Toxicologist Walks Into A Bar...

Now I'm no toxicologist but while reading about your boy Vito Fossella getting pulled over and arrested for a DWI outside of DC on Thursday I started thinking about it. The Republican congressman's arrest warrant indicated his blood alcohol was "0.17", whatever that means, and the article went on to say it was "twice the legal limit" - when is it ever not "twice the legal limit"? Isn't that always the case? Has anyone ever gotten pulled over and passed a breathalyzer test and the cop said "OK. You're fine. You can go."?! In fact, I'd bet after two Red Stripes or two glasses of Sauvignon blanc you'd be over the legal limit and when haven't we all driven like that? It reminds me of when someone gets hurt and they say "Yeah, my doctor said if it were another centimetre to the left I woulda been paralyzed". If I had a nickel for every time I heard that, I'd have at least 5 bucks by now. I suppose I could've done some responsible journalistic research on legal limits in various states and how many actual drinks add up to such and such a blood-alcohol level but its 11 A.M. on a Saturday and I don't really care. I did find this cool Blood-Alcohol Content Calculator online however and it says "a person's blood-alcohol level is the result of a complex interaction of weight, gender, alcohol consumed, and time." Are all those factors taken into consideration by the cop or just whatever the driver blows into that machine? Hmmm. Perhaps I should write a letter to my local congressman? Dear Mr. Fossella,