05 June 2008

The Ham & Egger

I call this look the “Ham & Egger.”

For some reason guys who don't get dressed up much always reach for the “Ham & Egger” whenever a special occasion calls. A family function, a wedding, a job interview; they all call on the “Ham & Egger” in a clutch.

The “Ham & Egger” is a maroon dress shirt. Tie color is (normally) black. Pants are always black or tan chino's. No suit jacket. That is the quintessential “Ham & Egger”.

For some odd reason the dude who doesn't get dressed up for work or whatever, he'll always have one "dress up" outfit and it'll always be this.

Not a plain, nice white dress shirt but a maroon shirt. He'll go for the black tie and that old pair of black chino's that are so fucking faded they're starting to look purple.

But what is the allure of the maroon shirt? Why not just go for a white shirt? Its a clean, blank canvas. Can't go wrong with a nice, bright white shirt, right?

Perhaps the maroon shirt is saying “I'm still holding on. I'm not a cog in the machine, maaaaan!” and no, a cog in the machine you'll never be, not with that fucking outfit! Show up to a job interview in the “Ham & Egger” and I guarantee they'll give that $11/hr data entry gig to someone else.

The “Ham & Egger” reeks of desperation. It says you're either a recovering addict and this is your first step back or you still live with your mum and it's time to get a job so you threw on the only "dress" outfit you have; the shirt & tie you bought for your Aunt Mildred's 89th surprise birthday party, the same one you wore to your Uncle Vito's wake month later.

The “Ham & Egger” rips his tie off his neck the moment he gets outside at 5:01 PM. The “Ham & Egger” runs home from work and tears off his clothes like a three-year old. He just wants to play Xbox or whateverthefuck.

Classic “Ham & Eggers”

“Thanks, Brian. We have your resume and we'll be in touch.”


Anonymous said...

This is up there with the Vegetarian Banker post. Maroon shirt is chosen to accentuate pit stains.

I have a similar gripe with the "Blockbuster Video" or "Ad Salesman": the light blue button down, Khaki pant ensemble that losers from coast to coast favor.

Gotham City Insider said...

Total Kinko's style, too. Or the OxiClean guy! I'm obsessed with that dudes beard.

I also wanted to one about the comedian's uniform from the 80's. It was distinctive and official. No one dared stray very far from the basics: the sport coat with the suede elbow patches, a plain black T, a pair of blue jeans and white running sneakers.

Seinfeld really drove it home but almost every other comic of that era took that look for a walk. From Paul Reiser to Joe Bolster.

Eddie Murphy even rocked it, making it his own by rolling up the sleeves on the sport coat !!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Ha, awesome. The ladies got in on the act in the 80's when they were telling lazy husband and PMS jokes too. They rocked the blazer with more shoulder padding than Harry Carson, rolled them sleeves up, got their hair did at a dog grooming, makeup applied with a paint roller and kept it classy with sensible pumps.

Gotham City Insider said...

Ew, like Elayne Boosler and Paula Poundstone.

The comediennes had a little rally there for a minute.

I know they've since shipped Rita Rudner out to Vegas.

The early days of Comedy Central were awesome when all they played were those little stand-up clips like MTV played videos. It was called "The Comedy Channel" then. I did a blog about it once. I miss them daze.

The Comedy Channel

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA! I can't believe you used my Aunt Mildred's surprise party as the example. I'm honored.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and I can't BELIEVE that neither of you mentioned the black or latino street sales people who roll their hand trucks up and down the neighborhood. They're usually selling knock-off perfume or puzzles. And they're ALWAYS, without fail, wearing THIS outfit.
I've always thought of it as the "ghetto workday"

Gotham City Insider said...

hahaha I love "the ghetto workday".