Boring Machine Arrives For East Side Access

"God this machine is so boring", said a construction worker on his lunch break.

"No, you meat head it's a BORING machine!", said said MTA spokeswoman Mercedes Padilla.

"Yeah, thats what I just said lady", he bellowed "we been watching this thing for an hour now and it's absolutely f*cking BORING!"

The city began a major step toward expanding public transportation services today with the arrival of a huge "earth-eating" machine that will carve a tunnel to complete a long-awaited linking of the Long Island Rail Road to Grand Central Terminal on Manhattan's East Side.

Huge components of the 200-ton borer were lowered into the mouth of an excavation in Long Island City on the Queens side of the East River, from where it was to be pushed through an existing tunnel under the river to a starting point on the Manhattan side.

The equipment, known as a TBM, or Tunnel Boring Machine, was built and tested in Rome, Italy where it put 45 men to sleep before being shipped by sea to New York in May and trucked to the installation site.

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