21 April 2008

The Voice Goes Jetsons!

Press Release from The Voice:

"The Village Voice is evolving just in time for Spring with a sleeker, more modern look and feel. The Voice has undergone several changes throughout its over 50 year history but this marks the first time the paper will be stapled and feature full color on every page"

Think Las Vegas hookers newspaper or one of those Staten Island Real Estate Gazettes. Somehow The Voice thinks this is the future. Go easy on them, they're old hippies now.

"In addition, there will be navigation tabs added down the outside of every page
to mark each section and the newspaper will get more convenient in size."
Navigation tabs? Sounds like a phone book.

"Also, by upgrading to the most modern and high-tech presses available, delivery time will be cut in half allowing papers to be on stands much sooner than ever
before. Look for the newly evolved papers this May. "

Funny I was just saying to Ursula A. how annoying it is to read the WSJ or The Times outdoors or on a subway or a bus. Its basically impossible. I suppose the publishers assume whomever reads the WSJ or The Times are much too rich to travel by public transport and so those papers are not built to be read but unfurled inside the comfort of your marbled mansion. Like "Ha ha ha look at me and my giant wingspan of highbrow news and stock quotes in the back of my chauffeured Mercedes S400."

I will miss burying my curious teenage noise in The Voice to see what bands were coming to town and who was playing this Sunday's matinee. I'd rummage through that thing like a wolf on a marshmallow. By the time I'd come up for air my entire face would be covered in newsprint.

Let's hope the WSJ and The Times soon follow suit for there is simply no way to read those fucking papers cover to cover without getting into a serious wrestling match with what becomes a black and white boa constrictor.


Anonymous said...

I remember the Bogmen playing everywhere, but I can't remember the Bogmen.

Gotham City Insider said...

Haha there were lots of bands like that, professional opening bands.

The Best Kissers In The World, Falafel Mafia, Shirley Temple of Doom, God Is My Co-Pilot, Eve's Plum.....

Anonymous said...

Rogues Gallery is all I got. You pulled out a double checkmate with STOD and Eve's Plum. There was someone else with 'wine' in their name that escapes me.