01 February 2008

More From The Dept. of Unpopular Opinion

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one out there who listens to news radio more than I watch TV but have any of you heard this spot for “There Will Be Blood?” Can you say Overactor of the fucking Year?!

There's a famous quote where D.D-L. is screaming, I mean SKAREEMING, about a motherfucking milkshake, “I. Drink. Your. Milkshake. I drink it up!” he yells volcanically with all the fire he can muster.

Are you kidding me? Milkshakes?! What the fuck are you carrying on about? And why do we think someone is amazing just because they can yell in a movie? And I thought Denzel was overacting. Geez.

But naturally the film has received significant critical praise and numerous award nominations and wins. In addition to appearing on many critics' “top ten” lists for the year, the critics' associations recognized Paul Thomas Anderson's “There Will Be Milkshakes?” with awards for Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Actor.

D.D-L. received a Golden Globe for his performance!, and it has been nominated for numerous AMPAS and BAFTA awards!, including Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor and Best Adapted Screenplay!

And now that all the critics are drinking the Kool-Aid, they're calling the milkshake line “Dickensian”! Did we call Kelis a genius when she brought all the boys to the yard?

They're comparing “I. Drink. Your. Milkshake. I drink it up!” to “Say hello to my little friend” and “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!”. WILL U ALL PLEASE JUST RELAX!

I realise some swear to special genius of the line’s coda, a burst of half-mad juvenilia that captures the demented feeling of the scene better even than the line itself, but a line with “milkshake” in it will never make it past a week or two in the tepid, flash-in-the-pan pop-culture catchphrase lexicon.

So let's lay low for now with the blogs and articles about it being “perhaps one of the greatest scenes ever recorded on film.” It's got no legs. The kid can't run. The horse is sick. It's toast.

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