs about the Chelsea: "Sara" by Bob Dylan, which refers to "Staying up for days in the Chelsea Hotel, writing Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands for you", "Chelsea Hotel #2" by Leonard Cohen from New Skin for the Old Ceremony is about his relationship with Janis Joplin there,

Room 324

"Only thanks to the imigration of artists, creative and critical spirits to the Village around the turn of the century, its charm could have been preserved. In the fifties, the Village became attractive for the beatnicks. In the sixties, the hippies came. In the seventies and eightees, it was the Rock'n'Rollers and everybody who wanted to be hip who made Greenwich Village and neighboring Chelsea symbols of the New York way of life. One of the particular spots is the Chelsea Hotel, meanwhile under national protection. This place is talking more about popular culture and its artists than any other spot in the Village.

The Chelsea was famous even back at a time when Mark Twain was living in one of its rooms. Thomas Wolfe and Arthur Miller have been living and writing there. Miller, who stayed six years at the Chelsea described the famous artist's hotel like this: This hotel does not belong to America. There are no vacuum cleaners, no rules and shame...it's the high spot of the surreal. Cautiously, I lifted my feet to move across bloodstained winos passing out on the sidewalks--and I was happy. I witnessed how a new time, the sixties, stumbled into the Chelsea with young, bloodshot eyes.

Until 1884, the Chelsea Hotel was the highest building in New York City. Today it is burried somewhere in the suburbia of Manhattan. The glamor of ancient time has been nagged away by the destruction done by the years. Only the main entrance with its memorial plates is reminding us of the great past of the hotel. The lobby is resembling an art gallery consisting of objects that sometimes were kept by the hotel management in lieu of payment for a rent long overdue.

The reception desk looks like straight out of an old black & white Hollywood movie. Both lifts seem to move in slow motion up and down the ten-story building. Sometimes, the inside of the hotel looks like a barracs. But holes in the floors, sqeeking waterpipes or breathing heatpipes only add to the ambiente of the hotel. Nonchalance is being cultivated in this place. Luxury is unwanted. Usefulness, atmosphere and non-conformism are dominating.

Pompousness is looked down upon, nonetheless there is tidyness all over the place. In the last five years, a lot of money has been spend upon the restauration of the victorian-gothic building with its many oriels.

Even today, only 100 of the Chelsea's 400 'units' are available to 'normal' New York visitors, the rest of them is occupied by permanent residents. The most beautiful of all (# 600) is a luxury suite which has a marble floor and a bronze fireplace and is currently rented to the gay couple writing love stories under the moniker "Judith Gould". If you want to stay at the Chelsea, you'd be better adviced to book at least two months ahead, even if it's only a ordinary room. You rather pay for the famousness of the hotel than for the rooms themselves. You can get a room facing the street at about $ 140 and the Chelsea is highly recommended for people who love something special.

Every room at the Chelsea tells its own story. In # 205, welsh poet Dylan Thomas, who reputedly inspired young Zimmerman to change his name to Bob Dylan, fell into a fatal coma after having 18 whiskies in a row. # 100 was once occupied by Sid Vicious, bass player with The Sex Pistols, and his girlfriend Nancy Spungeon. On the morning of October 11, 1978 Spungeon was found in the bathroom, stabbed to death. Viscious, arrested under suspicion of murder, died shortly thereafter of a heroin overdose. Jimi Hendrix lived, loved and experimented here, with drugs and other things. Janis Joplin did not only have a love affair with Southern Comfort but also had a short liaison with Leonard Cohen. The canadian rock poet, too, loved the hotel: It's one of those hotels that have everything that I love so well about hotels. I love hotels to which, at four a.m., you can bring along a midget, a bear and four ladies, drag them to your room and no one cares about it at all.

His song Chelsea Hotel is not only a remembrance of past loves with the likes of Janis Joplin or Nico, it's also a declaration of love towards the hotel: I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel/ You were taking so brave and so free/ Giving me head on the
unmade bed/ While the limousines wait in the street/ Those were the reasons and that was New York/ I was running for the money and the flesh/ That was called love for the workers in song/ Probably still is for those of us left.

The list of Big Names of literature, music or the arts scene who stayed at the Chelsea is seemingly bottomless: Jane Fonda, Jackson Pollock, Brendan Behan, Sarah Bernhardt to name but a few. They all encountered tragedies and comedies. They wrote short stories, movie scripts and novels and painted their pictures. They completed their movies within their heads, long before the actual shooting took place. Some of them had fatal endings...

For many, the Chelsea was a hideout or regular adress for many years, remembers Stanley Bard, who's been the hotel manager for almost 40 years now. Some of them lived here over decades. It was only recently that punk-icon Patti Smith moved out.

Stanley Bard appears to be friendly but keeps distance, on the other hand he's happy about reminicing every once in a while and he points out the bookcase in his office. I'm collecting every book that has been written in my hotel, he says taking out Thomas Wolfe's novel You Can't Go Home. Many things have happened here, he continues. Jim Morrison, Hendrix and Janis Joplin were having their drug parties here. Today, there's a 'No Smoking' sign in the hotel lobby.

For many years, Bob Dylan used to live in suite # 2011, # 411 was Janis Joplin's suite. Over the years, Leonard Cohen has lived in many rooms. I like to think of him, back then. He was one of the very few calm ones in these tumultous times. But perhaps his restlessness was better hidden than that of the others. Most of his time in New York in the sixties he was living at # 424.

But Bard refuses to talk about the mysterious Viscious/Spungeon murder case. That's a different story, he says but he's proud of Andy Warhol's love for the hotel. In the 60s, Warhol and Nico have done a movie, Chelsea Girl, at the hotel. All in all it has been a turbulent time back then, Stanley Bard resumes and wistfully finishes, I don't want to have missed any moment in the life of the Chelsea Hotel.

There's hardly been an artist who has lived in the Chelsea that was not in some way captured by its flair, says Patti Smith. Of course, Leonard Cohen is amongst them and with his song Chelsea Hotel No.2 he not only remembers his former lover Janis Joplin but also puts up a monument to his former hunting trails.

Nonetheless, the song has not been written at the Chelsea. I wrote this for an American singer who died a while ago. She used to stay at the Chelsea, too. I began it at a bar in a Polynesian restaurant in Miami in 1971 and finished it in Asmara, Ethiopia just before the throne was overturned. Ron Cornelius helped me with a chord change in an ealier version, Cohen remarks in the liner notes 'Some Notes On The Songs' of his 1975 Greatest Hits compilation "

Check out Living with Legends: Hotel Chelsea Blog

Cousin Brucie Staying on Satellite

Don’t look for Cousin Brucie on the radio any time soon — not on terrestrial radio, anyway. Cousin Brucie (a/k/a Bruce Morrow) the longtime New York DJ has signed an exclusive, multi-year contract to remain at Sirius and he will not return to his old station, WCBS-FM.

Despite the station’s recent return to the oldies format it abandoned two years ago, Cousin Brucie criticised it for changing its focus by emphasising music from the 70's and 80's. “The music of the 50’s and 60’s, specifically, deserves to have exposure, not be locked in a vault,” he said.

Brucie will continue his Wednesday and Saturday night shows on Sirius, as well as handle special segments and live broadcasts.

I don't give a fuck honestly, Al Meredith is back and that's all that matters. Now if only Ron Lundy and Harry Harrison weren't 105 years old we'd be all set. "HELLO LOVE!"

Evolution of Dat Azz

Last month photos of Jennifer Lopez's dimpled dump seemed to have dimmed the fashion focus on the female backside. And isn't it about time to shift elsewhere—to kneecaps or pinky toes, for example? After all, it's been a full decade since designer Alexander McQueen's low-cut jeans ushered in the era of derrière décolletage and the ensuing onslaught of thongs, fanny facials, Brazilian butt lifts, and tramp-stamp tattoos.

But now comes the October 2007 issue of King, with backdoor queen Kim KardASShian on the cover. Will she prove the fashion fulcrum for a new wave of ASSentuation?

Why exactly is Kim Kardashian famous, anyway? She is the daughter of the late Robert Kardashian, once O.J. Simpson's attorney and lap dog; stepdaughter of plastic surgery aficionado Bruce Jenner; ex-girlfriend of Ray J; and human accessory to fellow celebutant Paris Hilton.

But Kardashian seems to owe her fame quotient mainly to her ass—or, more precisely, speculation about the origin of its size.

Is it due to steatopygia—the genetic overdevelopment of subcutaneous fat covering a woman's hind parts? Has she simply bought some off-the-shelf strap-on silicone enhancers from eBay? Or has she benefited from a Brazilian butt lift, famously pioneered by David Matlock, Dr. 90210 star plastic surgeon?

Her ass is like a medical mystery.

Putative high-school photos circulating on the Internet purport to show that Kardashian was born with a more pedestrian figure. Kim says otherwise in the new ish of King:

"I'm Armenian; you should see all the women in my family. The women have bigger breasts and bigger butts. That's how I was born."

Yeah, my ass!

You have to go back 100 years for the last time Western women devoted so much energy to festooning their derrières. In the 1870's, some ladies sported bustles robust enough to support an entire tea service.

As Bernard Rudofsky first noted in his book The Unfashionable Human Body: "If female dress were designed to follow a woman's contours, the bustle dress would fit the Hottentot woman like a glove. Yet although the women's silhouettes are identical, the American's majestic posterior is but a sartorial illusion."

The bustle of the 19th century made sitting a challenge. Thus the genius of the spring-loaded Langtry bustle. It collapsed, accordionlike, when a lady sat. When she stood back up, the bustle automatically sprang back into place, inspiring James Laver to declare it "one of the most extraordinary inventions in the whole history of fashion."

For today's women with silicone buttock implants, the sitability question is just as pressing. How does one sit when one has silicone appendages on her backside? Very carefully, apparently. As one poster on a blog about plastic surgery recently observed, the prudent implantee should be cautious around cacti.

Bettie Page was Miss Pin-Up Girl of the World in 1955. Her measurements: 36-23-37. Cheesecake entrepreneur Irving Klaw featured her derrière prominently in the peekaboo short films Varietease and Striporama. And yet at the time, the average American woman's derrière was hiding behind acres of poodle skirt.

In the 1970's and 80's, Catwoman Julie Newmar marketed her own brand of pantyhose, "Nudemar," which featured her own patented buttocks-shaping technology. The point was to mold the butt cheeks, rather than accentuate them.

When he patented a "doll with independently articulated buttocks" in 1966, inventor Robert K. Ostrander was a man before his time. Mattel executives would eschew such shaping for nearly three decades, preferring that Barbie—like Playboy centerfolds of the era—sport boyish hips under her famously cantilevered breasts.

Ken would unequivocally remain a breast man until 1998, when Mattel redistributed Barbie's proportions from 39-18-33 to what was hailed as a more politically correct 36-27-38. Cynics, however, concluded that Mattel was merely following new trends in the female physique.

Queen sang, "Fat bottomed girls, you made the rockin' world go round" back in 1978. Yet slim-hippedness reigned until hip-hop and rap brought us Sir Mix-a-Lot's seminal music video line "I like big butts and I can not lie" in 1992, later amplified by Sisqó's "Thong Song" and Lil' Kim's "Shake Ya Bum Bum."

Last week, photos started circulating of Nicole Austin—a/k/a Coco, the hyperBarbie doll wife of rapper Ice-T—displaying haunches that make Kim Kardashian's derrière look positively demur. If buttock implants get any larger, will plastic-surgery devotees have to budget for a retinue to hold up their backsides?

Coco aside, other evidence indicates that the pendulum may be swinging back to the small-if-perky behind. According to a recent survey, women asked what they'd want if they could have any beauty treatment were three times more likely to choose vaginal lip trimming over buttock implants and 50 times more likely to prefer the permanent removal of body hair.

Earlier this year, inventor Eric R. First received a patent for applying Botox to the buttocks. The patent is licensed to breast-implant powerhouse Allergan (which once sponsored a talk I gave). While the company has thus far made no announcements about an impending product launch, the marketing potential speaks for itself. Can Buttox parties be far behind?

By Teresa Riordan

Gordon Gekko was supposed to be a villain.
Instead, he became a folk hero

Ten years ago in The New Yorker, Kurt Andersen suggested that maybe the 1980's never really ended. Or rather, that maybe the greedy, tawdry era imagined in Tom Wolfe's novel The Bonfire of the Vanities and Oliver Stone's movie Wall Street had merely gone on hiatus during the early-90's recession before roaring back on the momentum of a resurgent stock market.

The 90's version of the 80's expired in the dot-com bust, but that High Reagan feeling is liable to come rushing back when lightly taxed hedgehog riches push the New York art and real estate markets into obscene overdrive, or whenever Steve Schwarzman throws himself a birthday party. Leveraged-buyout king Henry Kravis and all-around vulgarian Donald Trump, both 80's axioms, remain as ubiquitous now as then, and the new boss looks a lot like the old boss: Schwarzman, chairman and CEO of the Blackstone Group, has invited comparisons to Gordon Gekko, the suave and ruthless finance titan played by Michael Douglas in Wall Street.

In fact, Schwarzman made a clever inside joke of sorts earlier this month when Blackstone announced it was investing $600 million in a Chinese company called BlueStar, which just happens to share a name with the spunky mom-and-pop airline that Gekko attempts to liquidate in the movie. Enhancing the sense of déjà vu, Douglas and Wall Street producer Edward Pressman are in the early stages of a Gekko sequel called Money Never Sleeps (albeit without the participation of Stone or Charlie Sheen, the first film's nominal protagonist), and Fox has just released a two-disc "20th anniversary edition" of Wall Street on DVD.

Then as now, the movie had good timing. Sporting power suspenders, pomaded hair, and no-mercy machismo, Gordon Gekko epitomized Wolfe's "Masters of the Universe"—only Gekko made a more attractive villain for being a self-made man, lacking the WASP pedigree and Ivy League credentials of Bonfire's Sherman McCoy.

Released in December 1987, two months after the Black Monday stock market crash and just one week before Ivan Boesky was sentenced to three years in prison for securities fraud, Wall Street appeared like the indignant coda to an era that had suddenly self-destructed. (Parts of Gekko's famous "Greed is good" speech are freely paraphrased from comments Boesky made in 1985.)

"The eighties are over," Newsweek announced in its first issue of 1988, adding, "Maybe the best pop-culture indicator of the post-'80s spirit is the respectful reception given to Oliver Stone's dreadfully ham-handed Wall Street." Audiences are "predisposed to despise stockbrokers," Newsweek explained, and would therefore welcome any movie, no matter how awful, that put them in their place.

Viewed with two decades' hindsight, Wall Street remains a slick diversion as a time-capsule artifact and whenever the very quotable Gekko is hogging the screen. In other respects, though, Stone's morality play stands up about as well as many a notion held dear by some in the 80's—that furniture design could emulate Julian Schnabel's broken-crockery aesthetic, say, or that Daryl Hannah could act. At the film's outset, our protagonist, the not-quite-despicable stockbroker Bud Fox (Sheen), is ambitious and venal but still bumming cash off his salt-of-the-earth dad (Martin Sheen), a union rep at Bluestar Airlines. The youngster's luck turns when he wins an audience with Gekko and nervously blurts out an inside tip on Bluestar, which earns Gekko a tidy profit and a place for Bud beside his throne. (The perks of proximity include broken-crockery furniture and Daryl Hannah.)

The central moral conflict of Wall Street is transposed from Stone's previous film, Platoon (1986), which also cast Sheen as the eager-to-please newcomer torn Skywalker-style between a Good Father and a Bad Father. The young actor is serviceable in the mode of awkward upstart who's out of his depth, but he's tense and unconvincing as the avenging son once Gekko decides to pulverize Dad's little airline that could. It's not Sheen's fault, though, that Bud has to wander onto his balcony late at night and ask the stars, "Who am I?" The script's hackneyed language only comes to life when it feels the thrill of the kill, when the characters are salivating about bagging the elephant or sheep getting slaughtered or when Gekko says of an irritant that he wants "every orifice in his fucking body bleeding red."

He's not exactly being hyperbolic, either. Gekko's business, of course, is to eviscerate entire organizations and profit from the steaming entrails, even though he insists, "I am not a destroyer of companies—I am a liberator of them!" (Despite the reptilian name, Douglas cannily plays the villain as a vaguely animatronic shark—as a well-lubricated death machine.) Carnivorous bravado is integral to the era's most memorable portraits of greed, whether in Bonfire (there's a telling moment when someone mishears the title of a book called Merger Mania as Murder Mania) or in Bret Easton Ellis' American Psycho (1991), in which serial killer Patrick Bateman tells an acquaintance that he works in Murders & Executions.

The Draino-strength wit of Ellis' blackhearted satire might have been overshadowed by all those lovingly depicted M&Es, but American Psycho is a more incisive and efficient (not to mention funnier) summation of the era than Wall Street: It distills both the slash-and-burn frenzy required of Bateman/Gekko's professional milieu and the purgative effects that extreme wealth and power can have on the soul, and encapsulates them within one sharply dressed, vigorously exercised, homicidal maniac.

Given the excesses of the late '00s, we may be overdue for a maniac to call our own. On the Wall Street DVD, Stone reckons that his film made Hollywood more amenable to making movies about business, but if there was little evidence for that claim in 1987 (13 years passed before the release of Wall Street's closest descendant, Boiler Room), there's less so now—with the obvious exception of Money Never Sleeps, which nonetheless reanimates another era's icon rather than inventing one from scratch.

Money Never Sleeps promises a newly globalised milieu (Pressman has stated that the film's locations include London, the United Arab Emirates, and "an Asian country"), but it may also provide an opportunity for Douglas et al. to provide a corrective to one of the unexpected side effects of Wall Street: the cult of personality attached to Gordon Gekko.

Douglas says he's still stunned by the number of people who tell him that his Oscar-winning role was the reason they went to work on Wall Street. "It's so depressing and sad," Douglas says. Perhaps the actor's bemused remorse will result in a Gekko II that's a filthier piece of work, less glamourous, more pathetic. After all, nobody ever went into finance because of Patrick Bateman (or at least, no one would ever admit it), but there's no shame in naming Gekko as one's Bad Father. "I recall looking at that film and saying, 'That's what I want to be,' " recounts the late hedge-fund manager Seth Tobias in one of the Wall Street DVD featurettes. Somehow, an oleaginous villain meant to embody the worst excesses of his era became a folk hero and highly persuasive career counselor. Wall Street was intended as a cautionary tale, but oddly enough, it endures as a possibly timeless model for success.

By Jessica Winter

check out Washington's $7 Million Man by Mickey Kaus

We've got big ones, small ones, we've got 'em on synagogues, we've got 'em on cars, we've got 'em on school buses, in hallways and staircases, we've got flyers stuffed on windshields; we've even got SS logos on Brownstones! You name it, we've got it here at Hal's Swastika Warehouse! Our prices simply can't be beat!

I dunno about all this swastika bullshit; bear with me; do I think its awful and callous and horrible? Of course, but I don't think theres some big conspiracy behind it; we certainly don't need to be paying 20 NYPD DETECTIVES to tackle this case! This seems to be the work of the recklessly callow; the temerarious and imbecilic youth a/k/a a few naive punks.

Some believe that Iranian leader and Holocaust denier Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's presence in NYC could have something to do with the incidents. Eh, I dunno. Whoever did this shit had no idea it was Yom Kippor either. I bet these prolific vandals haven't even taken a college history class yet.

This was most likely the work of a few idiot teenagers with no concept or clue of the depth and severity associated with that collapsed cross; an ancient good luck symbol that Hitler hijacked forever associating it with hatred and atrocity. I guarantee if the 20 detectives assigned to this case find the dudes that did this, they'll be pimple faced teens with no motive except boredom and no true hate in their hearts for anyone.

They know the swastika as this crude, evil, lowest common denominator form of rebellion. They have no idea what it truly represents to most everyone. It's awful that this sort of ignorance can exist, but obviously, and rather tragically, it does.

Theres no way this was the work of some racist group of adults. This is the work of adolescent confusion, listlessness, ignorant rebellion and simple stupidity; and I am not saying its justified or excusable because of this, but there isn't much more behind it than that; blissfully naive kids with no real idea what the swastika truly symbolises to people.

The Outspoken Katie Couric

First CBS ships their baby Evening News anchor off to Iraq, hoping that dropping her in the line of fire will boost ratings and bolster her integrity as a reborn investigative journalist, no longer simply the ex-host of the Today Show; and now, still desperate for ratings, Katie's talking shit to whoever will listen just to get her name and face back in the public eye.

Speaking at the National Press Club yesterday evening, the unbridled, strident Katie Couric pulled back the curtain on her personal views of the war in Iraq, Dan Rather and your boy Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

“Everyone in this room would agree that people in this country were misled in terms of the rationale of this war,” said Couric, adding that it is “pretty much accepted” that the war in Iraq was a mistake. “I’ve never understood why invading Iraq] was so high on the administration’s agenda when terrorism was going on in Afghanistan and Pakistan and that [Iraq] had no true connection with al Qaeda.”

Further, Katie said the Bush administration botched the war effort, calling it “accepted truths” that it erred by “disbanding the Iraq military, and leaving 100,000 Sunni men feeling marginalized and angry...[and] whether there were enough boots on the ground, the feeling that we’d be welcomed as liberators and didn’t need to focus as much on security.”

She added “I’d feel totally comfortable saying any of that at some point, if required, on television.” I bet you would, baby doll, I bet you would.

“The whole culture of wearing flags on our lapel and saying ‘we’ when referring to the United States and, even the ‘shock and awe’ of the initial stages, it was just too jubilant and just a little uncomfortable. And I remember feeling, when I was anchoring the ‘Today’ show, this inevitable march towards war and kind of feeling like, ‘Will anybody put the brakes on this?’ And is this really being properly challenged by the right people? And I think, at the time, anyone who questioned the administration was considered unpatriotic and it was a very difficult position to be in.”

Oh, Katie; I'm not into you as this controversial outspoken news diva, can't we go back to making omelets with Al Roker and wearing funny hats in the summer?

TMZ today, pit bullshit tomorrow

Yesterday we were excited when TMZ reported Brad and Angelinaface had adopted another kid, this time a pit bull named Lennie! "Finally", I thought, "they're done with children and moving on to a more sensible breed". Alas, now we're hearing the story is utter bullshit and we are heartbroken, leveled and forever scarred.

"Contrary to a report on celebrity gossip website TMZ, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have not adopted a pit bull puppy", so says The Celebrity Truth.

The barely-newsworthy story, in which TMZ accuses the couple of bad parenting, alleges that they "caught Brad in New York with Lennie, the Jolie-Pitt's brand new, white pit bull puppy. While the dog is certainly a cutie, adopting a juvenile pup may not be ideal for homes with young children… What on earth are they thinking?"

Celebrity Truth contacted Pitt's representative who confirmed that the story is "completely not true".

So, then who is Lennie? Bring him to me!

25 September 2007

Best rap record of all time?

Discuss.

Blogging from jail is the new black

There are really only two main rules in life you should live by:

1- Try not to have your car break down in the middle of nowhere, on a Sunday. No garages will open til Monday. You'll be stranded & fucked.

2- Try not to get arrested on a Saturday. You will spend the night & next day in jail. You'll be stranded & fucked.

This dude got locked up for 44 hours all because of an outstanding warrant for riding his bicycle on the sidewalk two years ago. Well, that and his ex-GF had filed a complaint against him.

Anyway, this is his story.

"Friday 7pm – Get a call on my cell. Detective Mark from the 78 (precinct) needs to see me. Nothing pressing he says. I tell him fine. 3pm tomorrow.

Saturday 3pm – I’m at the 78. I’m told my ex girlfriend, whom I haven’t even seen in over a month has filed a complaint against me. We were calling and emailing each other, but that is beside the point. A complaint is a complaint – and a complaint really isn’t that big of a deal. Standard procedure here is a DAT (desk appearance ticket) to happen in a month or so… I’d see a judge and he would evaluate the complaint and issue a verdict. I’ll skip the legal eagle stuff here and say the complaint was called ridiculous by the judge I did see (on Monday morning - 44 hours later).

3:30pm – turns out I have an outstanding warrant for riding my bicycle on the sidewalk in 2005.

3:31pm – turns out I’m under arrest on that warrant.

3:45pm – Mark (the detective), who is a very nice guy tells me how it’s going to be: I’ll be photographed and printed at the 78 and then transported to central booking to see my court appointed attorney and the judge. I should be done in a few hours.

3:46pm – I’m freaking out. Complaints, warrants, arrested, fingerprinted, put in a holding cell… I get to make a call or two. I have an attorney friend come down to see me…he basically says “it sucks you should be out in a few hours – just cooperate and chill out”.

My response: Fine

4:30pm – I’ve been printed, photographed, and treated quite nicely at the 78… as nice as nice can be inside and 8x8 cell.

5:45pm – Time to be transported to Central Booking….but “wait”, they say as we (my handcuffed self and two good cops) are walking out the door, “Central booking is a mess…people are waiting outside (cuffed with their cop escorts). Best wait here till that clears up.”

6:30pm – Getting gloomy in my cell. Central booking isn’t open and my only way home is through central booking – see an attorney – see the judge. It’s ok though; Central booking is open all night and they have night court till 1am.

7:30 – cell – I get a chicken sandwich from the sympathetic detective.

8:30 – cell – find out there are “computer problems” at central.

9pm – Central booking closed. I’m crushed. I’ll be spending the night at the 78th precinct. They should have it fixed in the morning. I’m told to be thankful I’m at the 78th. It’s the Ritz compared to Central.

11:30 pm -- 8am Sunday morning – rolling around on a 1 x 5 foot wooden bench in an 8x8 cell. No blanket, no pillow, no nothing. Getting sore.

Sunday – 8am – screamed at the top of my lungs for someone to take me to the bathroom. 30 minutes later someone came (she said she couldn’t hear me). I piss, I have a glass of water (note: start the clock)

9am or so – Mark’s (my arresting dicks) partner brings be a half bagel and coffee. Tells me they will take me down to central booking soon.

10am – nothing, nobody, I piss in the coffee cup – nobody can hear me yelling. 11am – nothing. I juggle the trio of napkins I rolled up from breakfast.

12pm – nothing… I beg officers going by (I can hear them, I can’t see them) for some water. They tell me they will get someone.

1pm – nothing. No water since 8am. No food since my half bagel. No word on central booking. 12 straight hours in an 8x8.

2pm – 6pm – nothing. At 6 I get one slice of pizza and a soda. I don’t drink soda…. I have a sip.

7pm – Myself and two other guys are finally taken to central booking… handcuffed "

continues here...

Back from Sephora

So I've just returned from Sephora where I sampled a few new men's fragrances. I can't recall them all but there was certainly a common thread throughout; The 3 M's: Mustard, Medicine and Miso. Yes, Miso!

My boy Issey has let me down. His original L'eau D'issey is untouchable; he took it a step further with the mysterious L'Eau Bleue D'Issey which is now off the shelves - like all good things. Then he started stumbling.

I was not feeling that bastardised L'Eau Bleue d'Issey Eau Fraiche at all. Issey took the wonderful L'Eau Bleue and lathered it in wintergreen medicine; it smells like a dentists office looks. I also found it lame that Issey gave in and did that "Pour Homme Summer 2005"; summer versions of fragrances are such shams; its like repackaging greatest hits albums. Anyway, so now his new L'Eau De Issey Intense smells like mustard; straight up, yellow hot dog mustard seed. Nasty.

That new CK fragrance, "Man", which everyone on the Broadway local will be wearing this winter smells like Wrigley's Doublemint gum; that's the main note. Yawn.

So Issey has his new toilet water called "Issey Intense" and now your boy Ermenegildo Zegna "ZegnaIntenso". God, everyone is so intense this year! Well, where the new Issey Intense smells like mustard, Ermenegildo Zegna's new creation smells like salty Miso soup. That's the main note on that one. And if the smell of fermenting soybeans doesn't have the ladies lining up in size order then I don't know what will.

I smelled Ushers new cologne; it smelled like Stetson basically with a hint of baby powder. Generic & boring. Last minute giftbox at Rite Aid type shit. Nice work, Ush!

I smelled a few others but I don't recall; next time I'll take notes. Overall I was very disappointed with the new men's fragrances.

I found my way over to Banana Republic because I'd been meaning to check out their "Black Walnut" and "Slate" fragrances. Slate was crap but the Black Walnut wasn't bad. It may be making an appearance on my pulse points very soon. The actual store smelled like a wet carpet though; it was quite gross. It sorta smelled like a broken air conditioner or like the first time you turn you car's A/C on after a long winter; in a word: nasty.

And I am so totally over the Body Shop and those fucking oils. Too much mandarin in the monitors! Jesus christ, guys! It smells like I've got my nose up a navel oranges asshole when I walk by. Can't we think of something else by now than hyper-cirtus?!?!

I'm confused

Alien

Mary Kate Ashley Olsen. I've always heard it said as if it were one person; one person, three names: Mary Kate Ashley Olsen. There were no commas, pauses or any of the tell-tale signs of a delineation.

But wait, now you're telling me one is Mary Kate and the other is Ashley? So then how come on the opening credits for Full House it shows one kid and says underneath "Mary Kate Ashley Olsen"? Do they have two heads?

I realise when they were little they were even more identical and they interchanged them like four different Mister Ed horses on Full House, never knowing the difference or being able to tell anyway.

So, Mary-Kate-Ashley-Olsen, thats how it will stay in my head. One name, two people, one person, maybe its three people: Mary, Kate and Ashely. Perhaps theres a third sister we don't know about; maybe they're a fucking hologram, who fucking knows; I couldn't separate the two now, its far too late in the game.

And does it really matter? Will one somehow break out and become more of a star than the other? I doubt it. Who could fucking tell anyway? They are homologous; completely indistinguishable from each other. It's a thesis-worthy phenom (take note college kids!)

Mary Kate Ashley Olsen it is. The human ambigram; Hollywood's retarded palindrome.

Big time Velvet Underground fan over here

Dude crashes Batmobile and dies

"Batman: The Dark Knight" is in production right now in the UK due to be released in theaters next summer.

A special effects technician working on the film was killed when a vehicle he was in crashed while on a stunt test run. That "vehicle" was none other than the motherfuckin' Batmobile!

The accident happened off-set while there was no filming taking place.

A spokesman said: "It appears one vehicle was undertaking some stunt driving and another 4x4 provided the camera platform. The second vehicle (a/k/a The Batmobile) and a camera operator were involved in a collision with a tree."

The special effects tech was pronounced dead at a test track in Longcross, near Chertsey, in Surrey.

Achtung Baby

Every day theres some non-article floating around about stupid "Posh Spice" and her David Beckham - still trying to get Americans to care about football. Like I said, these are non-articles; I am immune to the Beckhams existence; that is, until yesterday, when Posh was spotted at LAX in this glorious Luftwaffe outfit: Blitzkrieg twat!

Polish artist: Marek Szmidel

Not only does he paint portraits of Diamanda, everything he does is beautiful.
He's sort of got a Gustav Klimt thing going on.
Go see for yourself here and here and here

über Euro

Das Flattener

Ripped from the headlines of Kenn 24.com:

"Vinyl warps. Even if you treat your LP's with utmost care, it's common to find used albums too warped to get needle to groove. The Furutech DFV-1 LP Flattener works as a giant waffle iron for vinyl, delicately heating an LP just enough to get it flat without disturbing the audio grooves on the sides, then quickly cooling it to lock the new shape in place. Oh, and it's only $1,500!"

Related anecdote: We were on tour with the Misfits once, selling LP's on our merch table, somewhere in California. Kid comes up, picks up an LP and goes "Wow, this is a heavy calendar". We packed up the van, drove straight back to New York and all got jobs in banks. I mean, really, whats the point?

Grandpa pissed his pants again
He don't give a damn
Brother Billy has both guns drawn
He ain't been right since Vietnam

"Sweet home Alabama"
Play that dead band's song
Turn those speakers up full blast
Play it all night long

Daddy's doing Sister Sally
Grandma's dying of cancer now
The cattle all have brucellosis
We'll get through somehow

"Sweet home Alabama"
Play that dead band's song
Turn those speakers up full blast
Play it all night long

I'm going down to the Dew Drop Inn
See if I can drink enough
There ain't much to country living
Sweat, piss, jizz and blood

"Sweet home Alabama"
Play that dead band's song
Turn those speakers up full blast
Play it all night long

What is gelatin?

Gelatin is the bane of my existence; it's what prevents me from having my favourite candy: circus peanuts.

As a staunch vegetarian with a leather couch, I still abstain from eating gelatin because its animal derived; but what the fuck is it exactly?

For years I thought it just came from horses hooves and that was reason enough not to touch the stuff. Gelatin is always the ingredient that fucks something up from being vegetarian or vegan. When you're on the road and reading ingredients like a lunatic; just when you think you've found something new, BAM! theres gelatin as the final ingredient; almost as an afterthought. I've found gelatin in everything from chewing gum to ice cream. Normally, the cheaper the product, the better chance its got gelatin in it.

Gelatin (also gelatine, from French gélatine) is a translucent solid substance, colourless or slightly yellow, nearly tasteless and considered foul smelling, extracted from the collagen inside animals' connective tissue. Collagen is the main protein of the connective tissue in animals and the most abundant protein in mammals, making up about 25% of the total protein content.

Gelatin is used in food, pharmaceutical, photography, and cosmetic manufacturing. Substances containing gelatin or functioning in a similar way are called gelatinous. It's fucking gross. Shit extracted from the bones and connective tissues of animals such as the domesticated cattle, pigs and horses somehow winds up in your candy to give it that chewy but edible quality. How wonderful!

The worldwide production amount of gelatin is about 600 million pounds per year. On a commercial scale, gelatin is made from by-products of the meat and leather industry, mainly pork skins, pork and cattle bones, or split cattle hides. Recently, by-products of the fishery industry began to be considered as raw material for gelatin production because they eliminate most of the religious obstacles surrounding gelatin consumption.

Contrary what I always believed horns and hooves are not commonly used to make gelatin. The raw materials are prepared by different curing, acid, and alkali processes which are employed to extract the dried collagen hydrolysate. These processes may take up to several weeks, and differences in such processes have great effects on the properties of the final gelatin products.

Boiling certain cartilaginous cuts of meat or bones will result in gelatin being dissolved into the water. Depending on the concentration, the resulting broth, when cooled, will naturally form a jelly. BARF.

Special kinds of gelatin are made only from certain animals or from fish (known as K-gelatin) in order to comply with Jewish kosher laws. Vegetarians and vegans may substitute similar gelling agents such as agar, nature gum, carrageenan, pectin, or konnyaku sometimes referred to as "vegetable gelatins" although there is no chemical relationship; they are carbohydrates, not proteins.

"you've got the wrong guy, asshole"

The name "gelatin" is colloquially applied to all types of gels and jellies; but properly used, it currently refers solely to the animal protein product. There is no vegetable source for gelatin.

Gelatin hides where you least expect it. It will jump out from behind a wall and scare the shit out of you. Just when you thought you'd found a vegan jelly donut in a Kansas City Sunoco.

Marshmallows and gummy bears? You're fucked. I haven't ooten a marshmallow in years.

Gelatin may also be used as a stabiliser, thickener, or texturiser in foods. And this is where it will sneak up on you.

in your dreams

I've seen gelatin used in ice cream, jellies & jams, yogurt, cream cheese, and margarines; it is used, as well, in fat-reduced foods to simulate the mouth feel of fat and to create volume without adding calories. GROSS.

Don't get me started on isinglass because I'll puke.

"we've come for your blood"

Ninjas descend on Todt Hill

Suppose nows as good a time as any to talk about this ninja dude thats been terrorizing Todt Hill.

The Ninja Burglar, named so because of his wacky ninja outfit, has struck at least 16 homes and has actually encountered six home owners; but we're hearing SI cops are starting to freak out because the numbers are actually a lot higher than whats being reported and they just can't find this dude.

The so-called "Ninja Burglar" methodically opened every drawer in Mary Ann Carlo's jewelry box, taking her cherished possessions piece by piece.

Then, he neatly returned the empty jewelry pouches and drawers to their original position -- as if he had never been there. Awww, what a nice lil' ninja! He robs and he cleans!

The only sign her collection had been disturbed were the rings left lined up along the top of the dresser once she startled him while heading to bed.

"It's like he knew where everything was."

The couple is the latest victims of the shadowy intruder, burglarised Friday at around 10:30 p.m. Their home was the 16th hit in the Ninja's cat-burglary streak which has thus far evaded the NYPD's no-nonsense responses to crime scenes.

73-year-old Anna Jacobs told the Daily News about her July 18 encounter with the Todt Hill ninja, when he was standing at the foot of her bed. How did she know it was a stranger? "He was more graceful going around my bed than my husband would have been." Ooooh, cheap shots at the hubby in the Daily News; all right Anna!

OK, last time I checked a few good men lived in Todt Hill / Dongan Hills; so why hasn't this ninja wound up in the trunk of an El Dorado by now? Patience is a virtue I suppose.

This can only mean two things...

1- The aliens are Nazis.

2- All those mysterious crop circles were made by a few redneck assholes in a pick-up with a snowplow.

Cornfield in Washington Township, Mercer County, New Jersey.

Power moves

Muhahahahahahahhahahaahaha!

GQ describes itself as “the definitive guide to fashion and grooming,” but also has a history of carrying groundbreaking reporting and long-form writing.

Early this summer, Hillary's campaign learned that GQ was cooking up a story about infighting inside the walls of Hillaryland.

So Clinton’s aides pulled a page from the book of Hollywood publicists and offered GQ a stark choice: Kill the Hillary piece, or lose access to planned celebrity coverboy Bill Clinton.

Bill is/was slated to appear on the cover of GQ’s December issue, in which it traditionally names a “Man of the Year”.

Power move.

GQ editor Jim Nelson met the Clinton campaign’s demands and the offending article by Atlantic Monthly staff writer Josh Green was trashed.

Nelson said: “I don’t really get into the inner workings of the magazine, but I can tell you that yes, we did kill a Hillary piece. We kill pieces all the time for a variety of reasons.” Surrrrre!

The altercation with GQ opens a curtain on the Clinton campaign’s hard-nosed media strategy, which is far closer in its unromantic view of the press to the campaigns of George W. Bush than to that of Bill Clinton’s free-wheeling 1992 campaign.

The spiked GQ story also shows how the Clinton campaign has been able to use its access to the most important commodity in media — celebrity, and in fact two bona fide celebrities — to shape not just what gets written about the candidate, but also what doesn’t.

There’s nothing unusual about providing extra access to candidates to reporters seen as sympathetic, and cutting off those seen as hostile to a campaign. The 2004 Bush campaign banned a Times reporter from Dick Cheney’s jet, and Barack Obama briefly barred Fox News’s Carl Cameron from campaign travel.

But a retreat of the sort GQ is alleged to have made is unusual, particularly as part of what sources described as a barely veiled transaction of editorial leverage for access.

The Clinton campaign is unique in its ability to provide cash value to the media, and particularly the celebrity-driven precincts of television and magazines. Bill Clinton is a favourite cover figure, because his face is viewed within the magazine industry as one that can move product.

It’s a fact that gives the Clintons’ press aides a leverage more familiar to Hollywood publicists than even to her political rivals — less Mitt Romney and more Tom Cruise, whose publicists once required interviewers to sign a statement pledging not to write anything “derogatory” about the star.

The Clinton campaign has more sway with television networks than any rival. At the time Clinton launched her campaign, the networks’ hunger for interviews had her all over the morning and evening news broadcasts of every network — after her aides negotiated agreements limiting producers’ abilities to edit the interviews.

This past weekend, she pulled off another rare feat — sitting for interviews with all the major Sunday talk shows. In most cases, the Sunday shows will reject guests who have appeared on competing shows. Clinton’s team is also unusually aggressive in moving to smother potentially damaging storylines, as last spring when Wolfson and other aides took aim at an unflattering book by writers Jeff Gerth and Don Van Natta Jr.

"The Cowcatcher"

In railroading, the "cowcatcher" is the broom-like device mounted at the front of a locomotive to deflect obstacles from the track that might otherwise derail the train. Its now more commonly known as the "pilot"

Cowcatcher is still the common layman's usage, but this term is deprecated and has not been used by railroad workers for more than a century.

The device itself was invented by Charles Babbage in the 19th century, during his period of working for the Liverpool and Manchester Railway.

On a road locomotive, the cowcatcher has to successfully deflect an obstacle hit at speed; the ideal is to push it upwards and sideways out of the way. The locomotive should not lift on impact or the train will follow, and the ideal is for a fairly smooth structure so that the locomotive will not get caught and pulled sideways off the track either.

>

The typical shape is a blunt wedge that is shallowly V-shaped in plan. In the later days of steam locomotives, the front coupler was designed to swing out of the way also, so it could not get caught up; this was called a drop coupler pilot.

Early on, pilots were normally fabricated of bars mounted on a frame; later on, sheet metal pilots were often used for their additional smoothness, and some cast steel cowcatchers were employed for their mass and smooth shape. Early diesel locomotives followed the same plan.

Slower speed locomotives often had a cowcatcher with steps on it to allow yard workers to ride on the locomotive; these were called footboard pilots. Footboard pilots were outlawed for safety reasons in the 1960s and were removed. Modern locomotives often have front and rear platforms with safety rails where workers can ride.

Modern diesel locomotives have flatter, less wedge shaped pilots; this is because a diesel locomotive has the cab near the front, and the crew are vulnerable to impact from obstacles pushed up by the pilot. Indeed, most are fitted with a device known as an anticlimber above the coupler to prevent struck objects from travelling up over the frame and through the cab area.

Notorious B.I.G. Zapruder film surfaces

Out of nowhere this video has surfaced, some 10 years after BIG was shot and killed March 9th 1997 outside the Peterson Automotive Museum in LA.

Biggie was in California to promote his upcoming album and shoot a vid for "Hypnotize".

Life After Death was scheduled for release on March 25. On March 8 BIG presented an award at the 11th Annual Soul Train Music Awards in Los Angeles and was booed by some of the audience.

After that Biggie attended an after party hosted by Vibe magazine and Qwest Records at the Peterson Automotive Museum in Los Angeles. Other guests included Faith Evans, Puffy Diddo and members of the Bloods and Crips.

At 12:30 a.m., March 9, Biggie left with his entourage in two GMC Suburbans to return to his hotel after an announcement was made that the party would finish early. Biggie traveled in the front passenger seat alongside his associates, Damion "D-Rock" Butler, Junior M.A.F.I.A. member Lil' Cease and driver, Gregory "G-Money" Young. Combs traveled in the other vehicle with three bodyguards. The two trucks were trailed by a Chevrolet Blazer carrying Bad Boy's director of security.

By 12:45 a.m. the streets were crowded with people leaving the event. Biggie's truck stopped at a red light 50 yards from the museum. While waiting for the light to change, a white Toyota Land Cruiser made a U-turn and cut in-between Biggie's vehicle and the Chevrolet Blazer behind.

Simultaneously, a black Chevrolet Impala pulled up alongside Biggie's truck. The driver of the Impala - a black dude neatly dressed in a blue suit and bow tie - rolled down his window, drew a 9mm blue-steel pistol and shot numerous rounds into the GMC Suburban; four bullets hit Biggie in the chest.

Biggie was rushed to Cedars-Sinai by his entourage but was pronounced dead at 1:15 a.m. March 9, 1997.

I have no doubt this footage is real but the gunshots and the sirens are totally fake. It seems like someone just amped up and doctored some old footage. I think I have those exact sirens and gunshots on a sound effects CD somewhere.

Either way, its creepy to see the moments before it happened... 10 years ago.

It looks like Puff Diddo (white shirt, black fedora) stops and talks to the guy in the black Impala just before the shooting. Puff's truck was first, BIG was right behind him. When the trucks hit the red light, the Impala pulls up and fires on BIG's truck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwXWbbTTIE8

Coffee as an accessory; the coffee cult of personality

the sun will rise and set on the land of Venti Java Mint Chip Frappuccinos

I'm not 16 anymore; I'm not raging against the machine. I can appreciate / understand Starbucks turning coffee into a cult of personality and making bank doing it; simple genius. Don't hate on it just because you didn't think of it first... and Peet's did!

Starbucks took the quasi-intellectual sweater vest granola poetry coffee haus and turned it into an absolute necessity; a brand now tightly woven into modern lexicon of assumed and disposable decadence.

I just think its insane people wait on line for coffee; LONG lines, at 9 AM, they wait and the coffee isn't really all that great.

The coffee and the quality of the coffee itself has been eclipsed by Starbucks itself and their manufactured Starbucks cult of personality.

I'd bet 8 out of 10 people in the city wouldn't drink Starbucks if it came in an indecipherable paper cup; its not the coffee they love, its the ritual; the distinction; the status; the elite. It has gotta be as many parts that bullshit as it is the coffee itself.

People walk around NURSING these iced coffee drinks because they are fucking accessories; they chew on those green straws like babies gumming their bottle nipples.

Is this Brandenburg Gate? Why no, its the Starbucks Headquarters in Seattle... look at those evil mermaid eyes in the sky. Creepy!

Starbucks, in its unimaginable perspicacity, has turned coffee into the hot new handbag; the new dress; the hot new shoes; its coffee as an accessory, not simply a beverage.

You roam the streets of our fair city with that Seattle green mermaid emblem and it means you're DOWN with New York; you're DOWN with the coffee cult of personality; you KNOW whats up and you can AFFORD it; basically, you've arrived and you've GOT IT LIKE THAT.

Stalin!

AT&T and Apple sitting in a tree...

Back in the frontier days of touring before cellphones and email, we had these things we called "dialers". If you were in a band, on tour back in 96, 97, 98, at least one dude in the band had one of these things. It was essential on those early tours.

Radio Shack had some fairly inane invention where you could store your phone numbers in this little electronic "black book" which was about the size of a calculator.

You'd store your numbers so when you wanted to call someone, you just searched their name, put the dialer up to the receiver and it would play the tone of the number; allowing you to place the call without ever having to dial or remember the number you were calling.

Thinking back, we were really banging our heads into walls back then before the cellphone became as omnipresent as it is today.

So some friends of ours, those who would eventually become engineers, electricians or computer wizards, knew how to hack these Radio Shack memory dialers so that they could emulate the tones used by the phone company to signal the payment of a quarter. It had something to do with replacing the memory crystal with a 6.5 mHz crystal. I have no idea how it was done. I'd just buy the dialers, give my friend $20 and he'd give it back to me all set up.

So every time you put a quarter in the phone it would make a very specific staccato tone; if you had something that played this precise staccato tone into your receiver, the phone would think you were entering a quarter every time.

So you'd dial the number, and it would tell you "Please deposit such-and-such for 5 minutes" and you'd just press the tone button as many times as you need quarters; one tone was one quarter. It was genius and a real lifesaver on those early tours before Map Quest and all that shit.

But guess who came up with this dialer thing? Guess who realised if you emulated those tones, you could make free calls?

Motherfuckin' Steve Jobs invented that shit back in 1971, after reading an article in Esquire Magazine.

Back in 1971, Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak (the founders of Apple) went into business to build "blue boxes" (I guess thats what they were called out West, out here we just knew them as "dialers"). The device allowed you to make free illegitimate phone calls by faking the signals used by AT&T.

And now AT&T just so happens to be Apple’s exclusive network carrier for the iPhones. Remember? Hmmmm.

From Wikipedia:
An early phreaking tool, the blue box is an electronic device that simulates a telephone operator’s dialing console. It functions by replicating the tones used to switch long-distance calls and using them to route the user’s own call, bypassing he normal switching mechanism. The most typical use of a blue box was to place free telephone calls - inversely, the Black Box enabled one to receive calls which were free to the caller. The blue box no longer works in most western nations, as modern switching systems are now digital and no longer use the in-band signaling which the blue box emulates. Instead, signaling occurs on an out-of-band channel which cannot be accessed from the line the caller is using (called Common Channel Interoffice Signaling (CCIS)).

The Apple Founders not only built the devices, but Steve Jobs also sold them to other students at Berkeley. Allegedly they demonstrate the product by making prank calls.

So if Steve Jobs is a true visionary, he is the man who sees the future, why would he go behind his fellow hackers to stop them from unlocking iPhone? Evidently, iPhone unlocking is in Apple’s interest.

Apple’s core business is hardware and it relies on the sales of its products. The iPhone is gateway for Apple like iPod, which will help them to increase in brand popularity and more hardware sales.

Apple needed a carrier to launch iPhone and they signed up with AT&T with an undisclosed revenue sharing deal. The revenue generated from AT&T subscriptions won’t be a significant amount compared to the revenue from hardware sales.

It is AT&T who is more worried about iPhone hackers, not Apple. That’s why AT&T lawyers went knocking on the doors of iPhone hackers while Apple took a “neutral” stance on the unlocking issue. Unlocking a cell phone is legal and not a violation of laws.

Apple can’t stop anyone from unlocking any a cell phone. But, it is obliged to make iPhone as “unhackable” as possible because of the exclusivity deal with AT&T. At a recent Apple event in London, Jobs tactfully acknowledged with his statement “It’s a cat-and-mouse game”. It is evident that Apple is in the ‘mouse’ position in current scenario and they are ready with a new firmwire version which will lock the iPhones again to make AT&T and O2 happy.

We know there is no such thing as “unhackable”. Sooner or later, iPhone hackers will be able to hack and supply an upgrade version of their software to unlock the newer firmware versions. The cat-and-mouse game will continue, customers with unlocked iPhones will be able to upgrade with the newer version of firmware once the updated unlock solution comes out.

This site/page is amazing, give it a spin.

the east coast dialer a/k/a "red box" circa 1997

The Carnies are coming! The Carnies are coming!

So now that the San Gennaro is sadly over and all the deep fried Oreo oil has been carted off, the powdered sugar packed away and the goldfish in their plastic bags swim another day, the Carnies are packing up, too; soldering on heading due South to Bay Ridge for next weekend's 3rd Avenue Festival.

Coincidentally, Gawker sat down with a few of the Carnies and asked them where they were headed next.

I love you

Honey, wouldn't a 68 Χ 94 oil painting of Joe Gannascoli look amazing over the mantle? OH MY GOD, THERE IT IS!

total carnie

8-bit suicide

Wasn't that always one of the first things you did as a kid? After you became bored playing the same shit, you'd start a new game to just see if you could throw yourself off ledges and find ways to kill yourself on purpose. Our first taste of suicide? Hmmm. There may be a real article in here somewhere but let's not go looking for that now, K?

I was never all that into video games, I never had the attention span, the skill or the patience. So the video game suicide urges usually came after only a few games; after I'd set it on 2 player and just leave the other control dead for a few games, I'd decide "OK, now I'm just gonna climb this ladder and try and jump off it" or "now I'm just gonna jump from that ledge to this bridge and I know I'll never make it".

The peculiar curiosity of death; vicariously living, or should I say dying, through your little 8-bit self.

Even years and years later, as a late 20-something on tour in Europe, after playing Tekken 3 for an hour, we'd have a suicide match just to see if we could beat the other player off the roof where he'd fall to meet his untimely doom.

So I guess now theres a game that capitalises on this suicide phenom/fantasy. Theres a new interactive snuff film called Pain.

The game, which will be released this fall for the PlayStation 3, has a simple premise: Using a giant slingshot, inflict as much damage as possible on your character. Fling him into the sky or slam him against a bus. Send him sprawling across a busy city skyline and onto the hoods of passing cars. The more creative the death, the better. Pain will even reportedly include an option for a kind of suicidal H-O-R-S-E, wherein players attempt to mimic each other's onscreen disasters.

It's probably genius, and the game has already garnered a good deal of attention. The company is simply riffing off a decades-old impulse, one that dates back to the earliest days of gaming. What'll happen if my car goes flying off the track? How about when Mario falls into the fire pit? From the first NES console to modern shooters, we've always used self-destruction to push at the edges of our favourite video games.

Click here for a slide-show history of video game masochism from Slate.

Screen shots from PAIN

No-Spin Zone My Balls

This past week FOX News obsessed about the MoveOn.org advert story and covered O.J. Simpson's latest rendez-vous the law, but there was much more going on which impacted the 172,000 troops our country has stationed in Iraq.

In my opinion, FOX News used both stories to avoid reporting what was going on in that war-torn country.

U.S. troops in Iraq found out that they will not be getting a year off between deployments because Republicans in the Senate voted down a measure that Senators Jim Webb and Chuck Hagel had proposed which would have insured all soldiers are given a year off between deployments to Iraq.

That was just one example of what was taking place in Iraq last week.

There were other events tied to the war in Iraq that went virtually unnoticed - stories that were relegated to the back burner or just not covered in the MoveOn-O.J. media blitz:

1) 7 U.S. soldiers were killed in Iraq
2) Three-fourths of all Iraqis claim the "surge" is not working
3) Over 9 BILLION dollars of U.S. taxpayer money is missing in Iraq
4) There has been an uptick in the number of soldiers suffering from brain problems due to the war in Iraq
5) A new poll indicates one million Iraqis have died since the U.S. invaded and occupied Iraq
6) The CBO (Congressional Budget Office) projects the U.S. will be in Iraq for decades at a cost in the trillions of dollars.

Our country has 172,000 young men and women serving in the military in Iraq. For FOX News Channel to engage in media overkill of the O.J. robbery and fake outrage because MoveOn exercised its constitutional right of free speech is a slap in the face of every brave young American serving our country.

Freeze my head; Thaw my soul.

Speaking of nitrogen...

There's a company called Alcor out in Arizona. Its a small nonprofit company built on the spectacular wager that it can rescue its patients from natural post-mortem deterioration until a distant time when cellular regeneration, nanotechnology, cloning or some other science can restart their lives, as if the diseases, heart attacks, old age, murders or accidents that concluded their first go-rounds had never happened.

The live-in customers at the Alcor Life Extension Foundation here reside in eight 10-foot-high steel tanks filled with liquid nitrogen. They are incapable of breathing, thinking, walking, riding a bike or scratching an itch. But don't refer to them as deceased.

They may be frozen at minus 320 degrees Fahrenheit and identified by prison-like numbers but to Alcor, the 67 bodies - in many cases, just severed heads - are patients who may live again if science can just figure out how to reanimate them.

So far, nobody has been revived. And there is little evidence that anybody ever will be. The first intentionally frozen man, James Bedford, is still here - 38 years after his official death and 20 years after he was moved from a storage facility where his family kept him frozen in liquid nitrogen. No one has been thawed out, except for a woman whose sister successfully sued to get the body out of deep freeze.

Alcor's most renowned frozen parts - the head and trunk of the once-mighty Ted Williams, the Boston Red Sox Hall of Famer - are in one of the gigantic tanks. He is there despite a protracted family feud that balanced his will, which stated his desire to be cremated, against a note he signed from a sickbed, which said he preferred to be frozen. The note won.

Alcor aren't the only ones fucking with cryonics but they really only have one full-service rival, the Cryonics Institute, outside Detroit, which has preserved 68 bodies so far.

The service offered by these fledgling companies is not cheap.

If you hand your head - or "neuro" - over to Alcor, it costs $80,000; if you freeze your body, the price rises to $150,000. The Cryonics Institute charges much less: $28,000 for a full body. In any case, many people who are willing to believe that their severed head can be reanimated and attached to a new body at some unknown time in the distant future are not ones to fret about costs. Alcor says nearly all the future frozen buy life insurance policies to cover their fees, and designate the company as the beneficiary.

Charlie Matthau, son of the actor Walter Matthau, who died in 2000 and had a traditional burial, says he recognizes that cryonics is on the fringe. He said he asked his rabbi for religious guidance in his decision. "People believe in the most bizarre stuff," Matthau said. "It's a long shot that probably won't work, but it beats the alternative."

The 41-year old Charlie Matthau signed up with Alcor in his late teens after reading about it in a magazine. His insurance premium, he said, "is cheaper than what I pay for parking."

Charlie tried to persuade his father to join him in the liquid nitrogen but did not succeed. His father said, "I don't want to do it because it might work and I don't want to come back as a carnival act."

To raise the comfort level with its services, Alcor offers tours of its facility to anyone wanting to take one. The tours include a visit to the operating room, though not when a medical team prepares lifeless bodies for freezing by pumping them full of chemicals to protect their insides from ice formation or by taking 15 minutes or so to saw off a head - technically a "cephalic isolation." The tours, however, do include a walk through the "patient bay," the banks of tanks full of bodies and heads.

Tanya Jones, Alcor's C.O.O., has the ready smile and willing demeanor of a hotel concierge. She wants to please, if not proselytise, you. Her head - and perhaps her whole body - will one day be preserved inside one of the tanks that dwarf her as she gives a tour.

"The people who do this are very optimistic about technology and believe life is worth living," she said calmly, but with subtle excitement in her voice. "If we can prove this works, everybody will know about us."

Proving that it will work, of course, will take time. Perhaps that proof is what is needed to build a larger customer base. So far, after 33 years in business, the nonguaranteed promise of a second life has yielded only 52 frozen heads, 15 gelid bodies and 721 warm-blooded, still-breathing, dues-paying members.

Joseph Waynick, president and CEO of the Alcor Life Extension Foundation, releasing an icy soul into the atmosphere

Nitrogen City

For years I've wondered what those nitrogen tanks are doing hanging out on NYC corners like some sort of futuristic snowman having a cigarette break.

I rooted around a bit but seemed to find a different explanation everywhere I looked - cooling telecommunication lines; cooling electric transformers; preventing corrosion of copper lines; identifying leaks in sewage pipes; plugging leaks, and so on.

Alas, while I can not reveal my sources, I've learned the nitrogen is used to keep moisture out of telecom cables. The tanks slowly push the gas into the copper phone lines, keeping them somewhat dry. The tanks are replaced every couple of days and they aren't dangerous, though they look it. Apparently they've been nailed by cars a few times and held together fine and didn't blow up Manhattan.

Another reason to love New York; there can be two or three giant nitrogen gas tanks on every corner and we think nothing of it.

Back in the saddle

Took a trip down to Baltimore this weekend to visit my good friend Double R. I hadn't gone on a road trip in a while. After a dozen years globe trotting like a desperado, my feet have been firmly planted in Brooklyn for the past few months. I'd forgotten what its like to walk into a rest stop covered in tattoos; in some places, people still gawk, point, grab their children and recoil in horror.

Double R lives in this wonderful little neighbourhood called Seton Hill, which was once known as Baltimore’s French Quarter.

Seton Hill is approximately ten blocks north of Camden Yards and the University of Maryland...

And it's very Euro; lots of cobblestones, little Dutch-looking rowhouses, gothic revival architecture, crunchy October leaves in September fallen from shady trees which canopy St. Mary's Street and the majority of the homes standing today, which date from the early 1800’s, were built in the Federal or Victorian architectural style of 19th Century row houses.

It's all quite quaint and placid, nestled in the shadow of St. Mary’s Seminary. Some homes still show evidence of secret underground tunnels connecting with the old seminary building and used to transport food from the kitchens and believed later to be part of the Underground Railroad.

I'll always have a soft spot for Havre de Grace but I must admit I fell in love with Seton Hill and we barely even left the house.

Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us without words?

The great mime Marcel Marceau has died.

Marceau's signature style - the white face with clownish eyes, the striped pullover, baggy pants, and flower-trimmed top hat - grew out of the tradition of the 19th-century harlequin. That tradition, in turn, had its roots in Italian commedia dell'arte, with its stock characters and broad physical comedy. Some of Mr. Marceau's work, particularly the longer pieces he performed with his company, also showed the influence of such diverse theatrical traditions as the masks of ancient Greece and the stylized movements of Japanese Noh performers. But his cinematically concise gestures, Mr. Marceau said, were inspired in part by his childhood idols, Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin.

He was 84.

21 September 2007

I've said before I loathe "adult cartoon" shows. Simpsons should've ended years ago and I never got into any of that Adult Swim shit with the chocolate shake and the french fries or whatever the fuck Æon Flux or some shit. But Family Guy I'll watch if someone puts it on and someone always puts it on. The writing is so subtle and sublime and clever; shits tight, son.

Best of family guy

Taxi Flower Power

Taxis have been in the news a lot lately because they keep blowing up. But recently a few of my dear friends have asked me what the deal was with all these taxis with flowers painted all over them; I'm honoured that they asked me. So, I'll try my best to explain what its all about because I don't really get it either. In fact, the whole story is so fucking sweet and sad, it makes me sick.

First time I saw the flowiz, I thought they were actually hand painted on the cab itself alas its actually a decal and there are a few different decals - 6 kinds to be exact. They were all painted by kids from the city’s public schools and hospitals, and a small fraction were painted by children in New Jersey, Philadelphia, Atlanta, Cleveland and Los Angeles.

The whole thing is called "Garden in Transit" and it was put together by a nonprofit group called Portraits of Hope.

The project was intended to provide creative therapy for seriously ill and disabled children, but has expanded to include children and adults participating through schools, after-school programs, hospitals and nonprofit groups.

The cabs aren't the first thing actually, they've decorated blimps, buildings, tugboats, airplanes and race cars; the taxicabs are simply the group’s latest effort. But before this, no one had any idea about this shit.

Bernie Massey, the co-founder of Portraits of Hope, said the flowers were chosen for the project because children everywhere — including the hospital wards the brothers visited — draw them. “It’s the one universal symbol of hope, beauty, life, joy, inspiration,” he said.

Ed Massey, the other founder, came up with the idea 7 years ago in the spring of 2000, and after preliminary meetings with the TLC, Bernie Massey, his older brother, led a team in developing educational and civic engagement elements for the project.

The taxi commission and Bloomberg unanimously agreed to support the project in July 2006.

The cab owners and drivers do not have to pay for the flower patterns, and participation is voluntary. The vinyl flowers do not damage the cabs and are easily removed.

The organisers hoped to get a majority of the city’s 13,000 yellow cabs to participate. Each cab can accommodate two or three panels; each panel has one to five flowers on it. About 27,600 panels have been painted, enough for each cab to have two.

Garden in Transit is a privately financed effort that has included about $1.5 million in cash donations so far.

I dunno, I still don't get it but they're beautiful to look at.

Dude from System Of A Down beat up the dude from Mastodon

Last week we reported Mastodon's Brent Hinds had gotten served after the VMA's by some dude. Turns out it wasn't Captain Ahab but Shavo Odadjian. Who? Oh, the zany diminutive bass player from System Of A Down.

From Las Vegas Weekly:

"Although System of a Down have been on indefinite hiatus since May 2006, Shavo Odadjian was apparently in town to support longtime bandmate singer Serj Tankian, who joined the Foo Fighters for a rendering of the Dead Kennedys classic “Holiday in Cambodia.”

According to the police report, tensions ran high after Hinds began drunkenly “annoying” Odadjian and Hudson inside the Palms following the conclusion of the VMAs."

According to a Metro police report, the September 10 fight that landed Mastodon frontman Brent Hinds in University Medical Center’s intensive care unit with brain hemorrhaging, a broken nose and two black eyes began as a skirmish between Hinds and Shavo Odadjian, bassist for multiplatinum metal band System of a Down.

According to the police report—based on firsthand accounts and corroborated by hotel-security video footage—an inebriated Hinds was leaving Mandalay Bay around 3 a.m. when he encountered Odadjian and musician William Hudson at the hotel’s west valet area.

Hinds took off his shirt and hit Odadjian with it, then struck Hudson in both the face and chest, prompting Odadjian to advise Hinds “to relax,” several times, according to the police report.

The police report then indicates both Odadjian and Hudson punched Hinds in the face, knocking him to the ground. An unidentified friend of Hinds, who reportedly witnessed the event, rushed to the musician’s aid and apologised to Odadjian and Hudson, saying Hinds was “just drunk,” according to the police report. Odadjian and Hudson were both questioned by police on the scene.

No charges had been filed at press time, though the police report lists Hudson as a “suspect,” facing a possible charge of “battery with substantial bodily harm.” The police report lists Odadjian as a “witness.”

Park(ing) Day

I'm very sorry folks, but this is fucking retarded.

Apparently today couldn't just be the beautiful DEATH of summer, we now have to share September 21st with goddamn National Park(ing) Day... a day where the granolas come out in full force to turn a few wonderful, hard-to-find parking spots into little "hey, look at us!" patches of grass. In a word, this is just dumb.

National Park(ing) Day is a "series of public art projects nationwide to celebrate parks and promote the need for more parks in America's cities."

"National Park(ing) Day is an opportunity to reclaim public parking spaces for parks and open spaces - places for people to enjoy.

The quality of our daily experience is only enhanced by often neglected necessities like parks, playgrounds, and gardens - places that get us in touch with nature, with each other, and with ourselves. "

Hmmmm. OK, but these are cities. LA and New York City aren't exactly known for their lush greenery. You want parks? Go to the fucking country. What I mean is, don't move to a big city and bitch about the lack of verdure or you'll be sitting in a parking spot on astroturf drinking a goddamn lemonade like an asshole.

hi, we're retarded.

Also, lets talk about all the gas I'll be wasting and all the air I'll be-a pollutin' rootin' around looking for a spot now that half of them are parks! Are we thinking about that, fellas?

And this ish is going down from Manhattan to Manchester, from Rio to Wisconsin!! I'm sorry, its cute, but its just silly and will actually make for more pollution.

I'd love to see a desperate SUV'er barrel into one of these "parks" in reverse, not even realising there were people sitting there eating their curds and whey. Now THAT would be awesome!

We ♥ Our Customers

If you'd asked me yesterday I'd have told you the miracle of life is rice pudding, but today its a nice, pressed, heavily starched shirt.

An open letter to my dry-cleaner on 86th street:

Sir, I've had five or six shirts being held hostage by you going on 2 weeks now. You are never open and I need my goddamn shirts!

Sign says you're open til 7 o'clock everyday. Dudes don't get home from work til 7 pal, and who the fuck do u think needs their dry cleaning done?!

NBC 4 wised up and put a newscast on at the 7 o'clock slot because hardly anyone is home from work by 6pm much less 5pm!

I go by your store as soon as I get home and it looks like you've been closed for hours already. Gone. Done. Gates up. Lights off. What the fuck are you doing in there? You got bored? Went home? I need my shirts, you fuck!

I'm coming there today after work, and if you ain't open, there's gonna be beef because I'll be away all weekend and you're closed on Sunday.

Don't make me roll up the sleeves on my French blue Wall Street power shirt!

"Mixed emotions, buddy. Like Larry Wildman going off a cliff in my new Maserati."

Sure, Tuesday’s Trader Monthly “30 Under 30” party in New York was a hot invite, with over 800 attendees, but one shudders at the length Timothy Sykes, up-and-comer turned trading laughingstock, went to try to get in.

Sykes, who was on last year’s “30 Under 30” list, tried painfully to brand himself as a financial expert and bon vivant, while his small hedge fund began losing money with uncanny monthly regularity.

de Gawker: Tim Sykes, the the butler-having star of 'Wall Street Warriors', has fallen on some very hard times. He says that, due to investment in illiquid stocks, he is "unable to raise any money, unable to take any trading risk so all I can do is take advantage of my publicity efforts and turn that into my new career."

Sykes is now a reporter for TheStreet.com and he does some ish with MSN Money.

Behold the Timothy Sykes grovel chain: This all comes from Tim's email correspondence with Trader Monthly who banned him from their big party this week.

In return, he offered them five great reasons why he should be reinvited! You see, he's now a financial expert in the media—even though his hedge fund bit it!

Once again, alllllll abooooaaaardd the Timothy Sykes grovel train:

"1. Rachel and I talked / emailed last week about me coming and she was fine with it,so I made plans to meet up with nearly a dozen friends. Some of these people I haven't seen in a very long time and we've been talking all weekend about what we'll do after the party. For me to bail on them at the last second would be extremely rude.

2. I will have no cameras and will not be covering the party for my new jobs as reporter for TheStreet.com (I'll be starting as a writer in a few weeks) and MSN Money (I am their goto video guy). I'll be low-key, really.

3. I invited 2 female friends who went out and bought new dresses for this event. I don't know how to explain it to them that I can't attend with them.

4. While you guys seem to think 'I've made a mockery of the list' with my eccentric behavior, other media outlets now recognize me as a finance expert / personality. Sure I have an ego, but my position is backed by CNBC (7 appearances since the beginning of the year), CNN (I debated greed with the most powerful religious leaders last month), FOX (I was on Cavuto on July 4th), Oprah and Friends Radio (they loved my book and are having me on in a few weeks), Young Money (I will be their cover story for their October issue, Penthouse (I will have a feature story in their Christmas issue), and Wiley (they offered me a $35k advance for my book).

5. You guys are took a pretty good shot at me in this latest issue so even if you really believe I somehow embarrassed you last year, I consider us even. "

Now that my blog has turned into a celeb gossip e-rag, what better time for some celebrity birthdays!!! Oooh, maybe later we'll do some horoscopes!

Nicole Richieface is 26 today.

Douchey-douche Liam Gallagher turns 35.

my boy Leonard Cohen is 73.

Stephen King, Dave Coulier and Bill Murray all turn a year older today, too.

"I Won't Stick Any of You Unless and Until I Can Stick All of You!"

So word on at my local OTB is Kim KardASShian is going to be in Playboy... yeah and?

Well, now it looks like she's also going to be Miss December and her pics will bare more than originally planned, but still not much at all, considering...

We're hearing The Ass will flash a boob, and her bare butt. But that's it!

The lawyers daughter is getting a goddamn 12-page spread, one of the biggest spreads Playboy has done in a very long time, and she's only gonna show us a rogue boob and a single butt cheek? Yo, what the F?!

"It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever"

Oh those zany M.I.T. students... let me tell ya...

19-year old MIT sophomore Star Simpson was arrested at gunpoint early today at Logan International Airport. She had a fake bomb strapped to her chest and later claimed it was artwork. Nigga, please.

The MIT genius had a computer circuit board and wiring in plain view over a black hoodie.

She said that it was a piece of art and she wanted to stand out on career day; she claims that it was just art, and that she was proud of the art and she wanted to display it. Oh, shut up.

The battery-powered rectangular device had nine flashing lights. Simpson also had Play-Doh in her hands when she was arrested.

The phrases "Socket to me" and "Course VI" were scrawled on the back of her sweatshirt. Course VI appears to be a reference to MIT's major of electrical engineering and computer science. Wooooo! Shout out to my boys in Course VI!

Simpson was charged with disturbing the peace and possessing a hoax device, and was to be arraigned in East Boston District Court later today.

Cops said Simpson was "extremely lucky she followed the instructions or deadly force would have been used."

"She's lucky to be in a cell as opposed to the morgue." hahahahaha! dolt!

She was arrested about 8 a.m. outside Terminal C, home to United Airlines, Jet Blue and other carriers.

A Port Authority staffer manning an info booth in the terminal became suspicious when Simpson, wearing the device, approached to ask about an incoming flight.

Simpson then walked outside, and the info booth attendant notified a nearby trooper.

The trooper, joined by others with submachine guns!!, confronted her at a traffic island in front of the terminal.

"She was immediately told to stop, to raise her hands and not to make any movement, so we could observe all her movements to see if she was trying to trip any type of device,"

Star Simpson (noun) : a person who is mentally retarded in general but who displays remarkable aptitude in some limited field (usually involving electrical engineering or computer science)

"Had she not followed the protocol, we might have used deadly force."

Pare said Simpson took a subway to the airport, but he was not sure if she had the device on at that time.

She told authorities she was at the airport to greet someone arriving on a flight from Oakland. Authorities verified information as to the name of the passenger she was greeting, and said he had already left the airport.

"She did seem a bit upset that she was in custody. However, she was rational, and she did answer all questions as required," some dude said.

I've met people like Star before; they are so smart, they are practically retarded. They think the dumbest shit is funny. For instance, this is her site, check it out.

Fun fact: Star pulled her brilliant stunt today at Logan International Airport... You may or may not recall, two of the four airplanes hijacked on Sept. 11, 2001, took off from Logan.

"In this day and age, the threat continues to be there," said a cop. "She certainly jeopardized her own safety by bringing this to the airport, as well as the safety of everybody around her."

You may also recall Boston was the focus of a major security scare in January when dozens of battery-powered devices were discovered in various locations. Bomb squads were deployed, and highways, bridges and some transit stations were temporarily closed. They turned out to be a promotion for Cartoon Network's retarded Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Remember back in August when a heavy rain brought the center of the universe to its knees? Well I guess the MTA is now implementing "corrective action plans for top flood-prone locations" by designing some hot new street furniture to "raise vent heights to prevent water inflow." Uh, yeah, what he said.

Last week the MTA, NYCT, and NYCDOT co-sponsored a design contest with a few of the top urban designers to help develop solutions to the flooding problem. And who doesn't love a good artists rendering of the future? (pics stolen from Gothamist)

click to enlarge

Antenna Design, Grimshaw Architects, and Rogers Marvel Architects all came up with ideas for the Queens Boulevard F train on Hillside Avenue, which suffered some of the worst flooding back in August.

According to the top-secret August 8 storm report, the "MTA has already begun to work with the city and the Art Commission, which reviews all such street fixtures" and expects to follow the "more formal review process to come up with a final product that works for all" in the next 30 days.

OK, but heres the best part, click on those drawings up there... how fucking skater-friendly are those things!? Especially the Rogers Marvel design.

I'm talking about 50-50's, bluntslides, crail slides, boardslides, hurricanes, Smith grinds, Losi grinds, nosegrinds, noseslides, darkslides... forget it. Skaters everywhere are thanking the gods for that August rain because this new street furniture is gonna get tore up!

If it's hard, grind it!

"...crazy day at the office, hun"

Euro Hits New High, Crests $1.40 Level...

Gold hits highest level since 1980...

Oil Prices Hit $83 a Barrel...

Bernanke: Fresh Assurances on Economy

Goldman Sachs, Bear Stearns, FedEx, Nasdaq in focus

Bear Stearns Net Drops Most in Decade on Credit Rout

Canadian Dollar Trades Equal to U.S. Dollar for First Time Since 1976 ...

Fears of dollar collapse on Saudis concerns...

Johnny Rotten calls Sting a 'dead carcass'...

Note to self: Read "The Art of Writing: 10 Tips from the Masters"

As the world becomes increasingly digital, writing becomes more important. This is especially true for non-writers.

If you work in an office, the majority of your communications are made with text by email or IM.

Whether you like it or not, your ability to exchange ideas, collaborate with others, and ultimately succeed, hinges on the ability to write effectively.

Here are some tips to help you improve style and substance, straight from the pens of humanity’s finest authors.

Writing Tips

1. Cut the boring parts

I try to leave out the parts that people skip. ~Elmore Leonard

Unless you’re writing for personal reasons alone, you need to consider the attention of your readers. There’s no point is publishing content that isn’t useful, interesting, or both.

2. Eliminate unnecessary words

Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very;” your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain

I used to feel that using words like “really”, “actually”, or “extremely” made writing more forceful. It doesn’t. They only get in the way. Cut them and never look back.

3. Write with passion Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. ~William Wordsworth
It’s not hard to realise that unless you’re excited about your writing no one else will be.

4. Paint a picture

Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. ~Anton Chekhov
Simply stating something is fine, but when you need to capture attention, using similes, metaphors, and vivid imagery to paint a picture creates a powerful emotional response.

5. Keep it simple

Vigorous writing is concise. ~William Strunk Jr.

Maybe it was all those late nights, struggling to fill out mandatory 10 page papers, but many people seem to think that worthwhile writing is long and drawn out. It’s more difficult (and effective) to express yourself in the simplest possible manner.

6. Do it for love

Write without pay until somebody offers to pay. ~Mark Twain
When you’re just starting out it’s hard to decide where to begin. So don’t. Just start writing. A blog is a good place to start. The most valuable benefit is the feedback.

7. Learn to thrive on criticism

You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance. ~Ray Bradbury
Writing means putting yourself at the mercy of anonymous hecklers and shameless sycophants. Learn to make the most of the insults and distrust the praise.

8. Write all the time

Quantity produces quality. If you only write a few things, you’re doomed. ~Ray Bradbury

The way you define yourself as a writer is that you write every time you have a free minute. If you didn’t behave that way you would never do anything. ~John Irving
9. Write what you know … or what you want to know

If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts; and if any would write in a noble style, let him first possess a noble soul. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Learn as much by writing as by reading. ~Lord Acton

Successful writing is all about trust and authority. It makes sense to write about your area of expertise. If you don’t have an expertise, reading and writing is the best way to develop one and put it on display.

10. Be unique and unpredictable

I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite. ~G.K. Chesterton

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. ~Oscar Wilde

Zest. Gusto. How rarely one hears these words used. How rarely do we see people living, or for that matter, creating by them. Yet if I were asked to name the most important items in a writer’s make-up, the things that shape his material and rush him along the road to where he wants to go, I could only warn him to look to his zest, see to his gusto. ~Ray Bradbury
Following what works will only get you so far. Experiment with new styles, even if it means taking criticism. Without moving forward, you’ll be left behind.

by John Wesley

What did I tell you? Every 3,000 miles!

It's taxi infero: part two... this time we're on West 42nd Street and 8th Avenue just a few blocks from Tuesday's taxi inferno outside Rockefeller Center. HOLLA!

Gotta get that oil changed every 3,000 miles, pal!

amazing photo by Eva Schweitzer

read

05 October 2007

04 October 2007

03 October 2007

02 October 2007

01 October 2007

30 September 2007

28 September 2007

27 September 2007

26 September 2007

25 September 2007

24 September 2007

21 September 2007

20 September 2007