26 February 2008

Sign o' The Times: Prince Needs A New Hip Therefore We're All Officially Old

Dearly beloved, Prince is 49 now and he needs a new hip. Yes, that Prince, and no, I'm not joking. Prince's hip has officially left the building. Morris Day & The New Power Generation can't help now.

The surgery will involve removing the ball and socket of Prince's damaged hip and replacing it with a titanium joint. Insiders are saying Prince is totally crushed because he knows he will never be the same again.

Apparently he was trying to keep it secret, allegedly booking into a very private celeb hospital and clearing two months from his schedule to allow time to recover from the operation. But nothing is sacred these days.

So the PR spin is that still virile Prince is being forced! to undergo the surgery as a result of years of "the most energetic and blistering performances in show business". Yeah, that and he's not 23 anymore.

Fellow old-timer Sheena E. had no comment. She was busy playing shuffleboard and eating apple sauce at press time.

Can someone still be considered hip once they've broken a hip? These are the questions the world wants answered!

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