Maybe I'm Getting Old... (Reprise)

What the hell does "chocolate" have to do with anything?

Why are these Verizon phones called "Chocolate"?


What, red phones aren't just red anymore? Now it's "black cherry... chococlate"!??!!

And now they're not colours but FLAVOURS??!!!



Answer me this: Has the whole world gone completely insane?!

I found this on some marketing website:

The 5 Reasons for the LG Chocolate’s Success
• The Name????
• Marketing
• Design
• The Envy Factor ????
• Multimedia Phone

The Name:

"Let’s face it, from a marketing stand point; LG’s decision to name the phone Chocolate was sheer genius. The name alone evokes instant appeal, as so many relate chocolate with a nice, happy and sweet feeling. That’s exactly what the LG chocolate achieves. The name makes for something that is desired and wanted and this resulted in people desiring the phone even before it was released. "

"Let's face it"?! "Genius"?!! You can't just call a phone "chocolate"?! What the hell is this shit?

The Design:

"When the LG Chocolate mobile phone was released its design was that of a black chocolate candy bar. Its shape, color and overall look represented its name. Throw in the red touch sensitive buttons that contrasted the shiny piano black finish and you ladies and gentlemen got yourself a winner. Seeing the phone evoked the words sexy, sleek and seductive. That was a hit especially with consumers who love to feel trendy and those who oozed sophistication."

Even New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin got in on the chococlate mania!



Months after Hurricane Katrina at a MLK Day celebration at City Hall he famously said:

"We ask black people: it's time. It's time for us to come together. It's time for us to rebuild a New Orleans, the one that should be a chocolate New Orleans. And I don't care what people are saying Uptown or wherever they are. This city will be chocolate at the end of the day."

For some the speech generated an intense reaction, much of it negative. The "Chocolate City" metaphor was seized on and parodied by commentators, and cartoons depicting Nagin as Willy Wonka appeared everywhere.



Nagin's speech put the post-Hurricane Katrina recovery process of New Orleans in the context of the civil rights movement of the 1950s and 1960s. The term chocolate city refers to a positive, harmonious image of a predominantly African American city. The concept originated with radio DJ's in D.C. in the early 70's and was popularised by Parliament (pre-Funkadelic), who released the album Chocolate City in 1975.

Thing is, most people misunderstood for Mayor Nagin was not referring to all this race stuff but he was simply caught in the fevered frenzy of Verizon's chocolate media-blitz. He had chaklit on the brain that day and hey, who could blame him!? Must I go over the 5 reasons for the LG Chocolate’s Success, again?!

The only thing I found NOT annoying about this chocolate shit was that one commercial where they used Goldfrapp's "Strict Machine" while the phone emerged from liquid chaklit.

"Another commercial showed cherries being squished into a paste to make a redish phone, a chocolate dipped into a pool of white chocolate, and mint being chopped to make a green phone, also to the song Candyman. Verizon also scented select units to tie the phone into the ad campaign."

We can't cure cancer, AIDS or the common cold but we can make chocolate-scented cell phones?!