I Say the Darndest Things

I used to live on Taco Bell. We all did. A lot of bands on the road still do. We were all vegans or vegetarians and Taco Bell was simply (and often sadly) the cheapest spot with the most options.

Driving 13 hours to the next show with one headlight and four flat tires was never a big deal for us but finding vegan or vegetarian friendly food on the road most certainly was. And in times of desperation, and sometimes if we didn't have times of desperation we would've had no times at all, Taco Bell became a necessary evil of the road.

None of us would've been caught dead inside a Taco Bell when weren't on tour, but once we shoved off, it served as a last resort more often than not.

Depending on your confidence with the intelligence of the "person" behind the counter, you can create some pretty interesting meals by substituting this and that. But, it can get very confusing and frustrating when you get to your seat and realize your burrito is full of precisely everything you said to leave out.

The easiest thing to do is ask for the seven-layer burrito minus cheese and sour cream. (They actually have a minus button on their keypad, folks.) Also easy is the bean burrito sans cheese. If you’re feeling lucky and have some time to kill, go for the grilled stuft burrito minus meat, cheese and Baja sauce, but add potatoes. This makes a pretty serious burrito that will fill you up for a good 50-100 miles, at least.

Anyway, I am absolutely CRAVING a double decker taco right now. I haven't craved Taco Bell, like, ever in my life; its not unlike a prisoner craving jail food.

But I was just handed this file folder and it was a soft folder with a hard divider inside separating the documents and it made me want one of these really, really fucking bad.





















Portions of this entry were hijacked from Vegan on the Road with Most Precious Blood originally published within the pages of Satya Magazine