20 February 2008

Child Chomping Escalator Of Doom: Moving Stairs With Teeth Devour Dumb Shoes And Everything In Its Wake

We've been ve·he·ment·ly anti-Croc for a while, but now we're learning little people are being eaten alive by hungry escalators thanks to these retarded rubber Dr. Fad clogs!

Escalator Hungry!! MUHAHAHAHA!

O, the high price of fashion.

A 7-year-old boy from our fair city has joined a growing number of children across the country who’ve had the horrifying experience of getting their little feet mangled by escalators while wearing those awful plastic clogs made by Crocs.

The boy’s mother has now contacted escalator-chasing lawyer Andrew Laskin, who is already suing Crocs on behalf of a We$tche$ter family who's 3-year-old daughter sustained “severe and permanent” injuries when a JFK airport escalator annihilated her Croc-clad claw.

Could someone please roll Mario Batali onto an escalator post-haste!?!?!?!!

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