02 June 2008

The Snake Guy Cometh

OK, once and for all, what is the fucking deal with the ubiquitous dude with a snake around his neck?

Every goddamn street fair there is, no matter where you go, there is always one dude who walks around with a python around his neck all day long. And naturally he thinks he's the fucking man

Girls come up and wanna pet his snake and they go "oh my god" and scream
"Can I touch your snake?"
"What do you feed that thing?"
"Does that thing eat zeppoles?"

Dudes go up to him, "Yo thats a big snake, yo"
"Yo, that dudes got a long snake, son"

I mean...

The large print innuendos are as subtle as an anvil over your head and almost as classy
But then again, its a street fair; should I expect anything different?

I don't believe in the "fast red sports car makes up for your small penis" phenom. It just means you have money and you're insecure and desperately trying to tell people how NOT uptight you are.

But walking around with a 6 foot snake around your neck, I mean come on... if that isn't overcompensating for your small dick, I don't know what it is.

Will you just get the fuck out of here with that thing?!
You look like a fool.

That's not your dick, its a snake.
Go put that fucking thing away.