25 February 2008

If You Like Fats Domino, You'll Love Chubby Checker

"If you like Giorgio, you'll love PRIMO!" Parfums de Coeur was, and still is, the company behind all those hysterically synonymous Designer Imposters tag lines from the late 80's. I wish I could remember them all.

I know there was one for Eternity and theirs was called "Forever". How brilliant! My favourite was the Drakkar one, "If you like Drakkar Noir, you'll love BLACK KNIGHT!" They've since changed it to a more hip "New York Nights". It should be called "Bridge and Tunnel New York Nights".

I once got into a rather passionate argument with a fellow band member once about how not all scents are timeless. He disagreed. He didn't see how a smell could ever go "out of style". I begged to differ.

I stumbled upon some old messageboard circa 2000 and the things people were saying about their favourite scents made me laugh. Read some of these 8 year old confessions and then try and tell me me some scents don't go out of style!

"Waitress82" 08-28-2000, 05:53 PM
I wear Oriental Sandalwood most of the time. I like really spicy smells. I also like vanilla. On my man, I prefer Old Spice or Drakkar.

Wow. Not only does Waitress 82 enjoy Drakkar, which was already quite old in 2000, she actually prefers Old Spice on a man. I wonder if she's ever smelled Stetson! She'd probably faint.

"Little Amsterdam" 08-28-2000, 04:13 PM
right now i've got cool waters and fire and ice. i also like eternity, bridges, and romance. for guys cologne my absolute favorite will always be hugo. i love that stuff! i could take a bath in it it smells so good! and drakar (sp?) smells good too. what other good ones are there?
Little Amsterdam must love a man who smells like he just worked out at Equinox during his executive lunch break and high-tailed it back to his office for a 3 o'clock meeting. The scent itself is SO fucking strong and it only reminds you of someone masking sweat. Gross.

"zebra" 08-28-2000, 04:48 PM
I smell like Johnsons Baby Powder. i rub it on my belly and under my arms. it's all i smell like. that and the wint-O-green life savers i chew incessantly. People tell me it's a great combination.
Wow. Sounds like Zebra powders himself up like a blob of pizza dough begging for a kneed. I wonder if he has someone roll him over to find the wet spot when he's done?

"maureenerrific"08-28-2000, 09:17 PM
i mostly wear Happy by Clinque or Dream or Heaven from the Gap.
"Maureenerrific" should change her name to "Manuriffic". I just came across two bottles of those Gap scents I must've bought at an outlet on tour somewhere years ago. They smell like actual urinal cakes but apparently they are highly sought after because they were discontinued some time ago. Earth to world, come in world: normally a scent is discontinued because it smells like shit! yet this hasn't stopped legions of people from hunting for Gap's Dream, Heaven, Grass, Om collection. Odd.

"RG3" 08-28-2000, 10:54 PM
Well actually Im not sure what kind of colognes I wear. I think one is a Hugo Boss imitation and the other one is called Troop or something, I dont know if thats the imitation name or name of the actual cologne. They are that my girlfriend got for me, one for christmas and one for my birthday. They were both imitation colognes that she got at the dollar store and told me to throw them away if I didnt like them, but actually I love them and am getting sad that they are running low and I probably will have to find something else to wear. Oh well, they were still wonderful presents by Melissa and just very thoughtful.
And then there are times when the jokes just write themselves.

***UPDATE: I've just stumbled upon the official PARFUMS de COEUR® website! And they've got an exhaustive listing of all their wonderful Designer Imposter taglines! Some are new and some I would have never remembered but they're all fucking great:

If you like Giorgio Red, you'll love A Little Sexy!

If you like Clinique Happy, you'll love Wanna Play?

If you like Calvin Klein's Euphoria, you’ll love our Tempt Me!

If you like Juicy Couture, you'll love Yeah Baby!

If you like Opium, you'll love Ninja. Ninja?!?! How do you get Ninja from Opium?! Did the ninjas hang out in the opium dens?

If you like Calvin Klein's Obsession, you'll love Confess. A classic.

My favourite of the men's were: Giorgio Armani's Acqua di Gio becomes Mascolino, Ralph Lauren's Polo Blue becomes Big Attitude, while his Romance cologne becomes Being Together. And the best of all... If you like Unforgivable by Sean John, you’ll love Bring It! hahahaha Bring it, bitch!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Acqua di Gio is such a great colgne for men