13 February 2008

Will Someone Please Give NYC's Most Annoying Man $6M So He'll Go Away

This dude embodies everything I hate about Nu York City. Robert Burck is The Naked Cowboy. He came to NY from Cincinnati after a career in modeling failed and somehow was reborn as The Naked Cowboy (a.k.a. New York's Most Annoying Self-Acclaimed Icon).

Tragically, this dolt has become a prominent fixture of Times Square perpetuated by easily amused tourists from all over the globe. Truth be told, the dude is completely full of himself and a total asshole.

His ingenious routine consists of playing his guitar wearing only cowboy boots, a hat, and a pair of tighty whiteys, with his guitar strategically placed to give the illusion of nudity. Naturally he only plays one song and its called "I'm The Naked Cowboy".

Burck began his street performance career in 1998 after a failed modeling career and first appeared busking on Venice Beach. After some disappointing starts, a friend suggested to him that he dress only in his underwear... and go to New York.

Anyway so now our Times Square idiot wants to sue Mars Inc., maker of M&M's.

The Naked Cowboy is claiming that the company is infringing on his trademark, i.e. singing in tighty-whities, cowboy boots and a Stetson, with a six string slung over his ballbag.

He now wants $6 million after the company started broadcasting a film on a billboard screen in Times Square showing anthropomorphic M&M's re-enacting famous scenes, structures, and places around NYC. A blue peanut M&M is shown in briefs, boots, a hat,

Naturally at first he was flattered by the imitation, but eventually someone (a lawyer) got in his ear and convinced him that Mars Inc. was simply leeching off a brand that he had spent years building.

The Naked Cowboy tells The Post,

“All I’ve got is my underwear. It’s the most brilliant thing that’s ever been created from a marketing perspective. You can’t stop it.”
Will someone please just jump the curb and run this idiot over. Or award him the $6M so maybe he'll retire?

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