02 April 2008

When I Grow Up I Wanna Be An Operations Research Analyst

Hey look, it's an operations research analyst in his natural habitat. Shhhhhh, he's hard at work. Look at him go. He makes it look so easy, right?

I woke up today to an article on AOL detailing "Jobs that pay $30 an hour". Apparently this is a photo of an operations research analyst IN THE FLESH! It doesn't look like he's analyzing anything. It doesn't look like he's doing much of anything really. Look, his computer isn't even turned on. I guess he's letting the anticipation build so that when he does begin analyzing it will seem very dramatic. Like a mad scientist going down to his dungeon lab.

Operations research analysts are normally brought into businesses and organisations to identify, investigate and solve logistics problems through the use of statistical analysis and computer programs. The type of problems can vary depending on the nature of the business, whether it's a production factory or the military. They'll come in and say this costs too much money and this guy could do that guys job leaving a wake of destruction in their rearview. Sometimes they'll turn water into wine before they leave.

So when theres nothing for the $30/hr operations research analyst to do, you can have some fun with them. Fuck, you're paying them by the hour, right? Might as well put them to use doing something. Apparently this operations research analyst has been contracted to hold a mug of hot black coffee dangerously close to his crotch for the morning.

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