Me to Sharon Stone: "Get your filthy mitts off my woman!"; $7M raised for AIDS research

Sharon Stone all up on my girl Kylie yesterday in Cannes.

Sharon Stone played auctioneer, Kylie Minogue and Julian Lennon sang, and burlesque dancer Dita Von Teese did a saucy strip routine - all to raise money for AIDS research.

An annual benefit soiree, yes I said it, on the sidelines of the Cannes Film Festival yesterday raised $7 million for the American Foundation for AIDS Research (amfAR).

Stone, wearing a clingy silver dress, played hostess and fast-talking auctioneer throughout the night. When George Clooney and other wanna-be Rat Pack cast members of "Ocean's Thirteen" came onstage to auction off a yacht vacation, Stone promised a bidder: "If you put up $350,000, George will kiss you."

Clooney went through with it, and he and Stone sold two yacht vacations instead of one for a total of $700,000.

Ivana Trump won a Francesco Vezzoli portrait of a teary-eyed Bette Davis for $200,000.

Claudia Schiffer and Naomi Campbell joined Stone onstage to auction off a package of fashion show tickets, for $175,000.

Harvey Weinstein (LeChaim!) spotted my girl Minogue at dinner and pulled her onstage to sing "The Loco-Motion" and "Can't Get You Out of My Head," which raised $300,000.

Von Teese came onstage in cowgirl suit, complete with pink glittering hat, then stripped down to underwear, pink cowboy boots and strategically placed tassels. Instead of a bucking bronco, she rode atop a giant spinning lipstick. Oh my.

Julian Lennon closed the party with "Stand by Me."

The previous evening, a Cannes benefit dinner hosted by the "Ocean's Thirteen" cast raised $9.2 million to help refugees from the Sudanese province of Darfur; Darfur has become the new celeb hot spot to raise awareness and donate money to, though I doubt any of these clowns could find Darfur on a map; your editor included.