27 June 2007

Americans are feeling enormous "Paris fatigue"; US Weekly blacks out P_ _ _ _ coverage? I smell a rat

Paris Hilton got out of jail yesterday and she won't be on the cover of US Weekly on Friday?!

How, barring the unraveling of the Seventh Seal, is this possible?!

"When it came down to it, the staff and I felt what I believe a lot of people in America are feeling. Which is just enormous Paris fatigue," US Weekly Editor Janice Min told AP.

Now, is that something I can call out sick for? A case of Paris fatigue?

As a result of this new phenom of malaise, Hilton not only won't be on the cover, there won't even be a mention of her in the magazine. HOLLA!

That was no easy task, she said, adding US Weekly editors had to comb carefully through every beauty story and every fashion item to make sure there wasn't an offhand mention of the hotel heiress somewhere... hahaha! But, um, isn't there a program that can do that? Yes, there is, but hey, who am I to deny a few already overpaid editors some bogus O.T.?

The Associated Press put in place a similar Hilton moratorium for a week earlier this year, just to see what would happen. Ooh, what a daring experiment. But as it turned out, the celebutante didn't do much that was of interest to anyone that week anyway. AP: Foiled again!

Still, Min expects her magazine will do just fine without Paris.

Hilton, she said, has become such a mainstream media staple "that in many ways her time with US Weekly has moved on." Oh OK, riiiiiight Janice. US Weekly: the bastion of journalism pour le intelligentsia has "moved on" from stories about celebutantes and taints.

So look instead for a US Weekly cover photo Friday of Tom Cruise's baby and, inside the magazine, a dozen pages of other Hollywood babies. Oh, now THAT'S candor! A Hollywood baby gallery? How exciting and different!!

So is Janice Min really becoming Winston Churchill or is "Paris Fatigue" simply US Weekly's clever concoction to distract the fact that People ponied up and beat them to the exclusive with Miss Thang?! Hmmmmm...

Enquiring minds wanna know.

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