13 February 2008

Live Blogging - Congress Hearing On Clemens and McNamee

11:10 AM: OK, I'm watching this. It's the Congressional hearing on Clemens and McNamee

First of all I cannot believe Clemens and McNamee are basically sitting right next to each other. Clemens has cottonmouth, BAD. And McNamee looks like Andy Dick.

Clemens is fucked. Everyone is saying Clemens did roids except Clemens. He has gone above and beyond denying it and now it's just bad.

Pettitte is Clemens' boy and he even had to admit under oath that Clemens took roids and growth hormone.

It just looks like he has a guilty conscience now. This is like 6th grade in the Dean's office when you got caught taking tags in the bathroom. Dude is fucked.

11:14 AM: I like Clemens but he'll always be a 1986 Boston Red Sock. Him and Oil Can Boyd.

11:16 AM: OK now we're talking about a BBQ at José Canseco's house. McNamee just said "board shorts".

11:18 AM: All this talk about José Canseco's BBQ is making me hungry.

11:20 AM: McNamee just said he's never heard of B-12, the vitamin.

11:23 AM: Clemens is in deep shit. He should've just admitted it way back. Now he'll go to jail not for steroid use but for straight up lying "under oath"

11:29 AM: Clemens is fucked.

11:30 AM: Huminahuminahuminahuminahumina

11:32 AM: Now this congressman is holding up bootleg rap CD's from Canal Street.

11:33 AM: Here's a photo of Any Dick and Lou Ferrigno

11:35 AM: Don't get me wrong McNamee is a snake fuck for keeping Clemens' gauze and needles for 5 years. But its scary how prophetic he was.

11:36 AM: OK now this guy is grilling McNamee like a shrimp at Canseco's BBQ.

11:38 AM: I'm getting douche chills. Both of these chuckleheads are going to jail.

11:39 AM: Those photographers sitting cross legged have to be getting pins and needles by now.

11:41 AM: Old, rich white dudes know how to grill dudes. This dude is schooling McNamee right now. Bad.

11:49 AM: This dude just referred to Canseco as Canteco. I can't take it anymore-o. George Costanza. Can't stand ya.

11:52 AM: Clemens just mentioned a mysterious "Doctor O'Malley" who says he never took steroids. And how did Scott Shannon from the Z Morning Zoo get dragged into this?!

11:59 AM: Scott Shannon from the Z Morning Zoo doesn't recall Clemens' most famous buttocks.

12:02 AM: C'mon, man! McNamee is talking about men giving men injections in closets. At least make us try! You're handing to me on a silver platter.

12:04 AM: Oh Roger, just shut up with your B-12 medical reports. Oh and now Frank Purdue is questioning the Three Stooges.

12:08 AM: This guy is a hardcore old bat. Oh and its no longer the Canseco BBQ, its now "the Canseco luncheon." How exalted.

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