04 February 2008

Thoughts On Super Bowl XLII

I hadn't been this amped for a Super Bowl since Giants / Denver in Super Bowl XXI back in 1987. Or maybe the year before Bears / Patriots at the Superdome. In fact, my sports mind is somewhat frozen in that era. '86 Mets, '86 Bears, '87 Giants and the '85 Redmen. OK, but let's talk about Super Bowl XLII. Where the "Giants of New York took on the Patriots of New England. And in the end, the Giants triumphed... It was a most ripping victory."

The Game: I think the average civilian could appreciate why some are so fanatical about sports after watching that game. It had all the earmarks of a classic; the rollercoaster ride of David vs. Goliath, ending with the triumphant underdog, torn and tattered. All we needed was some snow and mud. Which reminds me, University of Phoenix has a stadium?! I thought it was an e-University. Maybe it was a hologram.

Halftime Show:
OK, we can all officially stop making "wardrobe malfunction" and "nipple" jokes now, that was like ten years ago and is no longer funny or relevant (not unlike impromptu Borat impressions). I thought Tom Petty did a good job. He's looked like death warmed over since '76 so that's OK. But who was that dude on drums? Was that Beatmaster V from Body Count? I thought he was dead. Or was whats his face - that judge from American Idol, Randy Jackson? And who told Mike Campbell he should dread his hair? Dude's 58 years old. Awful.

For the first time in many years the game was more interesting than the commercials! MySpace's Super Bow Lads page? Wow. Most of the commercials this year seemed rather uninspired and unimaginative. Lots of animated inanimate objects and talking animals. How cheap. The runaway hit was most definitely Budweiser's Dalmatian training the Clydesdales. That one definitely tugged at the ossified heart strings. GoDaddy.com played the tired "we're-so-controversial-we-got-banned" card, directing us to their site to see the company's rejected advert (I guess Fox banned it or something. YAWN). I did like that one Dorito advert with the opera music and the guy waiting patiently for the mouse to take the Dorito bait. That was clever. But what was up with that Dorito's "Message from Your Heart" garbage? If I wanted to see some singer I've never heard of playing an acoustic guitar, I'd just shoot myself in the face. That was awful and seemed creepy and almost downright Christian. The Night at the Roxbury spoof for Pepsi Max was good but I'd already seen it last week and if you blinked you would've missed Chris Kattan's cameo. The Godfather spoof for Audi - complete with a cameo by Alex Rocco, who played Moe Greene in the movie - sucked. I got the reference immediately but I had no idea what that was supposed to be in his bed. I thought it was an old vacuum cleaner. My mum had to suggest it was the grill from his old car. I was confused and had to eat another brownie just to get my bearings. It was traumatic. I saw Hyundai finally let the lion out of the bag with their new Genesis luxury car and picked a fight with Mercedes, Lexus and BMW. Ohhhhh, dip. But a Hyundai priced like an S-class Mercedes? Nigga, please! The Super Bowl ads just aren't what they used to be. It's a new world with no risks and little imagination. Talking babies, talking animals and animating the inanimate is like Advertising 101. But hey, what do I know?

The After Party:
People in my neighbourhood were shooting guns with glee. Giants fans poured into the streets, it was amazing. I saw people moon walking on the roofs of cabs on the Upper East Side. And if I saw one more 11 o'clock news remote "Live from Moonachie" I was gonna freak.

And lastly, since when is there a place in New York City known as The Canyon of Heroes?! Sounds like a gay porn. How have I lived 30 years in New York City and never once heard that colloquialism for the ticker-tape parade route? Well, you learn something new every day around here.

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