1. Al Sharpton tells Bill Clinton to 'Shut Up'
Today on "The View," Al Sharpton said voters are hearing "race charges, race-tinged rhetoric" in the Democratic primary campaign, and called on the former president to cease. "I think it's time for him to just be quiet," said Sharpton, who was a Democratic presidential candidate in 2004. "I think it's time for him to stop. As one of the most outspoken people in America, there's a time to shut up, and I think that time has come." Hello, kettle? This is pot!!!! Fucking hell, I really, really do not like Al Sharpton. He's talking about "race-tinged rhetoric"!?!???! Every other word out of his mouth is somehow to incite racial hatred and riots. Al Sharpton incites racism under the banner of fighting it with misguided and ill-researched everything. And it's all only to further his own political agendas.
2. American Spy Satellite Loses Power, Plummets Towards Earth
What weights about 10-tons and is the size of a city bus? An American spy satellite that has lost power and could hit the Earth in the next few weeks, say anonymous, job-fearing "government officials". Bruce Willis, Armageddon anyone? Read what we said about it last night. We were panicking way before you!
3. Daily Mail accidentally puts Nigella's face on Jehovah's Witness child abuse sex torture story
Way to go, lads!
4. I Don't Even Collect Or Wear Sneakers And I Need This Shirt
$30 from PickYourShoes.com