30 January 2008

Synonym-Challenged Kravitz Still Singing About Love

When the foremost Jimi Hendrix/Bootsy Collins impersonator says it's time for a love revolution, you had better act accordingly and revolt!



I'm all for music about love, in fact I think music should be about little else, but Lenny is just so fucking cheesy. If there's such a thing as retro-retro, that's Lenny.



Lenny is retro like The Black Crowes were when they first came out, in 1989. Remember when Sony had those "My First Walkman" things? Well Lenny Kravitz is like "My First 60's Retro Band".

Lenny is retro like that first pair of Gap bell bottoms you wore in 7th grade and that Navajo Indian turquoise peace sign bolo tie you bought at the mall in '91. The same day you bought that Ying-Yang baja jacket.

The dude is barely poetic. The man cannot sing about love without actually saying the word!

I took a look back into this numbskull's back catalog to see how many songs he had that mentioned "love" in the title. I count 13:

"Anti Love Song (Sung with Skin)"
"Battlefield Of Love"
"Come On And Love Me"
"God Is Love"
"If I Could Fall In Love"
"Is There Any Love In Your Heart?"
"Justify My Love", yes he wrote this with/for Madonna
"Let Your Love Come Down"
"Let Love Rule"
"My Precious Love"
"My Love"
"Sistamamalover"
"Your Love Has Got A Handle On My Mind"

This doesn't include tracks from his new record "It Is Time For A Love Revolution". This baby has three songs with "love" in the title consummating with the first single, the skillful and replete "Love, Love, Love".

God, sometimes these things just write themselves.






















Will someone please buy this poor man a thesaurus?!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

ANYONE WHO DARES TO DISAGREE WITH YOU NEED ONLY READ AN EXCERPT FROM ANY SONG ON ANY LENNY KRAVITZ ALBUM.
EVER.
SO CHEESEY IT'LL LEAVE YOUR FINGERTIPS ORANGE.
FOR EXAMPLE, SEE
"I BUILD THIS GARDEN FOR US"

AGAIN, THE EVER PRESENT COPIOUS USE OF THE WORD LOVE. AND, JUST TO MAKE CERTAIN HE REALLY FINISHES YOU OFF, HE ACTUALLY THROWS IN THE WORD "HORRAY!"

THIS DUDE NEEDS AN INTERVENTION.


In this garden
This LOVEly garden
I build a temple of LOVE
Walk with the Father
Won't be a bother
To touch the Earth as it was
We'll farm the land each day
And in the sunshine we will play
Glory glory for the day He came
Our tears had gone away
We'll make LOVE in the shade
And in the ocean we will bathe
Little fishies in the sea
Say hooray




EW.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FACT THAT HIS MEGA COOLNESS KEEPS HIM FROM EVER TAKING HIS SUNGLASSES OFF. LIKE, EVEN IN CONCERT, AT NIGHT.