21 September 2007

Park(ing) Day

I'm very sorry folks, but this is fucking retarded.

Apparently today couldn't just be the beautiful DEATH of summer, we now have to share September 21st with goddamn National Park(ing) Day... a day where the granolas come out in full force to turn a few wonderful, hard-to-find parking spots into little "hey, look at us!" patches of grass. In a word, this is just dumb.

National Park(ing) Day is a "series of public art projects nationwide to celebrate parks and promote the need for more parks in America's cities."

"National Park(ing) Day is an opportunity to reclaim public parking spaces for parks and open spaces - places for people to enjoy.

The quality of our daily experience is only enhanced by often neglected necessities like parks, playgrounds, and gardens - places that get us in touch with nature, with each other, and with ourselves. "
Hmmmm. OK, but these are cities. LA and New York City aren't exactly known for their lush greenery. You want parks? Go to the fucking country. What I mean is, don't move to a big city and bitch about the lack of verdure or you'll be sitting in a parking spot on astroturf drinking a goddamn lemonade like an asshole.

hi, we're retarded.

Also, lets talk about all the gas I'll be wasting and all the air I'll be-a pollutin' rootin' around looking for a spot now that half of them are parks! Are we thinking about that, fellas?

And this ish is going down from Manhattan to Manchester, from Rio to Wisconsin!! I'm sorry, its cute, but its just silly and will actually make for more pollution.

I'd love to see a desperate SUV'er barrel into one of these "parks" in reverse, not even realising there were people sitting there eating their curds and whey. Now THAT would be awesome!

No comments: