15 May 2008

Sue Simmons "Personal Apology" Email; Don't Say Fuck, U Fuck

So yesterday the Post ran a big front page story about Sue Simmons being a drunk who liked to have a few cocktails, or five, at Jean Georges of Columbus Circle during the downtime betwixt her 5 and 11 o'clock broadcasts, clumsily insinuating that perhaps that was why Sue cursed on-air the other day.

Well today the Post's follow-up says Sue swears she hasn't swallowed a single spirit before going on air in the last 15 years - but before that, forget it.

Ironically Sue continues to say, "I understand now why many people don't trust the media". Sue is talking about The Post to The Post in The Post. A classic.

And now it seems an email (supposedly) from Sue Simmons has been making the rounds. Looks like a mass spamming made to look personal; all lower case and shit, yo.

Either way, who cares? Are we supposed to believe New Yorkers were genuinely offended to hear the word FUCK?! Gawker points out that Sue's email contact option on the NBC website has since been removed. Are that many people actually emailing her to say they were appalled?! Come on, New York!

The below was supposedly sent to Animal New York. Hrmph.


i'm very sorry for what happened last night. i had no idea we were on live. i was playfully trying to get chuck's attention. unfortunately, i got the attention of thousands and many were not amused. i admit i have a potty mouth at times. never never did i intend for new york to receive an example of it. i can't take it back. i can apologize. i'm still very embarrassed today. i'm trying to answer each and every person thats contacted me.

i hope you will accept my apology.

thanks, sue"

Hmmm. That's odd because my email from Sue looked more like this:

"Dear Sir,

REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP PETROLEUM (SPECIAL) TRUST FUND CONTRACT AWARD REVIEW COMMITTEE Appointed by the Federal Government of Nigeria to review contract Awards/Payments Approvals in the Petroleum Trust Fund (PTF). Our duties include evaluation, vetting approvals for payment for contract executed for the PTF.

On the 10th January 1997, the awarded a contract of $600 Million United States Dollars to the consortium of Abblummus, J.G.C. Corporation, Bouygues Offshore and a joint venture of Spiebalignoles and Fougureolle, for an engineering, procurement and construction work in Nigeria.

But some top officials of the organization over-invoiced the contract sum to the tune of $636.5M with the intention of sharing the remaining $35.5M among themselves. But due to the sudden proscription of the PTF by the new democratic Government, their effort proved abortive. But now that the Federal Democratic Government of Nigeria has approved the sum of $636.5M for the concerned foreign companies as full payment for the contract executed, and since each of the companies are entitled to $150M, we intend to transfer the remaining %36.6M abroad into a safe and reliable account to be disbursed among ourselves.

My colleagues and I have agreed that if your company can act as the beneficiary of this fund ($36.5) you and your company will retain 20% of the total amount while 70% will be for us and the remaining10% will be used to offset any expenses incured by both sides during the course of the transfer.

It may interest you to know that , some years ago a similar transaction was carried our with one Mr. Patrick Miller, the President of Craine International Trading Corporation of No. 135 East 57th Street, 28th Floor, New York 10022 with Tele Number (212) 308-7788 and telex Number 6731689. After the agreement of both parties in which he was to take 20% of the money while the remaining 70% was for us, with the payment approvals secured and relevant document signed, the money was duly transferred into his account, only to be disappointed on our arrival in New York, that he had changed address, while his telephone and telex number has been reallocated. That was how we lost $27.7M to Mr. Patrick Miller. We could not report the case to the authority due to its nature as being utterly confidential. This time, we need a more reliable and trustworthy partner with a reputable company's account to transfer this money into. Hence this proposal to you.

It took us expensive ideas and money to fine-tune all the preparations for this transaction to meet all legal and administrative requirements in Nigeria and those of International Arbitration as the modalities applied in the case of Mr. Miller have changed due to the incessant changes in monetary policies of my country. However, we hope to conclude this transaction within fifteen (15) days from the date of receipt of the requested information and commence the transfer of funds. Therefore, we require from you the followings by fax:

i. Your Company name
ii. Company address
iii. Bank name and address
iv. Account number and account name (if any)
v. Your telephone and fax numbers and any other relevant information you may consider helpful.

With the above information, we will use your company name to re-award the ontract, put up the letters of claims and apply for payment.

We wish to bring to your notice that the personalities involved in this transaction are Top and influential government functionaries who will not like any form of exposure and as such would want you to keep the business highly confidential. Be rest assured that this transaction is 100% risk free on both sides.

We are looking forward to doing this business with you. Please, acknowledge the receipt of this letter using the TEL/FAX NUMBER while maintaining maximum confidentiality. I shall bring you the complete picture of this transaction on receipt of your response.

Yours faithfully

Sue Simmons"

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