who knew one of the most perfect stories about "show business" and "art as profession" would come from this guy. i defy you to put "it" any better than this:
31 March 2008
Woody's Pissed
Woody Allen Files Lawsuit Over American Apparel Billboards
Woody filed a lawsuit Monday seeking more than $10 million from American Apparel over unauthorised billboard and online adverts featuring Allen dressed as a rabbi from Annie Hall.
The lawsuit alleges the Los Angeles blank t-shirt mafia put up billboards in New York and Hollywood without Woody's permission. The images also were displayed in advertising on American Apparel's website and in sponsored advertisements on other websites.
The lawsuit states Woody Allen was unaware that the co. was going to utilise his image in any adverts. Allen was not contacted, nor did he in any way give his consent to the use of his image and likeness, and he was not in any way compensated for the same, either prior to the infringement or thereafter.
The complaint said the unlawful use of Allen's image for commercial advertising was "especially egregious and damaging because Allen does not commercially endorse any products in the United States of America."
Woody filed a lawsuit Monday seeking more than $10 million from American Apparel over unauthorised billboard and online adverts featuring Allen dressed as a rabbi from Annie Hall.
The lawsuit alleges the Los Angeles blank t-shirt mafia put up billboards in New York and Hollywood without Woody's permission. The images also were displayed in advertising on American Apparel's website and in sponsored advertisements on other websites.
The lawsuit states Woody Allen was unaware that the co. was going to utilise his image in any adverts. Allen was not contacted, nor did he in any way give his consent to the use of his image and likeness, and he was not in any way compensated for the same, either prior to the infringement or thereafter.
The complaint said the unlawful use of Allen's image for commercial advertising was "especially egregious and damaging because Allen does not commercially endorse any products in the United States of America."
Nothing says "buy more ironic tube socks" like Woody dressed as a rabbi.
Read all articles on American Apparel Read More
An Idiot’s Guide to Financial Crises
When a persons livelihood is on the line - that person being me, that livelihood being the names of the firms you've been reading in the paper for the past few weeks - you tend to become an expert on all this shit fast. I came across this article in New York and thought it was cool.
An Idiot’s Guide to Financial Crises
By Adam Sternbergh
I don’t know anything about money. I don’t mean that I’m not a financial expert. I mean that, when it comes to money, I’m functionally illiterate. I don’t like to think about finances, and on the rare occasions that I do, my thought process goes like this: I have a job. I earn money. I spend most of it. The rest I put in a savings account. That’s it. People who know about money are always yelling at me, because they can’t believe I’m still throwing away money by renting (mortgages are confusing) or not diversifying my portfolio (what portfolio?). And I freely acknowledge that people who think a lot about money will invariably accumulate more of it than I will. And I’m okay with that, since the trade-off is, I don’t have to spend my time thinking about money.
But even I understand that, when people who think a lot about money get worried, I should get worried, too. Which is how I found myself anxiously scanning through articles that consisted of 90 percent gobbledygook (credit-default swaps?) and 10 percent startling quotes such as, “The situation is very bad, the situation is getting worse, and the risks are that it could get very bad” (National Bureau of Economic Research president Martin Feldstein) and “The current financial crisis in the U.S. is likely to be judged in retrospect as the most wrenching since the end of the Second World War” (Alan Greenspan—that guy’s smart, right?). Because for me, finding out that an 85-year-old investment bank nearly failed is like waking up to the headline fire department burns to the ground. And then turning on the TV to find the fire chief saying, “Yeah, this is a pretty bad fire. It could well be out of control. And no one really knows how many more houses will burn down.” Really, Fire Chief? Aren’t you supposed to be keeping tabs on that kind of thing? And is this the point at which I should start getting worried that my tiny little house is going to burn down, too?
So I did what I normally do when I don’t know anything about something, which is to call up some people who do. Of course, when it comes to the economy, there are many, many people who claim to know a lot about it, yet they don’t agree with each other at all. Except for right now. Because while people disagree on who started the fire, or how long it will burn, everyone seems to be on the same page about one thing: The house is definitely on fire.
“Here’s the simple version,” says Tyler Cowen, professor of economics at George Mason University and author of Discover Your Inner Economist. “The real-estate bubble collapsed. There needs to be a big sectoral shift into other things. The Fed can’t help that much. So we’re in a recession. And all the meanings of that—lower retail sales, higher unemployment, and so on—odds are we’ll get those. That’s the bad news for the person on the street.” And, if your street happens to be in New York, the news is even worse for you. That’s because all those people in the financial sector who are now losing their jobs live here, and spend a lot of money here, and pay taxes here. This means less money in the system, which means everyone feels the pain.
Thus far, much of the talk about this “crisis” has centered on failed mortgages and falling housing prices, which I don’t care about, since I don’t own a house, especially not one built ten minutes ago in Arizona. But this crisis isn’t about houses anymore. “Say you bought a house two years ago for $450,000,” says Barry Ritholtz, CEO and director of Equity Research at Fusion IQ. “And it’s worth $425,000 this year, and $430,000 next year—ultimately, who cares? It’s not going to zero. Your house isn’t the problem. The way this will really impact people is the prices you pay for goods. And we’re starting to see it affect employment as well. You know, the traditional economic worries: Stuff costs more money and you may get fired.”
So let me get this straight. I might lose my job. And right when I lose my job, I’m going to find that my savings are worth less, and that prices for things are going up. Like gas. And milk. “The reason this has become such a mess,” says Ritholtz, “is because the housing market imploded, and now the credit crunch is affecting the ability of businesses and individuals to borrow money, which has caused the Fed to do what they do best: lower interest rates, print money, and try to inject cash into the system. But there’s a cost to that. The cost is inflation.”
But even I understand that, when people who think a lot about money get worried, I should get worried, too. Which is how I found myself anxiously scanning through articles that consisted of 90 percent gobbledygook (credit-default swaps?) and 10 percent startling quotes such as, “The situation is very bad, the situation is getting worse, and the risks are that it could get very bad” (National Bureau of Economic Research president Martin Feldstein) and “The current financial crisis in the U.S. is likely to be judged in retrospect as the most wrenching since the end of the Second World War” (Alan Greenspan—that guy’s smart, right?). Because for me, finding out that an 85-year-old investment bank nearly failed is like waking up to the headline fire department burns to the ground. And then turning on the TV to find the fire chief saying, “Yeah, this is a pretty bad fire. It could well be out of control. And no one really knows how many more houses will burn down.” Really, Fire Chief? Aren’t you supposed to be keeping tabs on that kind of thing? And is this the point at which I should start getting worried that my tiny little house is going to burn down, too?
So I did what I normally do when I don’t know anything about something, which is to call up some people who do. Of course, when it comes to the economy, there are many, many people who claim to know a lot about it, yet they don’t agree with each other at all. Except for right now. Because while people disagree on who started the fire, or how long it will burn, everyone seems to be on the same page about one thing: The house is definitely on fire.
“Here’s the simple version,” says Tyler Cowen, professor of economics at George Mason University and author of Discover Your Inner Economist. “The real-estate bubble collapsed. There needs to be a big sectoral shift into other things. The Fed can’t help that much. So we’re in a recession. And all the meanings of that—lower retail sales, higher unemployment, and so on—odds are we’ll get those. That’s the bad news for the person on the street.” And, if your street happens to be in New York, the news is even worse for you. That’s because all those people in the financial sector who are now losing their jobs live here, and spend a lot of money here, and pay taxes here. This means less money in the system, which means everyone feels the pain.
Thus far, much of the talk about this “crisis” has centered on failed mortgages and falling housing prices, which I don’t care about, since I don’t own a house, especially not one built ten minutes ago in Arizona. But this crisis isn’t about houses anymore. “Say you bought a house two years ago for $450,000,” says Barry Ritholtz, CEO and director of Equity Research at Fusion IQ. “And it’s worth $425,000 this year, and $430,000 next year—ultimately, who cares? It’s not going to zero. Your house isn’t the problem. The way this will really impact people is the prices you pay for goods. And we’re starting to see it affect employment as well. You know, the traditional economic worries: Stuff costs more money and you may get fired.”
So let me get this straight. I might lose my job. And right when I lose my job, I’m going to find that my savings are worth less, and that prices for things are going up. Like gas. And milk. “The reason this has become such a mess,” says Ritholtz, “is because the housing market imploded, and now the credit crunch is affecting the ability of businesses and individuals to borrow money, which has caused the Fed to do what they do best: lower interest rates, print money, and try to inject cash into the system. But there’s a cost to that. The cost is inflation.”
Very necessary:
1. “Angry Bear”
2. “The Heist”
3. “The Bear Stearns Bull” by Jim Cramer
4. Hundreds of people are protesting in my lobby right now
Blow thy Seven Trumpets for the Return of the Antichrist
The former co-star of the syndicated "Live with Regis" talk show will join NBC's "Today" next Monday. The announcement was made during todays broadcast.
Kathie Lee will be teamed up with Bubba Hotep, the current anchor of the program's seven-month-old fourth hour, which starts live at 10 a.m.
Gifford, 54, who left Regis Philbin and "Live" in 2000, joked that the timing of her TV return "couldn't be worse" in certain ways: "I'm eight years older, 10 pounds heavier, a half-inch shorter, and just in time for HD television." And broke as a joke.
Long married to former NFL star and sports announcer Frank Gifford, she joked, "It's going to be good to be working. I'm really tired of staying home and watching Frank's old highlight films."
In 1997, The Globe hired TWA flight attendant Suzen Johnson to seduce Frank in a hotel room equipped with cameras installed by The Globe. ESPN later reported that Johnson was paid $75,000.
Johnson was successful and The Globe published photographs showing Frank Gifford with Johnson. The New York District Attorney considered filing criminal charges against The Globe for, among other things, prostitution, but the Giffords asked that they drop the case.
In the November following the Gifford scandal, Johnson appeared on the cover of Playboy.
As a flight attendant for TWA, Johnson was scheduled to work on TWA Flight 800 which crashed in 1996, but she swapped shifts the day before. Wow.
Madonna Says New York Is Dead
From the new Vanity Fair:
“New York is not the exciting place it used to be. It still has great energy; I still put my finger in the socket. But it doesn't feel alive, cracking with that synergy between the art world and music world and fashion world that was happening in the 80s. A lot of people died.”
Yes, I would imagine New York would be a bit boorish for a tried and true Brit like M. Louise Ciccone.
Nigga please!
Doppelgänger
The word "doppelgänger" is a German loanword. It derives from Doppel (double) and Gänger (walker). The literal translation of the German word is "doublewalker", meaning someone who is acting the same way as another person.
The word is also used to describe the sensation of having glimpsed oneself in peripheral vision, in a position where there is no chance that it could have been a reflection. They are generally regarded as harbingers of bad luck.
In some traditions, a doppelgänger seen by a person's friends or relatives portends illness or danger, while seeing one's own doppelgänger is an omen of death. In Norse mythology, a vardøger is a ghostly double who precedes a living person and is seen performing their actions in advance.
In English, the word is conventionally uncapitalized (doppelgänger). It is also common to drop the diacritic umlaut, writing "doppelganger". The correct alternative German spelling would be "Doppelgaenger".
On 8 July 1822, Percy Bysshe Shelley, an English poet, drowned in the Bay of Spezia near Lerici.
On 15 August, while staying at Pisa, Mary Shelley wrote a letter to Maria Gisborne in which she relayed Percy's claims to her that he had met his own doppelgänger. A week after Mary's nearly fatal miscarriage, in the early hours of 23 June, Percy had had a nightmare about the house collapsing in a flood, and... talking it over the next morning he told me that he had had many visions lately — he had seen the figure of himself which met him as he walked on the terrace & said to him — "How long do you mean to be content?" — No very terrific words & certainly not prophetic of what has occurred. But Shelley had often seen these figures when ill; but the strangest thing is that Mrs Williams saw him. Now Jane though a woman of sensibility, has not much imagination & is not in the slightest degree nervous — neither in dreams or otherwise. She was standing one day, the day before I was taken ill, at a window that looked on the Terrace with Trelawny — it was day — she saw as she thought Shelley pass by the window, as he often was then, without a coat or jacket — he passed again — now as he passed both times the same way — and as from the side towards which he went each time there was no way to get back except past the window again (except over a wall twenty feet from the ground) she was struck at seeing him pass twice thus & looked out & seeing him no more she cried — "Good God can Shelley have leapt from the wall? Where can he be gone?" Shelley, said Trelawny — "No Shelley has past — What do you mean?" Trelawny says that she trembled exceedingly when she heard this & it proved indeed that Shelley had never been on the terrace & was far off at the time she saw him.
Percy Shelley's drama Prometheus Unbound (1820) contains the following passage in Act I: "Ere Babylon was dust, / The Magus Zoroaster, my dear child, / Met his own image walking in the garden. / That apparition, sole of men, he saw. / For know there are two worlds of life and death: / One that which thou beholdest; but the other / Is underneath the grave, where do inhabit / The shadows of all forms that think and live / Till death unite them and they part no more...."
"For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command or faith a dictum. I am my own God. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that death will tremble to take us. " - Charles Bukowski
Read MoreIt all happened on the Queens bound D. She was searching for a minimally invasive emotional relationship and he had Jerry Orbach's eyes. Literally. Jerry was an eye donor when he died and as a result saved two people from blindness. This guy was one of them. The other, well the other doesn't matter to this story. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start from the very, very beginning.
I guess it all started in Maui. Used to spend the weekends there. Right off La Perouse Bay. And I really got into it. I even had a giant mural of Queen Liliuokalani hanging over my California King. I'd had a late night with some friends and my head was throbbing like a digital clock yet to be set blinks 12:00. I was up until the sun rose talking over macadamia nuts, papaya and a whole case of Taittinger rose champagne and now I had the headache to match. Now my better half was up making coffee and I was trying to make out what record she was blasting in the living room. I was on the second floor and it was muffled but it sounded like Motown and the coffee smelled like home, like Brooklyn. Temptations maybe? I could only really make out the bass and the drums from upstairs. Martha and the Vandellas perhaps? I knew it was something classic. Something iconic. I heard that famous Holland-Dozier-Holland rhythm. Gladys Knight? The Marvelettes?! A-ha! It was The Supremes, "My World Is Empty Without You"! Of course! We both loved this tune. I'd even gone fishing once with a few of the remaining The Funk Brothers up in Woodstock. I knew if baby was playing this song it meant I had to get out of bed and go downstairs to be with her. She had gone to sleep long before I did the night before. I stayed up late smoking R & J Hill's with the locals. She probably wanted to know what had happened to the case of Taittinger.
Back home I'd instructed our cleaning lady, Vienna, to line the birdcages with whatever newspapers came over the weekend; Financial Times, The Journal, The Times, The Observer, whatever. I liked the idea of our two budgies shitting on the Financial Times while we were in Maui. It just felt right. Vienna was good. She had the keys to everything and her own debit card linked to my account in case of emergencies. We trusted Vienna with our world. So when the phone rang in Maui I knew it was bad. "Honey", she said in that sugary voice, "Vienna is on the phone. She sounds confused". I didn't even know we had a phone in the Maui house. I'd never heard it ring. We had two red Dobermann's as doorbells and that’s all we really needed.
"Hello, Vienna. What's up?", I didn't give her the Hollywood "this had better be good", because I knew it was. Vienna would never call otherwise.
And that's when it all came crashing.
30 March 2008
My mother loved it so she said
sad eyed pearl and drop lips
glancing pierce through writer man
spoke hushed and frailing hips
her old eyes skim in creasing lids
a tear falls as she describes
approaching death with a yearning heart
with pride and no despise
Hot tears flow as she recounts
her favourite worded token
forgive me please for hurting so
don't go away heartbroken no
don't go away heartbroken no
Just wise owl tones no velvet lies
crush her velvet call
oh Marlene suffer all the fools
who write you on the wall
and hold your tongue about your life
or dead hands will change the plot
will make your loving sound like snakes
like you were never hot
Hot tears flow as she recounts
her favourite worded token
forgive me please for hurting so
don't go away heartbroken no
don't go away heartbroken no
My mother loved it so she said
sad eyed pearl and drop lips yeah
glancing pierce through writer man
spoke hushed and frailing lips yeah
old eyes skim in creasing lids
a tear falls as she describes
approaching death with a yearning heart
with pride and no despise
Hot tears flow as she recounts
her favourite worded token
forgive me please for hurting so
don't go away heartbroken no
Read More
sad eyed pearl and drop lips
glancing pierce through writer man
spoke hushed and frailing hips
her old eyes skim in creasing lids
a tear falls as she describes
approaching death with a yearning heart
with pride and no despise
Hot tears flow as she recounts
her favourite worded token
forgive me please for hurting so
don't go away heartbroken no
don't go away heartbroken no
Just wise owl tones no velvet lies
crush her velvet call
oh Marlene suffer all the fools
who write you on the wall
and hold your tongue about your life
or dead hands will change the plot
will make your loving sound like snakes
like you were never hot
Hot tears flow as she recounts
her favourite worded token
forgive me please for hurting so
don't go away heartbroken no
don't go away heartbroken no
My mother loved it so she said
sad eyed pearl and drop lips yeah
glancing pierce through writer man
spoke hushed and frailing lips yeah
old eyes skim in creasing lids
a tear falls as she describes
approaching death with a yearning heart
with pride and no despise
Hot tears flow as she recounts
her favourite worded token
forgive me please for hurting so
don't go away heartbroken no
28 March 2008
Her name was Swearingen...
I met her in a wine bar in Budapest. Truth be told I was looking for a talented Spanish or Argentinean wine to bring back to the Corinthia Grand. Funny place to look though, Hungary. I had the Danube to my left. That was my only landmark. My hotel was on the Buda side, knew that much. I met Swearingen on Pest side. But we'll get to that later on. But I suppose before we move on I should mention Andrassy Boulevard, whats left of it anyway. Unfortunately the nazi's destroyed most of Budapest. The Hungarians love a good floodlight. Budapest after dark is breathtaking. Or maybe it was Swearingen's hips. Either way, something was stealing my breath and I searched for a place to rest my head until I got it sorted. It'd be a little while until Swearingen found her way from the Matyas
I'm sitting in this disgustingly adorable little tapas cafe on Andrassy, rolling my eyes because the couple sitting next to me are passionately discussing altars and pulpits made by Bosnian Franciscan monks in the 17th century. I'm nursing my second American coffee waiting for Swearingen to saunter through that door like a length of billowing silk. She'll walk in the door and her spirit will trail behind her. She'll be right in front of me, seated, holding my hands to warm hers all the while her sugary aura is still flowing through the door and rushing up to meet her body like a startled remora. I'd have my head down and I'd listen every time the door would open but I never looked up. I never had to. I only looked up once because that time I knew it was her. It was as if I could feel her soul entering my atmosphere. Just me and Swearingen at this disgustingly adorable little tapas cafe on Andrassy.
We shared her last Djarum Black, and with the Danube to our left we pulled up our wool collars and walked blindly into the Hungarian night. I had a bottle of Argentinean red under my right arm with my right hand in my pocket I was fiddling with some coins. They felt like American coins. I was trying to trace the faces on the coin with my index finger. I thought I felt Thomas Jefferson's ponytail but I wasn't sure. I flipped it over and tried to see if I could make out his Virginian estate, Monticello. This took serious concentration.
Swearingen lead the way. She was spirited and happy. We hadn't seen each other in quite some time and for once I knew where the night was going and it felt good. All I wanted to do was lay down with the billowing blinds, open up a bottle of Leonard Cohen and put on my Argentinean Malbec 45's.
I just got out of a very dismal meeting at Company B. Seems a lot of people are about to get screwed, on both sides.
The short end of it is Company A and B are, for all intents and purposes, combining. Most people will surely fall overboard. For the others there is hope but its tainted and complicated.
Company A has been running just fine with their current headcount. Therefore anyone who lands a gig at Company A will be shoving someone else out. Company A doesn't need any new staff. They'd like to take the best from both sides and call it a day. I believe Black Flag called it 'The Process of Weeding Out' but they may've been referring to something else.
Company A also thinks everyone here at company B is overpaid. Therefore we should expect "comparable" but not "matched" offers from Company A. That was enlightening and depressing all in one breath.
OK, so here are the rules:
If we turn down said offer from Company A we get nothing; no pro rata bonus, no severance, no parting gifts, no membership to the steak sauce of the month club, etc. We forfeit it all if we turn down their offer.
If we are let go we get the lion's share: bonuses galore, severance, unused vacation days paid and if necessary we'd be immediately eligible for unemployment.
And so here is the dilemma:
With the job market completely flooded right now I'd obviously rather not lose my job however I might stand to make more money in the short term off my severance and goodbye pay than I would from the new job's potential salary.
And so do I go in there and sell myself and "knock 'em dead" just to land the inevitably shitty offer? Do I go in there and sell myself for a gig I know I'm overqualified for but in their eyes overpaid for?
Or do I go in there with a giant ketchup stain on my shirt, send text messages during the interview and act like I couldn't give a fuck hoping they'll turn me down (and thus letting me go) so I can get all my parting gifts, bonuses and steak sauce?
Then again Peter went in there like he didn't give a fuck and he got promoted...
Meanwhile, back at the ranch:
10 resumes a day, no takers: A mortgage underwriter saw the writing on the wall and started looking for a new job in November. Now out of work, he's trying to get his foot back in the door of a financial firm. {CNN MONEY}
Separation of Church and Steak
"Smith & Wollensky is embarking on a new national campaign to promote the restaurant's nine high end steak houses. Scored by the glorious 'Credo' of Johan Sebastian Bach's Mass in B Minor, this nearly wordless 30 second commercial presents rapid fire images of the complete Wollensky experience -- the waiters, the food, the customers, the works. It's wrapped up by a concluding line, "If steak were a religion, this would be its cathedral."
This is my new favourite commercial. It is so fucking retarded that it's actually amazing. But when I first saw it I didn't realise just how brilliant it was, I just knew something had caught my attention and drawn me to it; something about it was intriguing, if not downright hypnotic!
It's meat, its sanguine, its read, its fire and flame, its devil-may-care greed and decadence and just... its... its... its HELL!
Its basically a subconscious-laden commercial about hell and living it up in hell and not giving a fuck about anything. Pay close attention to the colours - if you don't your subconscious will - it's crimson, deep mahogany browns, golds, crisp whites, dark hunter greens along with cackling faces, the supposition of disposable wealth and absolute power... It's lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride all within 30 immaculate seconds. I would not be the least bit surprised if Scorsese had ghost-produced this commercial.
This commercial should seriously be studied in advertising schools and psychology classes. Theres a lot of subliminal shit in here, too. An oil painting of a patriotic cherub flashes at one point... is that Israfil? the angel responsible for signalling the coming of Judgment Day by blowing a horn and sending out a Blast of Truth?
From the choral music to the idiots dining there to the admittedly brilliant "If Steak Were A Religion, This Would Be Its Cathedral" tagline...
But my most favourite part is the cherry on top, the waiter at the end, the demonic grim reaper, the devil himself: "Nice t'see y'again". Like welcome back to hell, we know who you are, you're a well-known member around here and we've been awaiting your arrival. Sound the trumpets.
God, I could watch this all day. It's that good. A brilliant commercial.
And that's a lot coming from a vegetarian.
It's on the homepage here, check it out. It's seriously addictive. I'd love to know who directed it and what the proposal and concept was behind it. I guarantee it had something to do with the seven deadly sins.
But my most favourite part is the cherry on top, the waiter at the end, the demonic grim reaper, the devil himself: "Nice t'see y'again". Like welcome back to hell, we know who you are, you're a well-known member around here and we've been awaiting your arrival. Sound the trumpets.
God, I could watch this all day. It's that good. A brilliant commercial.
And that's a lot coming from a vegetarian.
It's on the homepage here, check it out. It's seriously addictive. I'd love to know who directed it and what the proposal and concept was behind it. I guarantee it had something to do with the seven deadly sins.
Read More
Greatest. Term. Ever.
Blue·tool: A person who wears a Bluetooth wireless earpiece everywhere they go to seem important.
Places to spot Bluetools include movie theaters, malls, restaurants, gyms, grocery stores and cars.
"Fearful Staff Sell Off Their Bear Stearns Mementos"
I love/hate the way the press is spinning this. They're having an actual field day with the concept of 6 figure salary iBankers auctioning shit off on eBay.
Yes, I can appreciate the large print irony there but employees aren't auctioning this shit off because they're broke. They're auctioning it off because there's a market for it right now. Supply & demand, thats business school 101, is it not? I know this and I didn't even go to business school. I just watched a lot of television.
A bunch of homers in Madison, Wisconsin watchin MSNBC dreaming about them big ol buildins in the big city will pay $300 for some otherwise worthless and disposable promotional crap emblazoned with the logo of a big firm in the news right now and therefore people who have it are selling it.
Does the press truly think an iBanker is trying to recoup some of his or her losses by selling golf umbrellas on eBay for $48 a pop? C'mon now ladies and gentlemen of the press let's start coming up with some better ideas here. You're getting soft; resting on your laurels. Let's write some real articles, Ok? Ready? Go!
The Party's Over
Bear Stearns' Chairman sells over $60M in stock, dumps his entire stake in the investment bank (5.6 million shares) a day after JPMorgan quintuples its bid.
Read More27 March 2008
FDA Probes Merck Drug, Possible Suicides
The Food and Drug Administration said Thursday it is investigating a possible link between Merck's best-selling Singulair and suicide. FDA said it is reviewing a handful of reports involving mood changes, suicidal behavior and suicide in patients who have taken the popular allergy and asthma drug.
MSG Backs Out of Plan to Move into Renovated Penn Station
Madison Square Garden has derailed the ambitious, $14 billion plan to renovate Penn Station and redevelop the drab neighborhood around it by backing out of negotiations to move the sports arena one block away to a landmark post office. MSG said it would move forward with plans announced years ago to renovate its existing arena, which sits over the nation's busiest train station and is home to the New York Rangers and the New York Knicks.
World's Oldest Voice Recording Uncovered, 17 Years Before Thomas Edison's "First"
The haunted warble of a French folk song nearly 148 years ago is the oldest recording of the human voice.
And it was made a whole 17 years before Thomas Edison made his historic message, "Mary Had a Little Lamb" on a phonograph, which is the landmark event in the history of recorded sound.
The 10-second recording was made by a Parisian inventor, Edouard-Leon Scott de Martinville on April 9 1860, when Emperor Napoleon III, the last monarch of France, was on the throne.
Scott de Martinville's gadget, a "phonautograph", was a device that scratched sound waves onto a sheet of paper blackened by the smoke from an oil lamp. Edison's breakthrough, in 1877, was based on tinfoil wrapped around a cylinder. The foil was indented by a stylus which moved in response to vibrations from a mouthpiece.
Unlike Edison, whose great achievement was to not only record but also play back the recording, Scott de Martinville was never able to hear what was traced on the smoked paper.
It took 21st-century technology and the diligence of a team of US audio historians, recording engineers and scientists, using digital imaging to track the tiny groove in the paper, to make his dream come true.
The initiative was supported by First Sounds, a collaborative US project aimed at resurrecting long-lost early recordings.
The recording, comprising a snippet of the song "Au clair de la lune," can be heard here via mp3.
The past ten days will be remembered as the time the American government threw out a half century of rules to save capitalism from collapsing, but don't worry about all that now, we'll get to that later on.
Let's start with the very basics. The main characters. OK, so it was me, Fidich, Slovak and a cat we called Gozirra. Gozirra was a grandmaster; a world-class chess champion but he was dumb as a stone when it came to real life functions. His girlfriend was Nona.
Nona had his Velvet Underground opium den Nico thing going on. That was her vibe. Had a cat named Clair De Lune. That was her fantasy. I didn't like cats because I was allergic. Anyway, Nona's parents were rich from some pharmaceutical biotech stuff in Switzerland that she never wanted to talk about. I doubt it was anything all that bad but nevertheless it was a very sore subject. Then again who the fuck would wanna talk about generic trans dermal drug delivery technologies in a well-appointed loft overlooking West Broadway? Slovak, thats who.
OK, so now it was me, Fidich, Slovak, Gozirra and his girl Nona. So Slovak starts carrying on about some article he read, or I should say found, lining the floor of a toilet stall in Charles de Gaulle in Paris. He said the article mentioned Nona's parents and their company. Nona starts freaking out. She was boiling tea at the time and it had just about come to boil and was starting to whistle. The more Slovak carried on and on about this article the more Nona started to shake. And the build up of the kettle on the stove and Slovak's voice raising and Nona yelling "No! No! No!" was making the entire loft tremble. Nona started turning up the range so that the kettle whistled even louder. It was all happening really fast now. Building to a crescendo. But it kept going and going the whistle got louder and louder and higher and higher and the steam was billowing out, hot water was clamping the blue flame in that famous orange stove sizzle. It smelled like wine and steam and smoke. Nona was crying, trembling. Gozirra just paced in the living room. Slovak was screaming now "I know all about it, Nona. I know about Angers and, Avignon! I know about Bordeaux and Dijon, Grenoble, Le Mans, Lille, Lyon and Marseille. I know what happened in Montpellier. I read about the explosion in Nantes and the little girl in Nîmes. I know all about it. Poitiers, Rennes, Strasbourg, Toulouse, Tours, Valence, its all right here, Nona..."
Then my alarm clock rang and it was time for work.
You know it's bad when co-workers start listing their convertible Corvettes for sale on the internal classifieds...
Read MoreProtesters Enter Bear Stearns Lobby, Demand Meeting With Dimon, But He's Across The Street
Everything Thats Wrong With America In One Photo
Girl who is famous for having a big ass goes shopping for light bulbs at Rite Aid and the paparazzi follows.
Goodhearted dominatrix Mistress Victoria X doesn't have a soft spot towards the newly unrich men of Bear Stearns; it's more mercenary compassion. For a limited time, she's offering a per-hour discount equivalent to JPMorgan Chase's current offer for their stock: $10.
Read More26 March 2008
At Which Point Do We Begin To Consider Socialism?
Housing advocates protest Bear Stearns bailout
Demonstrators say government needs to do more to help homeowners
NEW YORK - Some 200 homeowners have protested the government’s bailout of Wall Street but not Main Street.
The demonstrators, wearing yellow T-shirts with the Neighborhood Assistance Corporation of America logo, took their protest to the lobby of the struggling Bear Sterns investment bank on Wednesday.
The group’s statement said the government “continues to blame homeowners facing hard financial difficulties in making payments on mortgages that were structured to fail, while using billions of taxpayer dollars
In a government-led bailout, JPMorgan Chase this month offered to buy the struggling investment bank for a small fraction of what it was valued at a few weeks ago.
A spokesman for Bear Sterns was not immediately available for comment.
© 2008 The Associated Press.
Several hundred people are protesting in the lobby right now
To: xxxxx
From: Global Security
Re: Protest at 383 Madison Ave.
Please be advised the Neighborhood Assistance Corporation of America (NACA) is currently staging a protest around the building at 383 Madison Avenue. They are speaking out against government involvement in the JPMorgan Chase – Bear Stearns merger. There are also a number of reporters and camera crews there as well. We expect the protest to last for some time.
Coming Clean/ Blog Liner Notes
In light of everything you may have seen splattered all over the Wall Street Journal these days I may not be at this desk much longer. I still don't know for sure but I figured I may as well start packing up my stuff and dragging my 'favourite places' into an email to send home later.
I'm realising I have no idea what some of these links are (or why I've saved them) so this should be an exciting and possibly embarassing excercise. I think some may be links for stories I'd planned to do that never made it past the cutting room floor. Our editors here are tough!
So I figured why not save all the links here so you too can see what I've had stored for the past year or so while I did this blog at work. It will also shed some light on my secret sources of aggregation; you know, all the wonderful news I write about that you've grown to love and cherish; apublic spring cleaning if you will!
If the links aren't self-explanatory I'll try to give a brief description so even you can understand. Enjoy!
The New York Radio Message Board - NY radio geek HQ
Associated Press: National News via the feed from the Las Vegas Sun
Whitney Matheson's Pop Candy blog - a bona fide list nut who has been known to aggregate some serious jewels
AP Breaking News feed via some Tampa Bay website
TMZ.com - its a love/hate relationship
Professor Hex Scholar of the Strange and Mysterious - can't recall the last time I clicked on this one but I had it saved for some reason or another
The Avatars of Ganesha - no clue, must've been bulking up on my Indian gods and goddesses for Jeopardy!
wood s lot blog - Hmmm... not sure, looks like some intellectual interviews with artists and writers.
AN INTRODUCTION TO ASTROLOGY - I can't ever remember the symbols and their corresponding months
Punk & the Swastika - Fashion 1
Still Married, With Children, but in Russian - NY Times article on the Russian smash hit sitcom, "Schastlivy Vmeste" a remake of "Married With Children"
Barnes & Noble.com - Opium: The Diary of a Cure - never got around to buying this one, but xmas is 9 months away!
The Instant Art Critique Phrase Generator - this is great
random link to an old photo of a sled dog team howling - a random link to an old photo of a sled dog team howling
cassette tape culture - all sorts of cassette art and clothing, eh too ironic
The NY Inquirer - somewhat cryptic article about the Diamond District
Google image search: 'ganguro'
"Tanya Jones, Alcor's chief operating officer, holds a container that will be filled with liquid nitrogen and used to preserve a human head at minus 320 degrees Fahrenheit..."
Wikipedia's link to 'The Meeting Place Cannot Be Changed' - from research on an aborted article about this Soviet 5-part television miniseries and cult classic from 1979
Snopes.com - list of actors who have died in front of an audience, on stage or TV
Listen to Ron & Fez online - one of my all-time favourite radio shows, great for those long days when its 10:30 for about 4 hours
Through the Brooklens blog "Photographic wanderings through Brooklyn and beyond"
INSIDE RADIO - leading industry news, ratings and classifieds
Wikipedia's link to A Contract with God, and Other Tenement Stories - from research on an aborted article on the famous graphic novel/comic book by the late, great Will Eisner
igourmet link to truffle honey - which is great drizzled on cheese
"Why aren't radio stations allowed to say "Super Bowl" on the air?"
"We Are Family"
The New England Historic Genealogical Society has found a link between Barack Obama and Brad Pitt, and Hillary Clinton and Angelina Jolie.
According to the organisation, Pitt and Obama are ninth cousins, linked by a man named Edwin Hickman, who died in Virginia in 1769. Clinton and Jolie are also ninth cousins, twice removed, who are both related to a Jean Cusson who died in St. Sulpice, Quebec, in 1718. A spokesman for the Obama campaign declined to comment on the senator's ancestry because he is also related and didn't wanna talk shit about his family.
According to the report Hillary Clinton, who is of French Canadian descent on her mother's side, is also a distant cousin of Madonna, Celine Dion and Alanis Morrissette.
While Obama, the son of a white woman from Kansas and a black man from Kenya, can call six U.S. presidents, including George W. Bush, his cousins.
Genealogists say that while many candidates spend time pointing out the differences between them, their ancestry shows they are more alike than they think.
Obama is also distantly linked to Winston Churchill, Civil War General Robert E. Lee, and Vice President Dick Cheney.
Founded in 1845, The New England Historic Genealogical Society is the largest and oldest nonprofit genealogical organisation in the country.
Uh, yeah.
25 March 2008
New Twist In Linda Stein Murder Case
Ron Kuby, the lawyer for the girl charged in the murder of multimillionaire real estate agent & ex-Ramones manager Linda Stein, says the medical examiner issued a new report stating a male's blood was found mixed with Stein's blood. Stein was found in a pool of blood inside her $3 million Fifth Avenue apt. on Oct. 30. Her assistant, Natavia Lowery, was charged with her murder.
Read all past articles on Stein
Can I Have Some More Of What You've Got?
She used to stand at the window of an office in the The Helmsley Building and watch the lights all change together at night down Park Avenue and down Park Avenue she swam like a dolphin in the simple synchronicity of this beautiful city. This beautiful city, tried and tested. The Dowager Queen of Terminal City. She walks barefoot among such imperial grandeur. Marble walls with bronze detail and with bronze detail she craves the Coney Island sand between her lavender toes. Her lavender toes scrunch in her shoes as she watches the floors inside the Chinese Red elevator doors open into cabs with crimson walls, mahogany moldings, gift domes, and painted cloudscapes she dreams in buckets, in gallons, in soft elegant strokes.
Some people watch paint dry. Some people watch bananas turn brown. Yeah, I knew a guy who did that. Put it as his job description. "Watching bananas turn brown", he wrote exactly that. Saw it myself. His boss needed a banana everyday and it was this man's job to make sure his boss got said banana. I don't think his boss ever even ate the yellow fruit, it just became a thing. It was the point, I guess. Kinda like Van Halen and the brown M&M's...
People assumed it was because Van Halen were a bunch of prima donnas – and surely they were but not because of the brown M&M's – the bowl of brown M&M's was actually to make sure concert promoters were paying attention to detail.
They added "a bowl of only brown M&M's" to their contract rider in the middle of several pages of serious and detailed lighting & sound specs for their show. So if there wasn't a bowl of dirt coloured M&M's waiting for them backstage the band would know the promoters hadn't paid attention to the other important info and glossed over their contract rider. It was brilliant, actually.
Some bands I know asked for socks and batteries. We asked for stamps sometimes–back in the old days when people still sent letters and postcards. I used to get a local paper. I loved reading a local paper backstage. I did it maybe once or twice.
Nowadays, to pass the time, I thread needles – sometimes with the lights on, sometimes with the lights off. I find it very relaxing. And plus I need to keep my eyesight sharp, y’know? My father used to get mad at me for reading in the dark. I think they call it “painting in a cave”. I don’t know.
I can't get “So give me coffee and tv…history” out of my head now. But anyway, I'll only thread navy thread through a needle. I don't work with any other colours. It's a great patience exercise without getting all Zen and ethereal.
I spent the weekend trying to calculate my severance pay. Been with this firm for fifteen years but I’ve always lived within my means so I’ll be all right. I’ve driven the same Subaru Forester for the past ten years. So I’ll be OK. Just need to get some new suits so I can go on some interviews. Something navy, pinstriped and bespoke.
"I haven't watered that plant in days", he said.
"I'm not too good with plants. I kill them", she said, laughing nervously but dejected.
My tailor, Leo, is actually a part of that Society for Creative Anachronism thing. Its a club, a cult that recreates pre-17th century Western European history and culture. Like those guys reenact the Civil War, these guys spend their weekends reenacting the breakup of the Carolingian empire. It's a real hoot but sometimes it gets in the way, to be totally honest.
Sometimes it's Tuesday afternoon and I have a dinner meeting and I've got a hole in my trousers and Leo's in Ontario reenacting the Crusades and reading from the Toggenburg Bible by the light of a flickering torch. Yeah, I know what you are thinking, and yes, I do need to find a new tailor.
24 March 2008
'BEAR MAY HAVE LIVED'
By PAUL THARP and ZACHERY KOUWE
A FATE MARTS CAN'T BEAR
BERNANKE'S DECISIVE ACTION SAVED BILLIONS
By DAVID NELSON
Do you feel like a chain store? Practically floored
One of many zeros, kicked around bored
Your ears are full but you're empty
Holding out your heart to people who never really care how you are
So give me coffee and tv
History
I've seen so much I'm goin blind
And I'm braindead virtually
Sociability its hard enough for me
Take me away form this big bad world and agree to marry me
So we can start all over again
Do you go to the country
It isnt very far
There's people there who will hurt you
Cos of who you are
Your ears are full of the language
Theres wisdom there you're sure
til the words start slurring
And you can't find the door
So give me coffee and tv
History
I've seen so much I'm goin blind
And I'm braindead virtually
Sociability its hard enough for me
Take me away form this big bad world
And agree to marry me
So we can start all over again
So give me coffee and tv
History
I've seen so much I'm goin blind
And I'm braindead virtually
Sociability
Its hard enough for me
Take me away form this big bad world
And agree to marry me
So we can start all over again
Oh...we could start over again
Oh...we could start over again
Oh...we could start over again
Oh...we could start over again