Lead Us Not Into Penn Station But Deliver Us From Evil: It's Friday Morning!

• Believe it or not, these three are totally free this weekend, so holla.
  
  
  
• Y'know, I was thinking the same thing... Paula Abdul allegedly tripped over her designer dog and busted her nose, but she didn't look like she had no broken nose on Idol the other night. Turns out she actually threw a temper tantrum in her house, threw something at a mirror and a piece of glass cut her nose. Whatever, Paula. Fade out.
  
  
• If you've been following this hilarious View beef betwixt Rosie O'Douchell and Elisabeth Hasselwho, you'll enjoy this nugget of goss: I guess after Rosie's ballistic blow-out with Hasselhoff the other day, Rosie trashed Elizabeth's dressing room and was then escorted from ABC Studios after she was caught drawing moustaches on photos of Elisabeth hanging around the building. Hahahahahaha that's the greatest thing I've heard all day, granted, its only 9:45 am.

• WHAT THE FUCK?! More than 5,000 wild animals have been found abandoned and close to death on a broken-down fishing boat off the coast of southern China?!??! This is depressing, don't read it.
  
  
• A Queens teen was arrested for cutting a Sikh student's hair.
  
  
• Faster, Longer, Harder.............................. subways needed to keep up with a growing number of passengers.
  
  
• Congress Approves Minimum-Wage Increase... by summer 2009, all minimum-wage jobs will pay no less than $7.25 an hour.
  
  
• Coca-Cola Buys Glaceau (maker of Vitamnwater) for $4.1B
  
  
• The anatomy of a one punch knockout
  
  
  
  
• Flavorpill tonight American Museum of Natural History. eh.
  
  
• Atlanta's Cartel are recording their new album in a biospheric bubble on Pier 54 in NYC... The bubble is a 2,000-square-foot recording studio with a custom kitchen and dining room, a casual lounge area and a spa-like bathroom as well as a 'Sleeping Bubble,' elevated nine feet off the ground and hung in place with airplane hanger cables. Um. There's a website for this wacky stunt sponsored by Dr. Pepper. I tried to log-on and I got a panic attack; its one of those young-hip-HEY-Xtreme websites, not for the faint of heart.
  
  
• This ain't no Ozzfest: It's Hamptonspalooza! Billy Joel, Prince, James Taylor, Tom Petty and Dave Matthews LIVE this summer in The Hamptons for only $15,000. Siiick. Then again, it's not just about music, dude: there will be artists on exhibit, celebrity chefs will cook, parking will cost nothing and seating will include daybeds, ottomans and Moroccan pillows. Prince will also be blowing dudes for an additional $5,000 a pop.