The World Needs A Stronger Blog...

All I wanted to do was get home by 9 last night. Did it happen? Of course not. Had my tutor until 6 and I was in the office until 8:30. Then, I couldn't catch a cab to save my life. I saw homeless guys covered in piss and beer balancing trashed bookshelves covered in rusty nails on their heads catching cabs but not me. I finally, and reluctantly as most do, hailed a Lincoln. By then it was a few minutes after 9. All I wanted was my baby, my TV, my dog, and my cheese and pickles. Told the Lincoln to put on 1010 WINS. Reception was awful. It was like listening to Deutsche Welle from Venus on a transistor radio covered in tin foil and then wrapped in a rug and stuffed in the trunk of an old Buick. He turned it down at one point to talk on his Douchetooth to his boys back in Bahariya and I freaked out. Dude had no idea where he was going. When we finally arrived he said his company normally charges $70 for a ride like this. I told him I pay $40. Always have, always will. Lincoln to Bay Ridge from Midtown, I pay $40. I gave him $45 because I knew he was gonna spend at least an hour trying to find his way back and I felt bad. Such a Libra, I. Anyway, the debate didn't live up to its hype. Palin had obviously studied up and she was OK. I still think Tina Fey does a better Palin than Palin does. Overall it was boring and sans fireworks of any kind. Biden came off as the wise, old, white-haired Senator and Palin came off as the yeehaw Fargo governor of Alaska. Yawn. Gwen Ifill's outfit was hideous. That jacket was obviously from the sale rack at Chico's. It was atrocious. Overall, I gave the whole thing a big, fat yawn. So there.

Brilliant...
See: Diagramming SarahCan Palin's sentences stand up to a grammarian? {who but Slate?}