06 August 2008

The "Ham & Egger"

I call this look the “Ham & Egger.”

For some reason guys who don't get dressed up much always reach for the “Ham & Egger” whenever a special occasion calls. A family function, a wedding, a job interview; they all call on the “Ham & Egger” in a clutch.

The “Ham & Egger” is a maroon dress shirt. Tie color is (normally) black. Pants are always black or tan chino's. No suit jacket. That is the quintessential “Ham & Egger”.

For some odd reason the dude who doesn't get dressed up for work or whatever, he'll always have one "dress up" outfit and it'll always be this.

Not a plain, nice white dress shirt but a maroon shirt. He'll go for the black tie and that old pair of black chino's that are so fucking faded they're starting to look purple.

But what is the allure of the maroon shirt? Why not just go for a white shirt? Its a clean, blank canvas. Can't go wrong with a nice, bright white shirt, right?

Perhaps the maroon shirt is saying “I'm still holding on. I'm not a cog in the machine, maaaaan!” and no, a cog in the machine you'll never be, not with that fucking outfit! Show up to a job interview in the “Ham & Egger” and I guarantee they'll give that $11/hr data entry gig to someone else.

The “Ham & Egger” reeks of desperation. It says you're either a recovering addict and this is your first step back or you still live with your mum and it's time to get a job so you threw on the only "dress" outfit you have; the shirt & tie you bought for your Aunt Mildred's 89th surprise birthday party, the same one you wore to your Uncle Vito's wake month later.

The “Ham & Egger” rips his tie off his neck the moment he gets outside at 5:01 PM. The “Ham & Egger” runs home from work and tears off his clothes like a three-year old. He just wants to play Xbox or whateverthefuck.

Classic “Ham & Eggers”

“Thanks, Brian. We have your resume and we'll be in touch.”

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