Some British dudes (of course) are saying obesity contributes to global warming now. They did a study on it and everything. Dudes got paid to tell us that fat people require more fuel to transport them and the food they eat. Dudes got paid to figure this out.
"We are all becoming heavier and it is a global responsibility. Obesity is a key part of the big picture", one of the London guys said.
They found that plump people require 1,680 daily calories to sustain normal energy and another 1,280 calories to maintain daily activities. Because thinner people eat less and are more likely to walk than rely on cars, a slimmer population would lower demand for fuel for transportation and for agriculture. Great, now people are gonna shoot at me with harpoons and darts and yell shit about my carbon waistline.
The group's next step is quantifying how much a heavier population is contributing to climate change, higher fuel prices and food shortages.
Fuck. We're fucked.